What if? The Purgatory of Lily
by Escoger
Summary: Lily, after her death, gets the chance to see all of the mistakes she made in life, by viewing the lives of other Lilys who DIDN'T make her mistakes. Most pairings are SS/LE, but there are some JP/LP and others.
1. Talks At The WayStation

**What If? The Purgatory of Lily**

**Chapter 1**

**Talks At The Way-Station**

_What greater hell is there than to know what heavens you could have achieved?_

**_Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series._**

"...inking carefully prevents years of purgatory! Enjoy your afterlife!"

"Repeating...Remember! Walking slowly and thinking carefully prevents years of purgatory! Enjoy your afterlife!"

Lily Potter slowly sat up, groaning; the last thing that she could remember had been Voldemort's shouting of _"Avada Kedavra!"_, and now she seemed to be in...King's Cross? She looked around slowly and saw, to her astonishment, what appeared to be a legion of...herself...

Blinking to clear her vision, the strange sight before her didn't go away, nor did the sound of the PA system, which was rapidly becoming very annoying. There were indeed what appeared to be thousands of people who looked exactly like herself in greyish robes, with golden numbers on them. Each of the Lilys had minor differences to be sure, such as tattoos, different hairstyles, different piercings, but they were all her. Looking more carefully, she noticed that there were subtle differences in the color of the robes, and the different numbers seemed to be related to the different colors. The lower the number, the darker and closer to black the robes became, especially when they got below the number ten, and the higher the number, the lighter the color of the robes, all the way to sparkling white in the numbers of ninety and above.

Frowning, Lily glanced down at herself, finding, to her disappointment, that her robes were a darkish grey, with a shiny, golden twenty-six emblazoned on them. 'Unless a lot has changed, I doubt that being Dark is anything good, although I could be wrong...'

Lily then noticed that, while new Lilys were appearing every second, a great many of them were going through what appeared to be a checkpoint, which was garrisoned by, not even remotely surprisingly to her, five more Lilys, all with numbers of twenty to forty, appearing to be bored out of their skulls as they gave train tickets, pointed out directions, and generally guided the horde of Lilys to their various trains.

Lily opened her mouth to ask what was going on, only to find that she couldn't say a word. With nothing else she could think of, she joined the lines and, within five minutes, arrived in front of one of the Lilys manning the checkpoint. Glancing at her, the other Lily said, clearly bored, "Take the train on Platform 16, once you get aboard the train you will be able to speak again, and you will meet any friends, family, or loved ones once you make it to the afterlife proper. Just go forward a hundred paces, then make a left; you can't miss it."

Nodding dumbly, thoroughly confused, Lily followed the directions, and found a locomotive with a single car, probably able to fit no more than five or six people. Walking inside, she found four other Lilys, who were already talking; as could be expected, they looked pretty much the same, with small variations, save for the robes. One of them had sparkling white robes, with a ninety-six emblazoned, two others had light greyish robes, with a fifty-five on one and a forty-two on the other, and the last one had pitch-black robes, with a golden two emblazoned on them.

Noticing her, Fifty-five moved over a bit and offered Lily her seat, then, as the doors closed behind Lily, Forty-two said, "So...Now that we are apparently all here, do you guys wanna trade life-stories and such? I mean, you guys did say that you were only waiting for the last one of us to arrive..."

Sighing, Fifty-five said, "Fine, who wants to start?"

Ninety-six grinned, then said, "Sure, I will! Ahem...I am Lily Evans Snape, born, like the rest of you guys, in 1960; I met my best friend and future husband Severus Snape when I was seven, went to Hogwarts when I was eleven, got sorted into Hufflepuff, where I was tops in all of my classes."

She paused for a moment, taking a breath, then plowed on, "I became and Auror and joined the Order of the Phoenix when I was seventeen, along with Sev; after a few weeks there, we quit, because of Dumbledore's secretive ways and such, joined the Ministry, and spearheaded the formation of the White Dawn division, then Sev and I managed to slowly overcome Voldemort's Death Eaters via the use of superior numbers, and the creation of a spell to detect and undo the _Imperius _curse, which helped us prevent him from making use of people who had been mind-controlled. After the war, Severus and I had two kids, Thomas and Marigold. Unfortunately, in a bit of an accident, I got hit by a bus when I was taking a walk and well...died."

Forty-two chuckled a little, saying, "Ironic, she saves the world, only to be destroyed by a Muggle automobile..."

Frowning a little, Ninety-six then said, "How about you, miss...?"

Forty-two smirked, then said, "Lily Evans POTTER, at your service. After my parents died when I was six, I was raised by my grandparents in London until I went to Hogwarts, where I met MY future husband when I was sorted into Gryffindor. Although this Snape kid you mentioned did become one of my best friends too, I never really considered marrying him, and I am surprised that he ever would have felt the same way, as he had a crush on Mary almost since the day I arrived."

She seemed to be thinking on that topic for a moment, then shrugged and said, "Well, the four of us joined the Order of the Phoenix, being all Gryffindors of course, then, after the Longbottoms died, sacrificing themselves for their son, who took out Voldemort, I had a son, Harry. We probably would have lived happily ever after, but, when Voldemort returned, he kind of killed me in a battle at the Department of Mysteries..."

Nodding, Lily was about to jump in, when Two, who hadn't said a word prior, said with a bit of mild surprise, "Huh, you two have sure lived strange lives..."

Fifty-five questioned, "How so?"

Two shrugged, then said, "Well, like the one in the Ninety-six over there, I met Severus when I was seven, then went to Hogwarts with him, where the two of us were sorted into Slytherin; we joined the Death Eaters when we turned seventeen, then got engaged when we were eighteen. After a few months of seek-and-destroy work, taking out the Mckinnons and the Bones in the process, we received word that Voldemort had fallen to some bloody infant. Rather than let all of our hard work go to ruin, we rallied the rest of the Death Eaters...cowards most of them, then led them to victory over the Ministry, and I became Minister of Magic."

Sighing, she then said bitterly, "Unfortunately, Amelia Bones, and the rest of the rebels, killed Sev a month before we were to marry, not giving up even after we took out the ringleader, Dumbledore. After purging them, and the rest of those who tried to challenge my rule, I, with the help of dear Bella, managed to revive our lord, who then took over the wizarding world. Unfortunately, the Dark Lord was a bloody traitor and executed me, so that he could have official control of the country..."

Somehow, no-one looked like they particularly pitied the woman, and after a minute's silence, wherein only the rumbling of the train on the tracks could be heard, as it had apparently started moving during their talk, Lily spoke up, saying, "Well, I am Lily Evans Potter; I met Severus, like most of you it appears, when I was seven, then I became best friends with him and we went to Hogwarts together, where he was sorted into Slytherin and I into Gryffindor. He and my future husband, James Potter, had a bitter rivalry, which lasted until James' sixth year, when James stopped attacking him out of respect to me."

Sighing heavily, she then said, "Severus...started hanging closer and closer to these boys, Mulciber and Avery, who were trying to join the Death Eaters. Desperate, I tried for several years to change his mind about staying friends with them, and it culminated in this incident by the lake where Severus called me...a Mudblood, after I rescued him from Potter. Finally giving up, I ended our friendship, just before he joined the Death Eaters officially, then eventually, James and I got closer and closer until we were wed. We both became Aurors, and joined the Order of the Phoenix, fighting until I became pregnant and had Harry, my first and only son, when Dumbledore suddenly said that we were to go into hiding, having been tipped off by an unknown source that the three of us were in danger. We hid for more than a year, only to be killed when our secret-keeper, Peter Pettigrew, betrayed us to Voldemort. I think that I may have managed to save Harry's life by sacrificing myself though..."

Surprised, Fifty-five then said, "Huh, that sounds almost exactly like my story, until right after the part by the lake. I almost cut him loose as well, but changed my mind at the last minute, when he begged me for my forgiveness. I managed to keep him from joining the Death Eaters, well, not for real anyway, although there was nothing I could do about Avery and Mulciber; eventually, Dumbledore asked him to spy on the Death Eaters on the behalf of the Order of the Phoenix, and he did so until, with the knowledge we gained from him, we were able to bring down Voldemort in 1982, after a long and bloody war. We got married within the week when he proposed to me, out of the blue..."

Fifty-five seemed to grow misty-eyed for a moment, then coughed, blushing, before saying, "...Anyway, the two of us never had kids, as I got a bad curse...there, during the war, but we spent the rest of our lives together, until he died in bed at seventy-three. I went about five years later... I just hope that that TRAMP, NARCISSA, ISN'T TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY ABSENCE TO TRY AND STEAL HIM FROM ME!"

Noticing everyone elses' looks, Fifty-five blushed again, and was about to speak, when the doors suddenly opened, and they found themselves at a rather dingy gate, with another 'copy' standing there, and Lily found herself unable to speak again. Frowning, Lily walked up to the other, with the rest of her comrades behind her, and the woman then said, pointing to each of them in turn, "You! Far Left! You! Center! You! Far Right! You! Center-Right! And You! Center-Left!"

As she had been pointing at Lily herself as she finished, Lily obeyed and walked into a small, circular room with a single, blood-red stone hovering at the center of it. She heard it then say, "Processing...Lily 18275048, finished in the Twenty-Sixth Percentile. Individual results: pain to others: 5, pain to self: 1, pleasure to others: 5, pleasure to self: 6. Overall Result: -2.5...Would you prefer two times in hell, or twenty times in purgatory as the payment on your balance madam?"

Blinking stupidly, Lily said, "Excuse me? And where the hell is my husband!?"

The stone then said, "Processing...James Potter 18275048, finished in the Fifteenth Percentile. Individual results: pain to others: 7, pain to self:1, pleasure to others: 4, pleasure to self: 8. Overall Result: -6.5...Has chosen one-hundred times in purgatory..."

Pausing, the stone then said, "Processing...Explanation: The sum total of the acts in your life determine how quickly one enters the afterlife; one receives points for suffering or preventing the suffering of others, and loses points for joy and preventing the joy of others. The reason for this is that, when one chooses an action, if it helps them as well as others, then it is not truly selfless, and thus suffers a downranking. If the good you have done and the pain you have received is greater than or equal to the evil you have done and the good you have received, then you may enter your afterlife immediately; otherwise, payment must be made in the form of time in either hell or purgatory until your balance has been equalized..."

Lily then said, "So either I spend a bunch of time in purgatory or not much in hell, correct?"

"Indeed..."

Lily frowned, before saying, "Hmm, I think that I would rather have purgatory myself, but..."

"Processing...Accepted into Purgatory. You will spend twenty times gazing in the Mirror of Fi-Tahw, then continue on to the afterlife."

Lily interrupted, incensed, "Hey! I didn't say that I accepted!"

"Processing...Mirror of Fi-Tahw; this mirror is designed to show the lives and decisions of (Insert Name Here)'s, or more specifically, the superior versions of those people, so that the viewer may learn of the errors they made in life, and get a better understanding. It is focused towards those who were overly judgemental, naive, blind and/or stupid in their choices..."

Really getting angry, Lily then shouted, "I am not STUPID!" As the room began to glow a bright white, she then shouted, "Nor did I agree to this either!"

"Processing...Lily 18275048 has said 'I accepted', and 'I agree', thus the subject has agreed..."

"I really hate you, you know that...?"

Everything then faded to white...

**Author's Note: **This is a bit of an unusual fanfic, so I will put it in simple terms; Lily will get the chance to see the lives of a stream of other Lilys, who, at various points in their lives, made different decisions to her, maybe being a little smarter, kinder, more observant or patient, at certain times, which led to radical changes in the outcome of her life. For example, what if, outside of Gryffindor tower, she had given Severus the choice between herself, and he Death Eaters, and told him that their friendship would depend on it?

Each of these different possibilities will receive its own oneshot, which will describe the change made, and tell the story of what came after.

YOU, the readers will get to vote on which differences at key points in the time-line she sees, as well as suggest other changes she could have made. I won't update this fic too often, as I want to give plenty of time for voting and suggestions.

IN ORDER TO VOTE: Select one or more of the possibilities listed, and include them in either a Review, a PM, or an E-mail. You may vote for as many possibilities as you like, but only once for each possibility.

IN ORDER TO POST A NEW SUGGESTION: List the choice that Lily could have made, and your reasoning, and include it in either a Review, a PM, or an E-mail.

ALL SUGGESTED POSSIBILITIES MUST HAVE BEEN ABLE TO OCCUR IN CANON, AND THEY MUST BE DIFFERENCES IN **_LILY'S_** CHOICES. For example, having James be just a little too late in rescueing Severus during the Werewolf prank is not an option, as Lily didn't make that choice, but having her decide to kiss him once in fifth year, just to see what it would be like, is.

In spite of the listed pairing, not all of the lives she views will have Severus and Lily paired together in the end, although a majority will.

Here is a starter list of ideas:

Lily decides to kiss Severus once in fifth year, just to see what kissing is like.

Outside the portrait hole, when Severus goes up to apologize to Lily, she presses him until he has to answer one way or another, rather than just heading back to her dormitory in disgust.

When Severus hints to Lily about Lupin in fourth year, in connection to James' 'heroics', Lily gets curious about the possibility of him being a werewolf rather than dismissing Severus' concerns.

When Lily tells Severus off about his friends in fourth year, she attempts to use concrete examples to prove that they are as bad, or worse than, the Marauders.

When the two of them are about to be sorted in first year, Lily, afraid, begs Severus to try to get sorted to the same house as her.

Rather than almost smiling one time during the incident by the lake, Lily doesn't even get amused at all.

**FEEL FREE TO OFFER MORE!**


	2. A Wish to Never Be Parted

**What if? The Purgatory of Lily**

**Chapter 2**

**A Wish to Never Be Parted**

_He may be a geek, but he's MY geek, and he's always been there for me, so GO TO HELL POTTER!_

**_Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series._**

Lily frowned as she saw the area she had appeared; she was sitting in a simple white, wooden chair in front of what appeared to be a simple full-length, mahogany-backed mirror, with the words Fi-Tahw on the top of it. It emanated a soft glow and appeared to be constructed of a series of question marks aligned just so, keeping it balanced in spite of how it looked like it could fall over any moment.

Annoyed at the fact that she had been forced to come here against her will, Lily jumped up and shouted, "YOU...IDIOTS! Let me out of here before I hex you into tadpoles!"

Her voice seemed to vanish into the darkness, leaving her alone, angry and scared. Lily then marched off in one direction, only to find herself walking to where she had started by the chair and the mirror.

Huffing with annoyance, Lily ran over to the mirror and tried to throw it to the ground, smashing it. Unfortunately, it only reappeared again back where she had taken it in the first place. Lily then, realizing that she was acting a little crazy, forced herself to calm down while thinking to herself, 'OK, I guess that I have no choice but to do this, not really, so let's see what this bloody mirror can do...'

Frowning, she sat down in the chair with a huff and looked around for something she could do to make it work. Finding an engraving on the bottom of the mirror, she read aloud,

"Sit in the chair and press hand to glass to make use of the Mirror; it will show possibilities of time-lines selected at random, that are designed to assist the viewer with their understanding as much as possible. WARNING: it is impossible to leave until one has used it the required number of times."

Sighing, Lily followed the instructions of the mirror and pressed her right hand to the mirror slowly, and shut her eyes tightly as the mirror suddenly flashed brightly; squinting, Lily watched as the light reformed itself to a scene that she remembered well from her childhood. It was one of the last moments she could remember before everything had seemed to slowly, irredeemably, fall into darkness. This moment consisted of her and Severus in the train compartment on the Hogwarts express her first year, with James and Sirius, with the other two boys chatting and Lily crying...

* * *

As the original Lily (AN: Henceforth referred to as Lily-prime) watched the two, Severus tried to cheer up the crying girl by saying excitedly, "But we're going! This is it! We're off to Hogwarts!"

Lily nodded, still mopping her tears, and smiled a little although she was still sad, as she remembered how Petunia had been inseperable and was afraid that now she might lose Severus too. Biting her lip, she then said, interrupting Severus before he even got started on his topic,

"You'd better be-"

"Sev, promise me that we will be in the same house, please!" Lily said this desperately, and Severus blinked for a moment, before saying softly,

"I don't think that that is a real option, Lily...I heard that there is this magic hat that chooses for you, and stuff. I mean, what can we do about it?"

_Lily-prime frowned, remembering how she had been planning on asking Severus that same question, only to get distracted by his first argument with James and Sirius. She had then forgotten until after the sorting, whereupon Severus had told her that there was nothing that they could do after the sorting had already taken place. _

_She also remembered how the sorting hat had screamed Slytherin after only a couple seconds of thought when Severus had put it on his head, and wondered how something so simple as her asking Severus could have led to any real changes..._

Lily looked at him, shaking slightly with fear, then said in a heated yet scared tone of voice, "Sev! Come on, you have to be able to do something! Pleaase..." She looked into his eyes, her own wide, only to be interrupted by the voice of James Potter, laughing as he said,

"Aw! Is your girlfriend asking you for helpie-welpie 'Sev'!?"

Clearly annoyed and embarrassed at the prat mocking him, Severus turned to the boy and said, red-faced, "Shut it." He then turned back to Lily and muttered in a tone barely audible to her, "I will if I can, Lily. Just don't hope for too much..."

_Lily-prime was surprised at this, as Severus had been planning to get into Slytherin practically since the moment he had heard of the four houses, from what he had told her in her original time-line..._

Lily, who was still red-faced at James' comment about her being Severus' girlfriend, nonetheless smiled while saying aloud, "Thank you, Sev! That means a lot to me!"

Sirius then said, smirking at Lily as she gave her friend a gigantic hug, "Awwww! How cute! Slime-boy and the girlfriend! Maybe she likes grease or something..."

James then laughed, and Lily's eyes flashed with anger and embarrassment, thinking to herself, 'I've had about enough of these boys...' Lily then grabbed Severus by the arm and said aloud, glaring at the other two boys,

"Come on Severus, let's find another compartment."

James and Sirius then said, high-fiving each other as they did so, "Ooooo..." They then started laughing as Severus and Lily walked out the door...

* * *

Lily watched from the Gryffindor table as some other names were called, waiting for Severus' turn with bated breath, not even listening really as the sorting hat called out other names. She looked over at Severus as he seemed to be trying to decide something, although Lily doubted anyone other than her would have noticed it.. 'Please Severus, I don't want to be alone in this new school...'

Severus was struggling internally, as he had wanted to get into Slytherin from the moment that he had heard about Slythein house, as it was the home of the clever and the cunning, like him, and the house of his mother. He knew that, if he got into Slytherin house, it would make her smile, something that she did all too rarely nowadays, especially since Tobias had lost his job a couple of months ago. On the other hand, he knew that it would make Lily very happy if he were to be in Gryffindor, and he didn't want to disappoint her either, as she was his best friend. He glanced over at Lily and saw her looking hopefully over at him.

'I know that its probably not my choice, and what I want won't make much of a difference, but...' Severus groaned to himself quietly, watching as 'Potter, James' was sorted into Gryffindor; he didn't want to disappoint either his mother or Lily, but, if it came down to it, he felt he owed Lily right now as he did feel rather guilty about how he had said that what happened with her sister wasn't important. Although, as far as he was concerned, Petunia didn't deserve Lily's sympathy, if she was calling her own sister a freak, just like Tobias did to him, he knew that Lily did care about her. '...I guess that at least I can make it up to Lily this way. Maybe Lily and I can bring up the reputation of Gryffindor house...unlike that idiot, Potter...'

_Lily-prime found listening to Severus' thoughts to be rather interesting; she had had no idea how Severus thought that Petunia was like his father, but it kind of made sense, as, from what she had gleaned in conversations with Severus, his father was likely abusive, and frequently belittled him, just because he happened to have inherited his mother's ability of magic. 'I wonder what till happen now...'_

Having decided, Severus walked determinedly up to the Sorting Hat as his name was called, then jammed it onto his head; over the next couple of minutes, Lily watched as the Sorting Hat deliberated, then Severus looked over at her, worried. Trying to encourage him, she smiled, and he smiled a thin smile of his own, before the Sorting Hat finally shouted, "GRYFFINDOR!"

Lily beamed at Severus as he walked over to Gryffindor table, moving over just enough to give him room to sit, although the two of them were a bit squashed together. Just audible over the cheering of Gryffindor's table, Lily said to him, "Thank you, Sev, it means a lot to me..."

He looked over at her, then went red for a moment before muttering that it was nothing. Lily then turned to the headmaster's table as he then started a speech, still thinking, 'I'm really glad that we are in the same house, my best friend and I...'

_Lily-prime was speechless in surprise, shocked that Severus had actually managed to convince the Sorting Hat to put him in Gryffindor, as, in her time-line, the Sorting Hat had barely even needed to think at all..._

* * *

_Lily-prime, starting to get rather interested, watched as time passed. It was a bit sped up and some things had obviously changed, as Severus showed no real interest in being a part of that group that Mulciber and Avery had been in, probably because they didn't have any major interest in getting the 'enemy' to join them. _

_In this time-line, Severus had made friends mostly with Lily's girlfriends, Alice Nesbitt and Mary Macdonald, although he and Remus Lupin weren't completely unfriendly. However, he was still generally considered 'a weirdo' by those not in his circle of friends, and the Marauders with the exception of Remus seemed to dislike him just as much as in her time-line. However, there was one huge difference..._

'Hmm, I wonder what Mary or Sev will say about this spell...?' Lily read with interest about a spell that would enable one to tell time easily, _tempus_, as she periodically watched for Severus to come over like they had planned. He had told her that he was going to be outside just as soon as he found his textbook again as his roommates, known as the so-called 'Marauders', had hidden it again.

Frowning, Lily thought to herself furiously, 'Those berks! I hope that, minus Remus, they all take a long walk off of a short pier sometime!'

Lily and the Marauders had more than a little dislike between them, mainly because she was friends with 'Snivellus' and was his 'girlfriend' in their eyes. It was completely false of course, but the title had managed to stick to some extent, in spite of both her and Severus' repeated denials.

Suddenly noticing Severus exiting the Great Hall, Lily was about to wave him over when she suddenly heard a much-disliked voice shouting,"Oi, Slime-girl! Try an _Aguamenti!"_

_Lily-prime was quite surprised that she and James had become seemingly as much of enemies as Severus and him had, and it didn't seem like it was the kind of teasing that boys do with girls they like, but more like planned humiliation...much like how he had treated Severus up until sixth year._

Even though she was moving as quickly as possible, Lily was still too slow to block Potter's spell, and got her front completely soaked for her troubles. Spitting out water while roaring with anger, Lily countered with a quick _expelliarmus _aimed at his face, but it was blocked by one of Black's. 'Blast it, why won't those jerks leave me alone!? Where is...' _"Rictusempra!" _'...Nevermind! there he is!'

Lily grinned as Severus' hex hit Potter from the side. While he was doubled up laughing, Lily took advantage of the situation to disarm him with another quick charm, before nodding in thanks over at Severus. Although he was now dueling with Pettigrew, he managed a smirk and a nod of his own in reply...

Soon the two of them managed to force the situation to enough of a draw that the Marauders decided to withdraw before any Prefects or teachers arrived. With one last parting shot of "Take care, Snivellus! Slime-Girl! Don't get grease on our textbooks!", the Marauders ran back into the school, and Lily and Severus collapsed to the ground panting. That little fight had taken quite a bit out of them.

_Lily-prime was rather surprised to see that, somehow, James had taken to insulting her about as much as he did Severus, rather than flirting with her. Thinking about it though, she supposed that since they seemed to be fighting with spells rather than words, that probably cooled down his romantic interest a lot..._

Lily looked over at Severus, then said gratefully, "T-thanks, Severus, I don't k-know what I would do w-without you."

Looking back at her, Severus went a bit red, before saying, "A-anytime Lily."

Several minutes went by, both of them recovering their strength. After she had pulled herself back together though, Lily then said in a bit of a bossy tone, "OK, Severus! It's time that we get to work on those spells that McGonagall had us memorize! We're supposed to have them learned by this time next week, you know!"

Smirking back at her, Severus said, "And if we know them already, Lily?"

Grinning, Lily then said in the same tone as before, knowing that Severus would probably like to have an excuse to clean the mud off him that he had been covered in because of a stray hex from Black, "Well I guess that we will just have to go swimming instead! Got it, Sev!?"

Severus gave a bit of a mock salute, then cried out, "Yes Ma'am!"

Lily then gave him a bit of a swat on the arm, pretending to be mildly cross but secretly pleased. She then ran into the water, laughing along with her best friend...

* * *

_As time passed, one thing that certainly didn't surprise Lily-prime was the fact that regardless of what house he was in Severus still seemed to be especially fascinated by the Dark Arts during his fourth year and beyond. _

_What did surprise her though was how her counterpart reacted to it; where Lily-prime and Severus had gotten into more than a few fights over it with some of them being quite vicious, her counterpart's and Severus' seemed much less heated, until finally..._

Lily sighed as she watched Severus curled up in a chair, reading what appeared to be another Dark Arts book. He had probably gotten from the restricted section with his usual excuse of 'It'll help me understand such-and-such more thoroughly', or some varient of that.

Glancing at the title, _Magick of Madness: Insanity-Causing Spells for The Slightly-Mad_, Lily sighed in exasperation. She walked over to him, tapped him on the head one time, before saying in annoyance, "Sev...You know how I feel about you reading about that stuff... I would be much more comfortable if you were reading up on spells, like the ones from our _Standard Book of Spells Grade Four_..."

Glancing up at her, less than a foot above his head, Severus felt himself blush as he stared into her green, almond-shaped eyes just mere inches overhead. Lily and him had this argument rather frequently, especially of late, and he was starting to get a little tired of it as she didn't seem to understand why he found it so interesting. Really, that was something which HE didn't understand.

'I mean, I'm reading about a spell that causes passion so great thatthe target makes a complete fool of him or herself, for twenty minutes straight! What could possibly be cooler!? Plus, it would be funny to use that on Potter sometimes...maybe when Black is in the room with him, he-he! Besides, mother is rather proud of me for at least carrying on one of the Slytherin traditions, even if I am not one myself...'

Sighing, Severus looked away, then said while smirking slightly as a thought came to him, "Lily...I'm not changing my mind... Besides, the two of us already read every spell in that book months ago!"

Pouting slightly in annoyance but knowing he was right, Lily paused then decided to try again, willing Severus to understand her concerns, "Come on Sev, it's not healthy, and its the same kind of spells that Death Eaters use... I don't really feel comfortable knowing that you are into that kind of stuff..."

Groaning, Severus said exasperatedly, holding his book in such a way that it reminded Lily of how she held her favorite stuffed-bear as he did so, "Lily...It's like with you and Charms...This stuff just calls to me! Would you agree if I asked you to give up on charms!?"

_Lily-prime found it rather interesting that although it was the same argument that she and Severus had had while they were in Hogwarts, almost down to the word in a couple of cases, there seemed to be far less force behind it. Really, it was sort of like how she had been when she had gotten annoyed at how her husband seemed to be obsessed with Quidditch sometimes, when he wasn't busy with work that is. Shrugging, she then continued watching the two argue..._

Lily rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips, saying with a very aggravated tone of voice, wanting to give Severus a smack on the head, "You know its not the same thing Sev! I mean, a lot of this stuff could put you in Azkaban if used wrongly!"

Severus shrugged nonchalantly, saying with a small whine, "But its so much fun to read Lily! I mean, this one here..." He flipped back a few pages, then continued brightly, smirking mischievously "...Makes the target obsessed with a topic of your choice. Imagine making Black being obsessed with make-up or something!"

Lily had to fight to hold back a smile, picturing Sirius Black, playboy of Hogwarts, all 'gussied up'. Pausing for a moment, she then said, trying to keep her sternness, "Severus Tobias Snape! Causing insanity in people is considered mad and evil for a reason you know..."

The two of them then heard Potter yelling over to them, "Ooh! How's Snivellus and his girlfriend doing? Making out in the common room? I think I might be sick...!"

_Lily-prime was surprised that James had kept up with that particular insult as, by this time in her time-line, Potter had 'started to go green with envy every time Snivellus and Lily were mentioned together in the same sentence'; she wondered what had caused this change..._

Both of them blushing, Lily gave Potter a one-finger salute, then shouted in a heated anger, "Drop dead Potter!"

Severus then grinned wickedly, having thought of an idea, thanks to Potter's little remark; making a moment to thank him later, preferably with his _levicorpus_ spell, Severus then waited until after Potter had vanished upstairs to the boys dormitories before he said, "OK, OK. Lily, let's consider, you don't want me reading any Dark Arts books, right?"

Wary and expecting a trick, as this was Severus after all, Lily nodded and said carefully, "Yeah, that sounds about right..."

Severus then said, smiling even more evilly, giving Lily the impression of being a rat in a cat's eyesight, "I might be willing to do so, but consider this... Everyone has their...unsavory habits, right?"

Lily's 'this is a Severus trap' meter just hit code red, but she nodded, waiting for him to pop his trap while trying to be ready for anything. Severus then shrugged, before saying, "Well, my 'unsavory habit' is reading books on Dark Magic in the common room, not necessarily using... Potter on the other hand, prefers to read pornography, and watch the portable pensieve versions... Now, ask yourself, which habit would you prefer me to have? As I could ask him I-"

Lily, redder than a tomato at this point in sheer embarrassment, plus completely squicked by the thought of Potter...making use of those materials then said, "OK, you made your point! Just...ew! Don't talk about Potter and...that in the same sentence. In fact, don't ever mention him again! Because...EW! Keep your cruddy Dark Arts books, just...ARGH! Black obsessed with make-up is gross, but that is just plain wrong!"

Severus, rather red-faced himself, smirked before saying with a hint of satisfaction audible in his voice, "I'm glad to see that we are on the same page Lily..."

He was clearly about to turn back to his book, but Lily then said commandingly, grabbing his arm and pulling him to his feet, "Ah, ah, ah! I may be willing to let you READ those books, but today you are going swimming with me, Mary and Alice, no questions asked! Understood!?"

As she started to drag him out of the common room, Severus considered arguing, but the idea of seeing Lily in a swimsuit was...rather appealing. As such, he only moaned and complained a little as she dragged him out the portrait-hole and down the stairs...

_Lily-prime was almost equally red-faced as her other self at the subject that Severus had mentioned, but she had to restrain a fair quantity of giggles at the thought of the Severus she had known joking with her about pornography of all things... He had always been one of the most reserved people she had ever known for a good reason after all..._

* * *

_More time passed, and Lily-prime watched the changes that were made in the time-line with a great deal of interest. Some of them were not too surprising, but others were mind-boggling, such as the time that she saw James unabashedly making out with Alice in the broom-closet in the Gryffindor Common Room. _

_They went through fifth-year and the O.W.L.s where to Lily-prime's surprise, there was no Shrieking Shack incident, although maybe it wasn't too surprising considering that Remus and Severus were fairly good acquaintances. After all, that would mean that Severus would have no real interest in spying on him. __Speaking of which..._

_'I have to admit that the aftermath of that incident was FAR from one of my better moments, but I was so annoyed at him about those boys that I wasn't in the mood to entertain his theories right then, still though...' The time-line suddenly slowed down however, and Lily-prime focused on that instead..._

Lily was getting very annoyed, as Potter and his mates had spread the 'Severus' girlfriend' label throughout pretty much all of Hogwarts. While she couldn't honestly say that she was uninterested in the idea per se, as she frankly found Severus to be quite fascinating. He seemed to have something like twenty or so different layers, and she had only made it to layer ten or so, with her very interested in pushing deeper.

While he wasn't the most open person, Lily could always trust him to have her best interests at heart, and he was always intriguing and thoughtful, which made her enjoy spending time with him a lot. 'In fact, I think that one of the reasons that Jason broke up with me was because 'You spend more time with him in one day than you spent with me all of last month!'. Of course, it probably would have happened in the long run anyway...'

No, the problem wasn't that she wasn't uninterested in the idea of dating Severus; instead, it was that they WEREN'T dating, and she couldn't get a date from anyone else because she was 'dating Severus'. Speaking of whom, when she spotted him sitting outside by one of the trees overlooking the lake, she marched over to him having decided that this had gone on long enough and the rumors would end one way or another.

Severus, seeing an angry Lily approaching him, gulped as he shakily motioned at the spot next to him. However, she elected to stand in front of him instead. Figuring that he was in for it, Severus closed his book after marking the page with one of his favorite color-coded bookmarks. He then waited for her to speak, something that she started doing immediately, very loudly indeed...

_Lily-prime's eyebrows rose to the top of her head as her alter-ego started ranting at the top of her lungs about Potter's evil, how she couldn't get anyone to go to Hogsmeade for Valentine's Day, and how she and Severus' being a couple was killing all of her dating prospects. She could remember some of her own rants, and had to give Severus credit that, in this time-line and the past one, he had always listened attentively to them, even if he frequently disagreed with her conclusions, as she could clearly rant for quite a while..._

Severus' eyebrows threatened to become one with his hair as Lily came to a close, breathing heavily as she pointed a finger threateningly at him, "...So you have to take responsibility, S-Severus, got it!? I need you to either ask me on a date or 'break up' with me so I can find another one, as I am NOT going to Hogsmeade dateless this Valentine's Day!"

Severus was rather speechless for a moment, as he had been planning out how to ask Lily out since about this time in their fourth-year, but he hadn't ever really found the right moment to do so. Also, there was the fact that since fifth-year she frequently had a boyfriend at the time already. Lily had always been a bit...flighty when it came to romance, getting crushes very, very easily, and Severus' fear of losing her friendship had always put a damper on his plans to win her...

Needless to say though, her REQUIRING him to ask her out was the sort of 'right moment' he had always dreamed of, making him want to thank some divine being for the lucky break he had received. 'Wait a minute, why am I thinking about this to myself? I should be asking her OUT!'

Nearly a minute passed, during which Lily bit her lip, unsure what Severus was going to say. However, he then said in a rather embarrassed tone of voice, blushing as he did so, "Lily Evans, would you do me the honor of being my date to Hogsmeade this Valentine's day?"

Grinning like a loon, Lily nodded while barely stopping herself from squealing in glee. She then hugged him tightly as she said gleefully, "Sev, I'm glad you asked! Now then, mind giving me some room?"

Severus shrugged as he tried to hide his smile, then moved over a few feet, before transfiguring a nearby log into a blanket. This gave them something for for the two of them to sit on. Within about two seconds of it hitting the ground, Lily was sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with him, causing him to hide his smile with his hair which was something which she found rather endearing...

* * *

_More time passed and not completely to Lily-prime's surprise, her alter-ego and Severus seemed to get closer and closer by the day, although it was rather different from what Lily-prime recalled of her relationship with James. James had always been sweet and romance-novel romantic, two adjectives which would probably apply to Severus about the time that Voldemort decided to take up tap-dancing as a hobby._

_However, Severus was, while not the flowers-and-chocolate type by any means, romantic in his own way. He made sure that he was always doing things that interested the both of them, such as their first official date after the Hogsmeade one, where he took her to see a History of Charms Museum. H__er alter-ego had clearly enjoyed herself greatly, being just as fascinated as Lily-prime in Charms, before giving him a very nice kiss for his troubles.__This caused him to blush, and her counterpart to laugh in amusement at his blushing._

_However, Severus certainly enjoyed how she then started kissing him a few more times to see him blush some more, that was her excuse at least. As the time-line slowed down, Lily saw that they had moved in together soon after Hogwarts..._

"Lily! Where did my boxes of books go!?" Severus called out, looking desperately for his Dark Arts books, which he had been very careful in packing indeed. He had even gone so far as to go to a Muggle packaging company and pay a fair sum of money to get the proper packaging material for all of them, even though he was only apparating them one time. Frankly, he was utterly terrified that something might have happened to them.

Lily shouted back, looking around quickly, "Ugh...Sev! Did you leave them at the school!? Wait a minute!" She shouted, noticing another few boxes in an area she hadn't looked yet, "Here they are!"

Although not exactly thrilled at her boyfriend's love of the Dark Arts, at least he was using it for a very good cause. 'Besides, I suppose that just LEARNING about them isn't that bad of a 'unsavory habit', in comparison to some others. Heck, it beats a Quidditch obsession... At least he is learning something, even if it is Dark Magic...'

_Lily-prime found it to be quite interesting how accepting that her alter-ego had become of Severus' love of the Dark Arts, but she supposed that considering that it was highly unlikely he would join the Death Eaters, it had seemed to be a much less important issue..._

At Lily's yell, he had come running at full speed. He panted slightly while looking at them with vast relief, causing Lily to tease him with a squeeze of the ear and a growling voice, "Huh, based on this reaction, I'm starting to think that I have some competition as your girlfriend, Sev..."

Severus flushed, then muttered bashfully, just barely audibly, "Lily, You have no competition..."

Lily grinned, then gave him a quick kiss for his efforts, before saying with a bit more seriousness, "Sev, I have good news and bad news: the good news is that Alice has sent us invitations to her wedding, bad news is that it is to his royal arrogance, Potter..."

Severus sighed, muttering something about Alice clearly having bad taste in men which caused Lily to laugh uproariously, before saying mischieviously, "You know, Sev, you had better make sure that when you propose, you make it better than Alice's proposal; when Potter proposed, he did it on a cruise ship during a storm, and almost lost the ring in the winds..."

Rolling his eyes, Severus said with a touch of dryness, "Lily, It would be hard NOT to be better than that one I suppose. Still though, I will have to at least make a bit of an effort, for appearence's sake..."

* * *

_Lily-prime continued watching as time sped up again, with her and Severus getting married no more than a few months after moving in together; both of them had elected to fight against Voldemort and his forces, with both joining the Order of the Phoenix and her being an Auror and him an Unspeakable. _

_Interestingly enough, Severus was very effective at his job, which was devoted to researching new spells for use by the Ministry. Still, Lily-prime couldn't say that she was THAT surprised, considering his invention of_ Levicorpus_ and _Sectumsempra _during his school years. One of his invented spells was extremely effective at dealing with the undead, creating a bubble wherein Inferi would have the Dark Magic used to move their bones ripped from them, making them far less effective once the spell had been learned by enough people. _

_Still, like the war in the original time-line, it was a very brutal battle to defeat the Dark Lord indeed..._

Severus frowned as he continued his research, rubbing his eyes and wondering if he would make it home in time to eat takeout that Lily sometimes brought home or if he would have to cook for himself, then he frowned. Something about his research into the 'Dark Mark' that the Ministry had found on the Death Eaters was bothering him, and he felt that he might be on the edge of a breakthrough, if only he knew what it was... 'It had something to do with...'

"Severus, any luck?" The voice of his coworker, Augustus Rookwood made itself known to him.

Severus sighed, as Rookwood wasn't one of his favorite department members, being a little too...purebloodish for his taste in spite of Rookwood's popularity amongst the staff. Severus suspected that he didn't like the fact that Severus had married a Muggleborn, and the man reminded him far too much of James Potter. Still, he had to say something, "Not really, Augustus. How are things going with you?"

The man smiled slightly, then said proudly, "My cousin, Narcissa Malfoy, just gave birth to her first kid, Draco. He seems to be rather rowdy for his age, but blood will tell I expect, just like with any Malfoy. Maybe he will be like his mom, or at least, I hope he will. I can't say I like his dad too much... Anyway, I heard Draco just got the trace put on him yesterday..."

Severus frowned, then waited as Rookwood left, as he felt that he was missing something...something that he could use with this new information he had received about the 'Dark Mark'... Detachedly, he wondered if he would be expected to give Draco anything, as the trace... Severus' eyes widened, then he shouted aloud, "I'VE GOT IT! I am a GENIUS!"

* * *

_As Lily watched, Severus' idea came into effect; after a quick test with a prisoner in Azkaban, he found that since the Death Eaters all shared the 'Dark Mark', it was possible to segregate them from the general population magically. His idea was quite simple and ingenious: deactivate the trace on all wizards and witches in England, then reactivate it on only those who bore the Dark Mark. _

_Lily was surprised that it was that simple, but that simple idea solved a LOT of the Ministry's problems in dealing with Voldemort, as it had always had the NUMBERS to fight his Death Eaters but had needed to spread them out too much. Now however, the Ministry no longer had to worry about warrants, nor where the Death Eaters were hiding. Instead, they could now switch to seek and destroy tactics, causing the tide of the war to quickly turn against the Death Eaters... In the end, in spite of all of the efforts of the Death Eaters, Dumbledore killed Voldemort in the final battle..._

Lily grinned sensually at her husband, who was relaxing in the afterglow of a rather good romp in the sack, then whispered to him delightedly while placing her lips to his ear, "You know Sev, I think that we have a few things to take care of now..."

Raising his eyebrows as he opened his eyes, Severus asked groggily, "What things? I think we did just about all the things I can possibly imagine, and I am too tired for the rest..."

Giggling, Lily swatted him, then whispered again in a near-purr, "I have to ask, what do you think of Rose?"

Frowning, Severus said, clearly bewildered, "Um, I don't recall you mentioning a Rose..."

In response, Lily said while pulling his right hand towards her abdomen at the same time, biting her lip slightly as she did so,"I think that you will be meeting her pretty soon, in about seven months or so..."

Severus' eyes widened, and his frown vanished in an instant, before ending in a clearly delighted expression...

_The mirror then went dark again and Lily-prime frowned, as, while it was a nice time-line to watch, she had to wonder what it had been chosen for her for. Although she had sometimes considered Severus as romantic material before their split-up in the original time-line, why was it the first type of time-line chosen...? Unsure, she decided to think it over some more..._

**Side-notes to the story: **Severus may seem a bit out of character, as he is far more...geekish than he was in canon, but I believe that this is explained by the fact that he has several REAL friends, and all of them are girls, which would have a certain effect upon his behavior. As for the events in Snape's worst memory, they happened, but when Lily saw them, she wasted no time before letting a barrage of hexes rip, rather than even bothering to persuade the Marauders to quit it.

If you are wondering why James expressed no real interest in Lily, its because, rather than insulting Severus for being a Slytherin, he would always do it by teasing him for being a wuss and such, as he had no guy-friends, which dragged Lily into the battle very much, as he would often insult the both of them together, causing his own feud with Lily to escalate far beyond canon levels. First impressions count for a lot, especially when second impressions do nothing to change them...

**Author's Note: **Keep in mind when suggesting new ideas that the change must be something that Lily could have done in the original time-line; while I love reading AU a lot, that isn't what this fic is about.

YOU, the readers will get to vote on which differences at key points in the time-line she sees, as well as suggest other changes she could have made. I won't update this fic too often, as I want to give plenty of time for voting and suggestions.

IN ORDER TO VOTE: Select one or more of the possibilities listed, and include them in either a Review, a PM, or an E-mail. You may vote for as many possibilities as you like, but only once for each possibility.

IN ORDER TO POST A NEW SUGGESTION: List the choice that Lily could have made, and your reasoning, and include it in either a Review, a PM, or an E-mail.

ALL SUGGESTED POSSIBILITIES MUST HAVE BEEN ABLE TO OCCUR IN CANON, AND THEY MUST BE DIFFERENCES IN **_LILY'S_** CHOICES. For example, having James be just a little too late in rescueing Severus during the Werewolf prank is not an option, as Lily didn't make that choice, but having her decide to kiss him once in fifth year, just to see what it would be like, is.

In spite of the listed pairing, not all of the lives she views will have Severus and Lily paired together in the end, although a majority will.

Here is the current list of ideas, and vote tallys:

Lily decides to kiss Severus once in fifth year, just to see what kissing is like. 2

Outside the portrait hole, when Severus goes up to apologize to Lily, she presses him until he has to answer one way or another, rather than just heading back to her dormitory in disgust. 2

When Severus hints to Lily about Lupin in fourth year, in connection to James' 'heroics', Lily gets curious about the possibility of him being a werewolf rather than dismissing Severus' concerns. 1

When Lily tells Severus off about his friends in fourth year, she attempts to use concrete examples to prove that they are as bad, or worse than, the Marauders. 1

Rather than almost smiling one time during the incident by the lake, Lily doesn't even get amused at all. 1

After Sev tells her she's a witch, instead of running off with Petunia, she should stay and prod him for further proof. 1

What if she and James had kept Sirius as their secret keeper? 1

What if Lily actually hexed James and the other Marauders, instead of just yelling at them all the time? 1

In Seventh-year, Lily had come accross the Marauders as they are bullying Severus, after they had 'changed'. 0

**FEEL FREE TO OFFER MORE! ALSO, FEEL FREE TO USE THEM YOURSELF!**

**Edited 8/09/09**


	3. Too Late Yet Not

**What if? The Purgatory of Lily**

**Chapter 3**

**Too Late Yet Not**

_In life, I wanted to have him but couldn't, in death, I can have him forever..._

**_Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series._**

As the mirror of Fi-Tahw returned to its normal level of glowing, Lily considered what she had seen; while it had been interesting to see her relationship with Severus progress to a clearly happy marriage, it wasn't all that surprising considering that he was in Gryffindor in that time-line. 'After all, one of the biggest things that scared me away from pursuing a relationship with him was the fact that he was so interested in joining the Death Eaters. With Severus being a Gryffindor, it isn't that big of a surprise that I ended up dating and marrying him, as he would have had no evil friends to bring him down.'

Lily then considered the actions of James in that time-line. 'Interestingly enough, in that time-line it looks like James only went after Severus and I, leaving everyone else alone, although I think he hit us about twice as hard to make up for it, understandable considering we gave as good as we got; frankly, I am surprised that, with such a small difference in the time-line, he went after me as well as Severus, considering how he fell so hard for me in the original time-line. What is particularly surprising however is the fact that James kept trying to attack him even though he was a Gryffindor and had no interest in the Death Eaters, especially because of how he told me in seventh-year that he had only attacked Severus because he was a future Death Eater, and, after he had realized how important our friendship had been to me, he had decided to stop...'

Unsure what to make of it, and not willing to draw any conclusions from a time-line where the change had occured so early in her life, Lily decided to take a look at the next time-line, pressing her hand to the glass, watching as it flashed brightly, before reforming into a scene that she remembered seeing many times before in her seventh-year, especially after a date with James...

* * *

"So Lily, what did you think of that? I'll bet that you didn't know that the house-elves could do anything like that..."

Lily Evans hid a smile; James, in order to help her take her mind off of N.E.W.T.s, had taken her to the kitchens, where he had had the house-elves prepare them a romantic candlelit dinner. Although normally she enjoyed spending her evening with a good book or, sometimes, hanging out with her girlfriends, it wasn't half bad. Chuckling, she said, "Well James, I suppose that it was pretty nice after all. I may keep you just yet..."

Grinning at her, he held her hand and the two of them walked back to Gryffindor tower hand-in-hand under his invisibility cloak, where they saw Sirius and Peter standing there with a pair of smirk, looking at what appeared to be a bit of parchment. Seeing James and Lily, they smiled and Sirius said, laughing, "So...How is the happy couple doing? Did you have a nice evening emasculating our beloved leader?"

James laughed, then gave him a cuff on the shoulder for his cheek, but Lily said, "Well, I suppose it didn't go too badly; I suppose that there may be hope for Mr. Potter yet."

_Lily-prime smiled softly, remembering this scene; based on the hairstyle that Mary, who was standing over in the corner, was wearing, it was probably just after Christmas, given how, a few weeks after she got the style, Mulciber had set her hair on fire. At that point she had been dating James for nearly four months. Although she had hated how he had acted all the way into sixth year, she had been very impressed at how he had changed his ways, even stopping the Marauders' bullying of Severus once he had found out how important he had been to her, in spite of the fact that he regularly insulted them. The fact that he had done this without her having to ask him had really impressed her..._

Sirius then nudged James before shoving the parchment, probably an essay, in his face, before whining aloud, "Aw, you selfish berks! You forgot to get me anything! Now I'M going to have to go hungry..."

James rolled his eyes, but said with a sigh, "Ugh, I guess that we will have to get you something too. OI! Anyone else want anything from the kitchens!?"

Several people called out their requests for orders, as Lily rolled her eyes, before heading up to the girls' dormitories to grab one of her Potions textbooks, as they had double Potions with the Slytherins tomorrow, and there was NO WAY that she was going to let Severus show her up. Coming back down, she waited in the common room for the Marauders, who, minus Lupin, had left under Potter's invisibility cloak for the kitchen to get refreshments for Gryffindor house. Lily was studying Veritaserum as, although it had been on the sixth-year syllabus, she had a few ideas for it that were sure to get Slughorn's attention...

About an hour later, the Marauders returned with the requested food, with Sirius shouting, "We have gone down into the depths of the cold, dark castle, and return to bring you our booty! ENJOY THE BOOTY!"

Everyone chuckled at that, even Lily, but she then frowned, as she was surprised that it had taken them a full hour to get down to the kitchens and back...

_'Now that I think about it, I wonder why it sometimes took them so long to get back when they went to the kitchens...'_

* * *

_Several weeks passed, and Lily-prime watched as her counterpart was becoming more and more suspicious by the day; Lily-prime was starting to get rather curious herself as, now that she thought about it, the Marauders always seemed to go out at least once a week for an hour or so, then come back grinning; when she herself had asked about it, they had always said that it was 'Marauder business'. Lily-prime watched until, one day, her counterpart found a way to find out what they were up to..._

Lily smiled slightly in the Gryffindor Common Room, enjoying herself as she tried to think of a way to figure out what this 'Marauder business' was; it wasn't so much that she distrusted them, as it was fun to figure out what four teenage boys might be up to after curfew. When she had mentioned it to some of her friends, they had suggested that perhaps they were secretly going out on the grounds for Quidditch practice, and that was why Gryffindor always won. It certainly made sense, but Lily personally thought that they went out to have time for some 'guy talk', and maybe prank a couple of the teachers, for, although the Marauders had stopped pranking their fellow students, save for pranks that were funny rather than humiliating, they certainly liked playing practical jokes on the teachers...

'OK, I could use something along the lines of a Muggle recording device, but those are usually far too big to be useful. Besides, Muggle devices don't work in Hogwarts... Maybe there is a magical variant though; that would certainly be convenient...'

Frowning, Lily thought of all of the ways that she knew of to tail someone in the wizarding world, then decided that most of them would be basically a waste of time, considering James' invisibility cloak. Even for the rest of them, she wasn't willing to risk getting detention for a game like this, so direct tailing was out. 'Ugh, I wish that James would just tell me what this 'Marauder business' means! Whatever it is, I'm sure that we can get through it if its bad...'

She considered just asking him again, nagging him until he broke down, but decided against it, as it would be more fun to figure it out on her own. 'Besides, just look at where nagging got me last time...it didn't do a lick of good stopping Severus from drifting away from me, so why should it work now?'

Suddenly, Peter walked in, holding Mary Macdonald, who was bleeding from a wound to her face, by her right arm; gasping, Lily ran over and helped her into a nearby armchair, asking, "What happened Mary?"

Grabbing a nearby sheet of parchment and transfiguring it into a bandage, Mary wrapped it around her wound before saying moodily, "It was Mulciber, Avery and Snape again. Mulciber and Avery hexed me a few times, before a Prefect called them off, while Snape just stood there in the corner, chuckling..."

James, who was suddenly nearby, said softly, "Mary, that's awful, are you OK?"

Snorting, Mary asked furiously, "Let's see, I get slammed into a wall a couple of times, a gash hexed onto my forehead, and was probably on my way to the hospital wing, when a Prefect showed up. DOES IT SOUND LIKE I'M FINE!?"

Sirius, who had followed James over, laughed a little, "You know Prongs, she does have a bit of a point. I mean, OUCH!" Sirius yelped as James stomped on his right foot, before whistling innocently.

Meanwhile, Peter, who was glancing at a bit of parchment, then said, "Hey Prongs, I'm thinking that we could use a bit of steak, you know, to help her feel better, what do you think?"

James, whirling, was clearly about to argue, when he saw the parchment that Peter was holding, then he grinned, saying, "I quite agree Wormtail. Padfoot, let's get going!"

Mary and Lily only looked at each other confused, wondering what the boys were up to...

_Lily-prime was confused as well; what would steak help Mary with? From what Lily recalled, she didn't even care for the meat that much..._

At first, Lily was too busy taking care of Mary to care much about what the Marauders were up to, but after a bit, she started to think, wondering just why they would bother to pick up some meat when Mary was in trouble, unless it was some kind of revenge prank. About an hour and a half after they left, James and the rest of the Marauders, minus Lupin, as he hadn't gone, returned. Lily looked them over carefully, trying to see if she could find some sort of clues as to what they were up to, then froze; on the right sleeve of James' robes, there was a rather large spot of blood, nearly two inches across, and they had apparently forgotten the steak. Before she could think, James and the rest of the Marauders had already gone up to their dormitories, leaving Lily to think...

'OK, now that is truly strange; I doubt that he would have had blood on the outside of his sleeve without knowing it, so that means that it must have been from someone else...' Lily's eyes started to fill with tears as the implications of that hit her. '...That much blood from someone else...That doesn't come from a small cut...' Her tears began to trickle down her face. '...He told me he changed...'

Swallowing, she walked up to the Boys' Dormitories with a heavy heart to confront her boyfriend...

_'He did, didn't he? Didn't he change?' Lily-prime could only continue watching the time-line for more answers..._

* * *

_As Lily-prime watched, her counterpart confronted James later that night, whereupon, under pressure, he admitted that he hadn't stopped his hexing of Severus at all, and that he had been doing it for some months. For several weeks after that night, the couple had been on the rocks, but eventually James had gotten Lily to forgive him, after a great deal of begging on his part, with the certainty that if he so muched as touched a hair on anyone's head until graduation, he would be dumped immediately, without mercy. 'Was this the case in my previous time-line as well? How long did he lie to me about that?' _

Lily frowned as she watched Severus sitting by a tree near the lake; even after the end of their friendship, she had tried to keep tabs on him, and she had noticed something odd about him lately. While he hadn't stopped being friends with Mulciber or Avery by any means, he seemed to have started spending more time like he had when they first arrived at Hogwarts, curled up reading a book, or on his own simply practicing his spell-work or inventing new spells, not all of them dark. It was the same sort of thing he had done with her, but he was doing alone now; it seemed rather sad, and it was almost like he was reenacting a scene from a play, but with one less player in it.

As strange as all that was, the strangest thing that she had heard, or rather, not heard, was the fact that no-one could recall the last time that they had seen him with Avery or Mulciber when they were bullying someone, and the word 'Mudblood' hadn't crossed his lips...since the end of fifth year if she wasn't mistaken. 'Its like, now that we are no longer friends, he is being the same sort of person that I had always wanted him to be before our falling out. I mean, sure, he is still friends with Avery and Mulciber, but, other than that, its like he's returned to being my Severus again. The reasons I gave him for ending our frienship...They aren't valid anymore are they?'

_Reading her counterpart's thoughts, Lily-prime was rather surprised at what a difference had already occured; although Severus had never contributed directly in the pranks, he had always made sure that he was close by Mulciber and Avery, and frequently laughed along with them. 'When I think of it, he was in many ways a Dark-side version of Remus...'_

Biting her lip, Lily considered whether or not to go up to him and ask him if he wanted to be friends anymore; she had to admit that SHE certainly wouldn't mind being his friend again, but he had appeared to be pained everytime they crossed paths after their falling out. 'I don't know...Can I do this?' She pictured him rejecting her just as painfully as she did him, and it scared her, but she then remembered how, back when they were kids, he had jumped out of the bushes in the effort to be her friend, even though, as he told her later, he had been scared out of his wits.

'If he can do it, then so can I!' And with that, Lily Evans walked straight up to the boy who, merely two years ago, she had considered to be her best friend, and said softly, "Hey there, Severus. Would you mind if I sat down?"

For a moment he seemed astonished that she would even ask him that, and she began to regret asking, but then he said, "Uh, go right ahead, Lily."

As Lily slowly sat down beside him, Severus was thinking quietly to himself, 'OK, this is the first time that, in over a year, she has shown any interest in coming within ten feet of you for anything besides academic purposes; do NOT mess this up, for Merlin's sake!' Swallowing, Severus said nervously,

"Uh, how have you been doing, Lily?"

Lily didn't know how to answer this, so she blurted, blushing from embarrassment as she did so, "You've changed, Severus; you stopped helping Avery and Mulciber bully anyone, you've been spending less time with them in general, and you seem to have stopped acting...the way you were acting. Why?"

Severus, surprised that she would ask such a question so quickly, went beet-red from embarrassment, then said heatedly, "Uh, uh...nevermind!" But Lily distinctly heard him mumble something about 'Potter'. Still, she didn't push it.

_Lily-prime was surprised, and a little disappointed that she hadn't been able to read Severus' thoughts at that moment, but she continued watching, interested in seeing how things would play out..._

Both embarrassed, neither said anything for a few minutes, until Severus slowly slid one of his books over to her, an advanced text on Defense Against the Dark Arts, then scooted over a little closer to her and started reading. She took this as what she suspected it was, an offer of his friendship again and, beaming, said nothing, but started reading herself. 'I just hope he doesn't mind what I have to tell him about the engagement...'

Even though they had been in a bit of a rough patch, she and James had recovered from it, and he had proposed to her just last night, much to her happiness...

* * *

_Much as her counterpart had anticipated, Severus and her had a few major rows about her engagement with James, but in the end, although still clearly furious about it, Severus conceded that it WAS up to Lily whether or not to marry him, and he wasn't all THAT bad. Lily-prime watched as, to her surprise, her counterpart's friendship with Severus seemed to have mostly been restored by the time that N.E.W.T.s were done..._

It was the last day of his seven years at Hogwarts, and Severus was carefully considering the two letters beside him, one on the left and the other on the right; both of these letters would offer him great opportunities, one was an apprenticeship with a major potioneer, and the other was what he had been hoping for for practically the last four years. the second letter contained an invitation to a ceremony, wherein he would finally, at long last, become a Death Eater.

Ever since about third year, he had been dreaming of the day that he would put on that mask and become a Death Eater; it wasn't particularly about the Dark Lord's political agenda, so much as it was about achieving his own aims: by becoming a Death Eater, he could finally make something of himself, something that everyone had said would be impossible for him. He could gain skill, prestige, power, and the only thing he had had left for him after Lily had given up on him, vengeance upon those who had wronged him.

After spending years being tormented by Potter, Black, Pettigrew and, to a lesser extent, Lupin, he would finally have the chance to turn the tables on them, making THEM suffer, making THEM cry out in agony, and finally, making them DIE for all the pain they had caused him, and make all those who had mocked him SUFFER as he did, such as those friends of Lily who had always made fun of him...

_Lily-prime considered it quite fascinating to be able to see the reasons that Severus had always been interested in the Death Eaters, and, assuming that what this bloody mirror was showing was the truth, she couldn't deny that his reasons were understandable...Still, she couldn't agree with the choices he was clearly about to make..._

By taking the Dark Mark and becoming a Death Eater, he could finally obtain all of his dreams that he had dreamed for the past several years, save one. 'However...Do I really need those things anymore?'

_'Huh?'_

It was an odd thought, but, after Potter had stopped attacking him, finally showing Severus that he had actually improved to some extent, like everyone else had claimed he had, Severus had stopped hanging around Avery and Mulciber quite as much, as he no longer needed them as 'passive obstacles' in order to keep Potter from attacking him, and, when he had gotten the opportunity to watch Mulciber and Avery 'having fun', it was no longer particularly satisfying, as even someone as awful as POTTER had showed him mercy, making him feel like he was worse than his sworn enemy, so he stopped helping them in any way, even discreetly telling a prefect one time.

Then, after almost two years of trying to avoid him, Lily had suddenly came back into his life one day, clearly willing to be friends, even if she had grown far less intelligent than before, being interested in POTTER of all people. Still, considering that, for no apparent reason other than his own guilt, or maybe Lily's asking him to, Potter had given up on his little 'pranks', which Severus considered, in Muggle terms, worthy of charges of Assault, which meant that he couldn't be completely awful. To be quite frank, Severus was no longer particularly interested in actually going the distance to actually claim his revenge, when he could do it far more artfully now, as Potter and his friends were far weaker on the battlefield of words than he would ever be...

'No, I can't say that I am particularly interested in revenge anymore, and although the Potion's apprenticeship offers much less in the way of prestige and power...I would honestly be more interested in revenge upon my house-mates for how they have now started hexing Lily than I would be in getting revenge on Potter now...' Although it was a tough decision still, Severus considered himself fairly certain in it, even if he had some hesitation still. He then thought of the last factor he had yet to consider; upon doing so, he immediately fired an _incendio _at the letter containing the Dark Lord's offer, knowing he would not regret his decision, not even slightly.

He was not going to lose Lily's friendship again, not for anything...

_'Interesting, very interesting. It makes me wonder what would have happened if we HAD actually stayed friends after the incident by the lake. Would this outcome have occured? Or would we have been doomed regardless?'_

* * *

_Time passed, and Lily-prime watched as 'her' wedding to James Potter occured again, basically the same way as it had in her time-line, at the church she had always gone to as a little girl, in the late summer. It was beautiful and, just like her wedding, he had spared no expense on it; everyone at the church was crying, save for Severus. However, he looked like he was swallowing molten lead as he walked her counterpart down the aisle, as he was the closest male to the bride now that her father was dead, as James had pointed out. He had glowered at the groom even as he passed her over, which James had replied to with a bit of a triumphant smirk. More time passed, more or less identically to the original time-line, save for the fact that, whenever James was out with his Marauder friends, she was typically sitting next to Severus, reading a good book, or discussing topics that ran from Philosophy to Charms or Potions..._

"...I think that we should go with Sirius, Lily dear. I mean, he's smart, tough, and knows how to get out of a difficult situation in a pinch. He is, quite frankly, the obvious choice."

Lily and James were arguing about who was to be their secret keeper; apparently, purely by chance, one of the Death Eaters had been posted at the Hog's Head when Dumbledore had heard a prophecy. James, as could easily be imagined, wanted his best friend, Sirius, as their Secret Keeper for the Fidelius Charm that Dumbledore was putting upon their little house in Godric's Hollow, however...

Lily rolled her eyes, saying sourly, "James, the only problem with that is the fact that, as you said, 'He is the obvious choice'. The Death Eaters will simply target him, and, while he won't betray us, even under torture, I am sure, what if they were to use Veritaserum or something? Sev mentioned that You-Know-Who can even use Leglimency to read minds to some extent; what if they simply read his mind for the secret? Its not like Sirius is that good at hiding stuff anyway...'

Growling, James turned his head, muttering, "OK then, what is your suggestion?"

Lily smirked, then said mischieviously, "Severus."

_Lily-prime remembered this conversation perfectly, and it had been an argument that had kept going on for months, as she had no real alternatives to Sirius, save for Remus, who they suspected of being a traitor, and Pettigrew, who was a bit of a wimp and had turned out to be the real traitor. Apparently, with Severus as her friend, her counterpart had an alternative that even Lily-prime had to admit was an excellent one, however she suspected that James would likely be harder to persuade..._

James' eyes widened for a moment, then he exploded, pacing angrily around the room as he shouted, "There is absolutely NO WAY that I am going to trust MY life to that greasy git! If it came down to him or me, I KNOW that he would happily throw me under a bus, and you know it too! He might not be thinking about joining the Death Eaters anymore, but that doesn't mean that I am willing to put my life in his hands!"

Lily only smiled, then said, "You just proved my point, James. No-one would ever think you to be 'foolish' enough to put your hands into the life of the man who was your worst enemy in school, and vice-versa, but don't forget, there are more people he would be protecting than just you. He would be protecting Harry and I as well, and you've seen how well he gets along with Harry, haven't you? I mean, he spends more time taking care of Harry than you or I do, considering our jobs and the order, and..." She swallowed, blushing as she looked away, continuing slowly,"...He does love me you know. I would be thrilled to trust Harry's life or my own in his hands, and he can't give up your life without risking ours as well..."

She then started speaking more quickly, "Ignoring the fact that he is probably the last one the Death Eaters would check, he told me that he would be fine with going into hiding, especially because he's started brewing potions for the order. Also, with his Occlumency as good as it is, neither veritaserum nor even the Dark Lord would be able to make him give them the knowledge of where we are. Really, its all but perfect..."

As she said this, Lily remembered an incident that had taken place two months ago: Severus had been taking care of Harry at his potion's lab, which he had received from his master for excellent service, and because his master had died of old age, when Harry, playing in the corner, had found a rat hiding. Harry had tried to go over and play with the rat, but Severus had noticed and, scared Harry getting bitten, he missed a crucial step in an extremely volatile potion, causing it to explode, which caused a chain reaction, blowing up the entire laboratory.

When Lily had arrived later, called by Severus' Patronus, she had found Severus, unconscious, with his arms wrapped around her son; he had received several broken ribs and his legs had been all but pulverised, requiring a Skele-Grow treatment. 'When he woke up later though, his first question was: 'Is Harry alright?'. If I can't trust him to protect Harry after that, I can't trust anyone...'

_

* * *

_

It had taken a few months, but, in October, her counterpart had finally managed to persuade James to let her switch Secret Keepership over to Severus, where it remained until the end of the war. Unable to find their home, Voldemort had, in the end, decided to attack the Longbottoms, who had apparently impressed him so greatly with their ability in the war that he actually offered them the chance to duel for their lives. Frank Longbottom accepted, and was defeated in a matter of seconds, but Alice had declined, and simply let Voldemort hit her with the killing curse, putting up the same blood charm on her son that Lily-prime had used on Harry, which Dumbledore had taught to them both before they went into hiding as a last resort.

_Time then sped up rapidly, with Lily having another two children within the next five years, a daughter and a son named Rose and Sevilen respectively, the latter name causing James to go into a two-week long snit, as he certainly recognized the first syllables as being shared with his most hated enemy, but Lily felt that she couldn't let Severus' help and friendship go unpaid..._

"Harry, you jerk! Give me back Betty!" Rose shouted as she chased her brother around, who was holding her doll, Betty by name apparently, just out of reach of her.

"Nuh-uh! You can't have her!" Harry put the doll just within reach, but pulled it back over her head when Rose tried to grab it.

"DAD! MAKE HARRY GIVE ME BACK MY DOLLY!" Rose, starting to sniffle, cried toward her father.

"Harry, give your sister back her Dolly." James said without even looking up from his newspaper.

"DAD!" Screamed back Harry.

"Harry..." James tried again.

"NO!"

Severus was chuckling as he watched James Potter deal with his children, or rather, not. It was rather understandable, as Potter had never really had to deal with pranks and pranking himself, plus Severus and Lily had always been nearby to watch them. Although there was no love lost between the two men, they, after Severus had maintained the Fidelius charm for nearly a full year, in hiding himself just for that extra degree of safety, had come to an understanding: 'I leave you alone and you leave me alone, got it?'.

_Lily-prime wondered if James was only like this because Severus had apparently been taking of the kids for the most part, with Lily's help, or if he was just a bit of a poor disciplinarian. Remembering how, as Head Boy, he hadn't really done much to stop any forms of pranking, even after he mended his own ways for real, she suspected it might be the latter._

As much as it amused him to watch James actually having to try and stop somebody from teasing rather than do the teasing himself, Severus felt that someone had to step in and maintain order. Mustering up his, as Lily called it, 'I am the prince, obey me!' aura, he then said coolly, "Harry..."

Harry immediately gulped, then turned, saying nervously, "Yes, Sev..."

Severus leveled the boy with one of his better cold stares, then said, "Return the toy to your sister, now."

Lily had to bite back a chuckle as she watched Severus and her son interract; after the war, his home obliterated by a Death Eater attack, Severus had decided to move next door to their family because 'If I am not nearby, I suspect the neighborhood will not be nearby for very long either, thanks to that dunderhead you call a son!' (The fact that he was only half-heartedly attempting to pry Harry from his leg did a great deal to undermine his statement).

After the move, Severus had constructed a new, bigger Potions laboratory, and had received several medals for his Potions work, which included his alterations to the recipe for the Wolfsbane Potion, which had either removed the more expensive ingrediants, or replaced them with cheaper ones, to the point that it was mass-producable by anyone who could get an N.E.W.T. in Hogwarts. In addition, his improvements to just about every single potion made in Hogwarts had lead to him being one of the wealthiest wizards around, especially after he had published them.

The royalties alone meant that he had had the opportunity, thanks to the fact that James wasn't the best with his money, of rubbing it in James' face that the same Slytherin he had bullied through most of Hogwarts for being a 'poor, greasy git', now had more coming in a month than he would make in a year. To his credit, he had only done this once, but Lily, having been forewarned by Severus, had moving pictures of the look on James' face...

_Although she was very loyal to her husband, dead and in purgatory or not, Lily-prime couldn't suppress a giggle at the thought of the look on James' face if that had actually happened..._

When Severus wasn't in his lab working, he had taken it upon him to spend almost every single free hour of every day spending time with Lily and her children, frequently acting as their babysitter when Lily wanted to take some time to herself, and the children adored him for it, much to his stated displeasure. He had ended up spending so much time with them that, mimicking their mother, all of her and James' children had chosen to call him 'Sev', and Lily sometimes wondered if they even knew what his first name was at all...

James then said, laughing, after Harry had returned the doll to his sister and was now being scolded a bit by Severus, "Lighten up, Snape; he's just excited about going to Diagon Alley today for his school supplies, isn't he?" As Harry nodded eagerly, with Sevilen raising his eyebrows, much like his namesake, James continued, "Ready to get going, Harry?"

As James, acting much like he did when he was Head Boy, tried to help his son escape his scolding on account of the fact that 'it was just a little prank', Severus frowned. Although he wasn't the boy's father biologically, he felt that Lily's children were his children in all the ways that mattered, which Lily had acknowleged several years back by giving him the right to punish them as he saw fit, and he disliked it when James tried to prevent Harry's rightful punishment, even if it was only scolding for taking his sister's doll. Still, it was too late now, so he only said calmly, "Potter, please try to make it so that Harry actually DOES get everything on his list for school supplies..."

Then he heard words that let him know that the odds of this actually happening were somewhere between slim and none, "Don't worry, Snape. I'm meeting Sirius in the Leaky Cauldron. We'll be fine."

As James and Harry had already apparated before Severus could say anything to stop him, Severus whispered into Lily's ear, "What he is actually trying to say is that we are doomed. Do you still have your old school supplies by any chance?"

_'That is the understatement of the century...Even when they are alone they can be a bit foolish sometimes, together the possibilities for madness are unparralleled._

Giggling and blushing slightly at how he was whispering in her ear, Lily said, "I think I have them in the attic somewhere..."

As he smirked, whispering "Lead the way my dear..." in her ear again, Lily had the urge to kiss him, but stifled it...barely...

* * *

_Lily watched, smiling, as more time passed, with all of her children going to Hogwarts and making friends, and Severus remaining her eternal best friend, until one day Voldemort, somehow, returned from death and attempted once more to unleash his genocidal plans upon the world..._

"Lily, it has come to my attention that you have allowed a travesty to occur..." Severus said smoothly.

Lily, frowning, but blushing slightly as she read a book by Severus' side, said, "What do you mean, Sev?"

Shaking his head remorsely, Severus said with mock-sadness as he drew closer to the girl he was sitting beside, pressing his right hand to her stomach and his left behind her head, "I have recently discovered that we haven't taken the time to learn anything in the form of Biology, in particular, the reproductive systems..."

Lily, smiling seductively, then said, "I greatly bemoan this lack of knowledge; please, help me learn more about this, Sev..."

"It would be my pleasure..." Severus said as he kissed her once on the neck and started to draw her shirt up...

"Gah! Not again!" Lily woke up with a start, alone in her bed, then she started giggling madly, saying aloud, "Just great, I take Severus up on his offer of a safe place to hide, and now I am quite UNSAFE from these blasted dreams about him!"

_Lily-prime couldn't stop herself from blushing as well, as she had had more than a few similar dreams of him back when they were teens, as his knowledge had made him attractive to her in some ways..._

Some time ago, now that the war had started in earnest, especially now that the Ministry had fallen, the Death Eaters had come calling at the Potters' residence, luckily when none of them were home. However, their house had become a burning pile of rubble and, even with the Black family money, which had been left to James after Sirius had died in a fight with his cousin Bellatrix, they didn't want to have to live at the Order's headquarters, nor did they have the time to go shopping for a new house. Luckily for them, Severus had offered them his home, which he had hidden with the Fidelius charm, mainly to stop reporters, as a place to live. Unfortunately, with James spending a great deal of time away from the home on 'Order business', Lily had run into a bit of a problem...

'OK, all I need is a nice cold shower, and then to avoid him for a few hours, then everything will be peachy...' Even though she loved James very much, and was very much attracted to him, she had had more than a few dreams and fantasies similar to the one she had just dreamed, even while she was living back at home, and it had only gotten worse now that she was actually living with him. Several times, while they were talking together, like they always did, she had found herself wanting to cross that borderline between best-friendship and best-friend-with-benefits-ship, even though she knew that it was wrong, as she WAS married after all, but that hadn't seemed to bother her libido.

_Lily found it to be rather surprising that, in this time-line, Severus had apparently stayed 'loyal' to his love for long past the point that she would have expected him to find someone else, let alone the fact that he had apparently remained in love with her after she had gotten married and he had accepted that it wasn't to him..._

It was particularly distressing, as she KNEW that he was still in love with her, even after all these years. She knew that because, even though he cared about her children very much for her own sake, part of the reason that he took care of them with all his heart, acting more like their father than James did sometimes, was because he felt that, this way, he was able to act the part of her husband and the father of her children, even if he wasn't biologically their dad or married to her.

Lily knew that she was very attracted to him as well, and, in many ways, in love with him much as she was with James, although for different reasons. James she had fallen in love with because of their commonalities, having realized that they were much the same sometime in sixth and seventh year, and they usually agreed on everything, at least, when it didn't come to pranks or Severus. When she had made her vows to him back in the church of her childhood, she had meant them with all of her heart, and she still did her best to follow them, because she loved him. Really, it would take quite a man to even compete with her love for her husband, but that was what Severus was, quite a man.

She had been starting to fall for Severus during her Fifth year, only for the problems with his friends and the incident by the lake to undo most of it, but, after he had changed in their Seventh year, those feelings had returned with a vengeance, and only deepened as time went on. In contrast to James, who she had been attracted to because of their commonalities, one of the things that had attracted her to Severus the most was their differences, which she had had grown to appreciate more and more; they frequently, even at the age of 37, spent hours each day only arguing and debating their ideas about various topics, such as the ideals of Voldemort and why it attracted so many to his ranks. She also enjoyed simple things like working on a potion or spending time with her children with him, but it was how they ALWAYS had different ideas that intrigued her; whenever they discussed a topic, she felt that she had learned something new and become a better person just for having a simple conversation...

_Lily was rather surprised; when she had dreamed of falling in love and getting married, she had never thought that she would ever find anyone else attractive again, at least, not in any way beyond the old 'oh, he's pretty cute...' that she mentioned to her girlfriends. Yet this counterpart was clearly having great difficulty suppressing her own attraction, even though she had married James and obviously loved him very much..._

"Lily!" She started suddenly, hearing Severus shouting her name; without even thinking about it, she ran downstairs, only to see him firing hexes, stunners, and curses out of the front door, which were responded to with a series of green jets of light. He then said grimly, "We're surrounded, I think that Pettigrew sold us out..."

Shocked, Lily could only ask, "How?"

Severus, after grabbing her and running with her to the spiral staircase that went connected the top floor to the basement, then said, "Because he's out there, with them! I don't think we have much time till they get here..."

Lily looked around, searching for ideas, but, since she had decided to have a career in Potions herself, rather than becoming an Auror, after finding out that they were to be apprenticed to the same Potions-master, and her combat spellwork had deteriorated significantly since her days as an active combatant as a member of the Order, she didn't have any good ideas. As the Death Eaters burst in, Severus then whispered to her, "Go to the window on the fifth floor, then jump. I'll try to buy you some time."

Obeying, she quickly ran up the stairs, as Severus called down the stairs, clearly trying to trick the Death Eaters, "Hide in the labs! Run!" He then ran down the stairs himself...

Lily made it to the top floor then jumped, feeling a pain when she hit the ground that made her suspect that she had busted her leg, but managed to crawl along for a bit, wondering what was going to happen.

-CRACK-

Suddenly, Lily was engulfed in a wave of flame, but she managed to get outside the Disapparition wards thanks to the power of the blast, even though she knew that she must have been badly wounded. Looking back as she prepared to disapparate, she saw that the home she had just been in had become a giant firestorm, and she knew that Severus must have detonated all of his stock of potions to create such a big blast, as it had created a pillar of roiling black smoke that seemed to smite the heavens. Realizing what must have happened, she then howled in pain like the wolf that Remus frequently was, sobbing,

"Severus? You...You can't die...You just can't!" Lily then screamed, "YOU LIAR! Y-you said that we would be friends forever! FRIENDS FOREVER! Y-YOU CAN'T JUST L-LEAVE ME LIKE THIS!"

Not even noticing her own wounds as her words echoed across the now-blackened landscape, she sat there, sobbing brokenly at the loss of her best friend and one of the men that she had loved most, possibly the man she loved the most. 'Please Sev, come back to me...Come back...' She had never even had the chance to kiss him, and now it looked like she never would...

_Lily-prime was saddened as well, as she had really grown attached to this version of Severus, who was, in many ways, the Severus she had tried to save, saved successfully. She had been wondering whether or not this version of her would have been able to maintain her state of 'just friends', or whether or not she would have done something about it, as this 'her' seemed like herself in many ways..._

* * *

_Time passed, and Lily-prime watched as her counterpart mourned Severus' death much as if she had been turned into a widow by it; Neville Longbottom had, somehow, managed to defeat Voldemort, but at a terrible price. In addition to Severus' own death, Hogwarts itself had been turned into a pyre when the Dark Lord, in the second-to-last battle, with Neville's Horcrux still intact, had unleashed a massive stream of Fiendfyre from himself and a great many of his top minions, which, as the Teachers had been busy fighting outside of Hogwarts, had melted approximately half of the non-Slytherin student body, including Sevilen Potter. Luckily, in spite of this, they had won. More time passed, and Lily saw her children have children, marrying boys and girls of their liking, still sad, but able to bear it with the help of her family..._

Lily Evans smiled at her family as she tried her hardest to keep breathing in and out, in spite of the pain; she knew that her time had come, and there was nothing that she could do to prevent it. One day she had gone to a Muggle doctor for a physical, for the first time in three years, and they had found that she had a tumor on her lungs; upon biopsying it, it had been determined to be small-cell lung cancer, and it had already spread far too quickly to be treated by Muggle means, and Wizarding means relied on returning the body to its proper state. The problem with returning her body to its proper state was the fact that her proper state was killing her, as it included the cancerous cells.

Lily couldn't help a wince, and her grandson, Severus Remus Potter, said, "Granny Lily, are you going to be OK?"

Not wanting to tell the child, but not wanting to lie, Lily said sadly, "I'm afraid not Sevvie; I don't think that I'm going to make it..."

James stood there, holding her hand, and he said quietly, clearly trying to avoid tears, "Severus, I'm afraid that your grandmother needs her rest; we'll see her in the morning."

Lily smiled and accepted a peck on the lips from James as the rest of her family left. 'I suppose that I have had a good life; I mean, although I am young for a witch to die, I AM sixty-five... I got to see my grandchildren, something that my father failed to manage, I have a good husband, and terrific children. If I have to die, I suppose that this is the way to go...

_Lily-prime watched, fascinated, as her counterpart drifted off to sleep, then started dreaming as her vital signs began to fade..._

"Lily, Lily!"

"Mom?"

Lily's eyes opened, and she saw HER Severus standing there in front of her, apparently twenty years of age again, holding Sevilen, both smiling. Her eyes went wide with surprise, then she noticed that she had somehow returned to the age of twenty again as well. Severus then said with a smirk, "You know, Lily, considering how long it took for you to find your way back to us, I was starting to think that you didn't want me anymore... And Sevilen here has been missing you terribly as well..."

Sevilen, looking like he was about twelve, although Lily was pretty sure that he had died at eleven, nodded, saying quietly, "I did, I mised you, mum..."

Lily, still surprised, asked, "Where am I Sev?"

Quietly, Severus said, looking tenderly over at the woman he still loved more than anything, "You are dying, and will be with us soon...Don't worry, it won't hurt, dying that is..." He then smirked, before saying, "Besides, you still owe me a kiss..."

Lily blushed, then said casually, "Well, I suppose that we have been parted for all our lives, so I suppose that a kiss could be acc-"

She was cut off by Severus' lips capturing her own, kissing her without any real skill, but with a great deal of passion, causing her knees to buckle, with Severu barely managing to catch her by the hips with his hands., as Sevilen turned away, muttering, "Ew, grown-ups kissing, gross!"

As the kiss drew to a close, Lily smirked at him, before saying, "And that's all you have for me? Come on, you waited your whole life for me, then waited for me to die; you should certainly have a lot more where that came from..."

Severus then smirked back, whispering in her ear mischieviously, "Lily dear, I am only waiting for you to actually arrive here until I spend a few weeks shagging you senseless. You are still married, but, as they say, 'Till Death do us part...', until James gets up here, you're mine. Even then, he had better get used to sharing you and your beautiful green eyes..."

As Lily laughed with Severus in her dream, her last breath went in, then out, then stopped...

**Side-note to Story: **I suspect that most of you are saddened that this wasn't a pure Lily/Severus fic, and she didn't simply dump James and move back to Severus after finding out that James had still been bullying him, but, even knowing that he had been bullied by James, Lily still wasn't going to go back to him for friendship until he changed. Ironically, James' halting of bullying was the catylyst that Severus needed to change back into the person that Lily had grown to care about very deeply.

In simple terms, I suspect that there are multiple reasons that Severus kept on with the Death Eaters, with several of my fics using different ones, but in this fic, it was mostly because, considering that the Marauders only attacked three or four-on-one, I suspect that Severus would be thrilled to have other people around him, just to prevent Potter from attacking. In addition to some degree of protection, Severus wanted to make James suffer for the harm that he had caused him and, to a lesser extent, Lily's friends suffer for all the times they treated him as unworthy.

With James stopping his bullying ways for real, Severus no longer needed to stay by his friends all the time for protection, although, as you can see, he was still tempted anyway. Also, he stopped laughing, which, to our knowledge, was all he ever did other than insulting Muggleborns, when Avery and Mulciber were bullying because, well, he didn't want to be worse than Potter.

As for why Lily fell in love with Severus while still remaining in love with James after they were married; all I can say is that adultury takes place very frequently in many countries, so its unsurprising that, just because she was in love with James, Lily could still fall for Severus. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if Severus would have actually done something like this if he had remained Lily's friend after losing her, as it would be the closest he could get.

I hope that you all enjoyed this particular one-shot, and please continue voting!

**Author's Note: **Keep in mind when suggesting new ideas that the change must be something that Lily could have done in the original time-line; while I love reading AU a lot, that isn't what this fic is about.

YOU, the readers will get to vote on which differences at key points in the time-line she sees, as well as suggest other changes she could have made. I won't update this fic too often, as I want to give plenty of time for voting and suggestions.

IN ORDER TO VOTE: Select one or more of the possibilities listed, and include them in either a Review, a PM, or an E-mail. You may vote for as many possibilities as you like, but only once for each possibility.

IN ORDER TO POST A NEW SUGGESTION: List the choice that Lily could have made, and your reasoning, and include it in either a Review, a PM, or an E-mail.

ALL SUGGESTED POSSIBILITIES MUST HAVE BEEN ABLE TO OCCUR IN CANON, AND THEY MUST BE DIFFERENCES IN **_LILY'S_** CHOICES. For example, having James be just a little too late in rescueing Severus during the Werewolf prank is not an option, as Lily didn't make that choice, but having her decide to kiss him once in fifth year, just to see what it would be like, is.

In spite of the listed pairing, not all of the lives she views will have Severus and Lily paired together in the end, although a majority will.

Lily decides to kiss Severus once in fifth year, just to see what kissing is like. 3

Outside the portrait hole, when Severus goes up to apologize to Lily, she presses him until he has to answer one way or another, rather than just heading back to her dormitory in disgust. 3

What if she and James had kept Sirius as their secret keeper? 3

What if Lily actually hexed James and the other Marauders, instead of just yelling at them all the time? 3

When Severus hints to Lily about Lupin in fourth year, in connection to James' 'heroics', Lily gets curious about the possibility of him being a werewolf rather than dismissing Severus' concerns. 2

When Lily tells Severus off about his friends in fourth year, she attempts to use concrete examples to prove that they are as bad, or worse than, the Marauders. 2

Rather than almost smiling one time during the incident by the lake, Lily doesn't even get amused at all. 2

After Sev tells her she's a witch, instead of running off with Petunia, she should stay and prod him for further proof. 2

Lily manages to convince the Marauders to stop bullying Severus in third year, before he was that deep in with the future Death Eaters.

Lily drags Severus to a compartment where they can be alone, on their first trip to Hogwarts, so James and Sirius don't hear their talk.

**FEEL FREE TO OFFER MORE!**


	4. One Less Smile

**What if? The Purgatory of Lily**

**Chapter 4**

**One Less Smile**

_I take pride in my husband, not because of what I wanted him to be, but because of what he was..._

**_Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series._**

Thinking about how Severus' counterpart and her counterpart had somehow become almost-lovers even after the supposed death of their friendship got Lily to wondering if maybe, just maybe, the end of their friendship could have been prevented in some way. She knew for a fact that she had been justified in ending their friendship, as he certainly HAD been on the edge of joining the Death Eaters as soon as they had left Hogwarts, and he and the rest of her friends had been at loggerheads for months at that point, tearing her apart inside, until it reached the point that she, with the 'Mudblood' incident, she had given up, figuring that he wouldn't change.

'On the other hand, there is a big difference between being justified to do something and that something being right. Just because I had plenty of good reasons to give up on him doesn't mean that I was right in doing so; maybe I would have been able to keep at it and work him over until he had changed sides, or maybe I couldn't succeed on that, but, as my counterpart said, we had promised to be best friends forever. Dumbledore always said that we would eventually have to choose between what was easy and what was right; it was certainly easy to give up on him and spare myself that heart-ache, but perhaps I should have kept up at it until he either joined them or he gave up on them...'

Even though she had to admit that maybe she had just been taking the easy way out, she was still very much angered and saddened by how Severus had gone and called her 'mudblood' after she had tried to protect him from James. It had been very painful to her to listen to him insult her after she had only been trying to rescue him from James; that hurt had been the brick that had broken the camel's back in her mind, causing her to lose all pity for him when he had apologized to her.

'Why did he act like that...? I mean, why insult me after I had only been trying to help him?' Sighing, Lily then pressed her hand to the mirror and watched as the mirror flashed brightly, before resolving into a scene that had entered a state of infamy in her own mind. The day after the DADA O.W.L.s, by the lake, midway through the incident...

* * *

_Just like in her time-line, Lily-prime watched as her counterpart went to try and defend her best friend, Severus; to her surprise, it seemed that she had spent more time rejecting James' request for a date than helping her best friend though, something that caused Lily-prime to feel a pang of guilt, even though it had been so long ago as, in her mind at least, she had believed herself to have been completely focused on rescuing Severus. Finally, Lily-prime had a feeling that the events in the time-line were coming to a head somehow and settled down to watch..._

"Bad luck, Prongs. OY!" Even as Sirius shouted, Severus, having reached his wand, aimed his _Sectumsempra_spell at James, causing a gash to appear on his cheak which sprayed blood onto his robes. Immediately, James responded with a copy of Severus' own hex, _Levicorpus_, hoisting him into the air by his ankles and exposing his graying underwear for all to see.

Even as the rest of the crowd laughed, Lily maintained her furious glare, saying coldly, "Let him down!"

James let Severus down, saying "Certainly.", only for Sirius to put a _Locomotor Mortis _spell upon him, causing him to fall over again, much to the amusement of the onlookers other than Lily, who shouted "LEAVE HIM ALONE!", then drew her wand.

Looking at her warily, James said earnestly, "Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you."

Lily spat back, furious at James' inability to leave Severus alone, "Take the curse off him, then!"

Sighing deeply, and with an expression of great reluctance, James turned to Severus and muttered the countercurse, saying, "There you go, you're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus..."

_Lily-prime gritted her teeth, not wanting to see this scene again, but forced to bear it by the magic of the mirror; it had been incredibly painful to have happen to her as, although she had gotten more than a little distracted by James, she had had Severus' best interests in mind..._

Severus glared back at him, then stalked away from the Marauders, saying nothing as Lily followed him until everyone else was out of earshot, then he whirled around and said angrily at her, eyes flashing with fury, "If you intend to 'rescue' me next time like that, please, save both of our times and leave me be!"

Lily blinked, shocked that he would say this after she had rescued, and could only say in a surprised tone of voice, "What? What do you mean, Severus...?"

Severus then growled, before shouting with an angry snarl, "You heard me! Next time, if you want to help, don't do it because it is your bloody obligation! Do it because I'm your friend, got it!" He then all but ran toward the Great Hall, and out of sight, but not before Lily could see the hurt look on his face, hiding behind the angry eyes, which confused her as she was the one who was supposed to be hurting...

_Lily-prime was equally confused, but for different reasons; from her viewpoint with the mirror, she could see what Severus meant, even if it hadn't been on purpose on either her or her counterpart's side. Lily-prime had always tried to be even-handed in her prefect duties, and Severus...wouldn't know what evenhanded meant if it was smacking him upside the head, mostly because he had never been acquainted with evenhanded people. Lily-prime knew that, although she had seen some of humanity's darkest traits during the war, she still hadn't been through anything half as bad as what Severus had been through, as the people who were supposed to help him, such as Dumbledore and Slughorn, had basically ignored him while James and his friends ran roughshod over him. If what she had seen in the previous time-line was true, then it was no wonder that the Death Eaters were appealling to him..._

_'However, that doesn't change the fact that nothing really changed in my actions, so why were Severus' actions so much milder...?'_

* * *

_Lily then watched interestedly as, like in her time-line, Severus apologized later that night to her counterpart; the difference was that, unlike in her original time-line, it didn't result in the end of their friendship, although Lily could sense the strain on it was still very great. Nonetheless, it continued on until they returned home for the Summer, in spite of the strain..._

Lily put her head into her pillow and let out a muffled scream at how Severus was still acting; it was driving her crazy how, all of a sudden over the past few months, he had been alternatively trying to push her away, trying to keep everything all bottled up, and then blow up all of a sudden at the strangest of intervals, such as at the end of O.W.L.s last semester. Lily then turned around and plopped back onto the bed.

She knew that he typically had very good reasons for his blow-ups when he had them, that wasn't the problem; the problem was that Severus had suddenly stopped telling her what was bothering him and he wouldn't explain his reasons until said blow-up had occured. The cycle was maddening, and she was thoroughly sick of it.

Finally, Lily got up and she said aloud, "That is IT!" She then stood on her bed, glaring off into an imaginary scene with Severus scowling back at her like some kind of dark knight, "You are going to tell me what's going on whether you like it or not!"

In a state of righteous fury, Lily then proceeded to march over to Severus' house, past his drunken father, who for once was wise and stayed out of the path of the furious young woman, and opened Severus' door with a a glare already fixed upon her face. Severus, who was reading yet another book on the Dark Arts, was clearly shocked to see her, but Lily could see him starting to become angry. Rather than stop him, Lily merely waited for the boom, which didn't come, as Severus choked down his anger, to Lily's disappointment, forcing all emotion off of his face.

It wasn't so much that she wanted Severus to be angry with her, but she didn't want him to pretend that he was fine when he wasn't. Lily then said softly, "Severus, I want you to tell me what's wrong; why have you been acting...the way you have been acting for the past few months? I'm really starting to get worried..."

Severus' eyes seemed to reveal some strange emotion for a moment, then Severus said coolly, "Its nothing, Lily, I'm fine, really..."

_'Unfortunately, this scene was something that could have described the last several months of their friendship perfectly.' mused Lily-prime. 'Ever since shortly after the Shrieking Shack incident, Severus had started closing himself whenever he was around me...'_

Lily fought hard to keep from rolling her eyes, and only barely succeeded. 'OK, now what?' Lily hadn't exactly made a plan for how to get him to tell her what was bothering him; she had just jumped into it without figuring out how to go about it, just like Severus' stereotypical Gryffindor. Frantically thinking, Lily decided that the best way to get him to reveal what was up was the age-old method of provoking him until he bursts and this time make sure he let it all out. She then said coolly,

"I have to say, Sev, you are making Potter look quite mature with how you are acting; even he wouldn't be PLAYING PRETEND and SULKING like some infant!"

Even though it was only one sentence, Lily knew that Severus would positively detonate at the idea of being viewed as less mature than Potter, let alone the idea that he was acting like an infant, and he certainly didn't disappoint...

Severus' eyes glittered dangerously, then he shouted, jumping up off of the bed as he did so, "How DARE you compare me to POTTER of all people!? You say that I'm not being mature!? Well, think about how YOU'VE been acting! If I've been playing pretend, its because you preferred that I was playing pretend than the idea of actually TALKING TO and LISTENING TO me!"

_'Huh?' _

Lily was about to speak, but she had called for rain and unleashed a tidal wave apparently, as Severus was just getting warmed up. Severus then shouted, glaring at her as he did so, "Who was the one who decided that I needed proof in TRIPLICATE for anything to be wrong, while even Potter's bloody MARAUDERS were trusted more than me!? Who was the one who preferred to believe Dumbledore's tale of POTTER'S so-called bravery than listen to her so-called BEST FRIEND, HUH!?"

Lily was starting to grow furious at Severus as well, although she could see that he did indeed have a point; nonetheless though, she started shouting at him angrily as well, marching up to him as she did so, "Well, YOUR friends have been hexing all of my friends, and YOU haven't been doing anything to stop it! At least Potter helps my friends out when they are in a bind! What do you do? You call it 'just a laugh'!"

Severus thrust his face in at her own, and he continued with his own rant, "CONSIDER THIS, Lily! All of YOUR friends say that you should dump me like some year-old DRAGON DUNG! Do you think that I am going to put myself out for Mudbloods like them!? Frankly, I think that they deserve what they get! At least MY friends don't mess with YOU! All of your friends either hex me or try to insult me!"

Lily then positively shrieked, waving her hands in the air as she shouted back, "Mudblood, Mudblood, Mudblood! That's all you ever say nowadays! Do you see why I hate your friends!? They are making you sound like bloody Lucius Malfoy! At least MY friends don't insult you based on your blood heritage!"

Severus then responded, roaring, "Fine! How about this!? I'll call them like they are, LYING HARPIES, UGLY BINTS, and PATHETIC EXCUSES FOR HUMAN BEINGS! HAPPY!?"

Severus' father then roared from right behind them, causing them both to jump in the air in fright, "SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU FREAKS! AND GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!" He then grabbed Lily by the left arm and dragged her out of his house, while Severus shouted from behind him,

"Leave Lily alone! You drunken Muggle!"

After Tobias Snape threw Lily out of the house on her rear, before slamming the door and clearly going back to 'deal' with Severus, Lily got up, rubbing the dust off of the blue sundress she had been wearing and muttered, "Actually, Severus, that did make me a little happier..."

_'Wow, that actually went even worse than in my time-line...' Lily-prime gaped in shock at the sheer level of anger that had been let loose from the two friends..._

* * *

_To Lily-prime's surprise however, the friendship didn't end there; in fact, it seemed that the two of them, although they still had some issues between them, had regained a great deal of the closeness lost over the past years. Apparently it was like letting loose air from an overinflated balloon, and it seemed to clear the air, so to speak._

_Without requiring her counterpart to say anything else, Severus had stopped calling Lily's friends, nor anyone else for that matter, 'Mudblood', although it couldn't be said that he stopped insulting them, while she had stopped putting up with them when they insulted Severus, although she tried to keep their friendships. However, in an ironic twist of fate, to Severus' glee, Lily's horror and Lily-prime's bemusement, the inability to simply fall back on 'Mudblood' had merely forced him to take his skill at insulting people to new heights. However, her counterpart had clearly started to grow interested in boys beyond the level of mere friendship or so-called dates, just like Lily-prime had..._

Lily sighed as she walked down to the lake, sick and tired of it all; she knew that James had loved her since about third year, which had been enough of a problem considering how much he tormented her best friend, Severus, yet he hadn't given up pursuing her. What made matters worse was the fact that she secretly liked having him pursue him, and she was definitely attracted to him, as much as she denied it. After all, he was handsome, witty, funny and a great person to be around if you were his friend.

Unfortunately, her problem had gotten worse lately; yesterday, Severus, after she and him had finished up their homework for the day, had told her to wait for a moment, then he had stuttered for about five minutes, until Lily had been almost ready to give up on the idea of him saying something understandable, when he had finally managed to croak out that he loved her, not just as best friends, and would like to try to have a relationship with her, if it was OK with her.

When Lily, surprised by his confession, had stared at him in shock for several seconds, surprised at the idea of her best friend being in love with her, whereupon he had gone beet red, before mumbling _"Its alright if you aren't interested; I just thought that maybe...you would like to know. If you aren't interested, then I-I suppose that that's OK too...",_ then leaving before Lily could say anything.

In hindsight, which, as usual, was perfect, it had been a little bit more than blindingly obvious that Severus had been in love with her for the past three-four year, a fact that had somehow escaped Lily in spite of all the time that they had spent together. 'And I always thought that SEVERUS was bad with emotions and feelings! Its practically the bloody pot calling the bloody kettle black!'

However, Lily had to deal with something more important than attempting to create a dent in the wall by using her over-thick head as a hammer: like with James, Lily was attracted to Severus, although for different reasons. Severus, although not the worst looking man in the world, would never be handsome, and funny was something that he didn't aspire to be, but he had an appeal all his own, and clearly would give up the world for those he cared about, even if they never asked. 'Its too bad that Severus doesn't show the same willingness to help others when it comes to people he doesn't care about though. Still, I guess that that probably won't be changing anytime soon...'

While Severus was downright rude and sarcastic most of the time to people who he wasn't close to, he was always tender, if a little snarky, to the people he cared about. That was a short list consisting of herself, Mulciber, Avery and, lately, Mary Macdonald, who had decided to bite the bullet and get to know him after Lily had made it clear that if Mary wanted to spend time with her when Severus was nearby, then she would have to be nice to him, and she couldn't insult him when Lily was within earshot either.

Surprisingly, Severus and Mary made excellent friends, although Lily wasn't exactly thrilled when Severus had started teaching Mary everything about the Dark Arts that he possibly could...

_Lily-prime started in surprise at her counterparts thoughts. 'The heck? Well, I suppose that Mary always did have a taste for the more destructive side of Magic, so it is understandable. I guess it wouldn't be that bad though; I mean, Severus' counterpart in the first time-line never gave up his interest in the Dark Arts, and he ended up saving the world!'_

However, it had brought to her attention something that she found extremely interesting, now that she thought about it: Mary hadn't changed in any real way after learning a bunch of Dark Magic, although Sirius, who had a crush on the brunette, had ended up in the Hospital Wing once when he refused to take a hint.

Lily suspected that this might be a clue to the puzzle that she had been trying to solve for the last few years: getting Severus out of that gang of Voldemort-supporting Slytherins before he ended up joining the Death Eaters, something which, like James' endless bullying of Severus, was the main thing preventing her from trying to form a relationship with Severus, as she had no intention of going out with, let alone marrying, someone who was serving Voldemort.

She didn't want to blackmail Severus into giving up on the Death Eaters for the sake of their friendship, let alone any possible romantic relationships, but she also didn't want to give up on him either. Although she had been seriously wondering whether or not their friendship could be saved towards the end of fifth year, especially considering how Severus had been acting, Lily had decided some time ago that she would keep their friendship unless and until he actually joined them. If it proved necessary, she would force him to choose her or them, but she wanted him to choose not to join them of his own accord...

_Lily-prime sighed, as she certainly remembered thoughts like that very much indeed. She had taken to wondering sometimes, after the friendship had ended, what would have happened if she had kept it going? She suspected that changing him at that point would have proven extremely difficult, but there was quite a difference between trying to change someone and trying to make them choose a different 'Career'..._

Lily then paused, considering something; over the past few years, she had nagged him alternately about his friendships with Mulciber and Avery, his love of the Dark Arts, and his interest in joining the Death Eaters. What if she only focused on one of those three things? His friendships with those two were annoying, but it was more of a symptom of the problem rather than the cause, and his interest in the Dark Arts apparently wasn't as big of a problem as she thought, so that just left his interest in joining the Death Eaters as her primary worry...

After several minutes of thought, she was still undecided about any possible romances, but had come to the conclusion that she would focus entirely on Severus' wanting to join the Death Eaters in any of their future talks, emphasizing that it was JOINING THEM that she thought was irredeemable, not his friendships with Avery and Mulciber or his interest in the Dark Arts. 'At the least, its worth a shot. I would rather he choose not to join them because HE thinks that it is right not to, but I would be willing to settle with my Sev not joining them because I persuaded him of it...'

* * *

_Interested, Lily-prime watched as, over the next several months, her counterpart systematically sliced all of Severus' justifications for joining the Death Eaters to pieces, although, from Lily-prime's perspective, it seemed that THAT particular battle had been actually won long before Severus had admitted it to her counterpart, as he had stopped going to the meetings well before the point he had officially told her that he was no longer interested. _

_Thrilled at finding this out, Lily-prime's counterpart had taken the opportunity to throw a party in celebration, although Severus had insisted that she use a reason other than his leaving the future-Death Eaters, as he had told them that he was only leaving temporarily to woo her. During said party, Severus had taken a chance and dared to kiss her counterpart lightly on the lips, which had quickly developed into a heated snog session in front of a fair portion of Hogwarts._

_They had started dating that same evening, much to Lily-prime's interest, but apparently it wasn't to last..._

'How did it go wrong?' Lily wanted to know as she slammed her palm again and again into the bedside table in the Hospital Wing, where she had been crying for the last hour alone, before... 'No! I can't...it can't be real! Why did you leave me, Sev!? WHY!? We could have been so happy together...'

She and Severus had been going out together for nearly a year since the party where Severus had supposedly finally given up on the Death Eaters. It hadn't been a completely smooth ride, but, then again, anything to do with Severus was rarely smooth; in spite of his silky smooth voice, Severus never had been one to do things the simple way, preferring to take at least three one-hundred-twenty degree turns before somehow ending up exactly where he intended to be, just like how, in first year, he had almost completely ignored the instructions for creating a basic cleaning solution, only to end up with something that had made Slughorn's mind boggle.

Lily smiled at that memory, remembering how Severus had smirked then, but there had been the smallest hints of real happiness hidden amongst the walls he had slowly been building up around himself, which had risen with each of James' attacks on him. She then burst into fresh tears, as every memory Severus had been involved with now acted as a knife slicing away at her heart, leaving bleeding chunks where she had wanted him to be.

_Lily-prime watched her counterpart helplessly, wishing that she could cause her tears to go away as her counterpart cried, much like she had cried that day Severus had called her 'Mudblood'..._

It had taken a couple of months, but eventually her Gryffindor friends, with the exception of the Marauders, had accepted that Severus was her boyfriend and that they were a package deal, tolerating him and, in a couple of cases, actually becoming friends with him.

As Lily had hoped, with Severus no longer involved in the Death Eaters, everything had been going swimmingly, with him, Mulciber and Avery spending less time together because of conflicting interests and, eventually, even James and the Marauders had apologized to him for what they had been doing for the last seven years, although she could tell that James and Severus still loathed one another in spite of it.

There was no way that Lily was going to admit it, but she had secretly started checking out bridal magazines from the Hogwarts library, figuring that Severus was likely to propose to her as soon as they got out of school, much to the amusement of Madam Pince, the librarian. To Lily's surprise and embarrassment, Madam Pince had actually taken to suggesting other books and magazines that Lily might wish to peruse, as well as a couple of books for the honeymoon, probably trying to live her romantic dreams vicariously through Lily.

However, starting about a month ago, the gang that Severus had left had started asking him about rejoining, and, although Severus had claimed that he wasn't interested, over the past month, he had withdrawn from her more and more, seeming to pay more attention to their offers even as his new friends had been enjoying unwanted rests in the Hospital Wing, much like Lily was tonight, courtesy of those bloody future-Death Eaters.

_Lily-prime felt a sick sense of foreboding as she listened to her counterpart's thoughts..._

Finally, Severus had told her tonight, the same day that she had finally been attacked like the rest of her friends, that he was breaking up with him and joining them, as they had made him an offer he couldn't refuse, giving him the opportunity to have the respect, power, and something that he wanted very much, and their relationship was in the way of that, so it had to go, then he had had the nerve to say that he was 'sorry', saying, _"Lily, I'm sorry, but I had to do it; trust me, you'll see that, in the end, this was the right thing to do. You wouldn't want a boyfriend who was a Death Eater anyway, would you?_

Lily had then shouted aloud, now furious at everything that he had claimed to offer her, only to take it all away, knowing that Madam Pomfrey had left for a moment so she was free to scream, as she was alone there, _"SORRY!? What does you think I care about you being sorry!? I don't want your sorrow, I want you to stay with ME! To choose ME over SOME BLOODY DEATH EATERS! NOT TO BE SORRY!"_

Severus had then said quietly back to her, looking like he was going to be sick, _"I can't do that, Lily, I really am sorry, but this is the way it has to be..." _He had then walked away, leaving her in the Hospital Wing

Meanwhile, down in the dungeons, a boy fought a losing battle against tears, hating himself for what he had had to do, hurting the girl who loved him, but he knew that it had been something that he needed to do. Lily could find someone else to love and be loved by easily enough, but Severus couldn't stand there and let his friends get hurt anymore; he could stand their hatred, as he was used to the hatred of others, but he couldn't watch them suffering...

* * *

_Lily-prime watched as the weeks passed, until their seventh year was nearly over; to her surprise, rather than moping about like she would have expected, her counterpart had instead bounced back within a matter of days, even flirting with James Potter. She had been confused at first, but then she had realized that her counterpart had been at her brightest and most exuberant whenever Severus had been in the same room, and then she understood; it wasn't that she had gotten over it, but rather that she had wanted to rub it in Severus' face, much like Lily-prime had done throughout much of sixth and seventh year, thinking that if Severus had seen her thrilled in his absence, then he would regret choosing the Death Eaters over her, perhaps changing his mind..._

_Unlike her Severus though, who had looked as if the world had personally decided to take a dump on him whenever she walked into the room, this Severus instead smiled slightly whenever he saw her, although that quickly turned into a grimace whenever he saw her trying to flirt with James. Speaking of James..._

James Potter stood alone by the Hogwarts lake, looking at his reflection in the water which swallowed as James himself was doing, running his hands through his hair. 'Blast it all! Why couldn't things be SIMPLE like they were before!?'

On the surface, it appeared that things were simple; Snape had dumped Lily and gone back to the Death Eaters he had supposedly left, who was now trying to use James to get back at him by flirting with James in front of him, much as he had wanted since they were in second year. Although Lily was interested NOW in getting back at Snape, James knew that she was attracted to him, and, if he put his mind to it, he could probably win her over once and for all. When looked at it directly, it was the perfect opportunity...

Unfortunately, to James' annoyance, he had been forced to realize that things involving Snape were never as simple as he would have liked; Snape ALWAYS had a hidden agenda, and would never do anything without there being at least a couple of hidden tricks to it. It had annoyed James ever since he had arrived at Hogwarts, but only recently had he come to realize that Snape's sneakiness might not be concealing wickedness, at least, not necessarily, and this seemed like it might just be like one of those cases...

'Bloody hell! Why couldn't Snape be like Wormtail? Honest to a fault, if a bit stupid!? It would make things SOO much easier to deal with! Instead he's making his plots within plots and I'm the one stuck looking around like a fool! He's probably laughing now down in the dungeons at me, right this second!' James, angry, fired an _Incendio _spell at a nearby tree, something that he had done as an anger-management tool now that he had stopped being able to take his anger out on Snape...

_'Huh, apparently this James really did change his ways when it came to Severus; I wonder why. He apparently never changed in my time-line' Lily-prime thought to herself bitterly, grimacing as she did so, 'so what made him change in this one?'_

James had, perversely, hated Snape even more once he had found out that he wasn't just some Dungeon-dwelling slime-ball, as it showed that James had been just as bad as Snape's so-called buddies. He hated how Severus had forced him to see that there were two sides to everything, like that night, just after he had started dating Lily, that James had heard Snape bragging to his Slytherin 'buddies' that he had only left the group for a bit, solely so he could get in Lily's knickers.

James had gone red and, as soon as he had Snape had gotten far enough away from them that he couldn't be heard, James had silenced him, then started hexing him into a human shaped cursemark, shouting furiously about how Snape had taken Lily from him, and didn't even have the decency to not try and use her like a whore.

Near the end of his tirade, the silence had come undone, and Snape had had the audacity to laugh bitterly, before saying _"It must be so easy living in ignorance, you pathetic fool. Lily already knows what I am telling the Slytherins, Potter."_, which had caused James to stop his hexing in sheer disbelief, before Snape had continued, wheezing as he did so, saying _"If I told...them the truth...then they would just hex Lily, much like you are hexi...hexing me. As long as they believe me, I can date her in safety."_

James had been furious at him, angry at how Snape could make so light of what he was telling him, and he had started roaring about how Snape was letting rumors be spread about Lily and how she was going to be used as a Slytherin's whore solely so he could go unscathed, and he had started to get into another rant, when Snape said coldly, still wheezing, _"What would you do, Potter? Would you te...tell them that you are leaving out of some twisted sense...of nobility? If I did that, then not only would I be attacked, but they would no longer leave my Gryffindor fri...friends alone. A little bit of dignity is a small pri...price to pay for that. I'm not going to risk m...my well-being only to prove a point; there are far bet...better things to risk it for..."_

_Lily-prime raised her eyebrows, a habit that Severus had given her, at what Severus had said; one of the things that had angered her the most was the fact that, prior to his time as a Death Eater, she had never seen him stick his neck out for anyone, save for her sometimes. It had been one of the things that bothered her the most, as by not condemning the crimes of his friends and trying to stop them, it had seemed as if he were condoning them. However, she had never considered it from this perspective; it wasn't the bravest thing she had ever heard from anyone, but Severus did have a point. Lily had stopped risking her life in combat once she had become pregnant for a similar reason, as her life and that of her son's was far too precious to waste it on attempts at glory..._

Snape had then hobbled away, and James had been very much embarrassed when he had confronted Lily about what Snape was saying to the Slytherins, only to find that she knew and agreed with Snape's decision, saying that she would rather risk her life fighting Voldemort than for a little bit of dignity. Realizing that Snape had been right, and feeling guilty about how he had beaten him half to death, James had somehow found it in himself to apologize and tell Snape privately that, in James' eyes, he was free of his Life Debt, which had gotten him a sneer and a glimmer of gratitude visible in Snape's eyes.

If he hadn't James couldn't have, in good conscience, looked at Lily and her friends anymore; he had always privately felt a little bit guilty considering how he had gotten Snape into the situation which he had rescued him from in the first place, but it had been worth it when he had finally been able to impress Lily by rescuing his worst enemy. Now however, James had been forced to wonder if, as Lily had always said, Snape had always been a good person after all, and he had just been beating him up for no reason other than jealousy and, frankly, because he could and not get punished.

_Lily-prime looked at this James with interest, as this had been the James that she had thought she had fallen in love with, the one who had honestly regretted what he had done to Snape, although she suspected that, towards the end, James had regretted it some, at least, that's what she hoped..._

No, what made this situation aggrivating beyond belief was the fact that, when he looked at it more closely, things were not as they seemed: the Junior Death Eaters hadn't attacked any of Snape's former Gryffindor friends since he had joined them, and Snape had been spending more time than any three students combined holed up in the headmaster's office according to the Marauder's Map, yet he hadn't been receiving any punishments, and then there had been Snape's genuine pleasure when he had seen Lily so apparently happy after their break-up.

James had dated a couple of times, and he knew that, generally speaking, people tended to take a perverse pleasure watching the person they broke up with moping, not watching them with small smiles as they got over them with great ease.

All of that combined made James think, in his heart of hearts, that it hadn't been a cruel break-up, but more of the sort of heroic self-sacrifice that Gryffindor house had always made it a point to honor, and that Severus might just have been playing another game, with Lily as the eventual winner, breaking up with her because of his love for her rather than out of self-interest.

No, what sickened James most of all was the fact that, even though he had just gotten the greatest opportunity of his life, and he could FINALLY, after ALL the time he had spent praying that Lily might return his affections, actually have his chance to get the girl of his dreams, he wasn't going to take it; if he did take this opportunity, then, even though he might win Lily, he would no longer be able to feel like a good person, as he would be going against everything he preached about and believed in about Gryffindor. If he took this opportunity, then rather than honoring Snape's sacrifice, he would be making a mockery of it, using it as a stepping stone to achieve his own selfish desires...

'I hate this, but if I don't give up on her, I would no longer be James Potter, the man who will be a future hero, but rather James Potter, the man who uses future heroes for his own gain...'

James then walked away, knowing that he had given up on what might be his chance at happiness, but not regretting it, because at least his reflection wouldn't mock him for what he had done...

_Even though she wasn't there physically, Lily-prime felt the need to bow her head in honor of his sacrifice..._

* * *

_Time passed, and, just like Lily-prime, her counterpart had joined the Order of the Phoenix fresh out of Hogwarts, although without a husband or even somebody to date, but unlike in Lily-prime's time-line, there was a surprise there that her counterpart had, at first, been downright thrilled to see, until she had thought it through. 'Never let it be thought that I couldn't appreciate irony...'_

'You know what? Getting everything I wanted really, REALLY sucks! If only I could go back in time and smack myself for my stupidity!' Lily was more than a little angry as she sat in the library of the temporary Order of the Phoenix Headquarters, the Potter Mansion, which James had generously donated for the cause. It was a grand old manor, and, rather than the murky feeling that Sirius' home had held, it seemed to be almost like a cathedral to the light, minus the stained-glass windows, and she thoroughly enjoyed spending time in it.

The library was a beautiful thing, that had forced Lily to wipe away a speck of drool when she had seen just how many rare and valuable titles were inside, and, for a fleeting moment, Lily had wished that she and James were dating just so that she could have access to all these rare, valuable tomes.

No, Lily wasn't angry because of where she was sitting, but rather because of who she was sitting by: her ex-boyfriend, ex-best friend, Severus Snape, who was in full Death Eater attire, complete with mask, a bit of an irony considering that the two of them were in Anti-Death Eater Central. She had arrived at the Order three weeks ago, only to find the entire group listening while Severus had been giving a report on the status of the Death Eaters; none of the rest of the Order could have told who he was, Lily was sure, as Severus hadn't been using the silky smooth voice that he had practiced almost since he had arrived at Hogwarts, but rather the somewhat rougher accented tones he had always used when he was a kid, while he had been completely garbed in his Death Eater robes and mask, concealing any parts of his body that could be easily recognized.

_Lily-prime chuckled slightly in remembrance; one of the things that had amused her was how, when Severus had first come to Hogwarts, he had done his best to create a new voice in order to make himself seem more impressive. Now that she thought about it though, she could see the same signs that had eventually driven him into the Death Eaters, a veritable NEED for someone, anyone, to tell him that he was important or special, something which he had never gotten at home, only from Lily and, eventually, the Death Eaters..._

In spite of the many years since she had heard that voice, and its changes from puberty, Lily had recognized it instantly, and her eyes had widened like saucers for the rest of the meeting, when Dumbledore had taken her aside, clearly realizing that she had recognized his spy, yes, his spy, and explained the situation to her.

Apparently, back when the Junior Death Eaters had started attacking Severus' friends, he had started to come to a realization: it was impossible to protect Lily, or anyone for that matter, as long as people like the Death Eaters existed and wanted to harm them. In spite of his supposed loyalty to the group, they didn't consider him important enough to spare his friends because of him anymore. It wasn't a sudden epiphany, but Severus had slowly come to understand that, if he wanted them to be safe, which he cared about above all else, then they had to be stopped by any means necessary.

As usual however, once Severus came to a conclusion to do something, he would do it to the absolute best of his abilities, uncaring about the cost to himself; he had gone to Dumbledore, volunteering his services to him, asking him what would be the best way that he could help the Order stop the Death Eaters. Dumbledore, knowing that Severus was trusted by the Death Eaters, even if he was no longer important to them, suggested that he might be the most effective by becoming a spy.

Severus, after thinking it over agreed, whereupon Dumbledore had required that he make an Unbreakable Vow never to betray the Order because he needed to be sure of his loyalties or, in Severus' opinion, to which Lily privately agreed, because he was a Slytherin. Upon making said vow however, Dumbledore had required Severus to give up on his Gryffindor friends and Lily in order to 'deceive his friends to deceive his enemies'.

When Severus had balked, furious at the idea, Dumbledore had quietly pointed out that disobeying the leader of the Order of the Phoenix was comparable to betrayal; Lily had looked upon Dumbldore with horror as Severus had told her this, praying that he would contradict Severus, only to have her hopes dashed as he confirmed it.

_Lily-prime could hardly believe it either, until she had remembered what she had heard from Bathilda Bagshot in the year prior to her death, claiming that Dumbledore and Grindelwald had once been friends, not believing that so great of a man had been friends with so rotten of a person. However, if what Lily-prime's counterpart had said was true, then maybe she had been incorrect to be so leery of what Ms. Bagshot had told her about Dumbledore..._

In addition to her abject fury at Dumbledore when she had found out about this obscenity, Lily had been both thrilled and furious when she had found out what Severus had done, thrilled because he hadn't actually betrayed her or wanted to break up with her, and furious because he had gone up to tell Dumbledore on his own without even letting her know.

While she was thinking all of this to herself, Severus quietly watched her, then said, stuttering slightly, after using his _Muffliato _spell to give them some privacy, "Are y-ou OK, Lily?"

Lily whirled around at him, almost screaming in her fury, "Am I OK!? AM I OK!? Now I have a best friend I can hardly be seen with, lest his secret be discovered, who could be risking his life every time that he leaves my sight, and you have the nerve to ask me if I'm OK!? How could you let yourself get into this mess!? HOW COULD YOU!?"

Severus then glared at her, saying angrily, "Stop being such a w-whiny girl, L-Lily! You know as well as I d-do that sacrifices h-have to be made! This just so happens to be mine!" He then said quietly, sullenly, "Would you mind going and getting me my po-potion, p-please, Lily?"

Still furious, but unable to say anything else, Lily stormed off, angry tears starting their tracks down her face almost as soon as she had left the room. If it wasn't so horrifying, Lily would have considered it incredibly ironic: ever since she had first started going to Hogwarts, Lily had wanted her friend to stick his neck out and take a stand for something, be courageous and brave, fighting the Death Eaters ideally.

However, now Lily would have given anything to have him not even involved at all, safe and puttering around inventing curses and potions in his spare time, perhaps taking care of their children as a sort of house-husband...

_Lily-prime knew that feeling very well; she had started to understand why Slytherins always considered Gryffindors idiotic for wearing their hearts on their sleeves and risking their lives for their ideals soon after the war began, when she, reading the _Daily Prophet_, had seen an article about her school chum, Mary Macdonald, about how she had been tortured and raped before she had been killed after being captured in a battle against the Death Eaters..._

Yes, it was indeed much simpler wanting him to be courageous and brave when Lily didn't have to see the results of that bravery or courage: Severus coming home from Death Eater meetings somewhere between alive and dead, unable to keep himself from stuttering on account of the shivers wracking his body from the _Cruciatus_, Severus unable to do any more than say 'hi' when he and Lily weren't working together on Order of the Phoenix business lest he risk his identity being discovered and dying, Severus losing every one of his friends and having to know that they hated him and, worst of all, knowing that every time they killed one of the Death Eaters there was the possibility that Severus had been the one that they had killed...

Life was indeed so much simpler when one didn't have to know the price of getting what one wanted, but at least Lily could be there to make sure that Severus survived it, which she fiercely decided she would make happen at all costs...

* * *

_Time passed and, much like her own time-line, the war heated up by the day it seemed, the corpses piled high, until at one point the Ministry had revealed that approximately 40% of all the graduates from Hogwarts between the years 1955 and 1979 had died in this forsaken war. However, unlike her time-line, the Death Eaters were slowly but surely ground down in battles of attrition against the Ministry and the Order, as the presence of a spy so early in the war had two major benefits: it enabled both the Order and the Ministry to optimize their resources, and Voldemort had almost killed more Death Eaters on suspicions of them being spies than the Order had in battle..._

_Finally, in a truly epic battle, the Order and many of the Ministry stormed Voldemort's primary stronghold and, despite incurring heavy losses, managed to capture or kill about 90% of the Death Eaters stationed there, before managing to bring Voldemort himself down through sheer numbers..._

Lily smiled slightly as she watched Severus frowning while reading the _Daily Prophet_, still enjoying how finally, after more than three years of war, she was getting the chance to watch him relax without a care in the world...well, no more cares than a man like Severus usually had anyway. He still scowled much of the time, but, in spite of his periodic shivers, relics from the endless stream of _Cruciatus _curses that Voldemort had been using on his followers towards the end while he had been searching desperately for the spy, Severus seemed to now be living with a weight off his shoulders.

After her apartment had been reduced to flaming rubble from a Death Eater attack later in the war, Lily had taken to living at Severus' home in Spinner's End, which he had allowed with a resigned _"If you must..."__._ Although the house still bore some of the signs of the similar construction as the rest of its awful neighborhood, Lily, with Severus' help later on, had managed to restore it to a reasonably clean abode.

Lily privately hoped that Severus' allowing her to help with the remodeling of the little home indicated that he didn't want her to ever leave, a hope that was strengthened by how he had allowed her to construct a photography room out of his father's old study. Lily had always enjoyed taking pictures, especially the wizarding variety, as it felt like she was really there in the memory when she looked at one, an experience that hadn't been cheapened even when she had actually used a pensieve one time, and she had been greatly annoyed when she realized that it had been about three years since she and Severus had actually been able to share a photograph together.

_Lily-prime smiled fondly, remembering how much fun it had been for her to take photos of her friends and family, and how she had almost become obsessed with the practice at some point before the war had really heated up..._

Making up for lost time, Lily had feverishly taken so many pictures of herself, Severus and the two of them together that Severus had chuckled and teased her one time of how she spent more time making those photographs than he did making breakfast, lunch and dinner combined, which he had taken to with relish as it made him feel that he wasn't sitting around complaining about how he couldn't make potions anymore thanks to his shivers, at least, not until he healed from what had caused them.

Of course, that didn't mean much of a reduction in his complaints considering how much he seemed to like complaining, especially about 'those morons over at the Ministry!'; although Lily normally didn't like the idea of just listening to someone complain, feeling that most who did would be better off doing something about it, Severus seemed to do it much like other men practiced Quidditch for a hobby, solely as a hobby. Besides, he was really, REALLY funny when he mocked the Ministry for its stupidity, as his skill at insults had seemingly only increased since his years at Hogwarts.

Speaking of which, Severus threw his newspaper aside with a grimace, before going over to the stove to finish up on the omelets he had been working on for their breakfast as he muttered insults, the lightest of which included mutterings like like "...Fudge describes him perfectly, he melts under the light of cameras and is good for nothing...", causing Lily to snort.

Quite frankly, Lily loved everything about the life she had built with Severus, who seemed to make her days a bit more enjoyable, and her problems a little less important, simply by being nearby. Their relationship, which had been formed as children, toughened up by their years growing apart, deepened by their short (far too short in Lily's mind) stint as boyfriend and girlfriend, shattered by Severus' duty, then finally born anew in the war against Voldemort, had become something that Lily, quite frankly, refused to do without.

_Lily-prime watched her counterpart, mesmerized; although this Lily clearly didn't have the same passionate relationship with Severus going on that Lily-prime had had with James (She remembered 'christening' every room in their house no less than three times), she seemed happy and content in a way that Lily-prime had to envy slightly, as her counterpart and Severus seemed to have a understanding and knowledge of each other that, even after three years of marriage, Lily-prime and James wouldn't have been able to match..._

Honestly, the only problem that Lily had with their relationship was the fact that, in spite of the war being over and their duties finished, Severus hadn't even once asked her if she would be willing to rekindle their romantic relationship as well. Lily was starting to think that it might be best to give up hope and try to move on, as Severus would surely have done something as soon as the war was over if he had been interested. Lily had periodically considered asking him herself, but she hadn't been able to get up the nerve, for which the former Gryffindor frequently berated herself.

Sighing, Lily decided to try something to see exactly where she stood and asked him, hoping that he would say 'no', "So, Sev, I was heading home yesterday and this new intern in the Department of Muggle Relations asked me if I would be willing to go out with him on a date; would you be comfortable if I did?"

Lily bit her lip and waited, as Severus immediately paused in his eating, then stared at her, brows furrowed, as he thought about it, then he finally said smoothly, "That would be fine, Lily." He then calmly said, "I'm actually a bit full, so I'll just go and see if there is anything I can do about those blasted gnomes..."

Lily's heart sank as Severus, clearly completely fine with the idea of her dating someone else and obviously not interested in her, started to walk outside. She was about to let him go, but, remembering how he had a tendency to conceal his emotions, even from her when they made him vulnerable, save for those few months when they were dating, Lily tried one last time, "Are you absolutely sure about that, Sev? I mean, do you want me to date someone else?"

Severus, shivering slightly, turned around and opened his mouth, saying, "That wou-I don'-" He swallowed, tried to say something else, then finally muttered, hiding his face with his hair as he did so, "No, not really." Lily started to smile as he then continued, "I know it's stupid, considering that you probably forgot about me-"

He likely would have continued, had Lily not interrupted him with a kiss, which had caused him to gasp, which would've bothered her if it weren't for the fact that this gave her the opportunity to shove her tongue into his mouth, while putting her arms around his neck and pulling him in close to her. Clearly getting over his initial surprise in a hurry, he responded to her kiss passionately, until finally, after several minutes, they broke for air, then Severus said, gasping, "You...still want me?"

Lily, panting herself, said, trying to burn his eyes with her stare, "Still." She then corrected herself, "No, not still..." Severus' face seemed to dim, then Lily said into his ear, "Always..."

Eyes lighting up, Severus quickly began kissing her furiously again, removing her robes and causing her to realize that it might just be a good idea to let her head of department know that she would be taking a sick day...

_'OK...Clearly I was mistaken about the lack of passion...'_

* * *

_More time passed, and Lily-prime watched in great interest, wondering what had caused the difference in this time-line from her own. 'I mean, there seemed to be no real change in the beginning, unlike with the rest of the time-lines so far..._

Lily smiled as she brought out a stack of her favorite photos, as well as one album; Severus had clearly just finished from his Potions work, something he relished doing very much now that the awful tremors no longer troubled him, although, to Lily's sometime embarrassment amongst the girls, he still handled all the cooking and cleaning, as he had just plain gotten used to it to the point that it was almost automatic.

Still, there were worse things that her husband could be doing. 'And he really does make an awfully cure house-husband, he-he!' Lily had to work to stifle a giggle as she saw Severus walk into the kitchen with his usual dark brown apron. Still, she smothered it, as she didn't want to tease him when she wanted to persuade him of something. Still, she didn't think that she was entirely successful, as he looked at her with an expression of curiosity...

Nonetheless, Severus had glanced over at the top photograph at the stack and smiled; it had been taken at their wedding during their first dance as a married couple, where Lily had discovered, to her mortification, that her shiver-wracked husband was a far superior dancer, as he had been 'forced' to learn while spending time with the Malfoys when he had been masquerading as a Death Eater. Severus chuckled, then said, pointing at the second photo, "I don't believe that James ever lived that one down..."

Lily glanced down, then laughed, as it had been the part where, in trying to feed Severus the cake, Lily had gotten a little too enthusiastic, resulting in a fair portion of it ending up inside the tuxedo jacket of their best man, James, who, in spite of the mutual loathing during their school years, Severus had been surprisingly accepting of. Although Lily suspected that the fact that James enjoyed throwing several-thousand galleon Bachelor parties might have had something to do with it. Still, chuckling, Lily said, "Wasn't he just the sweetest thing, Sev?"

_Lily-prime suspected that the lack of hostilities between the two men might have been because of how James didn't try to win her over, in spite of his chance; based on the time-lines that she had witnessed so far, it would be something that Severus would have appreciated above all other things James could do for him._

Severus snorted, then watched as Lily pulled out another photo, one of the two of them and Mary Macdonald back during their Hogwarts; in it, Lily was asleep, her head nestled in Severus' lap, while Severus was reading, although he periodically peeked down at her with a small smile, and Mary made gagging noises as she rolled her eyes at the two of them.

Severus then said, chuckling, "In hindsight, I do believe that we were quite nauseous, weren't we?"

Lily made a "Hmmph..." noise, then said after she kissed him on the cheek, "You say nauseous, I say romantically endearing. If it helps, most of the girls of in Gryffindor house were jealous of me having a boyfriend like you..."

Severus raised his eyebrow, then said curiously, "Really...?"

Lily grinned, then said, "Well, not really, but I know that Mary was incredibly jealous of me; besides, a fair portion of those other girls ended up sprogged up before they even finished seventh-year..."

_Lily-prime sighed, remembering how less than a third of the girls in Hogwarts when she left hadn't done it, mainly because of their wish 'not to die a virgin'. Unfortunately, Voldemort or no, having a child without intending to had been a huge problem, especially because abortion was illegal in the Wizarding World, although that didn't stop many of those girls..._

Severus laughed, then said with a smirk of confidence, "Well, I can live with that I suppose...I do wish that we could have told Mary about my real position while we were fighting in the war though..."

Lily then growled, then said with a little huff, poking him in the chest as she did so, "I like Mary and all, but I could certainly have done without this particular scene!" She then pointed at the next picture in the stack, causing Severus to blush madly.

After Voldemort had been killed, the Wizarding World had had weeks of parties, which Lily insisted on dragging Severus to almost every night, wanting to show off how Severus had been a hero all along. In one of these parties, to Severus' embarrassment, while Lily had been chatting with some of her girlfriends, a very drunk Mary had shoved him against the wall and, apparently not realizing that she was in public, had started trying to remove her clothing while snogging him. Unfortunately, that particular incident had apparently been immortalized by Lily's camera.

_Lily raised her eyebrows, surprised that Mary would have gone so far as to do something like that, although, in hindsight, she had always seemed to get rather red-faced while Severus was nearby up until the end of Lily-prime and Severus' friendship. At the time, Lily had thought it was because she hated him, but in hindsight..._

Severus, still red, hid his face in his hair again, then said apologetically, "In my defense, she had my arms pinned while you took that picture; there was very little I could do to stop her..."

Lily gave him a light punch on the arm, then said with a grin, "Well, make sure it doesn't happen again; I could barely keep myself from screeching like a banshee then removing her from you with my fists!" They both chuckled a moment, then Lily said carefully, "Besides, it just wouldn't do for our child to see his or her father locking lips with a woman other than his wife..."

Severus turned, looking at her with a cautious hope, before saying, "I thought that the excessive number of times that I got hit with _Cruciatus _made it impossible..."

Lily looked down sadly, then said quietly, "They did, but I was thinking..." Severus nodded and Lily continued slowly, "We might not be able to conceive children, but that doesn't mean that we can't have a child." She then bit her lip and said quietly, almost inaudibly, "What do you think of adopting one?"

Severus looked at her for a few minutes, starting to say something a few times, but stopping each time. Finally, he said with a shrug, "Well, at least he or she won't have my nose then..."

_'I can't say that's not a surprise; Severus always did hate his nose more than anything else about him...'_

Lily snorted, then hugged him, kissing him on the cheek, before saying, "You won't regret this, Sev..."

He rolled his eyes, but suspected that she might be right...

* * *

_Years passed, and Lily-prime felt that confusion grow, as she still didn't understand what had changed; the change was supposed to have been one that she made, but the only difference she could remember was the end where Severus didn't call her counterpart 'mudblood'. She watched, smirking at the moments where her counterpart and Severus had their rough patches, such as the time that Severus had accidentally gotten Lily's and Mary's hotel rooms crossed when the three friends spent a vacation together, and had started kissing Mary until her counterpart walked in. That had gotten him no less than three weeks in the doghouse, sleeping on the couch, before she had forgiven him._

_Lily-prime, although hating herself for how she was thinking, had almost wished that that incident had been on purpose, and that her counterpart would have been unhappy in the end with Severus, as this Lily, unlike her, had stuck it through to the end, rather than giving up on him at the climax, the make-or-break moment of their relationship. In the other time-lines, Severus had changed either before or after that point, so it didn't bother her, but in this one the change had occured because their friendship had survived. If this Lily had been right, then perhaps it meant that Lily-prime had been wrong to give up..._

_Finally, Lily-prime saw a graveyard, located right outside of Hogwarts, where apparently a great many people had been entombed, including her counterpart and her counterpart's husband..._

_Here Lies Lily and Severus Snape_

_Born: January 30, 1960 Born: January 9, 1960_

_Died: June 25, 1997 Died: June 25, 1997_

_Raised as Best Friends_

_Lived as Lovers_

_Continued as Wife and Husband, __Mother and Father_

_Died as Heroes_

_"Still." "No, not still...Always..."_

* * *

_As the time-line began to fade out, Lily-prime was still confused, until the mirror began to shine again, and it seemed to do split into two scenes of the incident down by the lake. Curious, Lily-prime watched as the events occured identically in both, until there was one slight divergence, which lasted no more than a couple of seconds: in one series of events, she had done exactly what had happened in the time-line she had just viewed, while in the other, for just a second, while she had said the exact same things, she had almost smiled for just a split second._

_In the end of one, Lily and Severus had left the Marauders alone by the lake, although he had blown up at her in private, while in the other the ending had been,_ "I don't need help from filthy Mudbloods like her!"_. Lily-prime started to cry, as she knew that, as much as she hated to admit it, the second time-line had been her own..._

_She then whispered to herself,"It may have been Severus' choice to call me that, but it had been my choice to smile in the first place..."_

_Bursting into tears, Lily-prime cried for what might have been, mourning what she had lost because of just one smile..._

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the extremely slow update; considering the size of each of these chapters, it will probably be a while between each chapter.

I was working on a different seed, but decided that I wanted a particularly unique idea for that seed, so I finished this one up instead.

One of the more unusual changes in this time-line was James' decision; unlike his canon counterpart, he really, truly learned his lesson and he and Severus actually ended up becoming friends, as even Severus had to admire him for not taking his opportunity to win Lily over and believing in Severus when no-one else did.

James' odds of winning Lily in this time-line were actually a fair bit lower than he thought; he would still have a chance, mind you, but Severus would have probably won Lily's heart back in the end. Nonetheless, this James easily made it into the upper sixtieth percentile in the end, a massive change from our dear canon-version.

YOU, the readers will get to vote on which differences at key points in the time-line she sees, as well as suggest other changes she could have made. I won't update this fic too often, as I want to give plenty of time for voting and suggestions.

IN ORDER TO VOTE: Select one or more of the possibilities listed, and include them in either a Review, a PM, or an E-mail. You may vote for as many possibilities as you like, but only once for each possibility.

IN ORDER TO POST A NEW SUGGESTION: List the choice that Lily could have made, and your reasoning, and include it in either a Review, a PM, or an E-mail.

ALL SUGGESTED POSSIBILITIES MUST HAVE BEEN ABLE TO OCCUR IN CANON, AND THEY MUST BE DIFFERENCES IN **_LILY'S_** CHOICES. For example, having James be just a little too late in rescueing Severus during the Werewolf prank is not an option, as Lily didn't make that choice, but having her decide to kiss him once in fifth year, just to see what it would be like, is.

In spite of the listed pairing, not all of the lives she views will have Severus and Lily paired together in the end, although a majority will.

What if Lily actually hexed James and the other Marauders, instead of just yelling at them all the time? 5

Lily decides to kiss Severus once in fifth year, just to see what kissing is like. 3

Outside the portrait hole, when Severus goes up to apologize to Lily, she presses him until he has to answer one way or another, rather than just heading back to her dormitory in disgust. 3

What if she and James had kept Sirius as their secret keeper? 3

When Lily tells Severus off about his friends in fourth year, she attempts to use concrete examples to prove that they are as bad, or worse than, the Marauders. 3

When Severus hints to Lily about Lupin in fourth year, in connection to James' 'heroics', Lily gets curious about the possibility of him being a werewolf rather than dismissing Severus' concerns. 2

After Sev tells her she's a witch, instead of running off with Petunia, she should stay and prod him for further proof. 2

Lily manages to convince the Marauders to stop bullying Severus in third year, before he was that deep in with the future Death Eaters.

Lily drags Severus to a compartment where they can be alone, on their first trip to Hogwarts, so James and Sirius don't hear their talk.

That day by the park when Severus jumps out of the bushes to say 'hi' to Lily and Petunia, Lily decided to stay home instead.

Lily figures out about Lupin being a werewolf before Severus does.

**FEEL FREE TO OFFER MORE!**


	5. On The Dark Side

**The Purgatory of Lily**

**Chapter 5**

**On The Dark Side**

_It is easier to hate the Darkness when you haven't seen it..._

**_Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series._**

'Those time-lines were very odd indeed...' Lily thought to herself as the mirror of Fi-Tahw returned to its 'resting' state.

She still felt more than a little betrayed by her husband, as, like her other self, she had fallen for him partially because of how he had stopped hexing Severus, even though Severus still hexed him if he got the chance to, proving him the 'bigger man'. Although it had gladdened her to see how his counterpart in the time-line she had just viewed had stopped bullying Severus, it still hurt to know that a good portion of their relationship had been based on a lie from the beginning.

It had also made her feel very guilty about how she had been disappointed in Severus as, although he had been drifting more and more towards the Death Eaters in her time-line, one thing that she had hoped for was that, once James had stopped attacking him, the least he could do was stop his attacks in turn, although, even then, Lily had felt that six years of bullying provided a pretty good excuse. Still, she had allowed herself to be deceived as to the fact that James had kept bullying him for more than a year after he had claimed to stop, while blaming Severus for retaliating...

Lily sighed heavily as she thought to herself miserably, 'I ignored the knight's cries for aid and petted the dragon as he set the knight ablaze...what a great example of a true friend I am...I mean, it is true that I was deceived, but I shouldn't have let my doubt in Severus' path affect my judgment in him as a person. I mean, look at that Lily from the time-line I just watched!'

Lily then buried her face in her hands, before saying aloud, nearly shouting, "THAT Lily refused to give up on her best friend, ending up marrying him for crying out loud! I can't believe that I allowed myself to grow so stupid as to give up on him! Sure, it was hard towards the end, but SHE made it work, so what stopped us from doing the same thing!?"

Calming down, Lily then considered the time before the last mirror, biting her lip as she did so," If this mirror shows is true of the previous time-line up until the point that 'I' change paths, no wonder Severus kept trying to hex James when he got the chance, if James had kept up hexing him, only in private. Severus had always been more than a little tight-lipped about how many times he was bullied by them, even while the two of us were still friends, but wouldn't he have told me if they were still doing-"

Lily then sighed, looking down at her lap ruefully, while thinking to herself, 'No, he would have probably figured 'why bother?'; after all, I was the one who cut him out of my life, AFTER he had tried to apologize to me, so why the hell would he think that I would care? Nothing I had said or done would have given him that impression after all...'

Lily laughed bitterly, then resolved to herself, 'If this what I saw is true, then when I see James next, I am going to give him quite the talking to...IF he's lucky that is...'

On the other hand, while Lily had been particularly pleased by how Severus, after receiving her counterpart's friendship, or keeping it as the case may be, had given up on the Death Eaters, she wondered whether it had been solely because of her, or if he would have given up on them in the end even if it hadn't been for her friendship.

One of the things she had always hoped that her Severus would do was give up on the Death Eaters because it was the right thing to do rather than because of her friendship or something like that; unfortunately, in her time-line at least, there had been no signs of that up until her death, so she severely doubted that that was the case...

But on the other hand... 'Does the fact that he did it for my friendship make it any less of a good thing? He at first seemed to be interested in joining the Death Eaters mainly because of the fact that his friends were joining; did that make it any less of a bad thing? I mean, it would have certainly been better if he hadn't joined the Death Eaters and had fought with them because it was the right thing to do, but wouldn't it still be better if he fought against the Death Eaters for the sake of my friendship than him fighting for the Death Eaters, period?'

It was an odd thought, and it seemed to call into question several of her actions back when she had been in Hogwarts; she had always tried to persuade Severus by using arguments of 'They're evil, Sev...' and 'Fighting the Death Eaters is doing the right thing, isn't it?', but he had chosen his friendships with Avery and Mulciber over her arguments until she had finally decided to simply give up on her own friendship with Severus.

While her actions were certainly justifiable in her opinion, knowing what she had known then, perhaps even knowing what she knew now, wouldn't it have been better for all if she had put the question to him with their friendship on the line? It might not have worked, although the previous time-line had seemed to disagree, and, had it succeeded, it wouldn't have for truly altruistic reasons, but the results would have likely justified the means, wouldn't they?

'Still, I wish that I could see a time-line where Severus gave up on the Death Eaters of his own accord rather than because I convinced him to; the one where we were both in Gryffindor was nice, but he wouldn't have faced the same level of temptation there anyway, with all of his friends being Gryffindors rather than Slytherins...'

Sighing, Lily pressed her palm to the Mirror and watched it flashed before reforming again, this time to what seemed like a fairly typical scene in fifth year prior to the Werewolf incident...

* * *

"Did you see the way that Snivellus twitched during the jinx, Padfoot!? I almost thought he was dancing for a moment there!"

"I know, Prongs, I know! It's almost a pity that he's so greasy and slimy that no-one would ever look at him, as he mightn't be a bad dancer!"

Lily glared at Sirius and James from behind, then considered whether or not it was best to assign the arrogant twits a few nights in detention or simply wallop them over the head with something, both because she was a friend of the victim and because she was a prefect. As they started laughing, clearly enjoying the recollections their little prank, Lily was about to tell them off, while tossing in about three days worth of detention, when she thought of something that made her scowl.

Unfortunately, it appeared that near-continuous detentions whenever she caught them had done nothing to make them change their minds, or whatever passed for them, about bullying people, as they were still going on, laughing about it in the halls...Glaring even more hotly at the pair of them, Lily tried to think of a particularly mean punishment, so that they might seriously think about what they were doing...

_Lily-prime sighed in remembrance at this year; one of the reasons that she had wanted to become a prefect in the first place was so that she could get the Marauders to stop their stupid pranking and bullying. Not only were they hexing a lot of her friends, not just Severus, but they were costing Gryffindor house so many points that, in spite of their Quidditch team's great skill, they had been dead last for the House Cup ever since the Marauders had arrived. _

_Unfortunately, it hadn't been until sixth year that they had shaped up...or at least supposedly had, although, now that she thought about it, even before the supposed 'shaping up', they had been more and more careful to make sure that they didn't reveal anything while she was around..._

Not coming up with anything better unfortunately, Lily was about to tap Potter on the shoulder, when he suddenly said, laughing, "I wonder if the greasy git can even move yet; how long do you think that that jinx'll keep going? Another hour?"

"Heh, it doesn't really matter, Prongs! He can always slide along the ground on his own grease I'll bet!"

Lily stood stock-still for a moment, picturing Severus alone on the floor, unable to move, then, forgetting that she was supposed to set a good example, forgetting that her responsibilities ONLY extended to taking points from rulebreakers and forgetting her normal dislike of violence, Lily roared furiously, eyes shining in rage as she pointed her wand straight at Potter's back and shouted, _"DEPULSO! _You bloody, DISGUSTING, WANKER!"

Turning around at the sound of her voice, both boys were far too slow to even consider blocking the blast, which sent them sliding several feet, before falling to the ground with a thud. Quickly getting back up, the two of them said, almost in unison, "What the hell was that for, Evans!?"

Lily, regaining control of herself, was suddenly mortified at how she had forgotten the rules she was supposed to follow as a prefect, even if Potter deserved it, didn't even respond before she ran away, pale as a ghost...

_Lily-prime raised her eyebrows at her counterpart's behavior, but she understood where she was coming from, as she had been tempted more than once to hex the idiots. Still, she had never fallen victim to the temptation, unlike her counterpart; she then watched more closely, interested to see what effects that might have on the time-line..._

Several hours later, Lily was still hiding from the rest of her housemates in the dungeons, afraid of how they might react to her blasting of the perfectly poncy Potter, when she suddenly heard a voice behind her saying quietly, "So...how have you been, Lily? It's nice to see you down in the dungeons for a change..."

Turning quickly, wand drawn as she considered hexing whoever had ambushed her, Lily blushed slightly in embarrassment when she saw Severus sitting there, smirking at her; Lily knew just by looking at him that he had heard the rumors of her loss of control, and that was what his question was referring to, so she said, ashamed, "Not so good, Sev; I shouldn't have lost control like that, but I got so angry when they were talking about you like that..."

Severus smirk grew into a small smile that he was clearly fighting a battle againstas she spoke, and he responded with a chuckle, "Well, prefect duties or no, I must say that I enjoyed very much the sight of Potter falling to the ground before you."

Lily's blush grew as she realized that Severus must have seen her completely losing control, after she had spent so much time trying to set him a better example, but she managed to choke out a response, "Y-you were there?"

Severus then did something that Lily hadn't seen in a good few years: he let out a great laugh and practically beamed at her, tears of mirth falling down his face as he said, still laughing, "Black isn't half as good with a jinx as he thinks...I must say though, I thought it was quite the coincidence that he was carrying Salve of Arousal as he..."

As they continued their conversation, Severus clearly enjoying himself more than he had in ages, Lily began to wonder if hexing the Marauders wouldn't be so bad if it helped correct their behavior, especially if it had this effect on Severus, even if she had no idea why he was enjoying it so much...

_Lily-prime bit back a chuckle for a moment, then sighed ruefully, as she could understand something that her counterpart couldn't: over the course of her time at Hogwarts, Lily had started hanging out with the Marauders more and more, and in fifth year Severus had started to get particularly jealous of James. In hindsight, it made perfect sense, as she had apparently felt some level of attraction for him even then, and Severus must have been desperately afraid that, if she went out with James, she would leave him behind, something that would have been a stupid, baseless assumption..._

_Would have, that is, if it weren't for the fact that, considering she was all but forcing him to give up on HIS friends, he must have thought, in the back of his mind at least, that she would have done the same thing in return, choosing the Marauders' friendship over his. Based on what she had seen in the previous time-line, he must have been desperate, trying anything he could to make her choose him over them, and him over James, not just because he loved her but because he was afraid she would leave him if she ended up with James..._

_'He probably thought that, if I hexed them, he has absolutely nothing to worry about, that he is in the clear and has no foes for my friendship or affections...'_

* * *

_Lily-prime watched interestedly as time passed, in many ways identical to her own, but with two distinct differences: Severus never bothered to go into the Shrieking Shack, and that, frequently, her counterpart would punish the Marauders with a barrage of hexes rather than simply detention when she caught them, and that when she gave them detentions, they were for significantly longer periods of time. At first, Lily-prime could tell that her counterpart felt guilty, but every time she saw Severus' grinning face after she punished the Marauders, it clearly assuaged the guilt quite nicely..._

"What the bloody hell were you thinking, Evans!?"

Lily whirled around, distracted from the book she had been reading on the Hogwarts grounds, and frowned at Sirius Black, who was striding towards her, Remus and Peter in tow, glowering at her as he did so; confused, Lily then said, "Err, what are you talking about, Black?"

Stopping no more than a few feet away from her, making her back up a couple of steps in the process, Sirius then roared in anger, "I'm TALKING about how you gave James, our Quidditch team's CAPTAIN, DETENTION for the big match with Slytherin tomorrow! THAT'S WHAT!"

"Oh, that..." Lily had forgotten about the match tomorrow when she made the detention, but there was no way that she was going to undo it now that she had made the punishment, as that would be the same thing as saying that she had been wrong about James deserving it in the first place, so she said simply, sneering at Sirius as she did so, "...Your point would be? He broke the rules, and he was punished; end of story."

Sirius then snarled at her, face less than a foot from her own, "NO! Not end of story! Get James out of detention now, or else!"

Narrowing her eyes, Lily pretended to think for a moment, then said coldly, relishing how his face looked so crushed, "No, he deserves the punishment; after all, he admitted to hexing a student to the point that he needed to go to the Hospital Wing, missing half a day's worth of classes. Really, he should consider himself lucky that it was only for a week!"

_Lily-prime didn't remember this particular incident, but chalked it up to the time-line's having been altered already, then she watched, interested to see what would happen..._

As Sirius rolled his eyes, Peter walked up next to him and sneered at her too, while Remus looked at her with some embarrassment, before muttering, "Come on guys, she said-"

Peter then interrupted, whining as he waved his arms, "Oh, come on, Evans! It was only Snivellus, and Pomfrey patched him right back up; Quidditch is far more important!"

Boiling with anger at how they had claimed her best friend to be less important than some dumb game, Lily then shrieked, "That is IT! Pettigrew, Black, BOTH of you can JOIN Potter in Detention! Two days EACH!"

Sirius then, eyes widening with anger, shouted as he pulled his wand and pointed it at her, Peter and, with a sigh, Remus doing the same, "What the hell!? You little, traitorous BINT! Are you MAD!? You just benched TWO of our team's starting Chasers! Take it back or I'll hex you!"

Lily, preparing to draw her own wand, shouted, "NO! Go to hell, BLACK!"

Afterward, Lily wouldn't be able to say to sure what exactly had happened, but in a matter of seconds, she had been disarmed, and hung upside-down from a tree; even Remus had joined in on the ganging up, having been the one to disarm her, although he had a guilty look on his face as he did so.

Shouting, Lily gave them all a week's detention, but they left her there hanging, knickers visible thanks to the fact that her robes had fallen down around her head. Not able to see anyone thanks to her vision being obscured, Lily shouted until she was hoarse, hoping for someone to let her down...

_Lily-prime sighed, shaking her head; while she had become very good friends with Sirius in the end, although nowhere near the level she had been with Severus, more than once his hot-headedness had proven quite the problem, as he got angry very, very quickly..._

As time passed, Lily eventually stopped bothering to ask for help, as she could tell that no-one was bothering to do so, even though the sounds of chatter and gossiping were clearly audible less than twenty or so feet from her. She tried to ignore the headache that she felt pounding in her skull, and tried to think of something that could help her get out of this STUPID predicament. Finally, she had come upon the idea of asking someone to tell Severus, when she heard the voices of a pair of her friends, Alexandra Gregory and Sabrina Percival talking,

"I can't believe that Sirius would stoop so low, leaving her like that!"

"Nor can I, Sabrina, but you do have to admit that she kinda deserved it, what with her choosing her Slytherin boyfriend over Gryffindor..."

"True..."

Although Severus, and, to her surprise, Mulciber, pulled her back down less than two minutes later, only ten minutes since the prank was pulled, Lily would never forget what she had heard while she was hung from a tree; in hindsight, she didn't blame the Marauders all that much, especially considering that SHE had been out of line in giving out that two-day detention merely for talking bad about Severus, but she had never thought that her friends would have gone so far as to say that she deserved to be humiliated for the sake of one blasted game...

_Lily-prime grimaced, knowing that nothing like that had never happened in her time-line, but she also knew that, unlike her friendships with Severus, and later, the Marauders, her friendships with most of her schoolmates had been rather superficial, ending almost as soon as graduation hit, so this didn't really surprise her. Still, she wouldn't be surprised if her counterpart had been very hurt by this..._

* * *

_As time passed, Lily-prime noticed a change in her counterpart's behavior: although she still smiled and said 'hello!' and 'how are you doing?' to them, she had started generally avoiding most of the people who had made up Lily-prime's corp of friends, glaring at them whenever they weren't looking in her direction. Unfortunately, this caused a rather large lack of friends for her, something that she wasn't too experienced in dealing with, until one day..._

"Come on, Lily, it won't be that bad, I swear!"

"I dunno, Sev, this doesn't seem like such a good idea..."

"Lily, you've been pestering me about them for years; why not give them a shot? It can't hurt after all..."

"...Fine."

Having nothing better to do, since she was still avoiding most of her so-called 'friends', Lily followed him over to the oak tree by the lake where he had agreed to meet Avery and Mulciber. Both of them looked at her with suspicion and, especially in Avery's case, dislike, but they didn't say anything and let her sit with them.

Lily, if anyone had asked her, would have expected the conversation to sound something like "MUDBLOODS SUCK!", and "SLYTHERIN FOR THE CUP!", at least on the part of Severus' friends, but, to her surprise, the three were simply studying, then chatting about Avery's latest crush, Celeste Greengrass. Severus had even gotten a little red in the face when Avery had suggested that he get himself a piece, blushing cutely as he glanced over at Lily in embarrassment...

_Lily-prime raised her eyebrows; in her time as Severus' friend, she had made it a point to avoid any of his friends, as she had thought them to be 'just plain creepy', so it was honestly somewhat surprising to see how normal they were, even if they later became murdering monsters..._

Lily wouldn't admit it aloud, but she had actually quite enjoyed herself, simply watching them and listening to the conversation even though she couldn't say that she approved how Avery seemed to think of girls. Soon, they were all getting ready to go, when Lily remembered something and, pulling Mulciber to the side, then said, "Erm...Arcturus, was it? I just realized that I never got around to thanking you for what happened last year, rescuing me I mean."

Mulciber just rolled his eyes and said coolly, hands in the pockets of his robes, "Your heritage might be...unfortunate, but that still does not excuse what happened to you; besides, you are Severus' friend after all..."

Surprised, Lily then swallowed and, in an effort to give herself time to figure out what to say, looked over at Severus, who seemed to be having an animated discussion with Avery, mostly on Avery's part; Lily had to stop herself from giggling when Avery took both of his hands, cupped them, and held them both about a foot from his chest, while Severus glanced back at her, rolling his eyes, then said something that Lily couldn't quite hear.

Still smiling from Avery's antics, Lily then said, "Still, thank you very much, Arcturus..."

Mulciber then seemed to weigh her, watching her appraisingly, before he said calmly, "He seems to like you a lot, doesn't he? Severus that is..."

Confused, Lily cocked her head to the side and said, raising her eyebrows in annoyance, "Er...We are best friends after all, duh..."

Mulciber smiled slightly, arrogantly, then replied with a tone of smug superiority, "Indeed, 'best friends'..."

_'I have to ask, did EVERYONE know that Severus had a crush on me?' Lily-prime put her face in her hands and laughed wryly at the thought of how it seemed that everyone she knew in the time-lines she had seen up till now had seemed to realize it and she had completely missed it..._

He then chuckled and walked away, with Avery following him, now on the subject of Celeste's perfect hips and thighs 'Which could crush a walnut or most men between them!'. Rolling her eyes, Lily turned toward Severus and said, smiling, "Your friends...aren't that bad I suppose...Although their attitude towards women is completely reprehensible."

Severus laughed, a short laugh mind you, but it was a nice sounding one, then said with one of his trademark smirks, "Well, at least they are better than Potter and Black...Let's go to lunch now, OK?"

Grinning, Lily grabbed him by the hand and started pulling him toward the Great Hall; it wasn't until she had made it halfway there that she realized that she was still holding his hand, but she did nothing about it, still holding onto it, save for lightly blush...

* * *

_As time passed, Lily-prime watched as, while she never really got involved with the Death Eaters in any way, her counterpart did attend several parties thrown by Voldemort's supporters, always with Severus. Lily-prime found it rather interesting how, in spite of the fact that she knew what they would later be doing, they managed to downplay the hatred of Muggles and make it sound like a typical Pureblood political party. In hindsight, it explained why so many of the Pureblood families had been supportive of the Dark Lord until he had really started on his massacres..._

"Lily, please, just give me a chance! Trust me, I'll be way better than that greasy g-"

"No means NO, POTTER! I said it before, and I'll say it again, sod off and stop insulting my BOYFRIEND!"

"Come on, Lily! I know that I was pretty bad in the past, but I've changed, really I have!"

Lily sighed, then she said coolly, "Really? And I suppose that the fact that you haven't stopped hexing my boyfriend every chance you get is a sign of this change? Really Potter, you've changed, just not in any way that matters..."

James then said, pleadingly, "Listen, as proof I changed, I saved Snape's life last night; he was following my friends and I around and got himself in some trouble, then I risked my own life to save him, honest! Ask Dumbledore if you don't believe me, he'll say the same thing!"

_Lily-prime recognized this conversation, although, from what she could recall, it was in fifth year when they had it, rather than seventh year, and wondered what had caused the change in when it occured..._

Lily then said, contemplatively, "You know, I heard that he came very close to getting killed, so I have to admit that it was brave of you to save him, assuming that you were doing it out of the goodness of your heart..."

James nodded eagerly, only for Lily to continue in a voice that was positively ice-cold, "...But even if you WERE telling the truth about doing it out of the 'goodness of your heart'," Lily sneered as she made air-quotes, then continued furiously, "What you just tried to pull is incredibly, disgustingly despicable! You know, I talked to Severus last night, and he told me how he had been following you guys because of Black's little idea of a 'joke', as well as his interest in what the two of you were doing with Remus..."

She then looked at James with a great deal of disappointment and disgust visible in her face, while he tried to get his mouth to work, "Even if you were being honest in this conversation so far about your doing this for Severus' benefit, you know as well as I do that it was a prank staged by Black which came THIS close to killing Severus in the first place, thanks to the little-known fact that Remus is a BLOODY WEREWOLF! Did you really think that I would be impressed by the fact that you think that it is all fine and dandy for you to tell me half-truths, at BEST, as long as I don't find out about them!?"

_Lily-prime frowned, having never thought about it like that before, even though James had admitted before he had died about Remus having been the creature that Severus had run into and it being because of a prank. Her counterpart was right about one thing: even if James HAD been innocent in the prank and helping Severus out of the goodness of his heart, both things which she had to admit that she wasn't sure about, he had told her only a half-truth, trying to make himself look good. It wasn't an unforgivable crime, but it was still pretty scummy of him..._

_Really, in all honesty, Severus was the one who came out looking the best from that situation, as he had had the opportunity, regardless of what Dumbledore had said, to get Remus kicked out of school and reveal the truth to her, simply by revealing to a few Slytherins the fact that Remus was a werewolf, but he didn't. Admittedly, he had hinted a little about it to her, but that was it..._

James then shouted back, embarrassed, "Hey, if I told you the whole truth, you might have revealed that Remus was a...you-know-what, to the whole school! What should I have said!? Besides, Dumbledore swore Snape to secrecy about Remus' furry little problem! He shouldn't have told you! Besides, whatever Sirius might have done, Snape is going to be a Death Eater in the end and you know it!"

Lily then rolled her eyes and said, softly, kindly, "James, in order, if you couldn't tell me the whole truth, you should have just said nothing, he didn't tell me, but I figured it out from how Sev mentioned following you guys because of his curiosity about Remus, especially after I confronted him, and, lastly, I've accepted that possibility, and I don't mind it, really I don't. I mean, sure they dislike Muggleborns, but they are willing to help Sev, and he certainly doesn't dislike us, so it's really not all that big of a deal..."

Deciding that now wasn't a good time to get into an argument, James decided to divert the conversation back to its original point and said, putting his hand on her shoulder as he did so, "Lily, let's not argue about this; I just want to show you that I'm the guy for-"

Lily then interrupted him, saying quietly, kindly, "James, I'm sorry, but it just isn't going to happen. I'll admit that I feel some attraction to you, and if things were different, I might even have considered you, but I love Severus, and I know that I will be happy to spend the rest of my life with him..."

James then said passionately, putting his other hand on her other shoulder, "What things!? I would change for you if you wanted to, really! If that's all-"

Lily put her finger to his lips, then slowly pushed him away, saying regretfully, "James, I'm sorry, but there is nothing you can change; I'm happy with Severus, really I am; after all, I am engaged to him, and even if I weren't happy with him, I couldn't be with someone who thinks that bullying my best friend is a good way to pass the time." Lily then gave him a peck on the cheek, and whispered "Goodbye, James...", before running, back down into the dungeons, leaving James standing in the corridor, looking dismally in her direction...

_Lily-prime recognized that situation, as she remembered how, in early sixth-year, she had started to have a crush on James, but she hadn't acted on it because, even though their friendship was dissolved, she had hated how James was bullying Severus merely 'because he exists', as well as the fact that he was generally an arrogant prat. It hadn't been until after James had changed and supposedly stopped bullying Severus that she had decided to take a chance and see where it would go..._

* * *

_Time passed, and like she had told James, the two of them had swiftly gotten married, no more than a few months after school, with Severus joining the Death Eaters at basically the same time. Things seemed to go similarly to Lily-prime's time-line, with the Death Eaters slowly but surely showing their true colors, until..._

Lily frowned down at the soup she was making; she couldn't say that she enjoyed cooking all that much, but it was the closest she could get to her beloved potions now that she was pregnant, as the potion-fumes frequently were rather toxic to the unborn. Still, it would only be temporary, as, based on the assumed date of conception, she would be having the baby in mid-August, and it was already March.

She never did care much for the idea of being a domestic house-wife, and Severus knew it, so the two of them had agreed to divvy down the chores pretty much 50-50, and both followed through on doing their fair share. Normally, it was Severus' job to cook, but the Dark Lord had called him tonight, so Lily was taking care of it for him, although she knew that he would make it up to her when he got back.

She then smirked, thinking to herself about a conversation she had had with Narcissa the week prior, 'Ironic, Sev took so much pride in being independent as a teenager, doing everything himself, that his willingness to do so much of the houshold chores made Narcissa think that I had him whipped!'

_Lily-prime chuckled at that, remembering one incident when, while Severus was staying at her house, one of her friends had asked her why her mom always made her brother do all the chores... 'He always was a bit of a neat freak, even if he didn't take care of himself as much as he should have...'_

Her smile faded though as she remembered the rest of the conversation; while Severus' job as a Death Eater had, thus far, seemed to have been mostly making potions for the Dark Lord, Narcissa had told her of how Lucius had been fighting on the front lines.

When she had opted to throw her lot in with Severus and the Death Eaters, Lily had come to think of them as more or less one side fighting in a war, an opinion shared by many of the Dark Lord's early supporters. Even if they had some prejudices that she disagreed with, their side consisted of her friends like Severus, Narcissa and, to her surprise, Arcturus, so she had decided to deal with them, much like Severus did.

However, as time had passed, and tales of the periodic killings of Muggleborns and Muggles had increased in both number and viciousness, she had started to think that perhaps her original opinions had been right after all, as there were far too many of these atrocities happening to be merely the result of a few extremists, as she had first thought...

_Lily-prime remembered those times, back when the war had first begun and the Death Eaters were seen as just another group fighting in a civil war by many people; only in the Order of the Phoenix were many of their true crimes known early on..._

Suddenly she heard the crack of apparition coming from the living room and turned, only to see Severus standing there, looking down at the floor, his hair obscuring the expressions of his face from view. For several seconds he just stood there, his black robes appearing to droop slightly, rather than emphasize him like they normally did, and he seemed to shrink slightly, ashamed.

Walking over to her husband, Lily wasn't quite sure what to say so she simply said softly, putting a hand on his cheek, "Sev...?"

He turned his face to look at her, and Lily's eyes widened, as she hadn't seen him look like this since the death of his mother; Severus wasn't crying, but his eyes appeared wet, and he looked incredibly pale, mouth partially open. Anguish and horror had mixed together and made his face their home, as he looked at her as if he was pleading for something.

Finally he said thickly, putting his hands on the one that she was holding his cheek with, "I guess...you were right after all; you know, back when we were arguing about my 'evil friends'. I..."

He stopped talking for several seconds, and Lily guided him over to the forest green couch nearby, sitting down and putting his head in her lap, where she stroked his hair gently, not minding the grease he always had from making his potions; after all, he had always done his best to stay clean, but between the fact that his head seemed to be a natural grease factory and the fumes of the potions he was working on almost every day, he was never able to quite remove it all.

Finally, Severus swallowed, laying down on the couch, and said quietly, "I always thought 'Hey, these people are nice to me and are so helpful to me, my best friends other than you even, so how can they be evil?', you know? I mean, I knew that they were bullies, much like Potter, to some people, but how could people who were so nice to me, the poor, half-blood loser, be really evil?"

Lily didn't say anything, just let him talk, feeling apprehension twisting in her gut as he did so, continuing, "I mean, I know that killing is necessary in a war, and I heard that some of the extremists were...doing things, but I didn't think..."

He then shuddered, and Lily knew that it wasn't from the cold, then Severus said, "Tonight, I saw...remember the Gregory girl? She was there, naked, floating in midair, and I saw them taking turns using the _Cruciatus _on her, and that wasn't even the worst of it... Even when she begged them to kill her or tell her something, anything that she could tell them that would be useful to them, just to take the pain away...they just laughed and continued hitting _Crucio_'ing her, until finally she died from the sheer pain..."

_Lily-prime thought this to be particularly interesting, especially considering what she had witnessed in the second time-line, where Severus had seemed to want to have his enemies suffer and die, but upon reflection, it wasn't so strange, as it was certainly a lot easier to want someone to suffer than to actually go about causing it..._

Severus continued talking as horror rushed over her; the meaning of the words seemed to flow right past her, but she kept stroking his hair nonetheless, trying to help him get past what he had witnessed...

* * *

_Time passed again, and this time, with James having married a pure-blood girl, Sabrina Percival, Voldemort had chosen to attack the Longbottoms again; this time, although he didn't intend to show them any mercy, Frank Longbottom had come up with a clever plan to allow Alice to make use of the Blood-charm to protect Neville: he swore allegiance to Voldemort on the condition that he spare Alice's life, which allowed her to use the charm to save Neville when he offered to let her live... _

_In hindsight, this made Lily-prime want to slap herself for not thinking of that idea herself, but it had worked out in the end she supposed. One thing that she thought to be quite interesting was the fact that Severus, although a Death Eater, had only been sentenced to ten years in Azkaban, rather than the life sentence that many of his cohorts received..._

Severus swallowed, watching as Lily and his daughter, Violet, left him, guarded only by Lily's Patronus, a doe like his own. Unfortunately, Azkaban only allowed visitors once a week, and for only one hour at a time, so he didn't get to see them as often as he would have liked, but it was still the highlight of his week when they came.

He loved them both with all of his heart, and he knew that, if it came down to it, he would throw his life away for them without even a second thought, not that he would ever tell them that. Ironically, they, plus his fear for his own life, were the only reasons that he hadn't left the Death Eaters after what happened to Alexandra Gregory, as he wouldn't have been able to take it if they had died because he was off trying to play the hero.

He smiled then, remembering those few, cherished months when he had been able to be a father to Violet, right before Voldemort had died; Violet, even when she was still a little girl, had always been very much like her father, both in personality and, unfortunately, in looks. Although she had been thankfully spared his nose, which he STILL needed to get fixed, and had her mother's coloring of hair, she shared his perpetually greasy hair and extremely dark eyes.

Even so, he thought that she was a very beautiful young lady, and was sure that, assuming nothing else happened, she would probably be beating off the boys with a stick in a few years. 'Or, if she permits me, I could do it for her...' He grinned a rather nasty little grin, as he, like he had been with Lily when they were growing up, was very protective of the people he cared about, and he took a rather cruel enjoyment at mentally scarring those who tried to harm them.

_Lily-prime chuckled, remembering how, after her first 'boyfriend' had dumped her, Severus had given him some salt-water mixed with red food-coloring and told him that he had just drank a poison that gave him twenty-four hours to live unless he took off his pants and shirt, then ran all the way across school, yelling that he was the child of a niffler and a pygmy puff. The boy had believed him too..._

Lily had grown even more beautiful in Severus' eyes, as she seemed even more like an angel in human form to him than she had when they were growing up; the years had given her a wisdom that, quite frankly, she hadn't had when she was young and hampered by her naivete and black-and-white view of the world, although her propensity for vindictiveness when angered hadn't decreased much.

Severus then chuckled, remembering a tale that Violet had told him of how, when she had complained about her peanut butter sandwiches always being too warm when she ate them at school, telling Lily that it made her a bad mommy, Lily had used a charm to freeze them to the point that they were more like sandwiche-shaped blocks of ice, forcing Violet to eat cafeteria food for once...

His smile then faded as he returned his thoughts to where they had been before his two favorite girls had come into his 'dark lair'; while, unlike many of the inmates, he was relatively resistant to the effects of the Dementors, thanks to his skills in Occlumency, it didn't mean that he didn't spend a lot of time thinking about what he had done during his time as a Death Eater.

_Lily-prime began to listen, interested, as this was the first time-line she had witnessed where Severus had become, to her knowledge, a Death Eater, and she wanted to see what he had thought about it..._

While, admittedly, he hadn't ever taken part in the tortures and murders personally, he had been the one to deliver the prophecy of a child who could defeat the Dark Lord to Voldemort, causing him to be responsible for Alice Longbottom's death, as well as those of whichever people the poisons he brewed were used upon. Intellectually, Severus knew that, if he hadn't brewed them, then the Death Eaters would have simply had someone else brew said poisons, but it didn't change the fact that he had been the one to make them...

Although no-one but Lily knew, Severus kept a picture of Alice Longbottom, the woman whose death he had been personally responsible for; unlike many of his classmates, Alice hadn't laughed at his suffering at the hands of the Marauders, even helping him a few times. She couldn't do all that much to help, as the Marauders, over time, had become too clever to allow themselves to get caught by the teachers directly, so only detentions could be assigned to them, and even then, only when caught by non-sympathetic prefects...

It was because of this that Severus, although truly hating the risk that it might cause his family in the long run, had made his choice; when he left Azkaban, he would become a Ministry Mole, giving them whatever evidence he could find that would enable them to put the other Death Eaters, who had somehow managed to get themselves out of Azkaban, behind bars...

_'Severus...I must say that I am proud of your counterpart...'_

* * *

_Eventually, Severus was released from prison, midway through May of Violet's first year at Hogwarts, then was welcomed home in a way that made Lily-prime turn as red as her hair, as he and her counterpart apparently had ten years of 'enjoying each other's company' to make up for. Finally, their daughter returned home from Hogwarts after her first year, causing Lily-prime to sigh in relief, as she had been mercifully spared most of their...mutual enjoyment thus far, so it was quite mortifying to see how...competent Severus was and just how loud her counterpart could scream..._

Violet Snape grinned as she snuggled into her father's chest, loving the chance to hug him for the first time in years, as, even when she visited him in Azkaban, the most she could to was touch his hand through the bars. After spending several minutes doing nothing but hugging him, she finally said, "You know dad, you really don't look so good, kinda exhausted now that I think about it; has mum been taking care of you?"

For some reason, mum's face turned beet-red as Severus smirked at her and said, dryly, "Trust me, Vi, your mother has most definitely been taking VERY good care of me; the problem is that she rarely sto-"

Lily then covered her husband's mouth with her hand and said, clearly embarrassed for whatever reason, then said, after glaring for a moment at him, "Er, sweetie, let's hear about your school year first; don't worry about your dad, he is most assuredly fine..."

_Lily-prime was almost as embarrassed as her counterpart, and for the same reason: she knew EXACTLY why Severus was so exhausted, having been forced to watch the reason why..._

Frowning at them, Violet decided to drop it for the moment and said, slowly, "Well, you'll be happy to know that I made top scores out of my whole year, although my best girlfriend came VERY close to beating me; her name was Hermione Granger, and she's very nice, even if she is a bit of a know-it-all, and has a crush on this complete MORON by the name of Ron Weasley..."

As her father rolled his eyes, muttering something about 'she's too young...', her mother put her hand on his shoulder and said, smirking, "And are there any boys that YOU have a crush on, Violet?"

As mortified as her father, who looked like mum had decided to impale him with his own nose, Violet blushed and said, "No way! I mean, sure, there is Harry, who is kinda cute, nice, smart, funny...but there is no-one I like in THAT way, honest!"

_'I have to wonder, if that 'Harry' is who I think it is, and he was my son in my original time-line, does that mean that it's incestuous for Violet to be interested in him?' Lily-prime then shrugged, not really wanting to go into that topic..._

Lily then said, grinning mischieviously, "And would this happen to be the same 'Harry' that you invited over to our house this summer by any chance?"

Severus then said, seeming rather perturbed, "Who is this Harry, anyway? Is he one of your friends in Gryffindor?"

Violet, hoping to end the conversation said as quickly as possible, "Um, his name's Harry Potter, he's a Slytherin, and yes he is one of my friends. Nowgoodbyemumanddad,I'vegottago!" Saying the last so fast that she was sure that none of them would understand her, Violet quickly bolted from her father's lap and raced toward the stairs, hoping to get up them before her face resembled a giant tomato with red hair.

As she made it to the top of the stairs, she heard her father burst into howling gales of laughter, saying something that sounded like, "P-Potter! S-Slytherin! Best n-news! Years!"

_'Now THAT I can see...' Lily-prime laughed along with Severus, just picturing the look of sheer mortification that would have fallen on James' face if he knew that his son was destined to be a Slytherin..._

* * *

_Years passed, and unlike some of the other time-lines she had witnessed, Voldemort never returned to power, for whatever reason. However, Lily-prime was glad to see that Severus was responsible for no less than five arrests of former-Death Eaters, including Lucius, who he had had a falling out with after hearing about his involvement with Violet's near-death in her second year, on account of a diary. Finally, she saw..._

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness..."

"I still say that she gets it from your side of the family, Sev..."

"No Lily, clearly it's from your side..."

Even though both of them were clearly enjoying the wedding, more or less, Lily and Severus were still enjoying the same inside joke that they had talked about ever since Violet and Harry had started dating back in fifth year. Although neither would be winning any beauty awards, both had aged fairly well, and seemed to enjoy acting like they were still in their twenties, a great source of embarrassment to Violet, who had to listen to the two of them bickering from where they were sitting.

_Lily-prime smiled, recognizing that same bickering from when she and Severus were in school; it wasn't exactly an arguing sort of bickering, as neither really cared who was right, but both had always been quite stubborn, even as children..._

Not much caring for the traditional style of wedding, where the father 'gave away' his daughter, Violet had opted for a simpler wedding, only bringing a few guests, including her friends Hermione Granger, Neville Longbottom, and Ginny Weasley, the first two of which had started dating back in seventh year, having bonded over Herbology and, in Neville's case, lack of potions skills.

Violet still didn't know why her father and mother seemed to enjoy this argument so much, as she knew that her dad seemed to like Harry, which her mum had said was quite a surprise considering how much he had hated Harry's dad in school. Frankly, it was beginning to get on Violet's nerves, as, while quiet, they were just loud enough for her to hear them from where she was standing.

Finally having enough, as they repeated their argument for the thousandth time, Violet slowly drew her wand, planning to silence them, only for Harry to shake his head, before whispering, calming her with his twinkling brown eyes, "Look at it this way, at least it's better than how my dad has acted so far..."

Violet thought for a moment, then nodded, putting her wand back and whispering in reply, as the long-winded minister droned on, "Indeed, at least they haven't boycotted the wedding..."

Harry then whispered with a smirk, barely moving his lips so that the watching people wouldn't notice, "Yeah, he still refuses to accept that I'm marrying the daughter of his old school rival..."

Violet nodded, thinking that it was childish that both of their fathers had, even after more than twenty YEARS, refused to give up on their schoolboy grudges, then she noticed someone sitting in the back of the church and scowled, before muttering, "I still can't believe that you let that arrogant prat, Draco Malfoy, come to our wedding..."

_'Just like her father...' Lily-prime thought with a small smile_

Then she shrugged, figuring that it was alright in the end, just as long as Harry didn't bring that slimeball to their honeymoon...

* * *

_As the time-line faded, Lily-prime thought to herself a bit about what she had learned; she had been surprised by the fact that, upon actually meeting them, her counterpart had actually grown to like the Death Eaters, at least until they had shown their true colors, but it actually made sense when she thought about it._

_Like she had told James while they were dating, and he grumbled about how Severus was still being a slimeball and hexing him without provocation, whenever he got the chance, it was very easy to hate someone if you never got the time to know them. After all, from what she had seen in this time-line, in spite of their prejudices, many of the Death Eaters had been regular kids, although Bellatrix had always scared most people, even as a teen..._

_It also explained why Severus had been so surprised, in that time-line, when the Death Eaters had shown themselves to be as bad as they were..._

_The other thing that confused Lily-prime was how the Death Eaters had seemed to mean different things to Severus in this time-line than it had in the previous ones, but in hindsight it made sense, as, prior to the war's heating up, the Death Eaters had tried to be, in many ways, all things to all pure-bloods/half-bloods, in their efforts to recruit as many as they could. If Severus, not worrying much about the Marauders or wanting much in the way of revenge, was baited with the ability to take revenge, it wouldn't have worked nearly as well as in the time-lines she had viewed earlier where he almost joined them..._

_She did wish though that Severus had changed sides in her own time-line, for whatever reason..._

**Author's Note: **I'm sure that it might come as a shock to many that Lily, in this time-line, didn't care all that much about what some of the Death Eaters were doing, but consider this: it is a LOT easier to do the right thing when it involves people you care about, and will appreciate it. In this time-line, Lily grew apart from all of her former friends, Muggleborn and otherwise, even hating some of them.

She and Severus didn't know just how bad the Death Eaters were when she joined, as she had grown to disbelieve many of the rumors about them, so it merely looked like another side in a Civil War, albeit with some prejudices...

Don't get me wrong, this is a very special case, and was VERY unlikely to happen, but in one case, it did...

As for the pairings of Hermione and Harry being so different: Harry and Ginny never became close, partially because he and Ron were enemies during school, and, while Ron's insult occured like in canon, there was no troll in the bathroom to cause Hermione and Ron to become friends, so Hermione eventually got over him...

**_I have decided to end this fic after a total of four more One-shots, and an epilogue, so be warned!_**

YOU, the readers will get to vote on which differences at key points in the time-line she sees, as well as suggest other changes she could have made. I won't update this fic too often, as I want to give plenty of time for voting and suggestions.

IN ORDER TO VOTE: Select one or more of the possibilities listed, and include them in either a Review, a PM, or an E-mail. You may vote for as many possibilities as you like, but only once for each possibility.

IN ORDER TO POST A NEW SUGGESTION: List the choice that Lily could have made, and your reasoning, and include it in either a Review, a PM, or an E-mail.

ALL SUGGESTED POSSIBILITIES MUST HAVE BEEN ABLE TO OCCUR IN CANON, AND THEY MUST BE DIFFERENCES IN **_LILY'S_** CHOICES. For example, having James be just a little too late in rescueing Severus during the Werewolf prank is not an option, as Lily didn't make that choice, but having her decide to kiss him once in fifth year, just to see what it would be like, is.

In spite of the listed pairing, not all of the lives she views will have Severus and Lily paired together in the end, although a majority will.

Outside the portrait hole, when Severus goes up to apologize to Lily, she presses him until he has to answer one way or another, rather than just heading back to her dormitory in disgust. 6

When Lily tells Severus off about his friends in fourth year, she attempts to use concrete examples to prove that they are as bad, or worse than, the Marauders. 4

Lily decides to kiss Severus once in fifth year, just to see what kissing is like. 3

What if she and James had kept Sirius as their secret keeper? 3

When Severus hints to Lily about Lupin in fourth year, in connection to James' 'heroics', Lily gets curious about the possibility of him being a werewolf rather than dismissing Severus' concerns. 3

After Sev tells her she's a witch, instead of running off with Petunia, she should stay and prod him for further proof. 3

When Sev says his father "doesn't like anything much" Lily becomes concerned and decides to delve deeper into this issue and help in some way, as opposed to continuing with the questions on Azkaban. 2

Lily figures out about Lupin being a werewolf before Severus does. 1

What if Lily had simply forgiven Severus after the incident by the lake? 1

Lily manages to convince the Marauders to stop bullying Severus in third year, before he was that deep in with the future Death Eaters.

Lily drags Severus to a compartment where they can be alone, on their first trip to Hogwarts, so James and Sirius don't hear their talk.

That day by the park when Severus jumps out of the bushes to say 'hi' to Lily and Petunia, Lily decided to stay home instead.


	6. Gratitude, Jealousy and Manipulation

**What if? The Purgatory of Lily**

**Chapter 6**

**Gratitude, Jealousy and Manipulation**

_Perhaps Sev was far more grateful than I thought..._

**_Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series._**

Looking apprehensively at the mirror again, Lily had to wonder to herself something: why was it that in so many of the time-lines she had seen, rather than ending up with James, she ended up with Severus? I mean, sure she had had some small amount of attraction for him in her own time-line, but why was it that every time-line where her counterpart ended up marrying him, she looked so secure and confidant of her future? In contrast, both in her own time-line and the one where she ended up with James, she had had quite a few doubts...

'Maybe it was because Severus and I knew each other so very well, better than anyone really, although I did miss the fact that he was in love with me, for years apparently...' Lily then thought for a moment, 'Maybe that knowledge of each other was what made the difference; my counterparts who married Severus had spent far more time with him than I had ever spent with James. I mean, James and I weren't even good friends until the end of sixth year...'

Lily had a feeling though that she might have been missing something, but in the end she shrugged, thinking to herself, 'Speaking of Severus being in love with me, I wonder what Severus would have said when I asked him what made me different than everyone else he insulted, had I given him more time to respond? Would he have confessed his feelings for me then?'

Deciding that she needed to know more before she came to a conclusion, she simply pressed her palm to the mirror again and watched as the colors swirled; they then reformed with a flash as a particularly infamous scene in her own mind, after the incident by the lake when she had given up on Severus, too furious to try any harder...

* * *

"...Slipped out? It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can even understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends...you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"

Severus opened his mouth to deny it, but couldn't; he really did want to join the Dark Lord and make something of himself, do something worthwhile and show Lily that he could be a truly great person, someone she could be point at and say "I'm proud to call myself his friend.". He just needed to take some time to explain to her that it wasn't how she thought. Just because some rotten people, like Bellatrix Lestrange, were Death Eaters didn't mean that they were all bad...

Then Lily continued mercilessly, "I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

Severus started to panic, saying desperately, hoping against hope that something, anything, would help stop the death of their friendship he could see hurtling toward him like the Hogwarts Express, "No...Listen. I didn't mean-"

"-to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

Severus struggled on the verge of speech, but realized that she was right; not about the 'everyone of her birth' thing as he didn't even think of her that way, but about how he had messed everything up, ruining their friendship. He had sworn never to hurt her like his dad hurt his mum, and had told her that it didn't make a difference being Muggleborn, and now he had just insulted his best friend for her heritage. He was scum, just like his father, and she was well shot of him.

True, she had been flirting with Potter during the incident, but he knew that it was unintentional; she hadn't meant to hurt him, not really, but he had called her a...he didn't even want to think of the word anymore. He had deliberately tried to hurt her, even if he hadn't intended to use that word, making him a monster just like Tobias. He had seen the man claim time and again that he loved his mum, then beat her whenever he got angry, and Severus was just as despicable as he was...

_Tears were running down Lily-prime's face as she listened to Severus' thoughts; she had been so angry, so furious, so hurt, that when he had come up to apologize she hadn't even noticed how he was feeling. All she had cared about was how hurt she had been, shouting at him in her anger and barely even listening to what he was saying. Right now, she felt even scummier than Severus believed himself to be, and at least as sorry..._

Lily considered leaving her traitorous ex-best friend there, then going back inside as she had said her piece, but she honestly wanted to make him hurt even more so he could see how she felt; as such she glared up and said nastily to him, "Well, Severus? Admit it, you DESPISE me for being a Muggleborn, don't you? I mean, even Potter would never call me a Mudblood, so why should YOU be worthy of forgiveness? Why should I be friends with someone who thinks that my heritage is muddy and slimy like you do?"

Severus bowed his head shamefully, saying nothing for several minutes, before he replied in a choked whisper, "I don't think any of those things about you, Lily, really I don't. In fact..." He swallowed, before continuing quietly, "...I swear that I will never use that word ever again, for any reason, not that it matters much at this point..."

He then turned away and said quietly, "In fact, I...I'll just go now and leave you to it then; just...just promise me you won't hate me, Lily. I know that it's unforgivable, but I never meant to...nevermind I'm just scum..." He then started to trudge towards the staircases down to the dungeons.

For about two seconds, Lily felt really good about how he looked so broken, as misery truly does love company; however, she soon started to feel more than a little guilty. She had been hurting so badly that she had decided to dump him before drawing her 'line in the sand' like she had planned; just a couple of minutes ago, it had felt like such a relief to have that issue finally dealt with once and for all, but he seemed to actually intend to stop using the word. Maybe it meant that she wasn't wasting her time after all...

_Lily-prime remembered how she had doubted what she was doing almost as soon as she had stepped back inside the portrait hole, but Severus had given her nothing to go on that would cause her to hope... 'Not that I really gave him a chance to do so; I knew how he could get flustered really easily when it came to me, but kept berating without giving him much of a chance to respond...' I hope that things go differently with this Lily..._

Lily then ran after him as he was about to go out of sight and called out "Wait, Sev!", causing him to turn around and look at her with a thoroughly miserable expression on his face. Feeling even more guilty by the second, Lily panted slightly, then said calmly, "IF I were to forgive you, then what would it be worth to you?"

Severus looked at her for a moment, a very faint spark of hope appearing on his face, then he whispered, "Anything..."

Lily smiled a little, then listed her conditions...

* * *

_Lily-prime had a sinking feeling as time passed; while she would have once agreed with all three of the conditions her counterpart set (Severus not joining the Death Eaters, giving up on his Death Eater friends and stopping his retaliatory attacks on the Marauders), her opinions had shifted drastically on the middle one of those three conditions. _

_While she could see that Avery and Mulciber were a pretty bad influence, they were also really good friends of Severus, and she wasn't so sure that his giving up on their friendship would turn out so well. Save for Mary, who had apparently harbored a little bit of a crush for some time, it had taken a pretty long while for the other Gryffindors to accept him in the other time-lines she had witnessed..._

Lily watched with a frown as Severus chatted with Argus Filch over in a corner; it...unsettled her to watch him conversing so amiably with someone so much older than they were, especially since that someone was the man who seemed to enjoy getting Gryffindor into trouble as much as or more than Severus did. More importantly, Lily could see and hear how most of those around her were laughing at and mocking him, and she didn't want him to get hurt by it...

"What a git; probably trying to get us all in trouble..."

"...have enough grease between them to fill all the pans in the Hogwarts' kitchens..."

"...what a weirdo, hanging out with Filch..."

Listening to these insults made her face burn on Severus' behalf; it wasn't so much that Lily disliked the idea of him being friends with some of the teachers, or even Filch, as it was the fact that it was hurting Severus' chances of making friends with kids his own age group. After forcing him to banish all of his old friends, Lily felt that it was kind of an obligation for her to help him replace them. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, Severus seemed to have no intention of doing so with anyone who was a student, let alone any of her friends; it was quite a hassle...

_Lily-prime had started to have suspicions that each time-line was trying to reveal something to her, and this time-line appeared to be no exception; in her own time-line she had always wanted Severus and her friends to get along, but there was the whole 'he wants to be a Death Eater' thing, and neither Severus nor her other friends seemed interested in becoming friends with each other. Perhaps this time-line would tell her why that might be..._

Soon, Severus finished talking to Filch, and Lily walked up beside him without him noticing; as she tapped him on the shoulder though, he whirled around and pointed his wand at her with a snarl until he realized who he was pointing it at, whereupon he lowered it. After taking a moment to recover from that mild scare, Lily said with a frown, "You know Sev, I wanted you to make more friends, but why couldn't they be closer to our age? I mean, Filch? Why not try some of my friends?"

Severus shrugged, then said coolly, "Really, he's not that bad if you follow the rules and such, something that most Gryffindors have trouble with I'm sure... Why does it matter who my friends are anyway? Are you going to have me give up on them too?"

Lily glared at him, then replied coldly, "Are you saying that you still want to be friends with those future-Death Eaters? Trust me, it's for the best that you gave up on them..."

Severus glared right back at her and struggled for speech for a moment before saying,"Urgh...nevermind."

"Good." Lily said with a satisfied smile on her face, "Trust me when I say that you made the right choice..." She then whispered to herself, "They never deserved you anyway..."

_Lily-prime shivered slightly; she couldn't say that she cared much for this counterpart of her's, especially after getting the chance to see what friendships Severus had given up. It was obvious that, while she and Severus were still friends, there was a definite coolness because of the 'Mudblood' incident. 'It's rather sad that this was supposed to be a 'better' version of myself...'_

Severus, apparently hearing her, then said coldly, "You might think that they were bad friends, but bad friends beats no friends, Lily... Why do you think that my only friends now are the teachers?"

Lily's smile then faded and turned into a frown, before she said quietly, "Don't worry Sev, I'll make sure that I fix that for you, I promise..." She then gave him a hug and the two of them continued walking...

* * *

_Some time passed, and things occured pretty much identically to how they had in Lily-Prime's original time-line, with the exception that Severus remained her counterpart's friend. James started to change for the better and the Death Eaters seemed to grow more vocal by the day about their goals of 'purity'. Interestingly enough, not that many of Lily's friends seemed to change their opinions of Severus, merely changing what they were complaining about with him..._

_There was only one exception to that..._

"Think about it, Lily; I know that he used to be really arrogant and such, but he's clearly changed for the better. I mean, he's even stopped fighting with Snape..."

"I just don't know for sure; I mean, sure he's changed a bit, but maybe there..."

"Oh come on, you're barely even trying to find an excuse to avoid him anymore, and you spend quite a bit of time talking with him; just go out with him for once. If you're right about James not changing, then you can just let him take you out to a nice dinner; he's got the money to spend after all..."

"I dunno...maybe you're right, Sabrina..."

Severus walked away slowly, tears in his eyes; he had known that this day would come sooner or later, and she would start dating Potter, probably ending up marrying him. He saw the look in her eyes whenever she looked at the prat, even before Potter had stopped his attacks on him, and it was very obvious to him that Lily was attracted to his rival in spite of what she had always said.

_Lily-prime sighed as she listened in on Severus' dismal thoughts; he had always been very much afraid that she would give up on his friendship if she started dating James, even before she had been particularly interested in the idea. At the time, she had thought that he was being quite foolish, but she realized now that the reason he must have been worried was because James never missed an opportunity to attack him or make him look foolish in front of her. _

_'After all, if that was what James was doing then, then what would he have done once he had started dating me? Would he have stopped trying to show me that 'our friendship just wasn't worth it'? In all honesty, probably not...'_

He had considered telling her how he felt, but Severus couldn't afford to take the chance after how close their friendship had come to utter obliteration that night by the portrait hole. What he had always known was a dangerous risk, as Lily's friendship with him was just too important to him to chance losing easily, had become a positively suicidal risk after that night. Ever since that night, there had been a vague tension in the air whenever the two of them were alone or with Mary Macdonald, and Lily would frequently glare at him for no reason at all...

"And the reason that you're moping is...?"

Severus quickly whirled around, only to see Mary standing behind him, clearly amused at his shock; speaking of Mary, the two of them had ironically become fast friends over the course of the year, as the two of them had a surprisingly large amount in common. It was especially ironic considering how Lily, who had at first all but shoved Mary at him, had started all but snarling whenever Mary would try to hug him...

_'I wonder if...'_

In contrast to Lily, who had the naivety of a five-year old when it came to complicated situations, he was sure that Mary must have been a Slytherin in another lifetime or reality; also, she didn't have Lily's distrust of Dark Magic, and would happily converse with him about how to increase the killing power of his _Sectumsempra _or whether it was possible to actually make someone's worst nightmares come to life without need of a Boggart...

Severus suddenly realized that he had gotten far too lost in his thoughts, and said morosely, "Well, Lily's decided to finally take James up on his millionth request to date him. I guess it was too much to ask that she would keep saying 'no' or that he would give up on her..."

Mary nodded at him, brown eyes downcast as her bushy hair seemed to catch the breeze from the astronomy tower slightly, to a rather nice effect; although he had never actually told her, Severus knew that she knew about his feelings for his childhood best friend. It might have been a little embarrassing, but she was really understanding about it, and it helped having someone his age to talk to about it...

_Lily-prime raised an eyebrow at Severus' noticing of Mary's hair; apparently, her counterpart in the previous time-line had a right to be mildly worried, as Severus was probably attracted to Mary if he took the time to notice that..._

Finally, Mary said, putting her arms around his back as he did so, "Well, he is clever, popular and rich, also charming and handsome; he did use to be a prat I admit, but he has apparently changed, so why shouldn't Lily go out with him? Besides, unless you can provide a good reason, she'll probably chalk it up to simple jealousy..."

Severus sighed gloomily and nodded, agreeing with her as he tentatively put his arms around her as well, when Lily's voice made itself heard from behind him; it was clearly annoyed about something, and made Severus' shoulders droop slightly as he let go of Mary and turned around to look at Lily. "Hey Sev...Mary, what are the two of you up to?"

Severus went slightly red with embarrassment, not knowing what to say, but Mary quickly covered for him by saying, "Oh...we were just discussing plans to go to Hogsmeade together this weekend; Shall I assume that you want to come along too Lily?"

Lily glared at him that same glare that Severus had started to dread, which seemed to occur whenever he and Mary were hanging out, then said somewhat haughtily, "That won't be necessary; James and I will be going out on a date, so you two will have plenty of time to 'have fun' in Hogsmeade..."

Lily suddenly turned around and stomped away, causing Severus to wonder what he had done to anger her once again. Mary then said with a sigh, "The way she keeps acting I don't think that Lily wants you to have anyone as a friend but her, you know?"

Severus only sighed, as it sometimes seemed that way...

_Lily-prime had to stifle a snicker, as it was pretty obvious to her the reason that her counterpart was acting the way she was; if she wasn't jealous, Lily-prime would be shocked indeed. However, it didn't escape her notice how Mary was not-so-subtly implying that she and Severus were going to Hogsmeade 'together', and it made her frown as she noticed what Mary had said..._

* * *

_Time passed, and Lily watched as her counterpart started going out with Potter; much like herself, her counterpart was pleasantly surprised by how kind and warm-hearted he could be when they were actually together. He was a very romantic person, and wooed her counterpart brilliantly, making use of flowers, music, candlelit dinners and all the trappings of romance backed up by genuine empathy and caring for her..._

"So what do you think of James? I mean, you've been going out with him for nearly two months; what do you think of him?"

Lily frowned for a moment, wondering why Mary was asking her this when it was so obvious how they were doing, then she shrugged and said with a bit of a blush and an exaggerated grin, "I think that he might be 'the one', you know Mary? I mean, I always thought that he was so arrogant that he would just be a prat even if I had said yes; but he's so romantic and so wonderful..."

Mary looked at her appraisingly for a moment, then she turned to Severus and said sarcastically, "Ooh, Lily's found her 'the one'; do you know what that means, Severus? Apparently, her brain has taken leave of its senses!"

Lily growled and whacked her on the shoulder once, before putting her hand on Severus' shoulder and saying with a touch of embarrassment, knowing that hearing her talk about his ex-rival in glowing terms had to be quite annoying for him, "Don't be stupid, Mary; all I'm saying is that James and I really have a lot more compatibility than I thought, you know? Still, I wouldn't be surprised if he really is the one for me... I might even end up marrying him someday..."

_Lily-prime actually wanted to slap her counterpart for her sheer obliviousness; knowing what she knew now, Lily-prime was abolutely sure that this must be right up there with getting a sword rammed through his chest in terms of sheer painfulness to Severus..._

Severus didn't say anything as he seemed to slump, but Mary grinned at her, then said brightly, "So you plan on taking him to Hogsmeade on a date next week? It'll be Valentine's Day and I'm sure that you two would have a really great time together..."

Lily nodded slowly, then Mary asked casually with a glance at Severus, who Lily noticed wasn't even looking at her, "So, would you mind if Severus and I came along? It might be a lot of fun."

Lily felt a twinge of anger as Severus smiled slightly, not quite sure why the thought of going on a double-date with him and Mary bothered her so much, then said coolly, "I'd rather not, but maybe we'll get lucky and meet each other in Hogsmeade. Still, why don't the two of you go with each other on your own?"

_'It is ironic' Lily-prime mused, 'just what can happen with a few misunderstandings, especially when someone else is taking advantage of them like how Mary seems to be doing...' _

_Lily-prime then suddenly had the strangest feeling that she was missing something that should have been completely obvious to her..._

For an instant, Mary's grin turned positively triumphant, but it quickly changed back as Severus sighed gloomily; she then said quickly, clearly changing the subject, "So, Sev, how've things been going with those arrogant prats?"

Lily watched in confusion as Severus gave Mary a quick look of gratitude; she was starting to suspect that there was something in the conversation that she had somehow missed, but couldn't quite figure out what it was. Regardless, Severus then said with a frown as he looked back down, "Unfortunately, while Pott-James hasn't been bothering me for a while, his buddies still make sure to hex me at least once a week. It's not like I'm completely outmatched anymore, as Lupin still only joins in when I'm already winning, but still..."

The two girls looked at each other for a moment, and Lily felt more than a little guilty; she had always suspected that Severus' counterattacks upon the Marauders might have been part of the reason that they had kept attacking, or at least so the Marauders had claimed. However, it appeared that they didn't particularly care whether he attacked them at all, as they had kept up their attacks without even the slightest change for more than a year after Severus had stopped trying to do more than merely defend himself.

'It's ironic that only James had the moral courage and decency to try to stop them; he even yelled at Sirius about it in public after all! Remus might know that it's wrong, but he never does anything about it, not really... The problem is, what can I do to stop it? I've been punishing them with every detention I can, tried to reason with them and even resorted to bribery once, yet none of it has worked in any meaningful way...'

As Lily tried to think of something, Mary suddenly smirked maliciously, before all but purring, "Sev, I guarentee you that this time next month you will no longer have to worry about the Marauders again...ever..."

_Lily-prime's blood chilled; Mary had never been the type of person who believed in the ideas of forgiveness, mercy or fair play when it came to dealing with those she disliked. Unlike her counterpart, who had a tendency to get angry somewhat easily but rarely stayed angry for very long, Mary didn't get angry quickly or easily; however, when she did, she displayed a near-savage level of brutality to those who had angered her..._

* * *

_Time passed, and Lily-prime watched apprehensively as Severus slowly but surely drew closer to Mary while her counterpart all but shoved him into Mary's arms in her jealousy and anger; even though she was still dating James, her counterpart was still clearly attracted to Severus, and it made Lily-prime want to just scream at her to just go and talk to him about it and explain why she was so angry..._

_'Now, if only I could have followed my own advice, rather than just lecturing him again and again...'_

_Soon, the scene shifted to one after dark outside of the Hogwarts castle..._

"Y-you wouldn't! You're lying!"

"Hmmph, you heard me, those are my conditions for sparing your precious little werewolf. Give me Sirius' head on a pike and leave Severus alone, or I'll have the time of my life ruining Lupin's!"

Mary then gave a wicked laugh for dramatic effect, enjoying the expressions of horror and dismay flitting across Potter and Pettigrew's faces as they looked at one another. As she did so, she congratulated herself for this little scheme; it had taken a while, but she had finally figured out about Lupin's 'furry, little problem', partially thanks to Severus' subtle teasing of him about it.

_Lily-prime sighed; she had disliked how Severus had teased him about it at the time, even though she hadn't really believed that Remus was a werewolf, as some of his teasing had been quite cruel and malicious...not that she could particularly blame him given how Remus' friends treated Severus, but still..._

Now she had three options for dealing with the Marauders on a permanent basis: if Potter or Pettigrew talked now, then she could have Black chucked out of school in a heart-beat, maybe into a prison cell if she got lucky. Alternatively, she could reveal Lupin's secret to the whole school as well as Black's little 'dangerous prank', perhaps getting them both chucked out if she were lucky; and then there was option three, her favorite...

Suddenly, she was broken out of her musing by Potter's attempt at diplomacy as he pleaded, eyes begging her, "Come on Mary, I know that Sna-Severus has started dating you and you probably don't like it when Sirius plays pranks on him, but why take it out on Remus? He wouldn't hurt a fly! Think about it, even Severus doesn't go off on him much, and he's the one who gets pranked the most!"

Mary frowned, pretending to think for a moment, then said morosely, "You know, you're right... Black is the one who deserves to be punished the most..." She then grinned wickedly as she continued,"Remind me of that when I tell the ENTIRE BLOODY SCHOOL tomorrow about Lupin's so-called 'furry, little problem'! It'll save time when I get him and his good pal Black chucked out together, Lupin for being a werewolf and Sirius for his attempted murder!"

_Lily-prime's eyebrows leapt to the top of her forehead as Mary said the words 'attempted murder'; a while after the incident, James had told her about how Severus had followed them into the Shrieking Shack, but he had never included Sirius in on the incident. 'Of course, maybe Mary's talking about something that only happened in this time-line...' Unfortunately, Lily-prime couldn't quite bring herself to believe this anymore..._

Mary then said coldly while faking a bit of relish as the boys stood stock-still, walking up to them so barely a few feet seperated her from either Potter or Pettigrew and saying in a voice that managed to be both quiet and carrying at the same time,

"Imagine it, Lupin will instantly have his life torn to shreds... he would have a hell of a time getting a job to begin with, without a few N.E.W.T.s, but imagine what it would be like as a degree-less werewolf who is known to have nearly killed a fellow classmate and is good friends with the pathetic scoundrel who set up the incident in the first place... His life will be a living hell, with everyone seeing him as nothing more than scum off of someone's boots; he'll never have a girlfriend, and probably won't have any friends either, save for you wankers... I don't know about you, but that sounds truly terrible to allow to happen to someone for the sake of scum like Black..."

Mary then paused to think as she waited for the two of them to respond; now it was up to the two of them whether or not to rat out Black or let her ruin Lupin's life.

'I wonder which of the two they will choose...the boy who has tried to murder his fellow classmate or the boy who, even though a complete coward, has never really tried to do anything wrong... Heh, Severus should have done this a long time ago; it would have dealt with the Marauders quickly and efficiently I bet! Hell, Dumbledore's swearing him to secrecy or no, if I were in Severus' shoes I would have revealed Lupin's secret before O.W.L.s!'

_Lily-prime frowned, not sure exactly how Sirius had been involved in the incident yet, but starting to get a very bad feeling about just how he had been involved..._

Finally, Potter said with a glare of utter loathing, "You're even more of a piece of slime than Snape; there's no way that we'll betray one of our fellow Marauders to you like you want, so go to hell!"

Pettigrew then chimed in, "Yeah! What he said!"

Mary calmly shrugged and said, "Well, I guess it's Lupin's funeral then..."

The two boys looked at each other guiltily, then Potter said in a voice that was just loud enough for Mary to hear it, "Even if we did betray Sirius for Remus' sake, what would stop you from revealing his secret later on? Nothing."

_Lily-prime understood James' decision, even though she didn't like it; he and Pettigrew had always been closer to Sirius than Remus, so it was easy to see who they would choose when the chips were down..._

As the two Marauders walked away slowly, Mary sighed; either they had figured out that there was nothing protecting Lupin save for her word while there was nothing she could prove about Black for certain even if she was able to get Severus to testify, or they had just decided to throw Lupin the wolves for Black's sake...

After chuckling a little as she realized the pun she had inadvertently made, she walked over to a little clump of bushes and pushed them aside, revealing a bound and gagged Lupin sitting there with tears rolling down his cheeks as he his eyes stared blankly at her with a look of complete betrayel in them. Mary then said simply as she looked back at him while undoing the gag, "See? They've sold you up the river, Remus..."

As he swallowed, Mary thought to herself with an inward smirk, 'Getting the Marauders to all betray one another and tearing their friendships to shreds... I LOVE option three! It's perfectly ironic; Potter always wanted to destroy Severus and Lily's friendship, and now HIS friendships are destroyed instead!'

_'It's official, I have begun to truly hate this incarnation of Mary Macdonald... What a little, manipulative bint...' _

* * *

_It turned out that Mary was mistaken; Remus ended up telling her about how all the Marauders other than him were illegal animagi, so she instead blackmailed them with the information after pretending to have a change of heart as regarding Lupin. With her having all of the Marauders by the balls so to speak, Mary was able to finally put an end to their bullying of Severus. _

_Soon afterward, he and Mary started dating..._

"So Lily, it's nice to finally meet James; he seems very nice..."

"I know, mum, I should have had you guys meet him months ago and I'm sorry. It's just...I dunno, while at first I thought that I was in love, it pretty soon just seemed like just a fling of some sort; it wasn't until a couple of months ago that I realized that I actually loved him for real."

Lily and her mother were taking advantage of James and her father being busy chatting to have some time to talk together; it was the first time that she had brought James over to the house, and Lily was very glad to see that he was making such a good impression, as this was probably the first time that James had ever met a Muggle other than as a clerk or something.

_Lily-prime suppressed a chuckle as she remembered how James had tried to speak slowly to the Muggle manning the burger joint they went to on their first date away from Hogwarts, as if the man were less intelligent of a person because he couldn't do magic. The man had then replied "Nice...to...meet...you...dunderhead!"_

However, something had seemed to be bothering her mother all the way through dinner, and Lily was wondering when and how it would come up. Finally, Marigold Evans said lightly and with a small laugh that wasn't fooling Lily in any way, "You know, I have to say that it was quite a surprise to us when you first told us that your boyfriend was James Potter. Honestly, we had you and Severus pegged for years to end up together; heck, it was part of the reason that your father actually volunteered to give him 'the talk'."

Lily didn't laugh, but she said wistfully, first making sure that no-one other than her mother was nearby, "Honestly, I thought that it might be the case as well, for a few months after fifth year at least; I was secretly rather touched by how he was willing to sacrifice so much for the sake of our friendship, and even fancied the possibility that he might be interested in more than that..."

_Lily-prime couldn't say that she was particularly fond of that action of her counterpart's; while she had been considering demanding the same thing of Severus at the time, now that she had 'met' Severus' friends and seen how they were in their school-days, she realized that she couldn't have demanded that Severus give them up in good conscience without giving up the Marauders as well. _

_'It really is a shame that neither of us ever really took the time to get to know each other's friends...although in Severus' case he can be excused because the only way that James ever wanted to meet him was at the other end of his wand...'_

Her voice then turned a bit bleaker as she sighed and said sadly, "...Unfortunately, then this other girl showed up, and she got me thinking that she and Severus were dating; I never bothered to confirm it, but I started getting very jealous and pushing him away, even going so far as to flaunt my relationship with another man in order to make HIM jealous. You see, it wasn't until a short time ago that I had developed real relationshippy feelings for James, you know?"

Lily's mother looked rather uncomfortable, then she said quietly, "Actually, Lily, I'm pretty sure that Severus was very jealous of him; whenever you would mention your boyfriend in front of all of us he would get this angry look on his face..." She then frowned, "...Speaking of James, didn't he and Severus use to be rivals or something?"

Lily looked at her guiltily, then said, "I used to think it was that way as well, but I think that I might have been mistaken in hindsight; I think that it was much more of a bully/victim relationship than even I thought. Luckily, James stopped doing it before we started dating, or I would have never gone out with him to begin with; he even started telling off his friends about it..."

_Lily-prime swallowed; she had been more than a little hard on Severus out of a mistaken perception that his conflict with James was just a big school rivalry. Really, it had stopped being a normal school rivalry the second that James had brought in his friends and started attacking whenever Severus was vulnerable..._

Lily then refocused on what her mother had just said and asked skeptically, "Mum, are you sure that Severus was jealous because he had feelings about me, and not just angry because it was James? I mean, if he were really jealous, wouldn't he have tried to put James down more? He did it back in fifth year when I started having a bit of a crush on him after James saved Severus' life, although he did continue attacking him then, but he hasn't complained about my relationship with James other than his usual dislike for James..."

She paused, then continued with a bit of frustration, "...I mean, if he HAD feelings for me, wouldn't he have said something? I mean, this whole charade went on for nearly a year and a half before I actually got interested in James for real! He had all the time in the world to mention 'Oh, by the way Lily, I love you.' if he was actually interested in me!"

Marigold then shrugged, before saying with a tone of exasperation as she looked at her daughter, "Lily...I'm sure that you would understand completely if you just THOUGHT about what he sacrificed for only your friendship for just a couple of seconds; it's ironic how intelligent you are yet how thick-headed you can be when it comes to feelings..."

_"Now THAT I agree with..." Muttered Lily-prime aloud._

She then paused, before saying more softly, "Regardless, it's water under the bridge now, isn't it? Perhaps things would have been different then if you had made different choices, but you now have new choices to make, and you can't always undo what you did... If you really care about Severus, then you're going to have to let him date this 'Mary' girl and get over you."

Marigold then gave her daughter a quick squeeze of the shoulder, before leaving her alone to think. After a few minutes of weighing what she remembered it came to Lily, making her want to slap herself on the forehead. In hindsight it was just a bit beyond blindingly obvious that he would have only given up so much if he had truly loved her...and it was also clear that it had been far from her best moment as a friend, as she had made Severus choose between herself and the few people who would call him a friend, even if they had been the scum of the Earth...

It was equally true that her mum was right about the other part; while she couldn't say that she didn't regret some of her choices, she would regret it even more if she let herself get caught up in what-ifs and forgot what she still had. As such, she would do as her mom had suggested and be happy for him, even if it might sting...

_'Well, at least she had figured it out before she died... It's ironic, I thought that I was being such a great friend in spite of his being a complete prat much of the time towards the end; really though, although neither of us was perfect, I can't say that I would have voted for me as the better friend... His road might have had a dark end, but if our roles had been reversed, I know that Severus would have kept trying to light my way till the very end...'_

* * *

_A couple of years passed, and Lily-prime watched as her counterpart and Severus got married, to James and Mary respectively. In this time-line though, her counterpart joined the Auror department, to Lily-prime's surprise. In contrast, while all four worked with the Order of the Phoenix, only her counterpart and James were actually a part of it; Severus and Mary had chosen instead to remain independent, mainly because Mary and Dumbledore didn't quite see eye-to-eye._

_Although Mary and Severus were officially part of neither the Order nor the Ministry, they were given honorary status as Aurors due to the sheer number of Death Eaters they had taken out between the two of them, so many that each had killed or brought into custody more Death Eaters than any two Aurors combined. The Daily Prophet even had given them the nicknames 'The Heralds of Battle', as it was said that wherever they were spotted, a battle against the Death Eaters would soon follow..._

"...think that you are making a big mistake, Mary."

"The answer is still 'NO', Lily, and your chances of changing it are basically zero..."

Lily sighed in frustration, then flounced onto the nearby couch in the living room of the Snape family home while trying to keep herself from getting angry; in spite of the fact that she and Severus were still the best of friends even three years after Hogwarts, she and Mary had grown apart relatively quickly, only their shared relationships with Severus keeping them in touch anymore.

In truth, she had grown to quite dislike Mary's ideals, as Lily had learned to appreciate mercy greatly after her friendship with Severus came so close to extinction when she had almost allowed her anger to run away with her forgiveness. Although it wasn't a policy that could be applied as easily in wartime, Lily still aimed to disable rather than kill most of the time, as Voldemort had forced quite a few wizards into the ranks of his Death Eaters with the _Imperius _curse. In contrast, Mary tended to kill first and ask questions never...

Still, she had hoped that she would be able to persuade Mary of the necessity of joining the Order of the Phoenix; Severus still refused to join it unless Mary did, and if he didn't...Lily shivered at the thought. They were in grave danger, and the thought of her best friend dying was a possibility only matched in horror by either James or Harry dying...

_Lily-prime could understand her counterpart's emotions very easily, although they were rather different from many of the past time-lines she had witnessed; while clearly she and Severus were no longer romantically interested in one another, they were so close that the thought of Severus being hurt was as devastating to her counterpart as anything she could possibly emotion. They were closer than most siblings, and in spite of their inherent differences, had managed to carve such a place in each others heart that few could match..._

Trying again, Lily then said with forced calm, trying to see if she could persuade Mary in the same way that she had learned from dealing with Severus, "OK, I know that you don't care much for the idea of joining the Order for whatever reason, yet you help it all the time; there has to be a good reason that you help us when we need the help, but what is the reason that you aren't interested in becoming part of our Order? At the least, having allies would certainly help..."

Mary started to chuckle, then said coolly, "Lily, I want to make this perfectly clear so that you don't misinterpret it: I have absolutely no interest in joining a group lead by Dumbledore! His ideas and mine simply do not mesh, understood? I have no interest in dying for his so-called greater good, and I disagree completely with his methods for fighting the war, got it!?"

Mary then started to rant angrily, "His policies against using the Dark Arts on the Death Eaters are foolish and misguided, and his obsession with love as the greatest power is stupid; stubbornly, he refuses to accept that you can't fight the darkness with only the Light! He will lead the Order to their graves with that blasted twinkle in his eyes, and you're too foolish to see it, Lily!"

Lily strove to keep control of her annoyance and worry, but didn't quite manage it and said with a glare, "Stop posturing, Mary; what's the real reason that you don't want to join!? You have never been the type to stand on ideals when it was impractical before, and I doubt that you would start now; you know as well as I do that Dumbledore is the only one who can protect you and Severus from Voldemort, like it says in the prophecy!"

_Lily-prime frowned; she had never heard the full contents of this prophecy, and was more than slightly annoyed by that fact. If such a prophecy seemed to make such a difference in so many time-lines, then why had no-one ever seen fit to inform her of it? 'Really, it seems from these time-lines that there is a lot that I wasn't aware of...'_

Mary then looked at her strangely, before saying in a dramatically calmer tone of voice, although still clearly angry, "So he's told you the prophecy, has he? Well, have you considered what I might think about his ideas for 'protecting' us? The prophecy clearly states that 'the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal'; how can he do that if me, Severus and our baby are safe from him? Dumbledore's ONLY concern is his bloody greater good, so how do you think that our personal safety factors in on it? Do you think that I want Sev or my baby to play as HIS PAWNS!?"

Lily frowned, thinking to herself that while Mary might be being paranoid, she did have a good point; if it had been her Harry, then she hoped that she would think just as hard about Harry's safety as Mary was clearly calculating in that almost-Slytherin mind of hers. Although Lily didn't think that Dumbledore would sacrifice Mary and Severus for the greater good, she couldn't say it with utter certainty, and the very thought made Lily's heart skip a beat in terror at the thought of losing Severus...

Finally, having ruthlessly calculated everything like Severus had taught her, Lily said softly, "How about this? I'll return to Dumbledore and see if he can offer something concrete rather than merely his offer of protection? That way, I can evaluate his intentions as to protecting you; is that OK?"

_Lily-prime had followed her counterpart's thoughts along carefully and found that she had changed the way she thought in some ways, much like her other counterparts had when they had stayed close to Severus, now that she thought about it... It seemed that they had become somewhat more suspicious people, less...innocent in some way, but more understanding..._

Mary shook her head, rubbing her seven-month along pregnant belly with one of her slightly pale hands as she did so, then said coldly, "Not a chance, Lily; I trust you, but I will never trust him, not with how he has already treated my husband..."

Lily raised an eyebrow in confusion, then asked with an edge of anger, clearly not aimed at Mary, "'How he has already treated Sev'? What do you mean?"

Mary smiled sadly, then said with an emotion on her face that looked suspiciously like guilt, "I'm sorry, Lily, I can't tell you; I promised..."

* * *

_Lily-prime snarled in frustration; unfortunately, the last scene had left off right before Mary was about to explain, and she had been very curious to hear what Mary was referring to, and whether or not it was before or after this time-line had shifted..._

_Nonetheless, more time passed until finally Lily saw a scene that didn't quite make sense to her: James Potter sitting on a couch, staring at a baby girl with short, wiry black hair and brown eyes..._

'How had it gotten this way?' James Potter wondered to himself. 'Why have I been forced to be the father of Snape's daughter? I never liked the man, so why am I forced to raise his brat?'

After pondering a bit, he sighed; before he had died for his daughter's sake, sacrificing himself with some magic that James was sure was dark, Snape had made Lily the godmother of his daughter Sophia. In spite of James' objections, Lily had been absolutely thrilled when she had been told, but James had hoped that it would never prove necessary to actually take the girl in. 'Unfortunately, Snape got himself killed against Voldemort, although luckily after finishing the madman...'

_Lily-prime frowned slightly as she remembered how James had objected to the idea of learning such magic himself, claiming that learning it was showing a lack of faith in Sirius and Peter to keep their secret safe... She really wished that he hadn't been so obstinate about his faith in his friends now that Peter she had realized that he had turned traitor..._

In the past, James had cheerfully entertained thoughts of Snape dying painfully, especially when it seemed that he was trying to keep Lily away from him; however, now that it had actually happened...it wasn't nearly as enjoyable of a thought. It wasn't so much that James mourned him in particular, although he did regret the loss of life that Voldemort had again caused, but Lily had taken it rather...hard...

'Actually, 'hard' would be the understatement of a lifetime, really.' James mused to himself as the little girl looked at him quizzically, sitting up and watching him as he thought, while sucking greedily on her thumb. 'I think that both of the Snapes were more alive than her at the funeral, and they were dead; I hope I never again see her look so...shattered.'

James had seen Lily look hurt before, sad before, crushed before, especially when they had found out that Peter had joined the Death Eaters a long time ago and had betrayed them all, but none of those times compared to what he had seen in her eyes as her Slytherin best friend had been lowered into the dirt beside his also-deceased wife.

Lily had been such a wreck that James had actually needed to hold her hand, not for comfort or support, but in order to help pull her into the room where the body was to be viewed; on some level, James had been jealous, as he couldn't see why she was so devastated over the loss of someone who was just her childhood friend and had worried that she might have had an affair with the greasy git before he bit it. He knew that it was petty, but he had always been afraid on some level that one day Snape and Mary would split up and then he would run off with Lily...

Nevertheless, he wished now that Snape hadn't died, as James would almost rather die himself than see Lily look that broken...

_It was interesting to get James' perspective on how he viewed her counterpart's friendship with Severus, as although he had a great deal of hatred for Severus, James clearly cared about her very much..._

Suddenly, Lily walked through their living room with a fond smile as she held Harry and looked at Sophia...which immediately turned into a icy glare as she looked at James. He then sighed dismally; during the reading of the Will, it appeared that Mary hadn't had enough fun in her life ruining his and his friends' lives, as she had continued her attempts from beyond the grave...

In her Will, Mary had claimed to feel guilty about the past, and had revealed to Lily how she had played her and Snape against one another in an attempt to win him for herself; apparently, she also had purposefully played matchmaker between Lily and James while tricking her into acting like a complete jerk to Severus because of Lily's jealousy. Lily had clearly been far from thrilled to hear of that, but the worst part had been yet to come...

_'Now THAT I believe...' Lily-prime thought to herself with a snarl. 'This Mary seems like a positively evil bint who would do anything to win and enjoys hurting others!'_

Mary had revealed how while he had stopped 'attacking' Snape personally, and had publicly denounced it, he had actually been very supportive of Sirius and Peter's attempts to do so from behind the scenes. However, the more damaging thing that Mary had revealed in her cruel attempt to make his life miserable was how he had known that Snape knew about Remus' being a werewolf while he was still attacking him...

Lily had been downright furious after hearing Mary's Will, shouting at James that he had been playing games with his friend's future every moment that he had attacked Snape, as everyone knew that he had a cruel side and could easily have revealed Remus' being a werewolf to the whole school at any moment.

However, when James had defended himself by claiming that he knew that Snape would never have told on Remus like that, it hadn't gone too well; Lily, now positively enraged, had slapped him and shouted something about "And I called HIM ungrateful!?"; in spite of how James had tried to point out how Snape had kept cruelly teasing Remus with his secret, it had been almost three weeks since that day and Lily still barely spoke to him in her anger...

_Lily-prime could easily see her counterpart's point, as it really made the incident a lot more grey than she thought..._

Finally, James sighed and said, looking at Lily with determination, "Alright, I'll do it... I promise that I'll take care of Sophia like she was my own, treating her just like I do Harry...I did always want to get him a sister after all, and it's nice that she is the same age..."

Although Lily's glare remained as she looked at him in surprise, James could detect a small softening in it, and smiled inwardly; he would do just about anything to keep Lily happy and to win her heart, and taking care of Snape's daughter was just another sacrifice in the name of his love for Lily Evans Potter that he would have to make... 'Besides, even if she is the spawn of the greasy git and the demon who tried to make my life hell, maybe we've caught her early enough to keep her from ending up like her parents...'

Intellectually, James knew that his low opinion of Snape wasn't quite deserved, but it didn't stop him from hating how Lily had put him atop a golden pedestal now that he had died; apparently, in spite of his frequent pettiness towards others and his downright meanness to James and his friends, Snape could no longer do any wrong in Lily's eyes...

James was then distracted by Lily's laughter...and the pain that came from a baby's rattle smacking into his face at high speeds... 'I clearly have my work cut out for me...'

* * *

_Years passed, and Lily-prime watched as her counterpart forgave her husband for what he had done in the past, eventually having another two girls; one was named Marigold after her counterpart's mother, with the other named Violet, to keep the Evans family tradition of naming daughters after flowers in general..._

_Nonetheless, this brought the stray thought to Lily-prime's attention about what she was going to do about HER husband in the afterlife, something which she had deliberately avoided thinking about ever since she had found out how James had deliberately lied to her about his attacks on Severus... Forcing it from her mind for the moment, she watched as her counterpart and Harry had a heart-to-heart mother-son conversation, wishing wistfully that she could have given such a conversation in her own life..._

"...let me get this straight: you have a crush on Hermione Granger, and so does your best friend Ron Weasley, correct?"

"Yeah...I-I really like her; she's really quite pretty, and funny, and smart, very smart..." Lily had to suppress a giggle as Harry looked dreamily at a moving picture of his Muggleborn female best friend sitting on his bedside table, then he shook his head before continuing in a more frantic tone of voice, "...but Ron is my best friend as well, and I know that he has this really huge crush on her for a very long time, even if he isn't...the best at expressing it sometimes..."

Lily then smiled, before saying as she put her hand on Harry's shoulder, "Well, first of all, have you told Hermione that you like her yet?"

Harry looked embarrassed as he shook his head, and Lily chuckled a little, before saying kindly, "Well, one thing that I would strongly advise is to make sure that you spend time with her, getting to know her likes and dislikes; secondly, you can tell her how you feel, but don't put pressure on her to pick you. She and Ron are your best friends, and your relationships with your best friends have to be treated with great care indeed..."

_Lily-prime nodded, having no choice but to agree with her counterpart by this point..._

Lily saw that Harry was thinking this over carefully with a worried expression on his face, as Ron and Hermione were the two people who mattered the most in his life, and she was pleased that he was thinking about this with the care it deserved. She smiled and prepared to leave when she remembered something from her own past.

Remembering a similar set of best friends from long ago however, Lily then continued carefully, "Most importantly, whatever you do Harry, do not push Hermione away even if you get jealous; this is one of the biggest mistakes you can make when dealing with someone you like. It may seem like an easy way to deal with a problem to begin with, should you have one, but it will only cost you in the long run..."

_'That's certainly true; Severus and I pushed each other away to the point that it seemed like ending the friendship was the right thing to do... If we hadn't been so foolish, then perhaps one of these realities would have been my own...'_

As Harry nodded, Lily walked out of the room and almost ran into Sophia, who had apparently been walking past the door with a nose buried in one of her books. However, years of practice in dealing with children helped her realize that she had been eavesdropping...that and the fact that said book was upside-down. Smiling slightly, she whispered to her daughter, "If you want a turn to talk with him, now's your chance..."

Smirking, Sophia ran into the room and started talking, in the same tone of 'I'm right, deal with it!' that Lily could remember coming from Sophia's biological mother sometimes. Hoping that she wouldn't use this as another opportunity to tease her older brother, Lily sighed as she walked into the kitchen to make lunch.

It was hard, being a single mother of four, as James had died in a battle against a Dark wizard back when Harry was seven and Violet barely two. Nonetheless, Lily had managed to raise her children to grow up quite well in her opinion; between James' inheritance and the money she received from her biography of her two best friends, the so-called 'Heralds of Battle', Lily had enough money to take care of her family and keep them happy and healthy.

Still, Lily wished every day that one of either James, Severus or Mary had manage to survive; although she still had many friends, Remus being the best one of them, none of them had made such a difference in her life as those three.

_Lily-prime wondered what had happened with her friendship with Sirius, but suspected that it might have something to do with the 'attempted murder' that Mary had referenced..._

For a long time she had actually hated Mary, as she had 'stolen' Severus from her and Lily had thought that Mary only wanted him because he had been hers, but eventually she had realized that Mary had truly loved him as well; she had even told Lily about the moment she had started to have a crush on him, just prior to the end of O.W.L.s.

Mary had had a prank pulled on her by Sirius in one of his bizarre attempts to win her love by making her miserable, and had slipped and fallen down the stairs, breaking her leg in the process. While Sirius had fled lest a teacher catch him and put him in detention again, Severus had laughed at her and called her a clumsy Mudblood...while carefully fixing her leg to an extent that only a trained healer could have matched.

It had been then that Mary had wondered if she had misjudged the Slytherin boy, as even though he had been very, very cruel verbally, he had healed her and then brought her to Madam Pomfrey afterward. As such, she had told Lily about how he was waiting outside the portrait in order to repay him, only to swiftly fall for him when the three of them had become friends... In the end, Lily had forgiven her completely when she sacrificed her life to take out ten Death Eaters, giving Severus the chance to sacrifice his own life for his daughter's.

_'Well, PERHAPS this Mary wasn't so bad after all, maybe... Still, I think that my counterpart would have been better for Severus...' Lily-prime frowned as she thought to herself._

In contrast, while James had been truly horrid to Severus and had positively LOATHED Mary, he had redeemed himself greatly of his past actions with how he had raised Sophia. Even though he had hated her parents, he had showered the girl with affection and had done his best not to let his own hatred of them keep him from telling her about the good things they had done. Before he had died, he had admitted to Lily that Sophia had become his favorite 'Daddy's Little Girl'...

He had always been a sweet, caring man when it came to the people he loved, one of the reasons that Lily had ended up falling for him in the end, and he had done his best to show his love for her all the days of his life. James had made his mistakes, and had deceived her in order to win her many a time, but he did love her very much...

_'This is certainly true; whatever his faults, James loved me in my time-line. In contrast, my Sev...gave up on the girl who broke his heart... I guess I can't be too angry at him for forgetting about me...' Lily winced as she considered how it must have been for Severus._

Then there was Severus...

Suddenly, Lily was interrupted in her thoughts by Sophia's entering the kitchen with a smirk on her face as she went over to the refrigerator; although James had claimed Sophia to be just like her, Lily suspected that she was really more like her biological mother and father, and she was alright with that. Every time her daughter smirked or gave that slight grin reminiscent of her childhood best friend, it made Lily feel much better about her day, as it reminded her of just how lucky she had been to know him...

Lily hoped that Severus would be proud of the way that she had raised his daughter, much like she had been proud of him; he had sacrificed so much for those he had never liked or cared for, nearly costing himself everything he did care for, yet he had done it for no reward in this lifetime. Finally, he had died for the daughter he had created with the woman he had married and loved, saving her life while slaying the Darkest wizard of all time in the process...

Given how Sophia had already defeated two incarnations of Voldemort, and had finally sent him screaming into the void when she had confronted him in the graveyard of Little Hangleton after winning the Triwizard Tournament, Lily hoped that she had succeeded. 'Like father, like daughter, I suppose; Severus wanted to be a respected hero since he was a young boy, only to become a legend. It's only fitting that his daughter follow in his footsteps...'

_'Indeed, it is only fitting, pity that it didn't happen in my time-line...'_

* * *

_As the time-line faded, Lily-prime thought to herself about what it implied about her own, for good or ill; at the least, some of the things she had learned had put a whole new perspective on some events. _

_In Lily-prime's opinion, her counterpart had been correct about what knowing Remus' secret meant about the rivalry between James and Severus, as it meant that Severus had a great deal more reason to be angry at James; even though James had saved his life once, Severus was protecting his close friend for his whole time at Hogwarts in spite of continual provocation on the parts of the Marauders. 'Perhaps Severus was far more grateful to James than I thought? I would explain why he was so angry when I called him ungrateful if he couldn't show HOW he was being grateful...'_

_Unfortunately, it showed a rather dark side to James that Lily couldn't say that she liked; her counterpart was right to be furious, as James either knew that Remus' secret was at risk and didn't care or knew that Severus was purposely showing Remus mercy and didn't care. After all, even if Dumbledore HAD sworn Severus to secrecy, it didn't mean that he couldn't break his word; after all, what was stopping him from telling his Slytherin buddies about it?_

_Mary's actions also drove Lily-prime to thinking a great deal, not so much about the actions themselves, but what her outrage toward them meant about how she should be feeling toward James and his actions. On the one hand, Mary had been plotting against a friend, which James and Severus were HIGHLY unlikely to ever call each other. _

_On the other hand, Mary's actions were far more mild than those that James had taken, as she had only tried to keep them from getting together rather than shattering their friendship, and she had APPARENTLY felt guilty in the end. It was quite hard to think about..._

_As for what her counterpart's forgiveness towards James meant for her own issues with her husband, Lily-prime was unsure, as her James' actions had been far worse than those which this counterpart had taken... _

_'He might be a hero, and I might be unsure about what I feel toward my Severus, but does that mean that I should accept James' actions? He seems to show little to no remorse in most of the time-lines where Severus is concerned and he hid the truth from me; that is almost more worrisome than the actions he has taken themselves...'_

_'Then there is the 'attempted murder' that Mary mentioned, as well as Dumbledore's 'betrayel'; did any of those occur in my time-line, and if so, what happened? I'm starting to feel like everything I knew was far more dark and murky than I could have possibly imagined...'_

**Author's Notes: **Sorry for the long wait on updating, but I wanted to get this chapter as carefully done as possible; it will be one of two time-lines where Severus ends up with someone who isn't Lily. As my version of Mary Macdonald was very popular in my fic 'The Law of Unintended Consequences', I decided to give her a shot to see what might happen if Lily had married James but stayed friends with Severus.

For those of you who haven't read that fic, my version of Mary is basically the polar opposite of Lily; she is cruel and vicious when it comes to her enemies, and generally as loyal and good as Severus when it comes to her friends. Far more ruthless than Lily, she has a strong attraction to Severus because of their shared interest in the Dark Arts and how accepting of each other's flaws they are.

Mary also has a similar level of potential as a witch as Severus, and they have a tendency to spur each other on when it comes to creation of combat magic and increasing their skills. She has a tendency to prefer very destructive magic, and relies upon her anger and hatred to power her spells (Needless to say, _Sectumsempra _and other Dark Magic work very well for her).

In this fic, remember that both the Lily shown and Lily-prime are seeing things from their own points of view, so their views of Mary are colored by their dislike and/or jealousy. Similar to James, Mary isn't a bad person underneath it all, but a very flawed one.

Speaking of James, I hope that I did a good job with him, as I wanted to point out both his manipulative streak and his hatred of Severus as well as his great love for Lily. I don't view him as a monster, but he has a great many flaws, much like Severus in canon (in the Harry Potter years).

Don't forget, Lily-prime still doesn't know what happened during the werewolf incident specifically, nor what happened after her sixth year; as such, her perspective is still colored by a lack of information. As such, she still has no idea that Severus thinks that James was involved in the incident from the beginning, nor that he believes that he was only saved to preserve their own skins. Whether or not that is true or not I MIGHT go into later...

As for whether Ron and Hermione or Harry and Hermione got together in this time-line, you can imagine whichever scenario you prefer, but I think that Hermione would probably end up choosing Harry if he followed his mother's advice.

**_I have decided to end this fic after a total of three more One-shots, and an epilogue, so be warned!_**

YOU, the readers will get to vote on which differences at key points in the time-line she sees, as well as suggest other changes she could have made. I won't update this fic too often, as I want to give plenty of time for voting and suggestions.

IN ORDER TO VOTE: Select one or more of the possibilities listed, and include them in either a Review, a PM, or an E-mail. You may vote for as many possibilities as you like, but only once for each possibility.

IN ORDER TO POST A NEW SUGGESTION: List the choice that Lily could have made, and your reasoning, and include it in either a Review, a PM, or an E-mail.

ALL SUGGESTED POSSIBILITIES MUST HAVE BEEN ABLE TO OCCUR IN CANON, AND THEY MUST BE DIFFERENCES IN **_LILY'S_** CHOICES. For example, having James be just a little too late in rescueing Severus during the Werewolf prank is not an option, as Lily didn't make that choice, but having her decide to kiss him once in fifth year, just to see what it would be like, is.

In spite of the listed pairing, not all of the lives she views will have Severus and Lily paired together in the end, although a majority will.

After Sev tells her she's a witch, instead of running off with Petunia, she should stay and prod him for further proof. 5

When Lily tells Severus off about his friends in fourth year, she attempts to use concrete examples to prove that they are as bad, or worse than, the Marauders. 4

Lily decides to kiss Severus once in fifth year, just to see what kissing is like. 4

What if Lily had simply forgiven Severus after the incident by the lake? 3

What if she and James had kept Sirius as their secret keeper? 3

When Severus hints to Lily about Lupin in fourth year, in connection to James' 'heroics', Lily gets curious about the possibility of him being a werewolf rather than dismissing Severus' concerns. 3

When Sev says his father "doesn't like anything much" Lily becomes concerned and decides to delve deeper into this issue and help in some way, as opposed to continuing with the questions on Azkaban. 2

Lily figures out about Lupin being a werewolf before Severus does. 1

That day by the park when Severus jumps out of the bushes to say 'hi' to Lily and Petunia, Lily decided to stay home instead. 1

Lily manages to convince the Marauders to stop bullying Severus in third year, before he was that deep in with the future Death Eaters.

Lily drags Severus to a compartment where they can be alone, on their first trip to Hogwarts, so James and Sirius don't hear their talk.


	7. Never Alone

**What if? The Purgatory of Lily**

**Chapter 7**

**Never Alone**

_I will stay at your side forever and always..._

**_Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series._**

Lily growled under her breath as she started at the Mirror of Fi-Tahw once more. She was beginning to suspect that she had the ability to influence the mirror to some extent, but wasn't quite sure how. Furthermore, she wasn't sure that she wanted to see what she thought she wanted to see.

Quite simply, the Shrieking Shack incident in fifth year seemed to be turning more and more sinister every time she heard about it in a time-line, and it didn't escape her attention that in the past time-line Sirius hadn't been mentioned as one of her counterpart's friends. It was particularly foreboding because Lily had genuinely grown to like Sirius once he and James, supposedly at least, had stopped bullying everyone around them.

Another thing that made it seem particularly dangerous was the fact that that counterpart of her seemed close enough to she herself that it was quite disappointing to her when seen through the eyes of a bystander. If SHE had rejected Sirius for whatever had happened, then did that mean that Lily herself would want to give up on Sirius as a friend when found out about it?

She had learned in the previous time-lines that her friendships were apparently more important than she had suspected, for good or ill, and she didn't know if Lily wanted to lose Sirius... Maybe it would be best to act if she hadn't heard it, play pretend...

Lily then stopped, remembering how she had told Severus once that she 'couldn't pretend anymore', right at the end of their friendship; it seemed to be in quite a few of the cases so far that trying to pretend their problems didn't exist and not talking about or dealing with them had been what tore her and Severus apart, and for good or ill she wasn't going to make that mistake again, not with Sirius...

Speaking of denying their problems, Lily suddenly wondered what would have happened if she had ever made a move on Severus prior to the O.W.L. incident or vice-versa; his concealing his love for her had been something that certainly didn't help their relationship when it really could have if she had known, as if Lily had known then she was sure that she would have at least given Severus one more chance after that time by the lake...

After all, even in sheer practical terms, it would have given her one last lever that she might have been willing to pull to try and convince Severus to change sides. While Lily had wanted Severus to do it because it was the right thing to do, she was pretty sure by now that she wouldn't be 'above' convincing him through other means if necessary...as her most recent counterpart had proven, even if it had backfired on her to some extent...

As the mirror started to swirl once more, Lily wondered if perhaps the pretending had been more devastating to their friendship than the issues themselves...

Finally it reformed into a scene that made Lily smile in wistfulness for a moment: Severus and her experimenting together in an abandoned classroom, working on one of their potions together...

* * *

"Come on, Sev, you do only clockwise turns in this potions! Remember!?"

"Lily, trust me on this; if you do seven turns clockwise, then one counter-clockwise, I'm sure that it will turn out WAY better!"

"I dunno..." Lily sighed as Severus decided to experiment first, rather than working on the basic potion for their class project. Admittedly, Severus was generally right, but Lily liked to start out with the basics first rather than wildly experimenting. Still, it was admittedly more pleasant to talk about this subject rather than their arguments over Potter, the Marauders and his friends...

_'It's interesting that we missed the primary point in our arguments; what would have happened if I hadn't been so focused on his friends? Still, this time-line is supposed to be a better one than my own...in the long run at least...'_

Deciding to change the subject as Severus AGAIN made the potion perfectly, Lily cast about randomly before coming upon a topic that was sure to be more enjoyable; grinning wickedly, she said with a giggle, "So, Sev, any girls you like?" As he dropped his stirring rod on the floor with a clang, clearly in shock, she continued mischievously, "I mean, the two of us never go into this topic anymore; I think it's been two YEARS since you've mentioned anyone that you had a crush on..."

"I...uh...wuh?" Severus 'said', clearly completely shocked and mortified, as his face blazed as brightly red as Lily's hair.

In the time-honored traditions of female best friends everywhere, Lily decided to continue teasing Severus by saying with an evil giggle and a knowing smirk, "I mean, much as you pretend to be interested in the idea of non-sexuality lately, I'm sure that SOMEONE has caught your eye... Come on, tell me who it is!"

_Lily-prime felt embarrassed on Severus' behalf; although she couldn't understand why he was so scared to broach the idea with any of her counterparts, regardless of time-line, she had to chalk it up to his being Severus...'_

Waving his arms frantically, Severus started denying everything frantically with cheeks still burning, much to Lily's enjoyment, "No-one! There's no-one, REALLY! Now, let's get back to those potions and-"

Enjoying herself far too much to let him get away with an evasion like that, Lily interrupted by saying, ticking off possibilities as she went along and he indicated an answer of 'no' to each of them,

"Let's see now...It's not Mary or Sabrina, and I've never seen you look at my other friends other than as scum; I don't think I've seen you looking at any of the Slytherin girls or sitting near them..." Then she realized and, looking at him in shock, she said simply, "OH...!"

Now that Lily thought about it, the answer was completely obvious; Severus never looked at any of the Slytherins or Gryffindors in any sort of manner remotely resembling liking them, other than Lily herself of course, and the only girl that she had heard him mention in the past month in any kind of positive way had been...Celeste Greengrass, a truly beautiful Ravenclaw fourth-year. He had been talking with Avery about her a week ago, and they had gotten awfully perverted in some of their talk, not that Lily was eavesdropping...

_'Was I really that DENSE!?' Lily-prime wanted to shout at her counterpart, but she had to admit that that would probably be comparable to the pot calling the kettle black, to say the LEAST..._

However, while Lily couldn't say that she approved much of Celeste, she had to admit that Severus would have a difficult time attracting her. After all, Celeste publicly admitted that she enjoyed watching boys acting like perverted imbeciles on her behalf, and was infamous for dating one boy after another...or sometimes at the same time. Severus' chances of attracting her attention were somewhere between slim and none, to be honest, as Celeste had half the school after her...

Nonetheless, Lily would do her best to help Severus in his romantic quest, even if she certainly didn't approve of his target. As such, there was quite a lot that she could do to help her best friend... Watching him as he continued working, having clearly decided that discretion was the better part of valor, she gave him a quick evaluation to see what she could help him with.

Lily finished quickly and easily, but the results were not very encouraging; while Severus wasn't unfit or anything, his clothes were second-hand at best and his appearance was far from the greatest. Moreover, he had a tendency to scowl alot, to the point that any sort of smile was privately considered something to be cherished by Lily. Still, she would do the best she could...

Lily then paused a moment and grinned; she had just thought of a way to deal with a minor issue that had been plaguing her and help Severus at the same time: Lily had lately become rather curious about what a kiss might be like, having never kissed anyone herself, and having Severus practice with her once or twice would help him become proficient as well... At the least, it couldn't hurt, could it?

_"I stand corrected" Lily-prime said aloud as she could picture just how badly this could go, with her and Severus being not only on different pages, but in completely different books, "There ARE people more dense than I was...!"_

Having come to a conclusion, Lily said with a grin, figuring that it might be at least somewhat enjoyable, "You know, Sev...based on who you have a crush on, I think it might help if we kissed each other once, just to see how it goes. What do you think?"

Lily had seen Severus embarrassed before, furious before, even tender before sometimes, but she had never seen him look at her quite like the way he was looking at her now; his eyes widened with some heated, burning emotion filling them and his mouth actually gaped in shock, much like her mom's when she had been told that Lily was a witch.

Severus did nothing but stand still for a moment, but then he walked over to her and looked at her with those eyes, both burning with some fierce emotion and filled with absolute terror. Finally, he held his right hand to her cheek and spoke as he caressed it tenderly, fear and something which almost seemed like desire audible, "Lily, are you sure that you want to? Are you sure?"

_Lily-prime rolled her eyes slightly at Severus' obvious insecurity, as this was clearly an open invitation, even if not for the reasons that he hoped for. 'At the least, it certainly couldn't hurt...'_

As she looked at him, Lily had the strangest feeling that she was missing something big, something pulsing in the very air as his eyes burrowed into her own. Nonetheless, she ignored it and said with a smile, holding the hand touching her cheek in her own, "I'm sure Sev, let's just try it fo-"

She was interrupted by the sensation of his other arm going around her waist and pulling her into him as Severus pressed his lips to hers. For a few seconds, it felt mildly awkward, then he started giving her a series of quick, hesitant kisses to her lips and Lily focused instead on that. After a couple of moments, she started responding in kind as she put her arms around his neck to keep his head from straying too far, trying to catch each of his kisses with one of her own as if in some sort of childish game.

As they continued kissing, Lily mentally evaluated Severus' skill as she had been taught by her girlfriends. The kisses themselves she was sure were nothing to write home about, being awkward little affairs, although that was to be expected as Lily doubted that Severus had ever kissed anyone before. Still, she couldn't help but moaning slightly into his mouth, as the kisses channeled such a great deal of emotion that Lily couldn't help but be dragged down in their wake...

After nearly two minutes of sustained kissing, Lily suddenly remembered that she had only planned on one or two of them. Thinking about it for a moment, she then shrugged. 'Oh well, both of us could definitely use the practice, especially if he's going to try his luck with Cel-es-te... Still, he could do SO much better than her...'

_'Hmm, one has to wonder...is it the target of his supposed affections that my counterpart dislikes...' Lily-prime mused, '...or the fact that it isn't her who is supposedly the target...?'_

As time passed, Lily found herself very much pleased by the fact that Severus could take his skills at learning things quickly and apply them to things other than school, very pleased indeed...

* * *

_Time passed, and that afternoon spent kissing one another threatened to become only a one-time thing as the weeks went by,as her counterpart had let Severus know that she had just been trying to have her first kiss._

_Although Severus was clearly heart-broken at this, Lily-prime could detect a certain difference in the way that her counterpart was viewing him as time went on. After thinking about it, she recognized it as similar to the way that she herself had looked at James: although not wanting to get involved with Severus because of his 'evil friends', she was certainly attracted to him nonetheless..._

_'I just hope that it will come to a better end than in my own life...' Lily-prime mused as the mirror reformed into an image of the boys' dormitory in Gryffindor tower..._

'Nothing...'

That was the thought that was running through James mind as he stared up at the ceiling from where he was laying on the floor of the Gryffindor boy's dorm. It had been the last day of O.W.L.s and he had been planning on seeing if he could get Lily Evans to go out on a date with him after he showed her what a loser her so-called 'best friend' was. Unfortunately, it didn't go quite according to plan...

_'Gee, I find it rather difficulty to be sympathetic to the person that James used to be... He really was quite a toerag...'_

'Hell, that is the understatement of the century! That had to be the most HUMILIATING thing that ever happened to me, and it's all that GIT'S FAULT! He probably PLANNED it somehow!' James all but gnashed his teeth in his embarrassed fury as he remembered what had happened.

It had been just after their Defense written tests were complete, and Sirius had clearly been bored, when James had seen an opportunity to get a date from Lily. He and the rest of his buddies had snuck up on that Slytherin git, Snivellus Snape, and they had gotten him with a quick spurt of hexes. After teasing him a little, James had just needed to wait for Lily to show up to defend the bloke...

As usual, he had tried to joke around with her and make it clear that he wanted to go out on a date with her, but this time had been very, VERY different from before... James shivered at the recollection, never wanting to see that happen again...

_'If it was different, it was probably a good thing, ew.' Lily shuddered at her newfound recollections of her old time-line..._

While many of the words on Lily's part had been the same, the atmosphere surrounding them was completely different; previously, she had always had this look of heated anger mixed with a spark of attraction in her eyes, which he had taken solace in even though James had to suffer through her having scum like Snivellus as a friend...

In contrast, each of her words had had an icy edge behind them, as if she really meant them instead of merely bantering; her response to his offer to leave Snivellus alone if she had gone out with him had been particularly painful, even though she had agreed to it after a few minutes of thought. She hadn't even really listened to where he had offered to take her, focused completely on binding him magically to his word when she wasn't busy undoing the hexes on Ol' Snivelly...

The most soul-destroying moment had been when James had valiently offered her his hand in agreement with a brilliant smile...and Lily had barely even glanced at him before shaking his hand for a fraction of a second, going immediately back to check on Snape, who had watched James with a look of triumph and the smallest fraction of pity...

_'I wonder what might have happened if I actually HAD agreed to James' offer; what might have happened if Severus no longer had to worry about being bullied?' Lily-prime wondered to herself, not having seriously considered James' suggestion of one date to protect Severus for the rest of his time at Hogwarts at the time..._

It had been at that moment that James had realized that going out with him had merely been a necessary evil, a sacrifice she was making for SNIVELLUS' benefit, and that he could have literally been a lump of dirt on the ground for all that she cared about their date. It had crushed James even more than the idea that she still chose Snape as her best friend over him...

Until this day, James had always taken solace in the fact that while Lily considered Snape a 'true friend' and thus emotionally involved with him, HE was the one who she was physically attracted to. Over the past year, he had even begun to grow hopeful, as Lily had been very impressed with him for saving the greasy git after Sirius had pranked him with Lupin's werewolf form in the Shrieking Shack. Things had even begun to look up, and now...

_'Sirius...nearly killed Severus...and James had the audacity to brag about it to me...?'_

___Lily-prime froze in shock, barely able to believe James' own thoughts in this... He was just shrugging off the fact that, if Lily-prime believed what Mary had said in the previous time-line, Sirius had tried to KILL Severus. If it had been just a prank, it was bad enough, but... 'Maybe the two of them were referring to a different attack... I really doubt it though...'_

James sighed, then privately admitted the truth to himself, 'In her eyes, I'm neither physically attractive, someone she considers morally acceptable, nor romantically interesting... I am now NOTHING...nothing more than some guy she has to spend a day with for HIS sake!'

He spent the rest of the evening mourning his lost love...tears pouring from his eyes as he knew that the odds of winning his war for Lily had just burst into flames...

* * *

_Lily-prime decided to wait until this time-line was complete before she started thinking about the revelation she had heard. Meanwhile, time passed and James started dating Sabrina Percival in an effort to forget her. Meanwhile, similar to the previous years and time-lines, Severus grappled with his dreams of joining the Death Eaters and his affection for Lily-prime's counterpart. However, much like in her own time-line, eventually something had to give..._

_Finally, the mirror reformed to a new scene, out on the Hogwarts grounds by the lake..._

Lily fidgeted as she watched Severus from behind, nervous because this was a Severus she had rarely if ever seen before; even from where she was watching, a good fifty feet back, she could see him shaking like a leaf as he buried his face in his hands. A cloud of depression seemed to fill the air around him, and Lily found it hard to believe that the sun could still be shining brightly down on him with how gloomy the picture of him was...

Still...Lily couldn't help but feel a tad gleeful at what was likely the cause of his pain, as if it was what she thought it was, then it would make her very happy indeed...

_Lily-prime couldn't help but wonder what her counterpart was so cheerful about, suspecting that it might have something to do with Severus' 'associates'..._

Shaking her head, Lily reminded herself that regardless of how good it would be for him in the long run, Severus was hurting NOW and he needed comforting...something which Lily was very happy to give him. Taking a moment to focus on how important it was to comfort Severus of what pain he must be feeling, and how important it was to NOT cheer if her suppositions were correct, Lily walked over to Severus and gently put her hand on his shoulder...

For several minutes, he ignored her completely and Lily waited in silence for him to say something. Finally, Severus said in a quiet, broken voice, sounding almost on the verge of tears as he looked away from her, "This is all your fault, Lily... If you hadn't made me... If I hadn't listened... Merlin, I wish I could hate you..."

Severus turned to look at her with a pain-filled glare that both hurt her and made Lily want to wrap her arms around him and cuddle him like a beaten child, then he said bitterly, voice growing louder and almost turning into pained shrieking as he went on, "You know what, Lily? Thanks a lot, REALLY. Becase of YOU, I've lost almost ALL my friends, my life's RUINED, most of my house HATES me, so just GO! Leave me alone YOU STUPID GIRL! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"

_Lily-prime swallowed as she watched Severus acting like this, barely able to look at him in this much pain. What saddened her most though was the fact that this was only the SECOND-most hurt time that she had seen him... Still, she couldn't help but be curious what her counterpart had done..._

As his words rang out across the grounds, Severus shoved her hand off of his shoulder and started to stalk off toward the castle, but Lily wasn't going to let him get away that easily; quickly following him, she tried to grab his right arm, only for him to push her away once more as he kept walking.

Refusing to permit him to escape her now of all times, Lily grabbed him in a bear hug and lifted him off the ground as he tried to fight her off of him, shouting at her to let go all the while; after nearly a minute of this, she lost her grip, and his weight sent them both crashing to the ground. Luckily though, she had managed to twist around him somehow in the process and had him pinned beneath her, making Lily grin for a moment as they landed on the dew-drenched lawn...

The smile faded almost instantly though as she saw the tears in Severus' eyes, something she hadn't seen in years; he never cried, not even when he had been humiliated by Potter in the most cruel pranks imaginable had she seen tears in his eyes. Lily started to feel tears of her own forming, as she felt a guilty sensation burning in her gut as the suspicion that she had caused them played through her mind mockingly.

Not knowing what else to do, Lily tried to wrap her arms around his body as best as she could while they were stuck like this, then whispered while looking into his pitch-black eyes, "Please, Severus, tell me what's happened. What's wrong?"

He looked up at her blankly for a few seconds, then gave a small, slightly mad smile as said in a falsly-cheery voice that seemed like it should belong to a corpse, not a living, breathing human being and especially not someone like Severus,

_Lily-prime was also disturbed as well, and realized that Severus must be in a state of complete hysteria as she had never seen him like THIS before..._

"You know what, Lily? I was having a pretty good day up until about an hour ago; I had been working on my potions, prepping to show a new iteration of the 'Draught of Living Death' to Slughorn, when Rosier came up to me and said that he wanted to speak with me in private. So we went walking down to an abandoned classroom, where the rest of the knights were. I then asked him 'So...what's going on, Evan?', and do you know what he told me?"

Lily could only whisper as she looked into her best friends eyes, wondering if he were about to go completely spare on her, "No, Sev, what did he say?"

Severus continued speaking in that same, slightly manic-sounding voice, making Lily very glad that he was out of reach of his wand at the moment,

"Rosier told me that I was no longer a member of the Knights of Walpurgis; he said that I had failed all of their hopes of rising above my pathetic status and was now no longer worthy of being a member of their elite membership. Apparently, I'd became a blood-traitor and no longer deserved to join, so they took my badge and threw me out of the room. I begged them to change their minds, but they all laughed and said that scum like me wasn't worth their time. You hear that? I am scum!"

The tears started to flow down his cheeks, dripping onto the ground, as Severus then said with that same, partially-insane smile,

"Apparently, following those suggestions you've been making me has paid off in a big way! Now I have no friends but you, and that probably won't last very long either! After all, who wants to be friends with a greasy git reject from the slums who has absolutely no prospects!? No-one! Hell, I don't even want to be friends with me! So you might as well get going now and save us all some time!"

_Lily-prime stared in surprise and slowly-growing understanding; she had had a pretty good idea that his father abused him, and she knew that James and his Marauders had been cruel to Severus at school, but she had never really considered the effects on him from all of that..._

Lily didn't know what to say, never having realized that Severus had this low of a self-image of himself; not able to come up with anything else, she started kissing him, trying to make him understand that he wasn't alone in a physical way and trying to communicate this with every brush of her lips against his.

After a few seconds, Severus started kissing her back roughly, far more roughly than the time that they had kissed beforehand. Lily could feel his fear, his anger, his self-hatred and loneliness channeled in each of his kisses and cried for her broken friend as she kissed back, trying to show her affection, her love for him and most of all her promise that he would never be alone...

She saw Severus' eyes widen slightly as she responded fervently, and he opened his mouth in shock, creating an opening for her tongue to press into. He tasted like...she couldn't describe it, but it reminded Lily of winter, when everything is covered and concealed by a cold blanket of snow and one feels completely alone in the world...

Pulling him up from the ground so that they could continue this more comfortably, never halting her exploration of the inside of his mouth, Lily continued to kiss him as their tears fell and mingled with the dew on the ground...

After awhile, both of them had stopped crying, but it wasn't until another half-hour had passed that the two of them stopped...

* * *

_Lily-prime had to admit that it did surprise her slightly to see that Severus was partially incorrect, as Mulciber stuck by him, although Avery followed 'party lines' in ostracizing Severus within Slytherin. _

_Nonetheless, although she could tell that Severus wasn't doing too great, her counterpart was doing her best to try and heal his 'bumps and bruises'. The two of them had started dating the same day as Severus' leaving the Knights, and Lily-prime was glad to see that it appeared to be stable. However, that didn't mean that the past didn't intrude sometimes..._

"Huhh..."

As Severus sighed, looking longingly over at a table on the other side of the Three Broomsticks, Lily desperately wanted to roll her eyes and give him a light whack on the head. It had been nearly three months since his removal from the Knights, and he still got depressed whenever he saw them together.

"Huhh..."

Deciding that enough was enough, Lily promptly gave Severus that light rap on the skull she had considered earlier, causing him to wince and look at her reproachfully. Giving him a 'look', Lily then said with a little huff,

"Come on, Sev. They weren't and still aren't worth it, not if they only wanted you if you would join them on their bullying and call people 'Mudblood' while teaching them your spells. They just wanted to USE you, not be your friends."

_'She's definitely right about that; with the exception of Mulciber and maybe Avery, I don't think that they were really his friends...'_

Severus looked away from her for a moment, then said coolly, "I know that NOW, but at least I had more than two people I called friends back then. Besides, now I can no longer...never mind..."

Lily looked at him for a moment, then asked curiously, "What is it, Sev? Come on, you can tell me..."

Severus blushed for a moment, then said with a touch of embarrassment, "Actually, I really wanted to join them because I thought that it might help me to make something of myself, be somebody important. I knew that they had some bad characteristics, like how they bullied people and such, but I figured that it would all be worth it when I became a Death Eater and such... Plus I thought..."

Severus' blush deepened until his face was completely red, then he said quietly, barely audibly, "I thought that when I became a brilliant, powerful wizard that you might like me more, as I would be better than some reject from Spinner's End..."

For a moment, Lily could only gape at him in disbelief, then she started laughing as she savored the sheer irony. She had known that the two of them had had some miscommunications, but this was LUDICROUS, that he thought that his joining the Death Eaters would impress her.

_'Wow...didn't really see that one coming; I mean, COME ON! If he wanted to impress me, then he should have just sent his Potions textbook to some magazine. Now THAT would have been impressive!' Lily-prime was in shock as Severus' complete, in his own words, 'dunderheadedness'._

Meanwhile, Severus looked as if he wanted to crawl under a rock, standing up from the table and mumbling something that sounded like "Err...right, I guess I'll just go now...". Still laughing, Lily grabbed him by the arm and forced him back down to the table, before saying with a snicker,

"Severus, just so that you know... I love you very much, but YOU'RE A COMPLETELY MORONIC IDIOT! I wasn't the LEAST BIT impressed by the idea of you becoming a Death Eater; in fact, I HATED the very IDEA of it! If you had become one, then odds are that we wouldn't even be here on a bloody date! If you wanted to make you like me more, then getting rejected by the Death Eaters was probably the best bloody brilliant thing that could have happened to you!"

Severus looked as if someone had just hit him over the head...again, and mumbled something about how he was a complete, moronic fool who probably didn't deserve her for his sheer stupidity. Sighing, Lily put her right arm around Severus and pulled him closer, cheek pressed against his arm as she said tenderly, "Sev, you might be a bit of a fool sometimes, but you're my fool and I love you for it. You should have just told me, you prat... Any Gryffindor would have known better than to hide something like that..."

_Lily had a bad feeling like this, as Severus tended to feel that Gryffindors were reckless fools in general, much like Gryffindors thought that Slytherins were conniving, ambitious sods who didn't care much for bravery. This was an opinion that Severus had been quite happy to confirm as true, saying that there was a difference between bravery and 'Gryffindor bravery', the latter of which he compared to jumping out of an aeroplane after removing one's parachute..._

He didn't say anything in response in spite of the 'Gryffindor' comment, but Lily could tell that he was at ease again as he put his arm around her as well, so she sighed contentedly as she snuggled in slightly. 'Severus makes such a nice pillow...although he could still use a bit more fattening up; I'd better make sure that I have him over for the Summer so mum ca-AH!'

Lily's eyes popped open as she realized that while she had been primarily interested in just snuggling, Severus had apparently had something different in mind as his hand slipped past the waist-band of her skirt and well...down THERE. Trying her best to ignore what he was doing, Lily then hissed at him, "What the HELL do you think you are doing, Sev!?"

Severus turned and gave her a wicked smirk, then whispered back mischievously, giving her a quick peck on the lips as he did so, "Well, if you want me to be more like a Gryffindor, then let's see if you can learn some Slytherin subtlety..."

'Ooh, that pr-AT!' It was official, she was going to kill him, just as soon as they were finished... It was a good thing that they were sitting in a corner, although 'Slytherin Subtlety' was apparently quite difficult when Severus' fingers were involved...

_'Hmm, based on my counterpart's reactions I would say that Severus must have improved drastically on the 'physical relationship' part, and not just at the kissing portion of it. Still, if that is his idea of revenge, I'm pretty sure that the majority of my counterparts would be happy if he took it on them, very happy indeed...' Lily-prime herself couldn't help but squirm slightly at the thought..._

* * *

_As Lily-prime watched, Severus and her counterpart continued dating for a couple of years, only to marry in the fall of 1979. However, she was mildly displeased to see that Severus didn't join the Order of the Phoenix like her counterpart did, at least not at first..._

_Finally the scene reformed to a kitchen, where Lily-prime saw her counterpart and Severus arguing..._

"...you PRAT! What the hell were you thinking!? Was it something like 'Oh, I'm gonna get inducted to the Order and not let my wife know until my first meeting; that'll be a blast!'? Because if so, I'm going to wring your too-skinny NECK!"

"Please, Lily, I can explain-"

"Oh, please, DO try!" Lily glared at Severus as he edged slowly away from her, obviously terrified and for good reason, as Lily was seriously considering making him park his scrawny rear on the couch for a good three weeks out of sheer anger and terror.

Severus swallowed nervously, then said, unable to suppress a small amount of fidgeting in spite of his formerly iron-clad self-control, "Well, you see, I didn't want to get in another argument about this again because-"

_Lily-prime had to admit that she was surprised by the fact that one of her counterparts was actually arguing AGAINST the idea of Severus being in the Order, but shrugged as she waited for the scene in the mirror to continue..._

Lily then interrupted scathingly, starting to rant in her distress, "Another argument? Of COURSE we would argue again about this, Sev! I absolutely REFUSE to let you join the Order just because I did! Only join if you think that it's the right thing to do..."

Obviously trying to calm her down, Severus tried to put his arms around her, but Lily shoved him away and continued her rant,"...Don't you remember that time that you followed me into the Forbidden Forest and got bitten by that THING!? I spent weeks-"

"Of course I-"

"-in tears after that! I am NOT going to let you get killed in some war you aren't even sure about, just because I'm in it! I REFUSE, got that!?" Tears started falling from her eyes while she continued, trying to wipe the tears away as she shouted, "I've already had FAR too many friends die in this stupid war! I'm NOT losing my husband just for MY sake, I'M NOT! So go back to Dumbledore and tell him you've changed your mind, got it, Sev!?"

_'Ah, that explains it...'_

Once again, Severus tried to put his arms around Lily, and this time she allowed him to do so while she continued crying into his robes. He hugged her for several seconds, making shushing noises much like he used to do when she was nine and had had a nightmare, then he said quietly, "Lily, you didn't let me finish; I didn't want to argue because I've come to agree with you on this, and that the Order is the closest thing to the good guys in this forsaken war."

Lily looked up at him in surprise, watching his face to see if he was lying, but finding nothing. After a couple of minutes, she asked curiously, her tears already beginning to dry, "But, Sev, didn't you say 'Any side which those blasted Marauders join CANNOT be a good side, especially not that dunderheaded Order'?"

Severus smiled slightly, clearly glad to see that she was no longer crying, but said with a roll of the eyes, "Trust me when I say that the Order are the good guys in SPITE of, not because of the Marauders. If it hadn't been for them, I would have probably joined when you did, and not just because my beautiful wife was joining."

Lily sighed after giving him a quick peck on the cheek for his compliment, no longer sad, but still exasperated at how he could never seem to forgive them. Rolling her eyes as she wiped the last of her tears away, Lily said with a touch of annoyance,

"You still can't forgive them for that prank, can you, Sev? I know that it was dangerous, cruel and could have resulted in your death, don't get me wrong, but why can't you forgive James for it? I mean, I can understand why you'll never forgive Sirius, but why not James and Remus?"

_Lily-prime could almost feel her ears sharpen as she felt that this might just be the answer to the mystery that she had lately been pondering about that one incident..._

Severus seemed to evaluate her visually for a moment, then said carefully, "I know that Potter told you what he claimed happened earlier this year; repeat it to me and you'll see why I don't think that it makes sense..."

Lily frowned at him, then started speaking slowly,

"Well, James told me that he, Sirius and Pettigrew were walking out through the Great Hall, when Sirius mentioned how he had come up with this 'brilliant prank'. Apparently, he intended to give you the scare of your life by sending you down through the hole by the Whomping Willow and into the Shrieking Shack. Upon hearing this, James shouted something 'heroic' about how even prats like you didn't deserve to die, although I'm pretty sure that that was just a bit of exaggeration. He then went running off to the Shrieking Shack, leaving his cloak behind with his frien-"

_Lily-prime sighed, as this was nothing more than what James had told her, although there was clearly a lot less trust in James coming from her counterpart. Perfectly understandable as she clearly had never gotten as close to James as Lily-prime had..._

"Stop right there;" Severus interrupted suddenly, "Now, think about that very carefully. Potter claimed that HE went running off to the Shrieking Shack alone, KNOWING that I was in a dangerous, life-threatening situation, correct? Meanwhile, Black and Pettigrew followed along behind him at walking speed, making it so that Potter was the only one who could reach me in time. Do you see what I'm getting at now?

Lily nodded slowly, starting to see what Severus was saying and feeling a touch uneasy about it,

"Black knew that the werewolf was highly dangerous, and could easily cost his so-called 'best friend' his life, yet didn't even bother to follow him when he was in grave danger. Although I can see that coming from Pettigrew, given how he tried to betray us all last year, I can't QUITE believe that Black would allow Potter to go into such danger alone. Even if he did, what kind of idiot would keep calling him his best friend afterward? It just doesn't make sense."

Lily frowned, trying to think through it carefully; although she had once thought Severus to be completely paranoid, he did have a tendency to see what other people missed, and she had to admit that his logic was very sound indeed in this case. If Sirius had helped rescue Severus, then why didn't anyone mention it? And if he had let James do it alone, then why would James have ever forgiven him? Finally, she whispered, "What do you think did happen then, Severus?"

Severus looked at her gravely, then said bluntly,

"I think that Potter was in on it from the beginning, and he just so happened to get cold feet, while his two friends covered for him. I missed it at the time, but it's the only thing that really makes sense in my opinion. I think that he was supposed to be there to watch me get bitten or DIE, and that's why none of the others were there, as they didn't expect him to put himself into danger."

He paused for a moment, then continued sarcastically,

"The only alternative would be that Potter had some other way of being safe, but in that case then Black is nothing more than a murderer who got unlucky, as he put me into life-threatening danger and did nothing about it even AFTER being warned by Potter. Personally, I doubt that possibility GREATLY, as I can't think of anything that would have protected James that he would have been unafraid to reveal to me or Dumbledore when he was asked about the evening."

_Lily-prime could see what Severus was trying to say, and it was really quite chilling when she thought about it. Although Severus was mistaken about James' 'protection', as James couldn't reveal that he and his friends were Animagi, it did make her wonder why all of James' tales had never mentioned Sirius helping him in the rescue..._

Lily nodded slowly, wanting to take a break from this topic so that she could think things over herself, then said, "Well, Sev, it's getting pretty late and I'm PRETTY sure that we missed dinner. Mind fixing us something up? I'm in the mood for...actually chocolate-covered fish-and-chips, now that I think about it."

Rolling his eyes, Severus allowed her to change the subject and said, clearly exasperated, "Lily, fish-and-chips are fine, I SUPPOSE. However, there is no way that we are going to be including chocolate on them again!" He then mumbled, "Stupid pregnancy cravings, stupid hormones, never should have agreed to having a child in the first place..."

Giggling for a moment, Lily nodded and said, "You making regular fish-and-chips will be fine, Sev. Now, go and whip us up some fish-and-chips while I relax on the sofa! Chop-chop!"

As Severus sighed and started to cook them both dinner, Lily grinned inwardly. After all, SHE had never agreed not to put chocolate on her food. 'I suppose that Slytherin subtlety IS good for something...!'

_Lily-prime snorted, unable to resist laughing slightly as her counterpart waited for dinner, planning on dousing it in chocolate sauce..._

* * *

_Lily-prime continued watching as the battle against the Death Eaters heated up, Severus' early discovery of the spy giving the Order the opportunity to continue the fight longer, until Crouch took control of the Ministry and put it on a total war footing. In spite of this, it only seemed to be slowing Voldemort down rather than stopping him, and she began to worry that this time-line might end badly..._

_Then Severus and Lily came up with an idea, based on Severus' own experiences..._

"...Mr. Weasley, stop assisting your neighbor! Miss Swanlark will have to pass or fail ON HER OWN!"

"But sir!"

"No 'buts', and if you continue asking it will be 'points' taken from your sorry 'butt'!" Lily bit back a chuckle at Severus' mild joke as she watched him teach his first Potions class of the day while she hid behind a Disillusionment charm; it wasn't that it was a particularly funny one, but that Severus' tendency not to make jokes made the ones he did more valuable to her. It was really quite a shame that he generally tried to push people away...

It was rather ironic, considering that Severus had a tendency to be unpleasant to almost everyone he met, that he had somehow been stuck in the role of a professor. Lily suspected that it had been as a form of punishment for the fact that _'Red Garden' _was idea and he had basically shoved it down the Order's throat, as it was a plan to help Slytherins, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs rather than only Gryffindors...

_'Yup, that would go over brilliantly with the Order I'm sure...'_

"Miss Swanlark, please explain how you decided that it would be intelligent to put crow feathers into the potion when the recipe says root of mandrake!"

Lily snorted, then continued her musings about _'Red Garden'_; a couple of years ago, Lily had been looking into the recruitment trends for the Ministry, the Order and the Death Eaters on a bit of a lark, and she had noticed something that had been truly disturbing: while both the Ministry and the Death Eaters had a fair proportion of people from Gryffindor, something like 90% of the members of the Order came from that one house, with him being the solitary Slytherin.

When she had brought this up, the other Order members merely said that only a few people from the other houses ever bothered to contact them about joining the Order. This had seemed fine, until Lily had asked how the recruitment of people from those houses went, and how they scouted for candidates from those houses. After all, she and the Marauders had been encouraged to join the Order since mid-seventh year...

That was when the problem made itself obvious: there was no active recruiting going on within the other houses, and less than half of those who expressed interest in joining the Order from those houses were actually permitted to join, typically only the ones who had Gryffindor friends and family within the Order already.

_Lily-prime frowned; she hadn't been much involved in the Order recruitment process during her time alive, but that sounded much like she supposed it would have been done... In hindsight, it sounded really, really stupid... _

Severus had been positively furious when he had heard that, and Lily had needed to leave the room with him for a moment in order to calm him down. He had then looked at her and asked her quietly, _"Lily, how can we possibly be surprised that the Dark Lord gets stronger and stronger with each passing year if the Order is doing this? Every voice that I heard while I was in Slytherin save yours was telling me either to join the Dark Lord or that I was 'destined' to become a Dark wizard. The Order has left them all alone in the dark and wonders why they aren't interested in joining them? The Order isn't even trying to stop Slytherin from being a Death Eater recruiting pool; hell, they're CREATING it!"_

Over the next few weeks, as Severus had thought out his idea to counteract this problem, Lily had thought about what he had meant and was chilled at the implications.

Since she had arrived in Hogwarts, she had been hearing from all of her house how Slytherins were the enemy, and how most of them were evil. With the exception of Severus, she had grown to believe this quickly and had proceeded to avoid any and all Slytherins during her time at Hogwarts. Most of the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs did the same, and Lily was one of the only students in Gryffindor who had a friend in Slytherin. As a fair quantity of the Slytherins ended up joining Voldemort upon graduation, Lily had felt somewhat vindicated in her position at the time...

_Lily-prime couldn't help but recall how she had felt the same way at the time, but now that she had seen what some of those Slytherins were like...she wasn't so sure..._

However, what if it hadn't been inevitable because of some quality of Slytherin house, but because they had been told that they were Dark so many times that they had actually grown to believe it?

Lily had been reminded chillingly of the time that James had complained to her during his sixth year about how Severus was such a prat for how he mocked him all the time and she had said, _"Well, gee, you spent years attacking him and humiliating him and you're surprised that he despises you now? Do try to grow up, Potter!"_

'We spent years telling them that they were dark and evil just because of their house and we're surprised that they don't want to join us now?' Lily paraphrased her thoughts from then and thought to herself, 'If it weren't for Severus' _'Red Garden'_, then I don't know what we'd do to counteract this...'

_'Was that what happened with Severus? Did he hear how he was a worthless piece of slime destined to be a Dark wizard for so long that he began to believe it?' Lily-prime swallowed, feeling guilt churning..._

_'Red Garden'_ was a highly ambitious proposal on Severus' part; it consisted of two major parts: first, cross-house partnering was now a REQUIREMENT in all classes in an effort to foster out-of-house friendships. Second, Lily and Severus came up with a series of activities for the students to do, reminiscent of the 'Slug Club' but without the strict invitation requirements. Third, the Order would begin the recruitment process at fourteen rather than waiting until seventh year, and would encourage people of ALL houses to join.

Obviously, proposal three had triggered alot of opposition, both because of the young ages of the target and the fact that it was non-Gryffindor students, but _'Red Garden' _had managed to get started nonetheless...

"Very well then! Mr. Weasley, Miss Swanlark, five points each from Gryffindor and Slytherin!"

"Aw, come on!"

"But professor!"

"Class is dismissed, leave now before I make it ten points!"

As the class left, Lily stifled a giggle and crept up behind Severus, preparing to surprise him when he said with a touch of amusement, "You know, Lily, I saw you nearly half an hour ago. A bit early for your third-year class, I believe...unless you had something different in mind, Mrs. Snape..." He gave her a slightly raised eyebrow and a rather sexy little smirk as he said the last part in a bedroom voice, causing her to color slightly.

_'Let's see...silky voice plus confidence plus brilliance... Yeah, I would have been doomed if he had grown up to be like that...and enjoyed every minute of it.' Lily-prime mused to herself with a titter._

"Not now you little perv!" Lily couldn't resist a giggle though as she rolled her eyes at her husband's antics. As he had grown more confident around her with the years passing, Severus had also grown more...eager. Sometimes she wondered if it was his ambitious Slytherin nature, but then again, she wasn't complaining.

As Severus sighed melodramatically, Lily composed herself and said curiously, "So, how are they testing your patience today, Sev?"

Severus sighed again, this time more seriously, then said, "Well, none of them are up to our standards; hell, only three of them are even up to Potter, Black or Longbottom's standards!" Rolling his eyes, Severus then said seriously, "I never thought I'd see the day that I would be wishing for a Potter or a Black, although a Longbottom would be fine. Hell, I would KILL to have an entire class of Longbottoms right about now!"

_Somehow, Lily-prime had a bad feeling about that, like there were a million Severus Snapes screaming in pain. She couldn't figure out why though..._

Lily smiled, just enjoying the day as they both waited for her next class, bantering like they always had until Severus had to go check on little Eris. She was very glad that she hadn't left HER Slytherin alone in the dark...

* * *

_As Lily-prime watched, this war turned into a decade-long battle of attrition, one which the Death Eaters ended up losing. A major part of that was the fact that the number of people in the Order ballooned over the years since Severus' little project began. Although the Order recruitment part ended after the war was over, the other parts rapidly became Hogwarts traditions, and Severus and her counterpart were lauded as having ushered in a new wave of inter-house cooperation. __Severus did not enjoy the notoriety much, but his suffering wails were only heard by his wife and daughter..._

_Unlike in several other time-lines when Voldemort fell at Dumbledore's wand, there was no strange resurrection, and peace continued for years..._

"OK, remember, it's seven stirs clockwise then one counter-clockwise. Got it, Eris?"

"Yes dad, although I think that your recipe on burn salves could still use some work. Did you have mom check through it?"

"Of course I did, now keep stirring...good." Severus watched, pleased, as his daughter's potion turned a perfect shade of light blue. She was the best in her class and was supposedly so impressive that it made it so that he almost missed teaching his Potions class now that she had started attending Hogwarts, although he very much enjoyed his research.

_Lily-prime was beginning to notice a bit of a theme; it seemed that Severus had a tendency for jobs which didn't involve dealing much with people, other than those he knew and trusted..._

Lily sometimes teased him about how little Eris was a perfect Daddy's girl at Hogwarts, and how she spent her time with her nose in a book so much that she kept expecting to see printing on her forehead. Of course, Severus could always point at little Ares when she mentioned that, as their son had grown up so much like their mother that Severus sometimes wondered if he would grow breasts when he hit his teens. In the name of household unity though, he had always kept that little tidbit to himself...

Smiling slightly, Severus started to leave the room so that his daughter could work in peace, only to find that Eris had tied his shoelaces while he wasn't working. As he glared at her from his position flat on the ground, she started giggling and quickly skipped out of the room while shouting, "See you next fall I suppose, dad!"

Slowly standing up and casting a quick spell to redo his shoelaces, Severus mused as he counted to ten, 'If only I knew where that mischivous streak of Eris' was coming from, and how the hell did she end up in Gryffindor?' Severus shook his head, wondering how his daughter had become such a prankster over the years...

_'He should have heard my father moaning about me sometimes!' Lily-prime couldn't help but laugh slightly. 'Severus sounds just like him!_

Walking over to the kitchen of their home, Severus heard the sound of giggling coming from the two women of the family and quickly strode in to find Eris and her mother conversing in whispers; watching them talk, Severus savored a quick moment of watching his beautiful wife as she chatted with her daughter about -heaven forbid- BOYS...

Even after nearly twenty years of marriage, Severus still loved the aura of light that seemed to surround her, and he smiled as he saw her put the tips of her fingers to her lips to suppress another laugh. Lily had a few small lines on her face, but they seemed to enhance her beauty rather than take away from it, giving her face evidence of the wisdom she had obtained over the years. Still, what entranced him the most about her was her emerald green, almond-shaped eyes, which still shined just like they had when he first saw her at the age of seven...

As he watched, he smiled once more at the thought of the engraving that Lily had put on his wedding ring all those years ago, and Severus turned his ring slightly just to look at it. It symbolized why he loved her so much and her promise to him, consisting of two phrases chosen by himself and her respectively _'My light, my heart, Lily.'_, and _'Never alone.'_.

_Lily-prime swallowed, no longer laughing; it was touching to hear Severus' thoughts of love and devotion for her counterpart, even though it had been nearly twenty years. It was...beautiful..._

Breaking his revery, Severus calmly walked over to the two women and said coolly, "Lily, I'm afraid that our daughter has something to tell you, a sordid tale of a shoestring and a wand if I'm not mistaken."

As Lily gave her daughter one of her infamous 'looks', Eris smiled nervously and said, "Yeah, I suppose I could tell you... You see, it's like this..."

While Eris told her rather exaggerated story to her mother, Severus couldn't help but ponder where she had learned to act this way. 'Oh well, I'm sure that those two older boys she keeps mentioning will be able to explain when I ask...'

It later turned out he didn't have to ask them; Fred and George Weasley were living, breathing explanations of their own accord...

* * *

_Lily-prime frowned as the time-line ended; she firstly considered the surprising piece of information that she had heard about Severus' opinion of himself, although she suspected that it was somewhat exagerrated by a major case of teenage angst at the time. _

_It seemed to make quite a bit of sense now that she thought about it. She had always known that Severus had a somewhat low opinion of himself, but she had never realized just how low. However, now that she thought about it, he had had almost everyone telling him that he was just a git who would turn out bad... _

_'And when he needed me most, I let him down, condemning him to the same fate everyone else did and telling him that he was going to be a Death Eater...' Lily-prime sighed once more, before looking away from the mirror in contemplation. _

_'__What might have happened if I had kept faith in him? Instead of going after WHO he was with, what might have happened if I had focused on WHAT he was doing? Hell, what might have happened if we had ALL done the same thing for Slytherin house as a whole? We basically left them alone in the dark, just as this Severus has claimed...'_

_Lily-prime, feeling unsure and guilty, decided to look at the other major thing she learned before she started moping. 'As for what Severus claimed to my counterpart about the Werewolf incident, that is really something to think about. Even if James rescued Severus for his own good, something I'm not entirely sure of, that doesn't excuse what Sirius did. He deliberately put Severus in grave danger, then when James went off to rescue Severus, he did nothing.'_

_Lily-prime knew that James, Sirius and Peter were all Animagi, and that that protected them from Remus when he was transformed, so that explained why Sirius wasn't worried about James. Still though, he knew that Severus was in mortal danger and had put him in it, then did absolutely nothing about it... _

_'And I used to call Sirius my best friend... I can't believe that James forgave him of that...nevermind, I can...' _

_Lily-prime moaned, wondering just how much more of this she was expected to take before snapping. It was as if her life was being picked apart ruthlessly to discover all of her mistakes and flaws, before highlighting them in front of her eyes..._

_'I wonder what would have happened had I lived; would I have ever discovered my errors, or would I have never found out about them...?' _

**Author's Note: **Obviously, I disagree with Dumbledore's presentation of the werewolf incident greatly, as I cannot understand how someone could possibly consider sending a boy down to visit a werewolf INTENTIONALLY to be anything short of a murder attempt; this is compounded by the fact that Sirius TOLD James about it, then James ran off to rescue Severus, but Sirius did nothing for all we know.

Mind you, there could be other reasons for this lack of action, and I'm sure that J.K.R. has a very good excuse as to why she doesn't consider it attempted murder (After all, they seem to be her darlings to some extent). However, from what we hear in canon, it's a murder attempt in my eyes.

Now that Lily has learned most of WHAT she did wrong, she will have the opportunity to learn WHY she made her incorrect choices...

On a offtopic, I hope that the content in this chapter doesn't qualify for an 'M' rating. If it is, I apologize and will fix it.

**_VOTING ON FUTURE ONESHOTS IS NOW CLOSED._**

**For the sake of the plot, such as there is one, I have chosen the two final oneshots on my own...then the epilogue will arrive. I apologize for your inconvenience...**


	8. A Reasonable Fate

**What if? The Purgatory of Lily**

**Chapter 8**

**A Reasonable Fate**

_Sometimes things are too late to change, for better or worse..._

**_Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series._**

Lily was glad that the mirror had paused for the moment, as she was still in a state of stunned disbelief at what she had heard in the last time-line; while she severely doubted that James had intentionally tried to kill Severus, there could be no question that Sirius had, and Lily was certain that he was only ever remorseful about the incident because he had gotten caught. After all, she could still remember him moaning about the month of detentions he had gotten afterward...

Lily then smacked herself on the forehead, bemoaning her past stupidity, 'Was I really that DENSE at the time? Was I really so caught up in my studies and tales of James' heroics that I missed all the blatant signs that were practically screaming at me!? And what of James? He had to have known that Sirius had actually tried to kill Severus, not just prank him, didn't he?'

Lily considered what she knew about the aftermath, with James bragging triumphantly to everyone who would listen about how he had saved the 'legendary Slytherin greaseball', Sirius grinning and laughing by his side.

'Was James just as blind as I was about what Sirius had done, blinding himself with the 'fact' that Sirius had only meant it as a prank so he didn't have to think about it? Or did he know and just not care because it was Sirius who had done it and Severus who had been the victim?'

As much as Lily wanted to believe otherwise, as James was her husband whatever his flaws, she was all but certain that it was the latter and not the former. His actions in bragging about it indicated it as such, as he would have probably mentioned that it was Sirius' prank if he had actually believed it to be just a prank...

Considering the other question she had been asking herself, Lily had to admit that she had indeed been THAT dense at the time... 'Why though? Why did I become that dense? I mean, if I need this BLASTED mirror to look back to see what I missed, then I have must been pretty bloody thick-headed! So what the hell made me become that way!?'

Lily started to rant aloud, shouting as she got up to pace around the room, "After all, the signs are so BLATANT and OBVIOUS in my other-lives that an eight-year-old could see them! It's clear that just about EVERYONE but me knew about Severus' feelings toward me, and the signs of the truth of the werewolf incident were right in front of me when I talked to him about it! I mean, if I hadn't bloody DIED and looked into this STUPID mirror, then would I have EVER found out about this stuff!?"

Lily didn't know how to answer her own questions in that, but apparently the mirror had decided on another time-line to view, as it started swirling once more...

As Lily prepared to view the new time-line, she could have sworn that she heard a voice not unlike her own chuckle and say, "You silly, foolish girl..."

* * *

"OK, let's see...I think that the Death Eaters might be catching up to Sirius; even though he's going into hiding, I dunno how long he can keep himself from them...so what do you think of his idea for changing the keeper to Peter?"

"Hmm..."

"Come on, What do you think Lily?"

_Lily-prime tried to ignore the voice she thought she had heard and focused on the time-line she was viewing; it was the moment when she had decided to go along with Sirius' plan to switch the Secret Keepers, when they had signed their own death-warrents by putting their lives in the hands of a traitor..._

Lily crossed her arms and thought carefully as she looked at her husband from across the living room of the cramped house in Godric's Hollow they were living in. They were trying to reconsider the same argument that they had had several months ago when they had first gone into hiding, as Sirius had come up with an interesting idea.

The problem was simple, yet extremely vexing: Voldemort was planning on killing them all, James, Lily and Harry Potter, and to protect themselves they were behind a extremely powerful charm known as the _Fidelius _charm. This charm put the secret of their hiding place into the soul of one human being, and unless they told Voldemort and his minions, it was impossible for even a wizard with the skill of the Dark Lord to attack them. Their choice of secret keeper, or the person who had possession of the secret, had been Sirius Black.

Lily trusted Sirius with their lives completely, and he had a great deal of skill and power as a wizard, making him the obvious choice as their Secret Keeper. That didn't seem like a problem until one realized that if it was obvious to them then it was equally obvious to Voldemort and his Death Eaters...

While Lily would trust Sirius never to tell even under torture, if he were to be killed than anyone he had trusted with the secret would themselves become Secret Keepers, making it quite likely that their secret would quickly be revealed to those who were hunting Lily's family...

_Lily-prime remembered this particular bit of logic, and it really it made sense even now, and if they had trusted Remus instead of Peter then it probably would have worked brilliantly..._

_She then chuckled, muttering aloud, "Clearly my skills in determining who was trustworthy did NOT improve much with time..."_

However, Sirius had recently come up with an idea that sounded like it just might work: making Peter Pettigrew become the Secret Keeper while pretending to everyone else that Sirius was. Although his skills were far below that of the other Marauders, Lily could not deny that it would be something completely unexpected, and might buy them some time...

In spite of this, Lily felt it necessary to point out the obvious, admittedly in a rather untactful way, "James, don't you think that it would be rather like sacrificing Sirius for our sakes? I mean, if we were to make him the bait, then it's kinda the assumption that he would have to act like it...

As James looked down guiltily at the floor, Lily suddenly came up with an idea and she said with a grin, figuring that this would probably make them both feel far better than Sirius' idea would, "Hey, How about we tell everyone we're changing Secret Keepers, but keep Sirius as the real one instead? That way we can at least take some of the heat off of him, and it wouldn't put anyone else in danger!"

James' face brightened immediately, then he said while stroking his chin with a mischievous smirk, "And I know just how to leak it... Trust me on this, leaking a secret to the masses can be pretty tricky to pull off believably, I would know..."

_'That's a pretty clever idea, and James would certainly know how to make everyone believe it... After all, it certainly worked with the aftermath of Sirius' so-called 'prank'...'_

* * *

_Time passed, and Autumn passed into Winter, while the world slowly fell apart. Unlike in the other time-lines that Lily had viewed, it didn't appear that anything could stop Voldemort, as he had obtained a level of sheer might that even the Ministry couldn't match with all of their Aurors and Hit Wizards... Every day, it seemed like another person died to Voldemort's bloody purges, and people flocked to his banner..._

_Finally, Lily saw a scene that made her shudder, a Death Eater revel. Realizing that she was probably going to see Severus' point of view once more, she shuddered and braced herself, as she didn't want to have to see Severus as a true Death Eater..._

"Yea-HA! That's the stuff! Take it, TAKE IT ALL you stupid WHORE!!"

"Oh, come on Avery, do you have to be so loud when you do those Mudblood bints? Wait...I've got an idea, _CRUCIO!"_

"Someone, please help me! PLE-AHHH!" Severus had to force himself not to shudder as he listened to the...less tame portions of the revels, such as screaming Muggleborns...

Severus had previously made it his top priority to arrive AFTER his 'comrades' were done with their...play, as the Dark Lord preferred to wait until his followers had relaxed to give them instructions when it wasn't urgent. 'And what could be better than a little rape and torture to relax the good old boys... It's hard to believe I used to think that these were the good guys and my way out of being poverty-stricken scum...'

Unfortunately, spying on them on behalf of Dumbledore had forced him to start arriving beforehand, so that he could identify more Death Eaters and their victims that night...

_Lily-prime's eyes blinked once, twice, then widened in surprise at Severus' last thoughts. Grinning in sheer joy, she then did something she hadn't done in years and shouted gleefully as she pumped her arms in the air, "Sev, you little sneak! I KNEW that you could do it! I didn't know you did, mind you, but..." _

_Suddenly realizing that she was only talking to herself, Lily stopped, red-faced... 'That's probably one of the first signs of insanity, talking to myself...'_

Nonetheless, Severus still felt less conflicted than he had since he was a little boy, as he was no longer living his life in denial. He could finally accept that although he had been in a very rough situation, he had been ignoring the casual cruelties of his friends, and that doing that had been the third-biggest mistake of his likely-short life; the two biggest mistakes obviously had been when he had called his best friend a 'Mudblood' and when he had given Voldemort that thrice-cursed prophecy, although he couldn't have known how either one would have turned out...

'No, that's not quite accurate... My biggest mistake was not correcting my mistake of calling her a 'Mudblood', not really; if I had buckled down and just given up on the Death Eaters then, then Lily probably would have forgiven me, but I didn't want to give up my dreams and ambitions of heroism, brilliance and power for a mere POSSIBILITY of forgiveness... Besides...' He held back a chuckle, '...I wanted Lily to beg MY forgiveness, after she threw me away...I was quite foolish indeed to give up that easily...

Severus then sighed slightly, wincing as he heard another scream when another Death Eater joined in on Avery's 'fun'. 'At least I've managed to correct THIS mistake...I hope... Dumbledore is a truly mighty wizard, and the only one Voldemort is afraid of, so he should be able to protect Lily and her family... At least, I really hope he can; he's had over a year since I've told him after all...'

_Lily-prime's smile grew until it became a mad grin as she positively giggled in happiness; apparently, Severus had changed sides in her time-line as well, if he had told Dumbledore about the prophecy so long ago..._

_'Sev...Thank you...' Lily whispered her gratitude to her friend, who she apparently owed much more than a mere debt of friendship in the past, as he had clearly been the one who gave them a chance to survive in the first place...although she still wondered why he had turned the prophecy over to Voldemort to begin with, and that thought troubled her..._

Severus' musings were cut off by the sudden crack of apparition no more than a hundred feet from him, where a rather short and fat man appeared, holding a bundle in his arms. Severus looked at him for a moment, and was about to dismiss him, when he recognized the bundle to be a baby.

The man then burst out in a joyous shout, recognizable to Severus as the voice of one of his childhood tormentors, Peter Pettigrew, "I've DONE IT! I've captured the Potter boy! I've brought the Dark Lord the child he has been seeking! Come on, let me through, let me through!" The last part of his shout was necessary as a number of Death Eaters had crowded around him, clearly intrigued as to what he was talking about...

As his 'comrades' looked at Pettigrew in confusion, Severus was instantly put into a quandrary, as he wasn't quite sure what to do... Dumbledore had told him that he was to remain as a spy, concealing himself at all costs, even though part of him had very much wanted to tell Lily that he had joined her side and hug her once more... However, he also knew that either the Potter boy or the Longbottom boy would be the one who would be capable of killing the Dark Lord, and that protecting them was the highest of priorities...

Knowing he didn't have much time, as Pettigrew would be inside the anti-Apparition wards soon, Severus thought quickly, 'I have only one chance to save the brat, but is it worth taking?' After considering the situation for a moment, Severus mentally shrugged; while both decisions would be defendable to Dumbledore in the long run, Severus had his own priorities too. If he saved the boy, then it would make one hell of a Christmas present for Lily, and if he didn't then he doubted that anything would make her forgive him...

_Lily-prime could already see the difference in this Severus in comparision to the ones that she had seen and known; he was even more cold and calculating, and obviously tried to suppress his emotions even more than any of the Severuses she had 'met'..._

Moving fast, yet trying his best to blend into the crowd, Severus quickly caught up to Pettigrew. He then grabbed him by the shoulder and Apparated him to a rather secluded spot he knew of, ironically the strand of trees by the creek where he had once played with Lily. It seemed like a fitting choice, as he would be protecting something which had been part of Lily's body in a place that had been part of their past...

Utterly bewildered, Pettigrew made to draw his wand and shouted, "Who the hell are you!? What do you think you are do-"

Severus interrupted him with a quick, nonverbal _Sectumsempra_ to the throat, then kicked him as he ripped the child out of the ex-Marauder's arms. Keeping his wand pointed at his opponent, Severus took a moment and waited to see what he would do, ready to counter anything which the so-called 'Wormtail' could aim at him...

_Lily-prime honestly could barely keep herself from cheering like one of those cheerleader girls from the Muggle schools; even after no less than six time-lines viewed, plus her own, there was nothing that she could say that she would enjoy more than the sight of that traitor Pettigrew getting his pimply bum kicked like a football..._

Pointing at his neck with his wand as soon as he drew it, Pettigrew tried to choke out a healing spell, but it was to no avail because of the Dark Magic which _Sectumsempra_used...and the fact that Severus fired a quick Killing Curse at the pathetic excuse for a man certainly didn't help Pettigrew's chances at survival...

As Pettigrew crumpled and fell to the ground, Severus said simply, answering the last question his adversary had asked while he had been among the living, "Something that needed to be done, Pettigrew..."

_"GO SEV! Now THAT'S how you deal with that bloody traitor! YES, KILL THE WANKER!"_ _Realizing that she had started shouting again aloud, Lily-prime blushed before returning her view to the time-line..._

He then disapparated, leaving Pettigrew's body behind, his blood already starting to mingle with the grass beneath it...

* * *

_Lily-prime watched with a giant grin on her face as her counterpart's friendship with Severus was restored almost immediately afterward, when he came striding into the headmaster's office where she and James had gone to request aid, Harry in his arms. In fact, her counterpart seemed to dissolve into mush, hugging Severus and Harry constantly while muttering "Thank you, thank you, thank you..." into his ears. Severus was in a state of total shock..._

_It was probably fortunate that Neville Longbottom and Harry Potter were the Dark Lord's primary targets, as being a traitor to the Death Eaters was normally considered a sentence of a very long, painful death. Luckily, until the Dark Lord met his end at the hands of Neville Longbottom, Severus was safely cloistered within the walls of Hogwarts..._

_Time passed, and soon another scene greeted Lily's eyes..._

"Mmmm, smells good, lil' Lily. What're you makin'?"

"Sirius...it's Skele-Gro, I doubt that you'd be particularly interested in having THAT for dinner."

As both adults broke into laughter, Sirius said in a joking tone of voice while leaning lazily against the kitchen counter, "True, but Harry and I, we're starving! Isn't that right, Prongslet?"

As prompted, Harry rubbed his five-year old tummy and nodded his head rapidly while pouting slightly, before saying with large, glistening eyes, "Uh-huh, starving mum, starving! Can't we have dinner, please...?"

_Lily-prime could hardly help but smile at Harry's antics as he tried to beg food from his mother; he was so cute with his messed-up hair and green eyes. Even if James had made quite a few errors in life, his son was certainly not one of them..._

Lily barely managed to fight back another chuckle, but crouched down a little so she could say, smiling at her son, "Don't worry, Harry, your dad is picking up dinner for all of us on the way back from the Ministry. Sirius is going to be rather unlucky though; he gets only Skele-Gro..."

"HEY...!"

"Why's that, mummy? Was Sirius bad?"

Nodding as she forced herself to portray a rather stern face, Lily said mock-coldly while putting her hands on her hips, "Yes he was; he compared mummy's cooking to Skele-Gro, and that's something really, really yucky."

Sirius dissolved into laughter for nearly a minute as Harry looked at him reproachfully, scolding his godfather with his green eyes, before the older man finally managed to say with a straight face, "OK, Prongslet, go and run along now. Your mother and I need to discuss my erm...punishment, so you go and play with your broom, got it?"

_It was this that reminded Lily-prime why she and Sirius had been good friends; even though he was reckless and sometimes foolish, he could be very funny and clearly cared greatly about his friends..._

Harry grinned, then nodded eagerly before running outside with a cheerful cry. As both of the adults chuckled, Sirius glanced in the cauldron with a frown, before saying, "Say, Lily, isn't Skele-Gro supposed to be a grey color? Why is your potion silver?"

Lily smirked, saying with an approving nod,

"I'm glad to see that you still remember your Potions, but I've been collaborating with Sev on a less-painful version, and this is my latest iteration of it. The problem is that while normal opiates do well in reducing the pain, they typically bind poorly with the other ingrediants and make the potion itself less potant, so Sev and I are trying something a bit different. Instead of adding a simple opiate, we're adding a numbing venom and another ingrediant to bind with..."

_'Ten galleons says that Sirius has no idea what I'm talking about; he's smart, but he was never at the level of either Severus or myself in Potions...'_

Sirius blanched, then waved his hands as he said frantically, "OK, remind me never to ask you how your potions-work is going again. Also..." He then all but spat out the next bit, "...What do you mean by 'Sev'!? I know he saved Harry, and I suppose that it MIGHT entitle him to a first-name basis, but he's still a giant prat who you'd be better off forgetting! Don't you remember how he made you cry when he abandoned you to go running off with the Death Eaters!?"

Lily's face hardened, then she said coldly, "Sirius Black, ignoring how ungrateful doing that would make me, he is one of my two best friends and you're just going to have to live with that. I know that you and James are still angry with him for how he continued attacking you guys after you two stopped, but you really should get over it in my opinion..."

_Lily-prime frowned as she looked at Sirius' face, then she sighed before saying aloud, "You know, Sirius, it would really encourage me to consider forgiving you if your counterpart wasn't looking so pleased right about now..."_

She then said more softly, remembering a conversation with Dumbledore about Severus' motives after Voldemort's death, "...Besides, I think that I might have been partially to blame about his going off with those monsters. He did change sides long before You-Know-Who's death, you know..."

Sirius growled, then muttered, "He would have likely gone over anyway, considering his love of the Dark Arts..."

"Maybe, but that doesn't excuse my abandoning him..."

_'Gotta agree with that now...'_

* * *

_More time passed, and Lily-prime watched with bated breath as Harry grew older, as this Harry seemed different from the other ones in her eyes. Perhaps it was because, like with Severus, this Harry seemed the most like her own Harry..._

_As seemed to be becoming a pattern in the time-lines she viewed where she married James, her counterpart had two more children, a girl and a boy in this case. _

_The youngest, a boy born only a year before Harry started attending Hogwarts, had been named Regulus after Sirius' dead brother when they found out why he had died. Her counterpart had been pushing for 'Severus', but the man that the child was originally going to be named after had vetoed it, saying that one child cursed with his name was more than enough. Severus had later admitted though that when he had said that, he hadn't been expecting it to be replaced by 'Regulus'. _

_It was ironic that, after Harry, the child who had taken most after James was their daughter. She had been born about three years after Harry, and was cursed with the name of Anna-Maria, when James had been utterly determined to name a child after one of his parents and her counterpart in this time-line had relented. Lily-prime wished the girl well..._

_Finally, Harry started attending Hogwarts..._

"HARRY JAMES POTTER...do you have any IDEA of how much TROUBLE that you are in!?"

Harry gulped, looking around the infirmary frantically for something that might save him from the demon that fastened had her green eyes on him. As he searched, he cursed Professor Snape for bringing his mother into this; it had been painful enough already, but NOOO, his MOTHER had to come in to torment him again...

Finding nothing, Harry said sullenly, "If we hadn't gone then Quirrel-"

"I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR BLOODY DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS PROFESSOR!" Harry's mother shrieked in rage, "What made you decide to go after him yourself is what I want to know! If it hadn't been for Professor McGonagall's mentioning to Severus about your suspicions, then you, Neville and Hermione would have probably DIED next to that BLOODY chess set! Please explain what you could have possibly been thinking!"

_'Err, Chess Set?' Lily-prime had to ask herself what the hell a chess set had to do with anything...then came up with nothing._

Harry glared at her and looked away as she continued berating him about not telling Snape rather than just trying to tell McGonagall and going with Neville and Hermione to stop Quirrel on their own; she couldn't possibly understand what it had been like when he had seen Professor Snape's wounded leg after the Halloween feast.

His dad had always warned him about the man, and Snape had been rather cold to him all year, so what was Harry supposed to think when he saw that? Whenever he had tried telling his mother about his fears about Professor Snape, she had ignored them and just told Harry to trust the man, as she was 'sure' that he would never hurt Harry purposefully...

_'Based on the time-lines that I have seen so far...I would say that this is a likely thing that I would have learned once I had started paying closer attention...'_

Finally having enough, Harry shouted, trying to hide the tears beginning to appear in his eyes,

"It's all HIS fault! Ever since I started school, Professor Snape has changed, mum! He no longer wants to talk to be outside of class, he no longer lets me call him 'Sev', he no longer even likes me anymore! Why should I have told him about this when he won't even be my friend anymore!? Look, he's too busy dealing with Hermione and Neville right now to even bother with me!"

Harry's mother seemed about to answer, but she stopped when a hand was placed on her shoulder, Professor Snape's hand. Looking at Harry for a moment with a sad expression that he hadn't seen on him in ages, Snape then turned and said to mum, "Lily, would you mind giving me a moment alone with Harry? Apparently, I didn't explain some things that I should have..."

Pausing, Harry's mother gave Professor Snape a quick look, then nodded and walked away. Feeling embarrassed because of his crying, Harry turned away from the man, but couldn't help but smile slightly when he felt a warm hand on his shoulder through the hospital bedsheets. Then the man spoke, with a slight touch of apology which most people would have missed,

_Lily-prime smiled slightly, remembering how she had once been the only person who would have recognized that; perhaps Severus had opened up to her son in this time-line..._

"Harry, I'm sorry that I gave you the impression that I didn't want you to be my little friend anymore. It wasn't something that I intended when I said not to speak with me like that outside of class. What I was trying to tell you is that in class or in public, I cannot be any more than your professor, nor can I treat you differently than any of my other students. I still like you, but I have to maintain my professionalism..."

Severus then paused, before saying simply, "I like to keep my private life seperate from my work life, such as how I don't bring the people I date into the school. However, I wouldn't mind it if you or your friends dropped by my office for tea sometime though..."

_Lily-prime frowned, not sure if she liked the idea of Severus going out on dates with other women than her counterparts... Suddenly, she laughed as she realized that she was becoming jealous of every girl who tried to date Severus, whatever the time-line... 'Just great, I abandon him in my time-line, yet I want him to remain faithful to me in every other time-line...'_

Harry thought about that a moment; he doubted that Neville would want to take him up on that offer, as Severus took a nearly-savage glee in making his class one of the hardest in the castle and very few could keep up to an extent that Severus only mocked them slightly, with Neville not being one of them. Still, Hermione seemed to actually rather enjoy spending time working on potions with the professor, so it couldn't hurt to try...

Finally, Harry said, voice muffled by his pillow, "Sure, I guess we can work something out like that..."

* * *

_More time passed, and Lily-prime noticed something that was rather unsettling, or rather something that wasn't there that was unsettling. This time-line seemed rather similar to the second one she had viewed, but with one key difference, Severus' eyes. When she looked into his eyes the yearning and desire that had seemed to always be in them when they looked at her counterpart had somehow vanished. _

_Mind you, the love and affection that Lily had begun to see in them was still there, but Lily-prime could no longer see any desire for her inside them. Thinking it over, she realized that he must have gotten over her, although it was obvious he still loved her..._

_Finally, Lily-prime saw a rather strange scene: the Great Hall of Hogwarts, but with a rather unusual collection of decorations..._

"I think that I'll take a break, thank you, Igor."

"It is all very well, Mrs. Potter."

Lily held in a shudder as she walked over to Severus' table; he might be the headmaster of a prestigious school like Durmstrang, but Igor Karkaroff gave her the creeps. He seemed fairly charming and smiled a lot, but she noticed that it never reached his eyes...

Glancing over at Severus, Lily suppressed a chuckle as she saw him frowning as he watched everyone like a hawk in spite of the fact that it was quite permissible for teachers to enjoy themselves during the Yule ball, which had been continued as a tradition along with the Triwizard tournament since Harry's fourth year.

Still, ever since he had been all-but-forced to take the position of Potions professor by Dumbledore, Severus had been noted as one of the strictest teachers in the school. Although she had only been teaching DADA for a few months, as a favor to Dumbledore for one year, Lily had to agree greatly with the students' opinion on his hard-nosedness

Although he was noticeably lighter on Slytherin, both Harry and Anna-Maria had informed Lily in confidance that he was still harder on them than any other teacher save McGonagall. Lily suspected that it had a great deal to do with his own past, as he had never gotten to 'enjoy' a prank much save as the victim, which would certainly sour anyone's opinion on even harmless mischief...

_Lily-prime could see this happening easily, as seven straight years of being bullied couldn't be good for one's opinion of pranksters..._

Still, there was being strict, and then there was being excessive. As such, Lily put herself in Severus' line of sight and said with a small grin, "Hey, Sev. Come on, let's dance! You're too young to be acting like an old man..."

Severus' frowned deepened a moment, but then it turned into a small smile and he said formally, getting up smoothly and offering her his hand as he did so, "Very well then, it would be my pleasure to have this dance with you, Mrs. Lily Potter _nee_ Evans."

Lily rolled her eyes and pulled him rapidly onto the dance floor, where a slow song was playing; unfortunately, it seemed that over the years, Severus had gotten a wee bit full of himself. Still, his arrogance was admittedly backed up by a fair bit of skill, even on the dance floor.

The awkwardness that Lily had once known Severus for had clearly vanished as he had gotten older, and he seemed as smooth as silk with every single step, not a one going out of rhythm. Pressed up against him with his arms around him, Lily felt it quite a shame that he had never been this way in his school years, as it would have done Severus' popularity at the time a world of good.

_'It really would have, and it's really quite a shame that he wasn't like that, although it didn't seem to stop Mary or my counterparts from snapping him up when they got the chance...'_

'Oh well, he seems to have become quite the ladies' man lately; it's a shame that he hasn't really clicked with any of them, although it really is quite understandable, given his type...'

Over the years, Lily had seen Severus date or complain about dating enough women that she knew his 'type' pretty much to a 't', or so she believed. Severus liked clever, intelligent women, especially those who had a major streak of empathy and a fair amount of spunk. Unfortunately, 'clever' and 'intelligent' in Severus' terms was on par with genius-level for the average human being. As such, people who could interest Severus for the long haul were few in number and hard to come by...

Lily was broken from her musings by Severus suddenly saying with a small chuckle as he smiled wistfully, "You know, Lily, when we were teens one of my favorite fantasies was dancing with you on a night like this. I had one of the biggest crushes imaginable on you at the time; it's definitely one of the reasons that I got along with James so poorly, that and the fact that he was a great, bullying prat at the time of course."

_Lily-prime wondered if her counterpart had ever found out about the year six and seven bullying..._

As they slowly revolved around the dance floor, Lily leaned on his shoulder and said with a wistful smile of her own,

"He really was quite the jerk then, wasn't he? It is rather a shame that you never told me how you felt though; I felt like such a tool when I finally figured it all out. I had no idea how much my attraction to James must have hurt you, and watching me half-flirt with him from fifth-year onward must have been one of the most painful things you could have imagined..."

Severus looked away for a moment, then said both quietly and with a fair amount of bitterness, clearly not wanting anyone else to eavesdrop on their conversation,

"It was because I knew that you would probably never be all that interested in hearing the feelings of a low-class boy from the slums of Spinner's End. Why would you have been interested in me when you had all those rich and popular kids surrounding you, like James Potter and Sirius Black?"

_'Hmm, does he think that my counterpart knew about the bullying in those last two years and just didn't mention it? That would explain why Severus appears so hurt right about now, if he thought that...' _

_Lily-prime's eyes widened as she considered something both new and shocking; what if Severus had thought that she knew about the bullying all along, and just didn't care about it?_

Lily looked at him, watching his face as the bitterness seemed to transfigure it for a moment, then she said sadly,

"Severus, you were my best friend; even if you had been right and I would have rejected your feelings, I would have at least had the decency not to rub it in your face. No matter how painful it might have been to be rejected if you were, I'm pretty sure that it couldn't have been half as painful when I was flirting with James in front of you in seventh year..."

As Severus looked down at his feet with a grimace, clearly not enjoying that particular recollection, Lily continued simply,

"Moreover, I would never have rejected you or your feelings because of where you were born and how you were dressed. I just hated how the best friend I had always known had seemed to be more and more overtaken by another boy, one who was hanging out with scum like that rapist Avery and who wanted to be a Death Eater. If you hadn't changed so much, then who knows? Maybe it would be a Mr. Harry Snape here dancing with that Ginny girl."

Severus then smirked as he said with a short laugh, slowly pulling her back to their table as he did so, "I doubt very much that it would have been a 'Harry' Snape, as I always figured that our first child would be a daughter..."

Lily chuckled for a few seconds while they sat back down, then Severus said in a somewhat graver tone of voice, "It's a shame that I was so pig-headed about your opinions on them at the time, as I honestly thought that you would be impressed when I joined the Death Eaters, as I would finally have made something of himself and become someone that you would be proud of..." At Lily's snort, Severus said defensively, "Hey! It seemed like a good idea at the time..."

_'It probably did...although I probably could have made it a bit more obvious that it was a stupid thought on his part...'_

As they lapsed into companionable silence, Lily took a moment to give Severus a once-over before sighing; although she was pretty sure now that both of them were reasonably satisfied with their lives, and she did love James very much indeed, it was such a shame that she had never known. At the least, it would have saved Severus and herself a lot of pain...

'Well, perhaps I can make up for it by helping him find someone who truly deserves him. Still, I'm glad for his sake that he's gotten over me, as I wouldn't want him to spend his life wondering about it...'

Suddenly, Harry's little friend, Hermione stopped over by their table. Panting slightly as she rubbed her toes while sitting on the other side of Severus from her, Lily heard her mutter something about "Boys...never should have agreed to dance with a prat like Weasley... Ugh, I'm going to be feeling that one in the morning...!".

_Lily-prime wondered if in this time-line Hermione might have been attracted to Ron Weasley, then she shrugged slightly. He didn't sound like the sort of person who would attract her from what little Lily-prime knew about him and her..._

Lily suppressed a tiny giggle, before musing to herself, 'It really is ironic how much she reminds me of Severus; she'd probably be perfect for him if she were a few years older... It's a shame really...'

* * *

_Time passed, but not too quickly; it seemed only a year since the last scene, but Lily-prime couldn't quite recognize the location, although it was obviously in the Hogwarts dungeons..._

-Knock- -Knock-

"Please come in, Miss Granger."

"Yes, sir." Even though she said it with her usual tone of great respect, Hermione had a difficult time stopping herself from slamming Severus' office door behind her as she burst into tears. It wasn't out of any disrespect toward him, but...

Hermione sighed slightly as she walked over to her professor's desk and sat down in the chair conveniently placed in front of it. As usual on a Saturday, the tea was already there and poured, ready for their weekly tea together. Unfortunately, Harry had stopped coming in his third year, about the same time that he had started making friends with Ron Weasley. It was quite a shame really, as Severus was really an excellent conversationalist outside of class.

_Lily-prime did have to agree on that, at least when it came to issues not involving the Marauders or his friends; on those issues he had demonstrated a great deal of stubbornness, although it was well-warrented when it came to the Marauders in hindsight..._

Hermione blew three times onto her tea before taking her first sip, as per her usual routine, and Professor Snape continued marking the last few of his stack of essays as was routine for him. It was all part of the same ritual that they had crafted over the last five years, and Hermione took the time to gather her thoughts as she relaxed, comforted by the polished sense of routine...

Still, the words of her friends still rang in her ears, shouts of "Coward!" and "Not worthy of being a Gryffindor!". As such, Hermione started speaking quickly once Severus put the pile of essays neatly into his desk before calmly pinning her with his gaze, "Professor, do you think that I am a coward?"

He looked at her strangely for a moment, then asked curiously, "What would give you that impression, Miss Granger?"

Hermione bit her lip for a moment, then spoke in a rush, "Well, you know how Dumbledore has been having the Tri-wizard tournament here at Hogwarts for the past several years right? Well, my birthday is in September, making me of age..."

Hermione paused there once more, before admitting, "...You see, my friends think that I should sign up, but I'm not sure if I'm really interested, and it seemed quite dangerous the last time around. I told them 'no', and now everyone's calling me 'the cowardly lion', saying that I shouldn't even be a Gryffindor if I'm going to be such a pussy. So do you think that I'm a coward, Sir?"

_Lily-prime found it interesting how comfortable the two of them appeared to be with each other, in spite of the fact that both had yet to use the other's first name. She then wondered sadly when she and Severus had lost that closeness, as she had considered him her best friend in the world when she had first started attending Hogwarts, yet their friendship seemed to fall apart so suddenly in its last couple of years... _

Severus looked at her appraisingly for several seconds, causing Hermione to flush slightly, then he said coldly,

"Miss Granger, I do not view you as a coward, although most of your Gryffindor 'friends' might disagree. From what I have seen of your so-called friends, they have a tendency to be incredibly foolish and idiotic, so feel free to ignore their blatant stupidity whenever it should present itself. Personally, I believe that it's because Gryffindor as a whole has a tendency to replace 'bravery' with 'recklessness', much like a 'man' that I rather dislike..."

Hermione wanted to stand up for her friends right about then, but she allowed the insult to pass when she remembered when Harry had laughed at her with the rest of them, and it felt rather nice to hear them being mocked. Still, she wasn't sure she agreed with Severus about his opinion on her bravery or lack thereof, so she asked,

"And what is 'bravery' to a Slytherin like you, professor? Although you have been very brave to all recollections, especially with how you stopped Quirrel my first year even when he was possessed by You-Know-Who, your house tends not to have much of a reputation for it..."

_Lily-prime wondered idly if this girl had half the idea of just how brave Severus was capable of being, as changing sides to spy on the Death Eaters took far more courage than anyone had the right to ask for, yet he had done it anyway..._

Severus then gave her a 'look' that made her stop talking immediately, before he said with a touch of impatience, black eyes burrowing into her own brown ones,

"Miss Granger, although that act is one that I have gotten the most rewards for, I would hardly call that 'bravery'. Even though he was backed up by some shade of the Dark Lord, Quirrel was still hardly a match for me. No, bravery is when you know that something could cost you dearly, but you decide to do it anyway because you think it is worth doing! It is when you decide that the dangers are worth the risk and you accept them...!"

Hermione listened intently, as Severus was one of the bravest and cleverest people she knew, even if most of Gryffindor tended to disagree. He had fought bravely against Voldemort from within his own ranks and saved Harry's life as well as her own, so she respected him greatly and was proud to consider him her mentor.

_Lily-prime had to chuckle as she listened to Hermione Granger's mental dialogue; she seemed to admire him far more than anyone that Lily-prime had ever met before. 'It's no surprise, really; this time-line seems to have shown why he is truly a good, brave and decent person underneath it all, and has made it visible to everyone...'_

Speaking more softly while putting one hand on her shoulder, Severus then continued, "I have seen you take some very brave actions in your time here at Hogwarts, Miss Granger, so I seriously doubt that your decision NOT to enter in the Tri-wizard tournament would be out of anything remotely resembling cowardice!"

Hermione nodded slowly, digesting what she had heard. However, Severus clearly hadn't finished as he said quietly, no longer looking at her but seeming to stare at a scene from another time or place, "Trust me when I say that I would recognize a cowardly act, as I committed a fair number of them in my youth. I let my fear get the best of me and never told her how I felt..."

She didn't know why she did it then, but Hermione scooted forward slightly and gave him a peck on the cheek, causing Severus to shake his head ruefully and smile slightly before saying in a more reserved tone of voice,

"Now then, I believe that it is time for your lesson, Miss Granger. I want you to examine the antidotes that my fourth-year Slytherins have created and tell me what they did wrong with them, as well as what you would do if you were to correct them, if anything."

Hermione sighed quietly, but immediately started her inspections. When she had asked Severus if she might be able to become a Potions Mistress earlier that year, he had said that she lacked an understanding of WHY each potion worked, merely knowing how to brew them. This was unacceptable in his eyes, as it prevented her from improving a recipe, as she didn't understand what was causing it to work in the first place.

_Lily-prime had to agree with Severus' diagnosis, as failing to understand why a potion worked made it impossible to brew it better than what the book said, limiting the brewer to what the book's writer was capable of..._

As such, he had started giving her exercises like this in order to improve her general understanding of Potions, as it was far more difficult to effectively rebuild the potion than it was to create one in the first place. That was especially true when she didn't have the benefit of being able to see what mistakes they had made in the first place, which was one of the reasons that she had been able to help Neville so easily in Severus' classes.

Hermione then chuckled slightly as she examined her first vial of supposedly completed potions, smiling at Severus' look of mild confusion, 'Or maybe he's just interested in having someone to grade their classwork without his having to do so. Oh well, he certainly needs to take better care of himself regardless, so that couldn't hurt if it were the case either...'

* * *

_Even more time went by, and soon her counterpart's skills at brewing had become rather famous, bringing her customers from all over Europe and the Americas. Lily-prime had to smile at the look of moody embarrassment on James' face whenever someone would point at him and shout "Look! There's Lily Potter's husband, Jake!"._

_Soon the mirror reformed into a image that wasn't all that unfamiliar, her counterpart sitting in the living room with Severus sitting opposite her, both playing a game of chess..._

"Knight to E4. So Lily, how have things been going with you and James lately?"

Knowing that Severus was merely trying to distract her from whatever traps he might have prepared over the last couple of moves, Lily felt free to respond in kind, saying teasingly, "Pawn to F5, and Sev, do you mean how things are going, or how THINGS are going?" To make sure he couldn't misunderstand her, Lily included a waggle of the eyebrows as she said the last part.

As expected, Severus looked like someone had tried to force-feed him Polyjuice with his nose curled like that and his face in a grimace. Lily hid a smirk, as Severus still had similar reactions to her and James' sex life as she would have had to that of her own parents, even though he had definitely gotten over his feelings for her. Clearly mortified at the thought, Severus replied with a shudder,

"Lily, as your best friend, I must insist that you never darken my mind with the thought of a naked James Potter ever again. Ugh...now that's disturbing. Oh, and Knight takes F2..."

_Although Lily-prime was glad to see that Severus seemed to be rather happy, she found that she strangely wished that he hadn't gotten over her. "Really, I should just be happy for him; he clearly is for me..."_

Lily giggled mischievously, then settled to thinking for a moment, 'OK, if I take the Knight with my Knight, then he will retake it with his Bishop; I will then retake with my Queen, leaving us tied still... I wish that he would stop talking about how he caught Harry and Ron in the shower together so that I can concen...WHAT!?'

Suddenly realizing what Severus had just said, Lily's mouth fell open, ready and waiting for a few flies to set up shop in the nice wide open spaces that had just become available. A few seconds went by, then Lily spluttered, "But I thought...Ginny! Ron and Hermione! Wha...!?"

Severus, lips twitching in what passed for mirth in the mind of Severus Snape, calmly said, "It is nice to see that you were paying attention, Lily. However, although there is a distinct possibility that I was merely attempting to deceive you, I am afraid that the youngest Mr. Weasley and Hermione have broken up for nearly a month now and Ronald is now together with Susan Bones... Nonetheless, as interesting as this gossip may be, I am afraid that this is still a timed match..."

_'Why do I think that he's in the process of highway robbery?' After so many times which Severus had played a key role in, Lily had grown to be able to recognize when Severus was being sneaky..._

Sighing in relief, Lily said as she hit Severus on the shoulder, fighting a smile while doing so, "Knight takes F2, and that was NOT funny!"

"Bishop takes F2, and I do believe that it was very funny, Lily Marigold Evans Potter."

"It was not! And ugh, do NOT call me by THAT name, Sev! Queen takes F2!"

Hermione, who had apparently been standing there for a while, then chimed in with an almost Severus-quality smirk, "Personally, I thought that it was very funny, Mrs. Potter. And it would explain why Ron couldn't get it up with me that one time... Why, I thought for a moment there that he had replaced it with a flobberworm on a bet..."

Severus, shuddering anew, then said heatedly, "Alright, no more mention of Ronald Weasley or his...performances..." Pausing, he then raked Hermione with his gaze for a moment before saying with a slightly lecherous grin, unnoticable if you didn't know him as well as Lily did, "Even so, I find it hard to imagine his inability to 'perform' for you, Hermione... Quite unbelievable if I do say so myself..."

_'If he isn't interested in her, then I'm a Hufflepuff...' Lily-prime mused with a half-smile, half-frown combination..._

As Hermione blushed, unable to keep herself from smiling as the two of them locked eyes, Lily rolled her eyes and snapped in mild annoyance, "Can we get back to the GAME, Severus!? What are you going to do now?"

Shaking his head for a moment, Severus returned his gaze to the board, then paused before saying with a rather malicious smile, "Very well then, Lily Knight to E3, Check, and I do believe that's game."

Frowning, Lily looked at the board, only to realize that she had just allowed Severus to pin her queen to her king with check... 'Bugger...'

Feeling rather miffed, Lily tipped over her queen and said with a scowl, "I guess I lose... Good game, Sev." Lily had an inherent tendency to be a rather poor sport when she lost, but she managed to shake his hand when he offered it nonetheless, forcing a sickly smile in response to his proud one as she glared at him.

_"Yup, I called it. That was a definite case of highway robbery." Lily-prime said aloud, before realizing that she was talking to herself once more..._

"Oh, Severus," Hermione said suddenly, smoothing down her skirt as she looked around the room while her face turned slightly pink, eyes looking everywhere but at Severus, "I was wondering if you received my apprentice application yet. I only sent it a few hours ago, but I wanted to make sure that it wasn't late or anything..."

Severus sighed heavily, then turned to face her, before saying with an exasperated roll of the eyes, "Hermione, your owl hasn't even ARRIVED yet. Remember, you live far enough away that it usually takes a day or two before your owl reaches my house OR Lily's!"

Severus then paused before saying more softly, walking over to Hermione and placing a hand on her shoulder as he did so, "Regardless, trust me when I say that you have nothing to fear; if you offer, I will of course accept. I've gotten rather used to you correcting the first through third years anyway..."

For some reason, Hermione then muttered, "I knew it...!"

_

* * *

_

_Soon afterward, Voldemort returned to life thanks to the efforts of his 'most faithful servant', Bartemius Crouch Jr. However, Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge was persuaded to wage open war immediately thanks to the testimonies of Neville Longbottom, Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape, causing his return to power to be very short-lived indeed._

_Finally, the scene changed to one of her counterpart and her counterpart's husband snuggling together in bed..._

"Mmm, James...that was incredible..."

"Heh, I always was the best..."

In response to his posturing, Lily swatted him lightly on his still-muscular arm, chuckling as she said, "Arrogant prat..."

"Wasn't I always?"

"Shut up, dearest..." At Lily's mild tease, James couldn't help but chuckle, then he wondered aloud,

"Hey, do you think that Harry is doing this with Ginny too? I mean, he said that he and his fiancee were going to stay chaste until they were married, but I just don't know..."

_Lily-prime frowned slightly, wondering who this Ginny girl was, as she hadn't really seemed to catch her son's eye in any of the time-lines so far..._

Lily giggled at that, then said with a smirk, just visible from James' point of view, "I'm pretty sure that they were about as honest about that as we were when my parents asked that question, Mr. 'I have no idea what your daughter looks like unclothed sir, honest!'. Still, at least they are better at hiding it than Severus and Hermione are at hiding their sex life."

James raised his eyebrows in curiosity, then said with a touch of trepidation, wild thoughts of threesomes between Severus and the two women twisting crazily in his head, "Do I want to know how you know about this, Lily?"

Her smirk widened, then Lily said mischievously, scooting up to whisper in his ear, "Let's just say that I'm pretty sure that Hermione's knickers didn't get behind the desk in the Potions classroom by accident..."

James pictured that a moment, then said, imitating Sirius to the best of his ability, "Ooh, kinky!"

_Lily-prime pictured it for a moment, then halted that train of thought before it made her ill... She just didn't really want to think about Severus being with anyone else..._

Lily laughed uproariously at that, making James feel rather pleased with himself, as if his performance weren't good enough. However, she then said more soberly, looking rather pensive from James' position, "Speaking of Sirius, I was thinking of seeing if he and Severus might be able to try working out some kind of cease-fire at Harry's wedding, if the two of us work together setting things up that is..."

James stiffened, although he was sure that Lily didn't notice, then he nodded slowly as he agreed to her ideas once more; it had become all but an obsession with her, as she had always been a peacemaker for the most part, and didn't understand why the two of them just couldn't get along.

James had agreed with her until Severus, who he had grown to respect and tolerate even if neither would ever be the best of buds, had shouted angrily, _"James Potter, it was hard enough to forgive YOU for what you did me during our school years, but I draw the line at Black! I will NEVER forgive Black for trying to turn me into a werewolf's CHEW-TOY, ESPECIALLY when he REFUSED to apologize about it or even admit that he had done anything WRONG!"_

James sighed again as Lily chatted along, making schemes for having the two men work together for Harry and Ginny's wedding, knowing that she was engaging in a futile endeavor. As the years had rolled by, James had slowly come to realize that even though Sirius said that he had only meant it as a prank, and perhaps believed it himself...he was lying.

Even if Sirius told himself that he hadn't meant it the way it had happened, James knew that he certainly wouldn't have minded it happening, and it was almost definitely what he had wanted to happen subconsciously... All of James' instincts which had been finely honed over more than two decades of being a police officer told him that was the case, even though James didn't want to admit it to himself, and had been in denial about it during his teen years.

No matter how James looked at it in retrospect, Sirius' 'prank' only made sense if he had been expecting Severus to die and get eaten, as that would remove all the evidence and let Sirius get away scot-free; after all, other than James, the only person who had known about what he told Severus had been Severus himself... Just about any other possibility would have resulted in expulsions, none of them being Severus', and it would have ended like that if Dumbledore hadn't decided to be exceptionally lenient...

_Lily-prime sighed, having to agree that James was right on this, as James WAS the one who had become an Auror..._

Still, James smiled and nodded, letting Lily believe what she wanted to believe like he always did when it involved this topic...

'It's rather funny, I decided back when we were all in Hogwarts that 'all's fair in love and war', and I ended up winning Lily beyond a shadow of a doubt...so why does it feel like it never truly ends? The lies and half-truths keep piling up as the years go by, with no end in sight... Even though Severus is no longer even a remote threat to our marriage, it seems like I'm still sinking in a quicksand of my own making...'

James remembered when Harry had told him about his engagement with Ginny and he had asked him why, only for his son to reply, _"It's like...everytime I'm near her, I feel like I'm lucky for it, just standing by Ginny. I can and HAVE told her everything, all my hopes, dreams, mistake and fears, and I know and knew that she would accept them. You know, like you have with mom!" _That day, Severus had given him a look of pity, and James could only hang his head in shame...

Harry and Ginny, Severus and Hermione, all of them looked so happy just to be with one another. Even though both couples showed their love in different ways, with Ginny showing it by preparing Harry's favorite dinner after a long day's work and Severus by having made a shampoo for Hermione that put Sleakeazy's to shame so that she could go every day with the kind of hair that she always dreamed of, their love, trust and affection for one another clearly knew no bounds...

James felt the same way about Lily, and knew that she felt the same way about him, but it wasn't quite the same; Hermione's trust for Severus was based on knowing the worst of him and still loving him, whereas Lily's was based on what she THOUGHT she knew about him, and James could tell the difference everytime that he felt that little jab from his conscience...

Sometimes James wondered what it was like to be completely honest with the woman he loved... He just wished that he could...

_Lily-prime wanted to be furious at James for having apparently planned on keeping the past a secret for what was clearly in excess of two decades, but she could really only feel pity for the man. He had clearly gotten what he had always dreamed of but at the cost of part of what the dream was supposed to be built on... Although he clearly loved his life, he could see what he had lost in obtaining it, and he regretted it..._

* * *

_Lily-prime frowned as the time-line faded away, trying to bring everything she had learned into perspective. It had been quite a shock to learn that Severus had changed sides prior to her death, because Voldemort had decided to target her and her family; on one level, she wished that Severus had ended up changing sides because it was the right thing to do, but it was really quite minor in the bigger picture... _

_After all, better he join the right side for not-so-right reasons than stay on the wrong sides for reasons he believed were right... Besides, according to the other time-lines Lily-prime had viewed, Severus had grown to regret joining the Death Eaters in the end anyway..._

_What had been far more disturbing had been how James and the Marauders had continued keeping the truth from her counterpart for years, even decades, as if her knowing the truth had been completely unimportant to her... THAT had been very disturbing indeed, and yet it was something that Lily-prime could see happening all too easily... Even in the brief few years she had spent with James, she had noticed that difficult issues were something that he preferred to avoid, instead trying to push them away to be dealt with in the distant future if ever..._

_Turning her mind to other topics, Lily-prime began to consider what this time-line meant for her own 'future...Although she was surprised that Peter had actually tried and managed to kidnap Harry, the rest of the time-line seemed like something that would likely have happened even if Peter hadn't been involved. _

_Unless she had never been informed about Severus' being a spy, she probably would have forgiven him quickly and tried to become friends with him again, probably begging him his forgiveness for her lack thereof when he had asked her for it... _

_After all, even though Severus had given Voldemort the prophecy, he had done everything in his power to fix his mistake once he had realized what he had done...although Lily-prime had to admit that she was more than a little disappointed that he had revealed it to such a man in the first place, even had he not known who it had applied to... __Still, like many of Severus' other mistakes, Lily-prime doubted that it had been an act of intentional malice...as from what she had seen it just didn't seem to fit him to intentionally ruin someone, even if he could be somewhat cruel and petty at times..._

_Still, Lily-prime intended to have a few words with Severus about it if she got the chance, but she was far more intrigued by how Severus had done all of this for a girl who had given up on him so long ago... Even had she not known about her own mistakes in the past, she still wouldn't have blamed him much had he chosen to do nothing and just let her die, as he certainly didn't owe her anything..._

_Musing, Lily-prime wondered aloud, "How is it that I allowed myself to become so blind to his feelings about me that I missed the fact that he loved me so much that he would change sides on my behalf even years after the end of our friendship?"_

_"It's because you still don't understand why your friendship was so flawed... You really are quite foolish, you know; I was sure that you would have figured out the 'why' part a long time ago, but you're still so focused on the 'what happened' part that you don't understand 'why' it failed..."_

_Whirling around, Lily-prime saw...a woman who looked almost completely identical to herself, save for the whiteish robes with a sixty on them and the green-gemstoned pendant around her neck... _

_Lily-prime was still stunned, but the other Lily said with a roll of the eyes, "Still, if you can't figure it out after MY time-line, then I will have to ask you to please kill yourself and save us from your stupidity... Still, you seem to have some good qualities, so I doubt that you could POSSIBLY misunderstand why your friendship came crashing to its end after seeing what happened in mine...'_

_Unsure of what to say to that, Lily-prime asked pensively, "What happened in your time-line that makes it so obvious?"_

_Lily-prime saw a fleeting look of what appeared to be self-hatred cross the woman's face, before she said, "Let's just say that I've made mistakes that make your own mistakes look like molehills next to my mountains..." She then chuckled dryly before saying, "Did you know that he once called that infamous scene by the lake that seems to play a part in so many of your time-lines his 'worst memory'? Well, let's just say that what I caused to happen to him out of my own foolishness and misunderstanding made that his second-worst memory..."_

_Lily-prime started to feel shivers running down her spine at the look of regret that covered her counterpart's face..._

**Author's Note: **The next chapter will be the final time-line viewed before the epilogue, so be warned; unlike most of the earlier time-lines, things will be pretty bumpy in this next one... I might write it a little differently than previous time-lines though, as Lily will basically be getting a guided tour. The reason as to why one of her counterparts suddenly showed up will be explained within the next two chapers...

Some things to keep in mind about the differences between this time-line and canon: Severus doesn't have the tormenting knowledge that he (indirectly) caused Lily's death hanging over him, instead feeling pride at the fact that he had been able to save her in spite of his own mistakes in the past... As such, although it took a while, he was able to get over his feelings for her.

In case it isn't obvious, Severus didn't reveal the truth about the past to Lily as he believed that there was little point in doing so, and in an effort to let bygones be bygones with James. Mind you, I do not know if it would have continued like that for certain, but it seems likely given what we see of Severus, James and the Marauders...

On an offtopic, I do hope that I did justice to the Severus/Hermione pairing, as it is my second favorite canon-character pairing for Severus after Lily...and a reasonably close second at that...


	9. Certainty's Price

**What if? The Purgatory of Lily**

**Chapter 9**

**Certainty's Price**

_I have many regrets, let this not be one of them..._

**_Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series._**

Lily-prime looked at her counterpart in trepidation and with a modicum of dislike; she suspected that Severus regretted the incident by the lake at least as much as she had, so anything that made even that horrible memory pale in comparison had to have been extremely cruel indeed...something which Lily-prime knew now that Severus didn't even remotely deserve.

Nonetheless, Lily-prime let her anger die out without saying anything, since this version of herself had clearly paid for her sins already and then some. As such, she said calmly, crossing her arms as she did so, "Err...right then, let's get started, ok? Show me your time-line then er..." Not knowing what to say, she referred to her counterpart as simply, "Lily Snape, I assume?"

The red-head before her merely shook her head sadly and said, "No, Lily Evans still. My life ended before Severus and I could tie the knot."

Unsure of what else to do, Lily-prime shrugged and decided to mentally refer to her counterpart as 'Sixty', after the number on her whiteish robes. After several moments of silence, she said, "Well, how about we begin your time-line then?"

Sixty smirked, then turned and pressed her hand to the mirror, causing a reddish light to seep into it. As she did so, she said slowly, "Like with most of the time-lines you have seen thus far, the change to my time-line occured at a key defining moment of the our friendship. In your life, it was the end of the story of your friendship with Severus, but not in mine..."

Slowly, the mirror seemed to swirl with Sixty's red light, then a scene appeared. It was one which Lily-prime recognized with a burning shame, the time when Severus had pleaded with her for her forgiveness, but she had left him standing outside the portrait hole to Gryffindor tower...

* * *

_"I'm Sorry."_

"Ugh...I know that you are, and I forgive you for it, Severus. That's not the problem, really it's not. I mean, I'm angry with you about it, but..."

Severus looked at Lily nervously, waiting for her to continue. As she looked back at him in exasperation, he cursed himself again for how he had acted earlier. If he hadn't attacked Potter with that _Sectumsempra_, then maybe he would have never shouted that word at her. Right then, Severus really, truly hated himself for how he had acted...

Finally, Lily said dully, looking at him with too-tired eyes, "Severus, why can't you see it? A year ago, two years ago, I know that you would never have said 'the word' to me under any circumstances. You never started saying that word until you joined Mulciber, Avery and the rest of that gang of future Death Eaters. Now you say it all the time, to everyone, even to your best friend..."

Severus gulped, trying to somehow explain his actions to her, but he couldn't. He couldn't tell her how he was sure that he had to do it to fit in if he wanted to join the Death Eaters, because she didn't approve of them, in spite of the fact that they had helped him for so long. Thanks to them, although Severus was little more than scum from Spinner's End right now, he would one day be somebody important, special even...somebody who Lily might be able to love...

If he told Lily though, told her how he needed this, then she would laugh at his pretentions of having a romance with her as she left him alone again... It was hard enough getting by when most of the school, his family and Lily's sister thought of him as worthless, but Severus knew that he would just break if Lily felt the same way...

_Lily-prime swallowed, not able to say anything, nor meet Severus' gaze through the mirror. _

_Meanwhile, Sixty asked quietly, almost cruel in her whispering, "What do you think Severus thought during your time-line, when you all but ranted to him? Did he think that there was anything left that he could fight for? Did he even imagine that you might understand or empathize with him?"_

_Lily-prime merely watched in silence, remembering her own words 'My friends don't even understand why I talk to you anymore!' and unable to answer..._

After about five minutes of silence, Lily said quietly, "If that's all, Severus, I'm going up to bed now. It's late, and I was already in bed when Mary let me know about how you were standing outside..."

As she walked away, Severus found himself struck by a sense of surprise that he had gotten off the hook so easily; thinking about it, he had to admit that he hadn't really expected Lily to forgive him. After all, Severus knew that he didn't deserve it, but he had tried in the hope that maybe he would be wrong...

_Sixty then said aloud, seeming to be musing to herself as she did so, "I'm not quite sure why I forgave him so easily... Much like you, I was tired of trying to defend him to my friends, tired of how he refused to listen to me, and all but certain that there was no point in trying any longer... Maybe my Severus was right in what he said..."_

_Lily-prime looked at her in curiosity, then asked, "What did he say?"_

_Sixty smiled a secretive little smile, then said quietly, eyes anchored on Severus' as the scene changed slowly, "He told me that it was probably the most foolish thing he had ever heard of, because I did it without any hope at all... However, he had a smile on his face as he said this, and I swear to this day that he also whispered 'And it was the bravest...'."_

_Lily-prime had difficulty arguing with that assessment, and she wondered what 'her' Severus would say about her. How would she be remembered...?_

Meanwhile, Severus promised himself that he would do something to make himself worthy of her forgiveness, even if he would never be worthy of anything more...

* * *

_Time passed swiftly, but Lily-prime was distracted from watching the mirror by the words of Sixty._

_"Just like with you, we continued in a state of Limbo; I myself was under the mistaken impression that Severus' growing bitterness and friendship with the Slytherins equated to evil, while Severus believed that the only way I would even consider him romantically was if he became a Death Eater, and until then he was unworthy of...anything really. Still, he did start behaving a bit better, stopping his use of the word 'Mudblood' and such. However, James and I started growing closer at the same time, although I refused to admit my attraction to Severus, James or even myself..." _

_Sixty paused, then continued quietly, "Although Severus and I both pretended that everything was fine, perhaps in the hopes that if we kept pretending then it would be fine, our friendship continued to deteriorate. However, one day I decided to confront him about his friends, as in the scene you are about to view...'_

_Indeed, the next scene came into view, showing Lily and Severus both standing near a tree by the lake. Tension could be seen written all over the girl's face, while Severus seemed to brace himself for some painful blow..._

"Severus...this has to stop, one way or another..."

"What do you mean? What has to stop?"

"Didn't you hear about how last week Mulciber put Alexandra in the Hospital wing, AGAIN!? I mean, he's..." Lily trailed off, tired of having the same conversation again and again, and exhausted of how Severus would always defend him. It never seemed to end, as Severus was obstinate in refusing to confront the truth: no matter how good of friends Mulciber was to him, he was a sadistic, petty bully, and he was going to drag Severus down with him... 'All the way down to the Death Eaters...'

"He's what, Lily...?" Lily could hear the same exhaustion in Severus' voice that she felt; she didn't even know why he even pretended to listen to her anymore, as it was clear that none of her arguments had made a difference so far. If only Severus would get as angry about their bullying as he did about James and the Marauders...

Deciding to try a new approach, Lily then said coolly, keeping a close eye on his nervous face as she did so, "Severus, why do you tolerate Mulciber so much? Do you really think that it's all...how did you put it, 'just for laughs'!? I've tolerated your usage of Dark Magic because you don't use it to hurt anyone, but Mulciber...Mulciber enjoys hurting people! Admit it!"

_Lily-prime rolled her eyes, then asked mockingly, far from impressed at Sixty's 'new approach', "That was your brilliant plan? Insulting Mulciber!? I spent months trying that, to no effect whatsoever!"_

_Sixty only smirked, before saying confidently, "Just keep watching. You'll see..."_

Severus grabbed ahold of the tree-trunk, seemingly for support, but then said impatiently, "You wouldn't understand; you've never really taken the time to get to know him, but Arcturus Mulciber is actually a very good friend. I mean, a couple of months back he came to my defense when that prat POTTER was attempting to rearrange my face! Sure he has a few flaws, but..."

Lily then saw her chance and pounced, nodding as she said nonchalantly, "OK, I see your point; he has good traits that make up for his bad ones in your eyes, correct?" Severus nodded slowly, a wary look in his eyes, and Lily continued, "Well, in that case I'm sure you won't mind it if I were to make friends with or go out with James, right?"

Severus' eyes widened, then he started speaking frantically, almost shouting as Lily listened with a small smile on her face, "What's Potter have to do with anything!? And...and why would you even want to be friends with him, let alone DATE him!? He's an insensitive bully! An arrogant git! I mean, Arcturus has some good qualities, but you've never taken the time to get to know them-"

Lily then interrupted, saying coldly, "And how is that different from James? Sure, he hexes you all the time, puts you in the hospital wing now and again. But it's 'just a laugh', right? Just for your information, he can actually be a very nice person if you're friends with him. I mean, he and his parents took Sirius in when he was disowned by HIS own family, so if bullying other people is no big deal... Well then, why shouldn't I go out with him, he is cute and charming you know..."

Severus seemed to be searching for an argument as his eyes darted around wildly, but then they narrowed and he glared back at Lily, saying furiously, "From what I hear, you're pretty chummy with Potter already, so what does that make you? Nothing more than a bloody HYPOCRITE! Why should I have to give up MY friend if you aren't willing to even take your own advice!?"

"That's not...I'm not...URGH, give me a minute!" Lily spluttered for a moment while Severus smirked, then began to think quickly. Her relationship with James was confusing, even to her; on one level she rarely did anything more friendly than mildly-insulting banter with him, and frequently ignored him for days on end when he had done something particularly rotten. However, on another level, Lily had to admit that her heart started beating crazily half of the time he was around James.

Up until now, she had always avoided thinking about it whenever she could, but Severus was clearly forcing her to define her relationship with James. If Lily took her own advice and removed Severus' last excuse, then Severus would no longer be shackled to Mulciber and his friends, assuming that he stopped hanging out with them of course. However, if she did so, then she would never find out what that crazy leaping sensation in her chest when she was around James was about...

While Lily was still musing, Severus spoke up, saying carefully, "How about this? We both try to keep our respective 'friends' on the straight and narrow, but make it clear that until they shape up, we won't be spending time with them doing...anything. That would be Mulciber and Avery for me, as I'm not forgetting how much you dislike Avery either, and Potter, Black, Pettigrew and Lupin for you. Is that acceptable?"

Lily quickly nodded in agreement, then offered Severus her hand to shake, which he did with a small smirk. Meanwhile, Lily thought to herself, 'I like this deal; it's practically win-win. Either Sev gets Mulciber and Avery to shape up, like that's ever going to happen, or he has to give them up. If James 'loves me' as much as he claims, I'm sure that he will back off of Severus if he realizes how important it is to me, and that will get the rest of the Marauders off of his back!'

With a smirk identical to Severus', Lily let go of his hand, then left with a new spring in her step. As she made plans for just how she was going to persuade James to stop his mad anti-Snivellus campaign, Lily vaguely noticed that her hand suddenly felt a lot colder and emptier...

_Sixty then chuckled oddly as the scene faded out, shaking her head in amusement while smiling widely. Lily-prime was confused until Sixty said with a strange laugh, _

_"You'll never believe how Severus got Mulciber and Avery to quit their bullying ways; the li'l git promised them the one thing that always works on boys their age: attractive girls. He went to a couple of Hufflepuff girls and offered to do their homework if they would date Avery and Mulciber for the duration, then he went to Avery and Mulciber and told him about two Hufflepuff girls who were dying to go out with them, but were scared off by their reputation as bullies!"_

_Eyes widening, Lily-prime then said in a tone of utter disbelief, "You're NOT serious. They fell for THAT!?"_

_Sixty nodded, smirking as she said while laughing in that same odd tone, "Well, Severus figured he could maintain the illusion at least until the end of term, as it was midway through the spring of our sixth year. You wouldn't believe what some guys are willing to do if they think it will net them a girlfriend at that age..." That strange laugh slowly turned into sobs as Sixty then whispered, tears falling from her eyes, "...How did something like that turn out so badly...?"_

_Lily-prime had a bad feeling all of a sudden, as she realized that the odd note she had heard in Sixty's laughter was a bitter one..._

* * *

_Several brief images passed by swiftly, but Lily-prime was distracted from paying attention to them by the story that Sixty told in a halting voice, no longer even looking at the mirror as she spoke._

_"Soon after that day, a Hogsmeade visit day came by. All of my girlf-friends were busy with their significant others that day, so I asked S-Severus to take me, assuming it would be just a normal day in Hogsmeade b-between friends. However, Severus...misinterpreted it, thinking that I had asked him out on a d-date with him. It wasn't ro-romantic, not really, but he took me to a nice restuarant with all my favorite foods at the end of the trip- p-probably spending almost all of his pocket-money for the year on it..."_

_It was weird, but although tears were still running down her cheeks, she was smiling slightly as she continued, _

_"When we returned to Hogwarts, he gave me kiss on the lips; it wasn't my first, as I'd already kissed a boy once or twice before, and frankly his skill was truly awful... However, I'd never received a kiss that had so much emotion in it before, and I couldn't stop myself from kissing him back... We didn't get together then, but the next Hogsmeade visit I didn't even bother asking if my girlfriends wanted to come, as I wanted to see if it would be just as good as the first date."_

_Curious, Lily-prime couldn't stop herself from asking, although a feeling of dread was beginning to course through her as she did so, "And was it? Was it as good as the first date you two had?"_

_Sixty shook her head slowly, then said quietly, a small smile signifying a happy memory on her face, _

_"No...it was better, so much better that I made sure that we got together that very same day, and that everyone knew it too... James was hurt, but he hadn't actually stopped attacking Severus until after Severus and I got together, and it always seemed to be on a more physical level with him. You know? I mean, he was attractive and charming, but he hadn't really tried for an emotional connection at that point...still calling me 'Evans' after knowing each other for about seven years..."_

_Sixty then said in a voice that was so low that it was nearly a whisper, "But then something happened, and this scene was the result of it..."_

"I...sorry? What was that?" Severus spoke in a voice he didn't recognize as his own, unable to comprehend what was happening as Lily looked at him with cold, pitiless eyes. Praying that this was a horrible nightmare, he pinched his left arm as hard as he possibly could, only to realize in a stunned sense of horror that this was not a dream; it was indeed horrible, but it was reality, a reality that was a scene out of his worst nightmares...

"Severus...I know that I tried denying it for a while, but the truth is that I love James Potter, and not you. I know that he used to bully you and such, but now that he's stopped...I've realized that he is my one, true love. Do you understand, or are you really as thick as James claims?" Lily spoke in a voice that was so cold that it resembled a river of ice, and her eyes were as two blocks of green ice. Meanwhile, the crowd gathered around them started whispering loudly, clearly intrigued by the latest bit of gossip.

_Lily's eyes widened, shocked that Sixty could have ever said anything like that to Severus... She turned to look at her counterpart with a glare, but she was too riveted to the story to say anything, as it was much like the proverbial train-wreck..._

"B-but...how? I thought that..." Although Severus was certain that he would be angry within a few hours, right now he was too gobsmacked to feel anything other than numbness, and his voice. Still, he tried one last effort to keep something, even if he couldn't stay in a relationship with her. He then said quietly, hoping that no-one else would hear the note of pleading in his voice, "Could...could we at least be friends afterward?"

Lily then spoke calmly, not even pretending to sound sympathetic, loudly enough that everyone in the crowd heard her with ease, "Sorry, 'Sev', but it would just be too awkward, you know? I mean, James shouldn't have to spend all of his time looking over his shoulder, worried about my ex. Isn't that right, James?"

James looked confused, although jubiliation was slowly growing on his face as he said, "Err, yeah, that sounds about right, Lily."

Lily then smiled happily, saying to Severus even as she looked into James' eyes, "You see? Now run along, OK Snape?"

While Severus watched in a state of shock, Lily then pulled James' head down to hers and kissed his lips thoroughly, before opening them to give him an in-depth snogging... Even as Severus felt his heart shattering into pieces without count, he heard the sound of the crowd cheering dimly around him, not caring that he got his heart shattered with the Head Boy and Head Girl getting together in front of them. It was like a warped version of a scene from one of Lily's 'romantic' movies, where the bad guy got dumped, and everyone cheered on the hero as he kissed the girl...

_Lily-prime felt relief for a moment that she had never done something like that, even when she had started dating James. She had always shown...discretion with James, and it gladdened her greatly that Severus had never had to witness her snogging him... This had to be a nightmare beyond Severus' imagination..._

Suddenly the numbness surrounding Severus' thoughts seemed to shatter, leaving behind only pain as the girl he loved but who didn't love him kissed his worst enemy passionately, having thrown Severus away like a piece of garbage. Tears starting to flow from his eyes, Severus fled before anyone could notice anything but their joy at the 'perfect couple' finally getting together, not even knowing where he was fleeing to but knowing that anything could be better than watching his world shatter before his eyes.

Finally, Severus seemed to regain consciousness in a little alcove he had always liked to hide in, behind one of the many Hogwarts suits of armor. It almost felt like a dream...until Severus felt the pain in his left arm, and saw the blood oozing from where he had pinched it, pressing so hard that it had broken the skin and started bleeding. 'It's real...Lily has finally left me, like Potter always said she would...'

He had been afraid that this would happen for a while now, knowing that eventually Lily would realize how he was little more than gutter trash, but Severus had prepared himself long ago for the pain that he now felt...

"Severus, are you...OK?" It was Celeste Greengrass, the girl that he had rescued from Avery's clutches last week. She looked at him with a look of kindness-filled concern, apparently the only person that had noticed his panicked flight from that hellish nightmare outside on the Hogwarts grounds...

Severus glared at her, then shouted furiously, "OK!? Of course I'm OK! I'm just bloody spiffing perfect, now leave me alone, just LEAVE ME ALONE!" For a moment, Severus successfully glared hatefullyat the blond-haired girl before him, but he had already lost the battle against his tears and his voice followed it. As such, he was only able to whisper, "Please...just go..."

"Severus, maybe...maybe if she knew how you felt, it might make her change her mind..." The girl bit her lip, tears falling from her brilliantly-blue eyes, then she continued, "I could even tell her...about that day, if it helps..."

Severus looked at Celeste for a moment, considering what she said, but in the end he said coldly, "Don't bother, it won't make a difference; it never would have made a difference. Besides..." He then continued in a bitter, mocking tone of voice, "...I'd never want to interfere with her and her 'true love'. Promise me you won't tell her, Celeste, please..." Severus said the last bit with a touch of pleading audible in his voice...

"But mayb-"

"PROMISE ME!"

"...Alright, I promise that I won't tell Lily under any cicrumstance, OK?"

As Severus nodded, Celeste gave him a light hug, then walked slowly away. Severus' tears then returned, flowing harder and faster than before . He had prepared himself long ago for the pain that he now felt...but that didn't mean that it hurt him any less, as he had made Lily his everything, especially since he had destroyed any possibility of reconciliation with the Death Eaters last week...

Even through his pain, Severus knew he would have to apologize to Celeste for how he had reacted tomorrow; just because he had been hurt horrendously didn't mean that Celeste was hurting any less... At least his pain hadn't been physical pain, like hers had been... Severus was used to pain after all, in all its forms...

_Lily-prime stood rigid as the scene began to fade out, panting in the effort it took to keep herself from trying to furiously bash Sixty's head against a solid object until her brains oozed out. Several minutes went by in silence, as Lily was too busy trying not to erupt in fury..._

_Finally, she turned toward her counterpart, grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her like a rag doll, roaring in rage as she shouted, "What the hell is wrong with you!? You disgusting excuse for...I HAVE NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE HOW HORRIBLE YOU ARE! Sev...Severus loved you...and you MANGLED his heart! Nothing I've done even remotely compares to just how DISGUSTING this is! Why the HELL would you even THINK of hurting him like that!?"_

_Sixty then laughed bitterly, saying coldly as she backed away from the near-mad Lily-prime, tears and self-hatred both visible on her face, "It was because of the biggest mistake of my life, a mistake so vast that I doubt you can even comprehend it, but perhaps you will understand if you see the reasons...even if he still didn't deserve it... After all, we both made the same sort of mistake several times, but at least I managed to correct them..._

_Glaring at her counterpart once more but deciding to pause for the moment and see what she meant, Lily-prime prepared to watch the continuation of this time-line with a sense of utter rage, surprising even herself just how deep it ran at the idea of hurting Severus like this..._

* * *

_Lily-prime knew that time was passing in the mirror, although Sixty wasn't saying anything at all for the time being, but she found that she couldn't care in her present state. Though she had slowly grown to greatly regret how she had given up on Severus so easily in her time-line, it boggled her mind how her counterpart could have thrown him away like an overused pair of shoes. _

_Glaring at her near-reflection once more, Lily-prime mused to herself,'At least I had something occur that made my choice understandable; what she did was monstrous...but she did say that she corrected it somehow... How could it have been the result of a mistake though? It's obvious that she wasn't even pretending to be merciful to him...'_

_Sixty then started speaking once more, saying softly as she looked sadly at the swirling mirror, _

_"Although I had given up on Severus, at least one good thing had come from our relationship at the time, or so I thought. He had managed to show me that it was possible to get the other 'future Death-Eaters' to change, with his success with Mulciber and Avery and my success with him. Building on the same idea that had worked with Severus personally, and getting assistance from Slughorn and Dumbledore, I then began a kind of...campaign. The idea was to get Slytherin to change its tune and join 'the good guys'... I doubt that they would have listened to me, but James and Sirius DID tag along to help out, and since they were purebloods...you get the idea."_

_Sixty paused for a moment, then continued with a slight smile, "Although I was far from completely successful, I think that I was able to achieve something that led to a great change in the long run. Thanks to my efforts, a great many Death Eaters changed sides after Voldemort started showing his true colors..."_

_Her smile faded as she then started speaking in a voice that reminded Lily-prime of how Severus had always referred to time spent with his father, a tone that expressed sheer loathing and quiet fury all in one, "Meanwhile, James and I started dating after my break-up with Severus as you saw, although it wasn't real at first... Still, he kinda grew on me; you know how it is... This scene took place in the Spring of my seventh year, after I had really started dating James..."_

_And indeed, the mirror had reformed into a scene out on the Hogwarts grounds, with Lily, James, Mary and the other Marauders sitting down by the lake..._

"So, how did your Charms class go, Lily? We had...other committments, so the four of us cut class." Lily looked at James reproachfully, but he still smirked as he saw her lips quirk slightly in amusement. However, James knew that it wouldn't stop her from trying to convince him that he should have been more 'responsible'.

"Indeed, Prongs, there was a bit of roast pork held captive in the kitchens that just HAD to be liberated. How could we possibly attend classes while facing such a crisis?" As Sirius said this in a tone of utter seriousness, belied by the smile threatening to break out on his face, Remus sighed. Meanwhile, Lily glared at Sirius and looked as if she were about to respond, but Remus beat her to it.

"Padfoot, perhaps it wasn't the best of our ideas, as now we're going to have to turn in our homework late again...and James' Head Boy badge wasn't supposed to be used to get us out of trouble for such ridiculous stunts..." Remus spoke in a tired voice, and James felt a twinge of sympathy for him as it was close to THAT time of the month, but Remus was so...strait-laced much of the time. In Peter's opinion, he REALLY needed to get laid...

Peter then laughed, almost giggling as he said cheerily, "At least the rest of Gryffindor gets to eat, eh Padfoot? Besides," He patted his rather-round stomach, "I was starving, and if it hadn't been for the food I might not have made- Hey, look over there! It's SNIVELLUS!" Peter pointed, still laughing, over at the Slytherin boy who had just walked out of the castle.

James cursed mentally as Lily abruptly stiffened at Peter's words, then started looking as if she wanted to cry, thanks to the mere mention of HIS name. Even now, months after the break-up, Lily still broke into crying jags some of the time when she thought that no-one was looking. James truly hated it, but there was nothing he could do but remind her that what happened was NOT her fault, and that it was Snape's fault what had happened...

Forcing a smile, James then said with fake cheerfulness, patting Lily soothingly on the shoulders as he did so, "Why don't the six of us go inside? It's getting kinda muggy, and I'll bet that the house-elves have some great food in the kitchen..."

Lily nodded without saying a word, walking away without even looking at the Slytherin freak, completely missing the look of broken longing visible in Snape's eyes as she swiftly strode past the boy. James glared at Snape and pushed him out of the way as the rest of the Marauders and Mary followed, matching glares on their faces. Mary then spoke to Peter angrily, just barely audible to James as he tried to keep up with his girlfriend,

"You moronic IDIOT! Don't you know better than to use any varient of the S-word around Lily!? She's still messed up about how she caught him cheating her with Celeste! You do remember that she was actually ready to admit that she was IN LOVE with the disgusting little prat, right!?"

James glared back at Snape once more, furious at him again. 'How the hell could she have fallen 'in love' with such a Dark arts-obsessed little CREEP like that!? Well, at least it led to one good thing; now Lily's with me, and Snape will never bother her again as long as she lives, not if I have anything to say about it. He may not have cheated on her, but he still never deserved her!'

_Lily-prime stared at the scene before her in confusion, anger dissipating as she tried to grasp what it all meant, but Sixty had already started speaking. Glaring at James hatefully, Sixty then said quietly, words coming slowly as if she had to struggle to say them, _

_"I didn't actually catch him cheating, like in person or anything, but I had put together what I thought were all the pieces. I had discovered that he had been spending a couple of hours with Celeste every week or two for months, and when he disappeared with her from Hogsmeade one night, only for both of them to arrive back in Hogwarts the next morning in the same clothes they had left in...let's just say that I had all the proof I needed to declare him guilty..."_

_Feeling a great sense of foreboding, hurt at the very idea that Severus would cheat on any of her counterparts, Lily-prime then asked in an almost whisper, "And was he? Was Severus really cheating on you?"_

_Sixty then laughed bitterly, echoing through the emptiness for several seconds, before saying, "Severus had no idea that anyone even thought that he COULD have been cheating on me, let alone that he had supposedly done so. It completely shocked him when I offered him my forgiveness a couple of years later, as he had no idea what I was even talking about..."_

_Lily-prime was surprised at this, only capable of blurting out stupidly "Didn't you ever accuse him of cheating on you or anything ask him or something? I mean, what was the harm it could have done just to ask?"_

_Sixty only whispered wryly, her eyes locked on Lily-prime's own, saying, "Then why didn't you...? Why didn't you ask Severus...?"_

_Lily-prime couldn't understand what Sixty meant, but had a feeling that it was something big..._

* * *

_In the mirror, time started to pass by more quickly, probably a couple of years all in all. Meanwhile, Sixty started speaking, apparently having forgotten the strange question she had just asked Lily-prime, _

_"Over time, the pain from Severus' 'cheating on me' slowly healed, although it still hurt whenever James would try to spend time with a female friend... Let's just say that after my best friend had betrayed me in such a way, WHILE dating me, I could believe it of anyone. It got to the point that I couldn't sleep whenever James was hanging out in female company. Still, I eventually was able to start trusting again, and I fell in love with him at about the same time... We were even engaged to be married..."_

_As Sixty paused in reminiscence, Lily-prime asked carefully, sure that the answer wouldn't be a good one,"You 'were' engaged to be married? What happened?"_

_Sixty then said coldly, a single furious tear sliding down her right cheek, "I finally got to the point that I was able to talk to Severus without wanting to burst into tears, so I decided to confront him about what he had done, trying to get some closure at least. I did it the day of the wedding, wanting to get some closure... As I already mentioned, he had no idea what I was talking about. At first, I thought he was lying, telling him about how I had seen him and Celeste apparating..."_

_As Lily-prime watched, Sixty then growled out, her words bitten off in her fury, "Severus then told me something that Celeste had told him, something that I wanted to believe was false. However, I could tell that it was true when I looked in his eyes... I then went to confront James, as you will see in the next scene..."_

_Lily-prime then turned back, her own blood beginning to boil as the scene in the mirror turned into that of James in his house, having just finished putting on a tuxedo..._

Suddenly the doors slammed open, and Lily walked into the room furiously, clad in a slightly-dirty, white wedding dress. James seemed to shrink back slightly, eyes widening in surprise, probably because Lily had been the one harping on about how it was bad luck to see her in her dress. On the other hand, perhaps it was because of the anger that Lily could feel on her face, twisting it into a glower...

Swallowing, James then attempted to crack a joke, although he was clearly nervous even as he teased, "So, I can see by the mud on your sleeves that you just couldn't wait to see me, eh Lily?"

Lily's eyes hardened, then she said slowly, in a deadly tone of voice, "I went to see Severus today, you know, to get some closure on what happened. Guess what he told me when I accused him?"

James quickly replied angrily, although Lily couldn't help but see the fear in his eyes as he did so, making her feel even more sure of her conclusions, "And how could you possibly trust HIM!? Don't you remember how he betrayed you and everything your friendship was based on, just to go shag a fifth-year!? He was lying, isn't it obvious!?"

"James, I didn't even say what he said yet...and he didn't shag a fifth-year, as YOU KNEW VERY WELL! Severus didn't find out until after a while after the fact, but Celeste told you right after the break-up...told you about how that night they were 'cheating', he had been taking her to St. Mungo's, BECAUSE SHE HAD BEEN RAPED BY AVERY!" As Lily accused him, she watched James face closely, desperately searching it for any signs of innocence or guilt that were hiding in it...

However, it soon became apparent that Lily didn't have to watch James so closely, as his face then purpled as he shouted furiously, "I can't BELIEVE this! That happened THREE BLOODY YEARS AGO, yet it's still important to you because it is that stupid SNIVELLUS SNAPE! I've spent years of my life trying to show you that I was the better man, far better than that slimy Slytherin, and now you are going to forgive him because that ONE TIME he was innocent!?"

Lily's mouth fell open as James continued his rant, apparently having spent years with this building up, eyes blazing as he roared,

"I mean, ever since he got off the train, all I've been hearing is 'Sev did this.', 'He's worth twelve of you, Potter, even if he is a Slytherin.' and 'Severus would know this...'. Hell, he's been hoping to join You-Know-Who since he got to Hogwarts I'll bet, and you were STILL thinking that he was just 'confused'! Here I was declaring how much I bloody loved you for YEARS, and you went straight to him the second you had the first opportunity! He would have ruined you if...!"

He paused and swallowed there, before walking up to Lily slowly and looking at her sadly. James then gripped her by the shoulders, so tightly that it hurt, and almost whispered as he looked at her pleadingly,

"If I hadn't done it, then you would have never given me a chance; Lily, I love you ten times more than what Snape ever could, but you always chose him over me... I just wanted one chance to prove myself, and I got the opportunity of a lifetime for it through a bit of a misunderstanding, but is it really so wrong? You fell in love with me, don't deny it. Don't leave me for something so small as this...please forgive me..."

Part of Lily wanted to forgive James at the end of this impassioned speech, it really did, but...she couldn't. It wasn't just a one-time lie, or one mistake like he was trying to claim, but an endless cycle of deception...and he had known just how much the thought that Severus had cheated on her had hurt her even as he deceived her; even now the fear of betrayal was still there, as if her best friend could betray her like that, then anyone could...

As she looked at James, Lily tried to memorize his face, wanting to remember the moment even if she didn't know how she felt about it. She was just too numb still to process it, but her hands started shaking slightly as they clutched her wedding gown, before whispered to the man standing before her,

"James, do you know why Celeste went to you instead of talking to anyone else before she transferred? I mean, your hatred of Severus was infamous throughout Hogwarts, so do you know why she went to you?" James shook his head in confusion, It was because I was holed up in Gryffindor tower from when Severus and I broke up until the end of term, crying constantly and barely even leaving my bed... More importantly though, she knew that everyone in Gryffindor hated Severus...and she trusted that you would tell me the truth because you loved me..."

_As Lily-prime watched, she was strongly reminded of how James had never stopped attacking Severus, no matter how much she begged him..._

Lily then paused for a moment as James looked away guiltily, wishing that he had somehow chosen a different path rather than one of deception... Tears falling down her cheeks as she began to sob, Lily then said in a steadily rising voice, one which swiftly grew hysterical,

"James, I'm not leaving you for Severus; hell, I don't even know if he will forgive me anyway, let alone consider a re-relationship... H-how-however, I am leaving you."

James started to protest, but Lily quickly spoke over him, speaking loudly enough that she couldn't hear his words even as her own started to break up with her tear-filled sobs,

"Lily, I-"

"When I was crying, barely able to eat or sleep, thinking that I was worthless because my boy-boyfriend had been cheating on me with another woman..." Lily stopped, then said in a voice that sounded like the cry of a wounded animal, "...y-you saw 'the opportunity of a LIFETIME! Because of what hap-happened, I've spent Y-YEARS wondering if you would one day leave me for some other woman, if I would one day be left alone ag-again because I wasn't g-good enough..."

James interjected swiftly, trying to put a hand on Lily's shoulder to placate her as he said "I would never do any-", but she threw it off of her even as he did so.

Covering her ears so she wouldn't have to hear him, Lily then cried out, "How could you, James!? You saw all this...and you didn't care, only seeing your 'opportunity'! You saw your chance to win me, and you played me until you had won me, like I was some kind of trophy! That is what I can't forgive!"

As James opened his mouth, possibly to deny everything, Lily simply said "Goodbye, James." and disapparated...unable to speak to him, and unwilling to listen to excuses for something which in her mind wasn't excuseable...

_Lily-prime wondered if her James would have done the same thing, given the opportunity, as there were subtle differences between each of the people that she saw... If given the same option to win her over instead of his rival, would James have taken it? For that matter, would Severus have taken it? She didn't know, but suspected that Severus wouldn't have, even if it was just because he seemed to believe that he didn't deserve her... Her James...she didn't know either, and was unwilling to guess..._

_However, Lily-prime's musing was interrupted by Sixty's voice. She said simply, "James did try to ask me to forgive him again for several weeks, to his credit...but I've always had a hard time forgiving when it really hurt me, and as I said in that scene, he saw my tears and saw only victory... Even though he tried to keep pursuing me though, he soon came to believe that I had been cheating on him with Severus all along... Needless to say, he was furious, and did his best to make me seem the whore to all of our peers..."_

_Sixty then growled as she continued, clenching her hand into a fist as she said venomously, hate blazing in her eyes as she spoke, "Let's just say that James then made all of our friends choose between being friends with me and being friends with him, and you can guess which his 'Marauders' chose...although Mary stuck by me, even if part of the was to avoid Sirius."_

_Sixty then lapsed into a brooding silence, which lasted for nearly a minute before being broken when Lily-prime asked curiously, wondering about what had happened afterward, "And what happened with Severus? Did he forgive you...quickly that is? Did you even go to see him after your break-up with James"_

_Sixty looked back at the mirror, chuckling slightly in remembrance, then said with a small smile playing on her lips, "Yes to both questions, but it wasn't anything that even remotely resembled easy to get him to forgive me, as you might see in the next scene..."_

* * *

_As the scene in the mirror shifted to that of Severus' home in Spinner's End, Sixty spoke with a rueful chuckle, _

_"After attempting to drown my sorrows in cheap beer, still dressed in my soon-to-be-ratty wedding gown, I went to Spinner's End to try and talk to Severus. Well...it didn't go that well. In fact, that is probably the understatement of the century. He didn't even bother to answer the doorbell, no matter how much I tried to shout my apologies, and even made it so his wards sent me flying every time I even touched the front door's doorknob. I hadn't been that humiliated since he had called me a Mudblood."_

_Lily-prime opened her mouth to speak, then closed it without saying anything. Although it was harsh, Lily-prime couldn't blame Severus for his response, not really. Sixty had hurt him in a way that nobody deserved to be hurt, and she hadn't even bothered to tell him why... If it had been justifiable for Lily-prime to give up on Severus after he had insulted her, even after showing her how sorry he truly was, then this Severus had at least ten times as good a reason for not forgiving Sixty..._

_As if reading her mind, Sixty then spoke solemnly, "Nonetheless, it really wasn't anything more than I deserved; James may have lied to me and allowed me to believe that Severus had betrayed me...but that hadn't been until after the fact. I had single-handily decided that he was guilty, and hadn't even bothered to get his side of the story, although I had thought that I was being merciful by giving Severus a week to confess...before I took a jackhammer to his heart..." She then paused, before admitting, "Really, if I were in his shoes, I would never have forgiven me. He had no intentions of doing so either at first, but he had one weakness that made it possible for me to eventually get him to give it to me..."_

_Lily-prime raised her eyebrows in surprise, asking curiously, "What weakness was that?"_

_Looking back at her with pained eyes, Sixty then whispered sadly, "In spite of all that I had done to him, Severus still thought in the depths of his soul that he had deserved every bit of it, just not for the reason that it happened... If it weren't for his self-loathing, then he would probably have never forgiven me..."_

_Silence then filled the air, as there was nothing to say..._

Severus sighed as he looked over at the front door, his hair disheveled and eyes red from both tears -not that he would ever admit it- and lack of sleep. Lily had just appeared in his door yesterday, offering him forgiveness for something he hadn't done and would never have even thought of: cheating on her. Severus had been absolutely stunned at the time, that she would even think him capable of it. True, he wasn't a very good man, but he would NEVER have betrayed her like that. After he had told her this, hissing angrily, Lily had looked at him in blank shock and left...

During the time she had been gone though, Severus' surprise had changed to hurt, and then to anger and fury. In the end, he had come to a simple decision: he would no longer waste his time with Lily, no longer being friends with and supporting her, and he would no longer love her. SHE had been just like everyone else who had abandoned him, like his mother and his Slytherin friends. He had thought that maybe she would be different, that she wouldn't leave him alone in the dark.

Clearly he had been mistaken.

However, for whatever reason, Lily had returned to his front door last night and had begged him for forgiveness. Was she mocking him, wanting his friendship now that her marriage with Potter had apparently fallen through? How much did she believe he could take? After all that happened… She didn't even invite him to her wedding…not that he would have gone, but…

Was the friendship of half a lifetime that fragile? Was this doomed from the start?

'Probably. It was foolish of me to even think that anyone would want to be friends with me... None of my school-friends even come around anymore. No surprise really, as I got a good pureblood in trouble when I turned Avery over to the Aurors. So why should Lily want to be friends with me? No-one else does... Yes, it is best that I didn't try to repair things; it would have only delayed the inevitable, and made it more painful...'

Sighing once more, Severus walked over to the front door and listened for any sound, wondering if Lily was still there. When he heard nothing, he nodded calmly, as it had been just as he had predicted: Lily must have left sometime during the night, and he was alone once more. Still... 'At least I wasn't abandoned this time...'

He couldn't help but feel a twinge of pain that this was the case, that she had left, but he ignored it. If he allowed himself to feel pain every time someone disappointed him...

Deciding to check and see if the _Daily Prophet_ had arrived, Severus opened the door calmly. However, he quickly had to jump back in surprise, as a body fell to the floor. The body turned out to be Lily, who had apparently been propped against the door in her sleep, perhaps waiting for him. Severus' instincts took over and he casted a cushioning charm before her head hit the ground.

"Ooof!" Lily grunted in surprise, apparently not having been prepared for a sudden awakening. However, she immediately stood up, and Severus felt his eyes widen in shock. Her eyes were bloodshot, dried tear tracts decorated her face, her hair was in disarray, and her wedding dress was absolutely covered in mud. In fact, the sight was more than a little intimidating, so Severus quickly took another step backwards as tears started flowing from her eyes once more.

"I'm sorry, Sev, I never Knew! I thought...well I saw her there, thanking you for being there the whole night... I-I'm sorry! I should have told you later that night I know, but..." Severus hated how even now, after she had ripped his heart out, stomped on it, then rammed a knife into it, he still had to stop himself from trying pathetically to comfort her as she cried in front of him. Still, he couldn't forgive her for what she had done, what she had believed him capable of...

Severus gathered his courage, then glared down at her and said coldly, not allowing the slightest trace of pity into his voice,

"You said it before, Lily, and as I told you before, It isn't about you knowing or not knowing, Lily, you never even TRIED to talk to me or confront me about it. And then you were shouting about how you wanted to date a REAL man to the bloody rooftops! What was I supposed to think!?"

"I-I didn-"

Not wanting to listen to her, Severus plowed on angrily, putting his face less than a few inches away from her as he shouted at the top of his lungs, "Admit it, that was only an excuse to break up with me, wasn't it!? If it wasn't "Spending the night" with Celeste, It would have been something else! You were looking for any excuse to dump me and to end our friendship, because I wasn't BLOODY POTTER! If it wasn't that, then the reason would have been talking with Narcissa, or spending time with my housemates! I never looked at Celeste that way, and I don't think that she was interested in me either!"

Lily spoke timidly, backing away with fear in her eyes as she tried to defend herself, sobs growing in number with every word, "James l-lied to me, Severus! He said that you bra-brag-bragged about Celeste, th-that…"

Severus' temper flared, and he cut her explanation short and roared out angrily, "It never was about Potter and his stupid lies! Lily, it was about trust between us! You taught me that! If you can't trust your best friend, who can!? You were my best friend Lily, above all. I…I don't know what "Friend" means to you, Lily, but I've never betrayed you! NEVER! When you told me that you believed that… It hurt, Lily, it hurt so much! And then you just hopped right into bloody Potter's arms, not even bothering to-"

Lily almost shrieked as she interrupted, huddling on the ground as she yelled, "I Never knew Sev… James tricked me! James lied to ME! Please, you have to believe me! I know that I should have-"

"Lily! Didn't you hear what I was saying!? It was never about POTTER! It was about trust! You never trusted me after I got into Slytherin, always believing them over me when it wasn't happen right in front of your bloody FACE, and I was supposed to be your "best" friend! This situation was NOT Potter's fault and YOU KNOW IT! IT WAS YOURS!"

_'Did Severus think the same thing about me? That I didn't trust him because he was a Slytherin...?' Lily-prime wondered, then asked herself a more troubling question, 'Was he right...?"_

Lily's eyes widened, her lips trembled. She couldn't seem to do anything but open and close her mouth as she wrapped her arms around herself, now in a fetal position.

"I never wanted to hurt you, Sev, believe me please!!" She shrieked in anguish. Severus stopped. She just looked up at him, green eyes almost as dark as his black ones thanks to the lack of light in them, like a supplicant that had nothing more to loose. From her position in the dirty floorboards, her tear stained face was grotesque, although at least she was no longer crying. She looked hideous, like some THING that was barely even recognizable as Lily Evans...

And finally, she surrendered, whispering aloud, "You are right, Severus. You are right..."

Severus leaned back in shock. He had expected her to burst into tears, shout at him, get angry at him, anything but admit that she was wrong. 'How is that possible? Well, she just run out on her wedding with Potter... Something very strange must be going with Lily's head... Still, her admitting she is wrong... It may happen, but maybe once a year, maybe...'

Meanwhile, Lily whispered,

"You are right... and I'm really sorry, Sev. I'm so sorry... I'm sorry I did not trust you, I'm sorry I didn't talk to you when I know I should have. I'm sorry I ran out on our friendship. It's just...I was in love with you, and I thought that...I thought that you didn't care about me... It hurt, it hurt like nothing I had experienced, before it or since... I couldn't bear the idea of you cheating on me, so...so I tried to hurt you like you had hurt me. I thought that if you thought that it wasn't because you were cheating on me...then it would hurt you as much as you had hurt me..."

_Lily-prime listened without saying anything, recognizing the same sort of feeling she had felt when Severus had called her...'Mudblood' that day, although she suspected that her counterpart in this time-line must have even more hurt. After all, Lily-prime hadn't been in love with Severus when it happened..._

Lily was crying again, sounding desperate and broken... Her green eyes were dilated, and with rings under her eyes, her face flushed, and her matted red hair still adorned with the white tiara of her wedding dress, they made the entire image surreal. Severus couldn't look away, and he felt his anger fade away for the moment, with Lily's tear-streaked face gazing up at him...

"I'm s-sorry... Please...give me another chance, I'll d-do anything, p-please, Sev, I... Only your friendship... I...I won't ask for more, I'll promise I'll never hurt you again. I'll even s-swear the unbreakable vow, Please...forgive me... I'll do anything Sev... I will never talk again to Potter, I...I...beg of you... Please..."

Severus slowly looked at the miserable woman, in her dirty wedding dress, crying in the entrance of his house. He gazed at the morning sun that was slowly rising in the horizon. After all this, after what she did to him, was really a doubt of what he should do? Of course not. Without hesitation he entered back into the house, not even looking back. He could hear Lily's sobs increase in volume from the still open door.

He returned shortly, gave her an old, ratty, pale blue housecoat, old with age, although clean, and a couple of cups of coffee. Severus knew that the coffee wasn't very good, as he generally preferred tea. Still though, Lily drank it down as if it were ambrosia while smiling up at him. Uncomfortable at how emotional the situation had become, Severus then grunted out, "Well, you should clean yourself up now, Lily... You are...rather hideous at the moment actually..."

Severus allowed Lily back inside the house, and he knew that his heart would soon follow suit... He just couldn't stay mad at her if she was really sorry, and serious about what she would do to get his forgiveness...although Severus would never make her swear an Unbreakable Vow...as nothing was worth her death...

Lily's tears didn't stop for a little while, but even so, Severus could tell that she was smiling... He was glad for this...

_As the scene faded, Lily-prime was unable to speak, still touched by what she had witnessed. However, Sixty had taken care of the silence herself, saying contentedly while smiling, _

_"And so the first step was taken to restore our friendship. Mind you, it took me days to make him forgive me, wakes until he was ready to call me a friend again, and MONTHS before we were best friends again... Hell, it was harder dealing with him than at any other point in ANY of the times in the friendships of your time-line OR that of our counterparts! Half the time, he would blow up for the stupidest of reasons, and he wouldn't speak with me for days on end!"_

_Lily-prime asked curiously, thinking of similar, although probably lesser moments in her time-line, "And why would that be?"_

_No longer smiling, Sixty hung her head and said quietly, "Do you remember one of his thoughts in the scene we just witnessed, the one where he thought he had chased me away with those wards and by ignoring me? He thought that 'at least I wasn't abandoned this time'... By chasing me away, it meant to him that I couldn't abandon him...that it gave him some form of control..."_

_Lily-prime, not knowing anything else to say, blurted out, "That's...that's positively mad!"_

_Sixty merely shrugged, then said quietly, "And to someone like Severus...it makes perfect sense... If it's his fault that bad things happen, then he doesn't suffer for no reason..."_

_Unable to think of a response, Lily-prime merely sat in silence, thinking about what Sixty had just said..._

* * *

_In the mirror, time flowed on, much more swiftly than before; it appeared that several years had passed, and Lily-prime noticed the pendent that was on Sixty even in the afterlife was placed delicately on her counterpart's neck. She was sitting alone in a comfortable brown armchair in what appeared to be a cheap yet well taken care of apartment, glaring moodily down the hall, towards a door that was shut with a green shirt hanging over the doorknob..._

_Meanwhile, Sixty spoke, "Unlike in your time-line, there was no prophecy, and Voldemort eventually was able to gain control of the Ministry of Magic. Still, the war was far from over, as it neatly flipped the strategical advantages of the good guys and the bad guys. Although Voldemort had the Ministry under his pale thumb, he had to spread his Death Eaters everywhere in order to maintain order and prevent revolts, as Dumbledore and the Order were still at large." _

_She then smirked, before saying proudly, "Although my efforts back in school and earlier in the war in order to get the Slytherins to join us didn't pan out immediately, once they realized that the Order was ready and willing to help them, a lot of the less-zealous Death Eaters left in droves. It eventually led to one of the biggest intelligence blowouts in the war, as even with Peter Pettigrew on Voldemort's side at first, that was nothing compared to what we discovered when Regulus Black defected. Thanks to him, we found out about Voldemort's little Horcrux project..."_

_Lily-prime raised her eyebrows, unsure as to what Sixty was referring to, only for her to explain in an ominous tone, "With any of his Horcruxes alive, Voldemort could be resurrected even from death, and he had six of them. It made it so that killing him would be a very difficult task indeed, as he had guarded each of them thoroughly, although not perfectly..."_

_Sixty then spoke in a lighter tone of voice, waving an arm at the scene in the mirror, "Nonetheless, life went on, even in the middle of a war like that. Severus and I became roommates, both of us forced to move, me because of James' anger and Severus because we joined the Order of the Phoenix. Still, it was relatively easy to hide in Muggle London, as long as we were careful not to break the Taboo on Voldemort's name."_

_Interested at the frown that appeared on Sixty's face as she spoke of her and Severus becoming roommates, Lily-prime then asked in curiosity, "Err, were the two of you just roommates, or were you 'living together' as in...you know?"_

_"You'll just have to watch and see..." Sixty said as she smirked slightly, although she still seemed disgruntled about something... _

_Meanwhile, Lily-prime turned to the mirror once more, watching..._

'Sometimes...I really hate that I love him... It would be so much easier if we were just friends...especially when he's shagging Celeste like he is now!' Lily idly wondered if the green shirt's signifying 'do not disturb' applied when Severus was doing the disturbing. Severus was always very careful to keep quiet when he had 'company', but just because Lily couldn't hear him didn't mean that she didn't know exactly what he was doing.

Lily could even picture it now, even though the two of them had never actually done the deed, having intended to wait until marriage before sleeping together when the two of them had a relationship; Severus wouldn't be a particularly tender lover, as he had always been far too passionate when riled up, much like Lily herself. However, he would keep his ironclad self-control, dominating his 'victim's' body and mind as he dragged them into a world of screaming bliss...unless they were equally strong willed.

'Another good reason why CELESTE isn't the one who should be in there!' Lily thought to herself peevishly.

_Lily-prime felt her eyes twitch slightly. She did not enjoy the thought of Severus shagging...anyone else really. She had thought that, like Sixty had implied, she and Severus would get together in this time-line. However, that didn't appear to be the case..._

Lily then sighed heavily, glaring at the door to Severus' room once more as if it were the one at fault; unfortunately, given the state of the fight against Voldemort, it would have been rather stupid to go outside of their heavily-guarded home...and Lily was frankly too nice to interrupt Severus during his 'moment', as it was probably one of the few moments of happiness that he ever had during this blasted war.

'Still, he shouldn't be doing that with HER when he could be doing it with-' Lily cut herself off from that line of thought abruptly, shaking her head to clear it of any jealous thoughts. The redheaded woman had lost the right to be envious of whoever Severus was interested in having in his bed a long time ago, and even though Severus had forgiven her, that didn't mean that Lily would ever forget what she had done... She would never forget how it had been her own foolishness which had cost her everything and cost him so much pain...

Besides, even though she didn't like the idea of Severus being with anyone else, Lily greatly cherished their friendship. It was one of the reasons that she hadn't made a move yet, as she just couldn't bear the thought of ANOTHER disastrous romance destroying it once again.

'Besides, he does seem to like Celeste...although that might just be because she has blond hair, blue eyes, and a pair of 'D-grade' knockers that every male would love to get their hands on!' Lily snarked mentally, then sighed. 'Not that it matters anyway. Who would want the redheaded idiot who screwed them over when they can get the woman who is now the hottest model in the Wizarding World!? Heck, the odds of her even being REMOTELY interested in him had to be a thousand to one! Stupid Avery, stupid Severus, stupider ME!'

"Lily...? What are you doing up so late?"

Severus had apparently finished up while she had been mulling things over, as he was now looking at her curiously from the door of his room, dressed in only a faded green bathrobe. He was clearly exhausted, and Lily hesitated to think about how he had gotten that way. The idea of Severus, naked and sweaty with another woman was...actually something of a turn-on, if only because it had her picturing Severus.

Realizing that he was still waiting for her answer, Lily shrugged. "Just patrol duty with Remus. It wasn't too bad, just tiring, although I do wish he would talk to me though..."

Severus didn't say anything, but Lily could see a flash of sadness in his eyes, and knew that he understood why she would feel hurt at that. Still silent, he slowly walked over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder, which Lily leaned into. Although thin and pale, it was warm and provided a comfort that would have been absent with words alone. Nonetheless, it wasn't Remus who was causing her to feel hurt, but the man comforting her for it...

Lily forced a smile, then got up, whispering as she withdrew from his touch, "Don't worry, Sev, I'll be fine. I just need some time alone to myself, that's all..." Although Severus was trying to comfort her, and succeeded in some ways, it wasn't in the way that Lily wanted. She wanted him to touch her as a lover, not just as his best friend...

At that, Severus cleared his throat awkwardly, then tried to put a arm around her. Lily threw it off though, not trusting herself to keep her touch platonic. "Are you sure that you're alright? I mean..."

"I'm FINE... Just..." Lily trailed off, unable to mistake the hurt look in his eyes, remembering once more how fragile Severus still was. Putting her arms around him, she tried again, "I'm sorry...it's just that..." 'It's just that I want you to be holding me as you fall asleep at night, nobody else...'

Perhaps he read her emotions through magic, or merely saw them in her eyes, but Severus pulled her close and hugged her lightly. He then spoke, his eyes and voice troubled, "It's alright, Lily; if Remus doesn't love you back, then he must be a dunderhead..." He then squeezed her again, and Lily felt her lips parting slightly. He was much too close...

Apparently realizing just how close they had gotten, Severus made to let go, but Lily only pulled him closer. Now his face was barely inches from hers, so close that Lily could smell the sex he had just had, but she didn't mind as it also smelled like Severus... "Severus...It's not Remus that I wish loved me..."

Unmoving, Severus merely gazed into her eyes, in such a way that Lily would have thought him reading her mind. Meanwhile, Lily slowly brought her face closer, saying softly, "It's not Remus I dream about, it's not Remus I desire..." As Severus continued to watch her, a strange emotion playing across his face, something caught midway between fear and...something else...

It was that something else that gave Lily the courage she needed, pressing her lips to Severus in a kiss. For a moment that seemed like an eternity, her heart threatened to shatter, as she had risked their friendship for what looked like nothing...

Then Severus kissed her back...

_As the time-line faded away, Lily-prime looked at Sixty expecting, hoping for an explanation. The woman obliged, fingering her pendent absentmindedly as she did so, "Neither Severus nor I were ready for a relationship together after the events which had ended our last ones, and I was so busy beating myself up that I wouldn't have noticed his interest anyway. Still, it was probably for the best that we didn't try, not then at least..."_

_"Why is that? You said it yourself, he had forgiven you after all..."_

_Sixty's eye seemed to twitch slightly, then she sighed, clearly frustrated about something, "Unfortunately, while Severus' poor self-esteem made it easy for him to forgive me, it made trying to have a relationship with him all but impossible. __Remember how Severus had a tendency to be overprotective to a fault, and got moody when you mentioned your male friends when he was around?_

_Lily-prime nodded quickly, remembering more than a few incidents of that type, then Sixty continued, _

_"That may have been annoying, but it was infinitely preferable to what happened in my time-line. Instead of trying to push away anyone who he thought might 'steal' me away from him, he would simply walk away whenever my friends were around. He wasn't afraid of my abandoning him again...because he thought that it was inevitable, that I would eventually leave him like I had before. Heck, he actually made sure that he was renting another apartment at the same time that we shared our own, just so he was ready for WHEN I kicked him out... It took all of several years for him to realize that I wasn't going to abandon him ever again..."_

_Lily-prime watched her counterpart in silence, not knowing quite what to say..._

* * *

_The silence stretched on for a bit, but the mirror didn't wait for it to end, fast-forwarding what appeared to be a year later. This time, Lily-prime saw Severus and her counterpart on their own inside what appeared to be a dark, dank dungeon..._

_"After that incident, Severus broke up with Celeste, and the two of us got back together. Eight months, three weeks and five days later, he proposed to me, and I accepted happily. However...we never had the chance for our wedding, for although Voldemort's empire slowly crumbled under heavy resistance, some of his Death Eaters managed to capture us." Sixty chuckled, then looked back at Lily-prime with a strange smile on her face. "Ironically, those three weeks where we were captured, being tortured to death, were some of the best in my life in some ways. Finally, every last wall between Severus and myself seemed to crumble. It's just a shame that we had to die to achieve this..."_

_Lily-prime nodded slowly, her heart aching at the fact that she had never been able to achieve such a state of understanding with her Severus. How much might it have changed..._

"...So, why did you leave them, Sev?" Lily asked curiously; it was a question that she had been wondering since she had found that Severus HADN'T joined the Death Eaters. Avery's actions were bad, but they didn't explain why Severus had left the entire group, not that she was complaining.

Severus shrugged, then responded after a brief pause, a flicker or sadness in his eyes as he did so, "... Remember how Celeste was dating Avery? Well, as you know, one day he decided that he wanted to have her and wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. I had to stop him...and all the Death Eaters were angry with me for helping a 'blood traitor'. Apparently, not wanting to shag a pureblood made her one. After that, I couldn't stay with them anymore..."

"Oh..."

Lily trailed off, unsure what to say. The silence stretched for a few more minutes, both gritting their teeth at the random muscle spasms, before Severus broke the silence with a new question.

"Well...I've always wondered why you broke up with Potter myself. Was it really that you were 'just waiting for your chance for us to get back together again', like that blasted rumor mill said? Or was it something else?" Severus had a rigid appearance, and Lily suspected that this was a question that he had been curious about for the longest time...

It had been a long time, and although James' actions after the aborted wedding still stung, Lily wasn't that hurt anymore. "Sorry, but it really wasn't because I wanted to get back together with you, except for as friends I mean. I couldn't take how he lied to me about, that's all. I mean, if you had been in James' shoes, you would have told me the truth, wouldn't you?"

Severus frowned, several emotions flitting across his face, then he said quietly, "Honestly, I don't know if I wouldn't have done the same thing he did. It would have been awfully tempting, the chance to finally have you... Still, I'd like to think that, if you really did love him, I would have told you the truth and stood aside..."

"Thank you, at least you are being honest...about you being dishonest... I don't know..."

Lily allowed herself to trail off, and silence ensued, although she was sure that it wouldn't last very long. They didn't have much time until the next 'session', and talking was about the only thing that either could do to keep their mind off of things, as there was nothing of interest in the Azkaban dungeons.

At least it helped her to forget how her bones were shattered and her nerves and muscles screamed in pain... The Death Eaters hadn't the smallest scrap of mercy for Order members, and had been particularly cruel to the two of them, perhaps because of all the damage to the 'cause' that their espionage had done...

In some ways it was fortunate that the Death Eaters had chosen to keep both of them locked in together, as it helped Lily's courage since she couldn't bear to disappoint Severus in this... All the same, she still would have much preferred that she had been the only one caught, as there would be no rescue for either of them...

Severus suddenly spoke up, looking away from her and flushing red in embarrassment, "He hit me you know..." As Lily looked at Severus in confusion, he clarified, "...my father. Remember how I couldn't come over sometimes, for a few days at a time? Well, that was because I had needed to be punished. He was careful to keep it off of my face or neck, but sometimes...sometimes I didn't dare come over, because it would have been...noticable..." Severus trailed off, still not looking at her, but Lily could see that he had tensed himself up.

"I...I'm sorry that that happened, Sev. I...didn't know. I'm sorry..."

"It's...it's fine, just forget about it." Severus mumbled, still not looking at her.

Lily felt an acute sense of shame that she had somehow missed that, although she had known that Severus didn't really have a happy home. He had been very careful apparently, and Lily had never seen his father beat him or anything, nothing more than normal corporal punishment at least. Still though, she should have known... She should have found out some way... Severus should have told someone, and something should have been done...

"I won't Sev... I won't forget." Severus looked back at her oddly, his eyebrows raised questioningly. Lily looked Severus straight in the eye, feeling tears fall from her own. "What happened to you...shouldn't have been forgotten about, as if it didn't matter. You didn't deserve that, to be hurt. It did matter, and that's why I'll keep remembering it..."

"I...thank you, Lily..." Severus' voice was thick, and his face became blurry, although that might just have been the tears in Lily's eyes. "It means alot to me..."

The silence stretched on, only interrupted by pained hisses from the two lovers, bound together in suffering...

_'I didn't know either, although the first time-line I viewed should have implied it slightly, but I thought that it was just a caning or something... I wish he had told me... Why didn't he-'_

_"There was no rescue obviously." Sixty's voice interrupted Lily-prime's thoughts. "After three weeks, Voldemort decided to kill us publically, burning us alive like us 'Mudbloods' had all those years ago. Still, I hope that we won in the end, and Severus and I made a difference. We were also happy, so it wasn't so bad, as we had a few happy years before the end..."_

_Coughing slightly, a sad smile gracing her face, Sixty then changed topics, "Regardless, the point of this was to see what you learned. Do you know why your friendship with Severus failed like that, when it clearly could have been much more?"_

_"Give me a minute..." Lily-prime said, still watching the mirror, thinking to herself..._

* * *

_As her counterpart watched her impatiently, Lily-prime thought to herself; what had she missed that had caused her friendship with Severus to have such an apocalyptic ending? There had clearly been so much that either could have said, questions that both could have asked that needed answering and gauntlets that had not been thrown down. Indeed, that was obvious now, especially given those eight cases of 'What could have been.' that she had seen. _

_However, the question that Sixty was asking wasn't how their friendship had ended, but rather why it had ended. Really, it was kind of silly that it had ended in the first place, as Severus had clearly only needed her to ask the right questions to get the answer Lily-prime sought so desperately-that he wasn't going to join the Death Eaters. _

_So why hadn't she asked him such a question? For example, why hadn't she asked him why he was so desperate to join such a group as the Death Eaters? Or why hadn't she asked him why he was so defensive of his friends? Or the biggest one of all, would he not join them if she asked Severus not to do it for her sake? Instead, she had simply decided that he couldn't be saved anymore, and she had given up on trying anymore. _

_'I was so certain that there was nothing left to fight for, but if that were accurate, then why would he have changed sides when he found out I was in danger? Either he had changed his mind about the Death Eaters so much that he just needed a trigger, in which case I should have had more faith in him, or he did it solely for my sake in which case I was still wrong as I could have just asked him to change sides to begin with! But I was so certain, so how could I have-'_

_Lily-prime stopped, her eyes widening in shock, remembering several scenes all at once: a boy, hesitating as he tried to tell her something about how he had nearly died, warning her about James Potter. _

_Then there was another one, a child of barely ten, telling her of how he had tripped down the stairs earlier that day and that was why he was wincing. _

_Another scene, a sixteen year-old teenager, mouth opening and closing as he struggled desperately for words in front of a portrait hole. _

_Another, a man telling his wife of how he had mistaken kindness for goodness._

_Finally, the teenager once again, howling about how he was now worthless and she should leave him, as even he wouldn't want to be friends with himself now that he could no longer be a Death Eater._

_All of these scenes, although some of them were from the time-lines that she had viewed, had given her a picture of her friend that she had somehow misread. She had misread it all because..._

_"I was certain." Sixty looked at her curiously, clearly interested in her answer. Raising her voice slowly, Lily-prime continued with a sense of certainty, a sense that for once she believed that she had truly earned, "I was certain, and I was oblivious and I didn't believe that I, the great and kind Lily Evans, could be wrong. Even when I thought that I had been wrong, that my friends had been right about him all along, I didn't truly listen to anyone. Severus might have broken down then, too afraid to answer me, but the least I could have done was give him the decency of listening to him..."_

_Sixty seemed pleased with the response, nodding slowly as she said calmly,"A good response and quite accurate if I say so myself, Lily Potter, but it frequently takes more than one person to screw things up so badly. What could Severus have done differently? It was partially your fault, but what was Severus' greatest mistake?" _

_Lily-prime could answer that one easily, having read his thoughts in each of the time-lines quite a few times by now, even ignoring what she had heard him say aloud. "He...he didn't believe that he was worthy of happiness, that he was worthy of me, and most of all he didn't believe that I could truly care about him. He didn't trust me, believe he 'knew' in his heart that to trust me was only to to be hurt more when I inevitably left him... Really, if we had taken the time to talk about this, it would have saved a lot, and that's probably what hurt us most, the fact that we didn't talk to each other..."_

_Sixty nodded in acknowledgement. Nothing more was needed, as both knew that she was correct in this evaluation. _

_A few minutes passed, during which Sixty looked at Lily-prime oddly, then she sighed. "There is a reason that I've come here to talk to you, and you can be certain that it wasn't just to pass the time. I thought that perhaps...you had enough potential that you might be able to help me with something."_

_There was a brief pause, during which Lily-prime looked at Sixty without words to say, curious as to what her counterpart might want. Sixty then said simply, _

_"I want to do something for at least one Severus, any Severus really. My Severus may have forgiven me for my foolishness...but I still have yet to forgive myself. You at least show remorse for your mistakes, and I'm sure that had you the chance to relive your life, you would have changed so many things. As such, I'm going to make you an offer, one that I hope you won't want to refuse once you understand how things work here."_

_Lily-prime nodded once more, waving her hand to show that her counterpart could continue, which she did, _

_"First though, I'm going to give you a little explanation of how things work in the afterlife. You see, once you have gone through the necessary level of purgatory or hell, most souls are given the choice of either moving on to another world with those you loved most, reincarnation or creation of a world perfect for them...although the last one depends on how high of a percentile you have received... Trust me when I say that you don't have to worry about considering that option, although your Severus might."_

_She paused a moment, apparently evaluating Lily-prime, who was sitting there riveted. "You could try to move on to another world with those you are closest to, probably Severus, James, Remus and possibly Sirius from your generation, perhaps others joining... It would be enjoyable perhaps, but useless to my quest. Alternatively, you could try reincarnation, in which case you would be stripped of your memories and separated from those you love. Still, it would likely give you a fairly good life, as your percentile adjusted for purgatory is up to forty-five."_

_Lily-prime had to admit that she would probably prefer to move on, although she wasn't looking forward to the fights that the five or six of her friends and family would have, especially with Sirius... However, her thoughts were interrupted by Sixty's voice, "OR, you could go with a third option, my option..."_

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the long wait, I've gone through at least four different versions of this chapter/time-line. Honestly, I think that I might like it the best of those up until it, but that's just my personal opinion.

The next chapter will include Sixty's offer, Lily-prime's response, the epilogue and a list of possible upcoming fics, should any of you be interested. Ironic how such a long chapter has so short an Author's note, eh?


	10. Our Hearts' Paradise

**What if? The Purgatory of Lily**

**Chapter 10**

**Our Hearts' Paradise**

_My heaven is complete..._

**_Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series._**

As Severus' life faded away, not even Potter's almond-shaped emerald green eyes staying with him to light the journey into death, he had wondered vaguely what was beyond it. It wasn't something that he had ever thought about very much, although when he had he had always pictured nothing, or more specifically annihilation. That was what he had hoped for, as anything else would almost certainly result in a great deal of suffering on his part...

A facsimile of King's Cross hadn't been what he was expecting, staffed and crowded with what looked like a thousand copies of himself that had been slightly altered from the original, like the differences he would expect between the potions from his students at the N.E.W.T. level. It was likely a good thing that he no longer possessed a wand, as otherwise there would have been a lot fewer Severus Snapes running around,, as he was far too...as his former students would say, 'creeped out'.

It was disconcerting to have to look at so many instances of himself, especially in the white-ish robes that a fair percentage of them seemed to be wearing. He had always worn black since he had been able to afford clothes for himself, at first because he liked the fact that it made him look forbidding and mysterious, then later on because he had secretly been in mourning. He had then looked down, only to find that he himself was wearing white robes bearing a golden seventy.

Unsure of what else to do, Severus had pretended to be just another one of the copies of himself, allowing himself to be herded into a train. In this train, there had been four copies of himself, and each had a different golden number on their chests, a one, a twenty, a seventy-five and a ninety-eight. For whatever reasons, each had apparently had a story to tell of their lives. There had seemed to be some form of truth-spell on the train-car, as he had tried to lie when he was asked about his past, only to find himself saying the truth.

Although he had been forced to discuss his past with his...alternates, Severus honestly hadn't paid much attention to what he was saying once he realized that he was forced to tell the truth, being far more interested in the histories of his counterparts.

The version of himself with a one had been smiling, affable, even funny; his story had been something that made Severus and the rest of his counterparts want to reach across the train-car and strangle him. His story had been much like Severus' own story until he met Lily, where this version of himself had been captivated by the redhead...

_Flashback:_

_"I know exactly what you mean...Seventy, she was like a light shining upon my forsaken world, but I didn't make your mistake. I made sure that she could never leave me..." The man said with a contented smile alighting his lips. "...It took a long time, years in fact, but I got rid of all of her friends who might steal her light from me. Even a broken shard of the girl she was, she still shone brilliantly to me; I truly loved her, although I had to punish her when she was...naughty... She was so willful at first, and it took so long to break her of her bad habits that I almost lost hope, but I fixed her..."_

_No-one spoke, Severus was too horror-struck at what this twisted reflection of himself was implying. He had heard enough stories, seen enough instances, lived through them even; he knew what this monster was implying, and shuddered as he pictured his always-beautiful flower painted painted black and blue, green eyes empty of all light. _

_Growling, he hissed out at his counterpart, "How dare you? What I spent a lifetime wishing for... You treated her as if she were trash!"_

_Chuckling, his counterpart said with amusement and mirth dancing in his eyes, "Not often, and only when she had displeased me; after a while, she learned how best to please me, and it was unnecessary to punish her..."_

_"You SICK son of-" Severus leapt toward his counterpart, roaring in rage, but was interrupted mid-shout by what seemed to be an invisible wall. Seeing nothing but red blood and bruised flowers, he tried to claw his way through the invisible barrier, shouting curses and hexes all the while._

_Meanwhile, the man continued mildly, the other variants of Severus Snape looking at the situation with murderously cold, calculating eyes. It was clear that Severus had only been the first one of them to attempt bodily harm upon this monster, and the others would have done the exact same thing if given the slightest chance..._

_Unable to listen as the man gleefully described how he had carefully broken Lily Evans until she felt that she didn't deserve anything but the brutalities heaped upon her, Severus spent the rest of the story in a state of sheer rage, searching desperately for something with which he could shatter the skull of that man with the laughing eyes..._

_End Flashback:_

Unfortunately, for whatever reason, Severus had been unable to get within two feet of the smiling monster, making it impossible to fulfill his new purpose of of killing him. As such, he had pretended not to be paying attention to him, at least until he got an opportunity...

Nothing else to do, he then stalked back to his seat and listened to the tale of the one with the Twenty, a version of himself who acted much the same but with a certain coldness to his demeanor that even Severus could tell was a little off. It was like this variant didn't see people so much as he did possible allies and threats...

_Flashback:_

_One's tale finished, Twenty then spoke in a tone that made a glacier look nice and toasty, "Well, now that the madman is finished-"_

_"I resent-"_

_Glaring coldly at him, Severus then spoke in a tone of such hatred and malice that the other copies of himself looked at him as if he were a bomb about to go off,"You do realize that the rest of us intend to break your pasty neck as soon as we get the chance, correct? Please, do continue to annoy me, as I have more than enough ways to make you suffer once I get my wand back...suffering of such agonizing pain that it would make a 'Cruciatus' look like a day at the bloody BEACH!"_

_"..."_

_"Very well, as I was saying," Twenty continued as One fell silent, "in my time-line things were very different; while I encountered Ms. Evans at the same time the rest of you did, my mother took me and fled my abusive father, returning to my Grandparents." _

_Seventy-five, after glaring at One with the same raw fury that Severus felt, asked the speaker curiously, "Were the two of you still friends afterward?"_

_Frowning, Twenty thought for a moment, then shrugged before saying, "I'm afraid not, not in any way that remotely resembled your Seventy's friendship with her. We exchanged letters, but that was only once a month or so. Besides," He then smiled in a slightly dreamy sort of way, "I then met my beautiful fel angel...Margaret MacDonald. I fell in love with her in a matter of months, although it was years before I told her or vice-versa..."_

_Ninety-eight then wondered aloud, a thoughtful frown on his face, "What else changed? I mean, what changed as a whole because it was Mary instead of Lily you fell for?"_

_Twenty shrugged, putting a finger to his lips in thought, "Well, the rivalry was with Sirius rather than James, who was still besotted with Lily. Luckily for me, Mary had a mean streak that made this rivalry far more enjoyable, as she had no qualms with joining in on the fighting rather than trying to maintain the peace like Lily would always try to do." He then smirked. "Besides, it didn't last much past fifth year, as that was when Mary and I started using the Marauders as testing dummies for our more...destructive spells. '__Convoco Pesadilla' __certainly brought an end to those battles..."_

_Severus frowned; he didn't know Spanish, so he couldn't translate the exact meaning, but 'Convoco' sounded like something involving summoning._

_Meanwhile, Twenty continued calmly, "Both Mary and I joined the Death Eaters, not realizing what we were getting into at first, but happy to be fighting the same people who had mocked us both for being 'Evil Slytherins'. We racked up quite a body count from those foolish Order members, but we soon realized that our leader was a complete madman, and would lead us all to our deaths one day... However, we weren't Slytherins for nothing, and we took over his 'organization' from within... Eventually, we staged a coup; even the Dark Lord can be defeated when his wand is conveniently absent... Unfortunately, I died in the process, thanks to a Killing curse from Bellatrix..."_

_Seventy-five looked over at him, eyes evaluating the proud man, who had a calm, regal air to him even as he sat in the cheap-looking train-car. Finally, Seventy-five sighed and said, "Well, at least you did the right thing, even if it wasn't for the right reasons..."_

_Unruffled by Seventy-five's words, Twenty said with a light chuckle, "Perhaps you are right, but I've never been bothered much by other people's 'right and wrong'. There are things far more important than meaningless prefixes like those trite, meaningless words, like the safety of my family, the love of my wife, and my own happiness... Besides, if I had joined the Order, then I would never have had the chance to rip Lupin in half with my 'Sectumsempra'..."_

_Everyone except for One looked at him with a mix of dislike and, in one case, hatred..._

_End Flashback:_

Severus had wondered at the time what the man had seen in Mary, who had always seemed to hold herself aloof from him when he had been forced to converse with her. 'I suppose she was attractive...well until she died of course, and she was quite intelligent, but what else did she have to offer?'

He tried to picture the woman, but he couldn't, not after all of this time. When he tried, all he could see was that irksome chit Hermione Granger, as they really had looked a lot alike...to the level that Severus had gotten a sense of deja vu when he had seen the girl for the first time, although ice-queen Mary had had a sense of cool apathy that he had never seen in that bleeding-heart Hermione.

The next version of himself to speak gave him a bit of a chill, just from his appearance, as it was too strange to see a grin on a face that was all but identical to his own... Ninety-eight seemed to project an aura of peace, confidence, even understanding, things which Severus had never had the pleasure of knowing in his life...

_Flashback:_

_Ninety-eight looked at Twenty with a touch of pity, but merely said with a smirk, "That was...OK, I suppose, but I must say that I disagree with your decisions greatly. Regardless, my story was very much different from your story, although it was probably most similar in some ways... We chose not to move so far away when my mother left Mr. Snape, in fact living in the same neighborhood as Lily. Although my mother realized her mistake with Tobias Snape, that didn't mean she wanted to go back to our grandparents."_

_Severus nodded, understanding perfectly; he had gotten the chance to meet his grandparents once, and he hadn't cared for them much. Although they were nice, they were raving blood-purists, although they had never joined Voldemort. It had been before the end of his and Lily's friendship, so when they had insulted her heritage... Well, he had actually just gone off and sulked, rather than doing anything about it. 'Of course, it's not like there was much I could do, but perhaps if she had known that I didn't think of her like that...' _

_Shaking his head to clear it of the 'what ifs' once more, Severus returned his attention to Ninety-eight's story. The man was speaking with a smirk planted firmly on his face as he told his tale, "...Well, after Petunia realized that she could make use of some magical items even without having any magical ability whatsoever, she did a rather quick turnaround on her dislike. After all, with the stuff me and my mum made for her, she now had something she could show off with to the other kids..."_

_"It's nice to see that she was a hypocrite as well as jealous." Twenty said, roaring with amused laughter. "Still, it probably helped you with Lily a bunch, eh? Even if she was a little bint it surely helped you score points."_

_Ninety-eight gave him a cold look, then said coolly, "Petunia Pettigrew ended up becoming one of my best friends. Do not insult her for being an immature child when she was ten. Besides," His voice turned speculative. "I think that her anger and jealousy towards me at the time was probably mostly because she was afraid of 'losing' her sister to me. After all, she couldn't do magic and I could..."_

_Severus felt a slight twinge of guilt at this, as while he hadn't tried to destroy the two sisters' relationship, he certainly didn't mind it when it happened. He also felt a sense of...sympathy for the blond-haired Muggle, as he knew exactly what it was like to fear losing someone you cared about to a boy who could do things he couldn't... Just like her, he had given into his jealousy, never telling Lily how scared he was of losing her and why._

_Meanwhile, Ninety-eight's story had moved on, and he was gesturing animately as he told his tale, "Much like in Seventy's time-line, I became romantic rivals with James Potter, although he didn't really fight me much at all. Perhaps it was because I was a Hufflepuff instead of a Slytherin. Nonetheless, things started getting pretty hairy towards fifth year, as everyone could tell that Lily was interested in both James and myself in the romantic sense." Sighing, the man continued with a smirk, "Well, I was pretty sure that I would win out in the end, assuming that Lily had to make a choice. After all, I had been her best friend for years, and I didn't have my head stuck up my bum... Still, it wasn't a chance I was willing to take, so guess what I did?"_

_Seventy-five asked curiously, giving the Hufflepuffian version of himself the cue he had clearly been seeking, "Err, you humiliated him or something along those lines?"_

_"Nope, I made an agreement with James to tag-team her!" Said Ninety-eight jubiliantly._

_Severus felt his jaw drop as he heard the man speaking about that so casually. The very idea of doing anything even remotely sexual with James joining in...even if it wasn't 'man-to-man', it was enough to make Severus want to rinse his mouth out with Basilisk venom. 'I certainly HOPE that it wasn't like that... I would never live it down, even if it was just my counterpart...'_

_"It wasn't like we were mortal enemies or anything, and James was never in much of a mood to follow the rules of society, so it wasn't impossible or anything. Lily wasn't exactly thrilled with the idea of being shared, but in her words, 'It sure as hell beats watching the two of you acting like bloody Neanderthals'! Mind you, it took a LOT more work than that, but we made it work; James married her in name, being the one with the more important family and whatnot, but the three of us were a family in fact..."_

_As the other Severus' looked at one another, trying to figure out what kind of demented madman had infested their look-alike's body; with the exception of Twenty, the rest of them would clearly rather get bitten by an over-large snake... 'Still, if it got me the chance to spend a life with Lily...maybe it would have been worth it._

_Meanwhile, Ninety-eight continued with a grin, clearly enjoying the perplexed visages of his counterparts in a way that no Slytherin would,"In any case, Voldemort started swinging his big wand around, trying to take over the wizarding world. Luckily, thanks to James' prestige and my negotiating skills, we managed to forge a coalition that was so large that even the Death Eaters couldn't take it on." He then frowned slightly. "Of course, James was the one who got all the glory in public... Still, I had never been much for all the glory, and it made James positively thrilled to get elected to the position of Minister of Magic...until he realized all of the work involved."_

_"And how did you die?" Asked One with a touch of mild interest._

_"Eh, not really sure; I just remember falling asleep one night after I turned one-fifty, then not waking up. Still, it wasn't all that bad; I'd been waiting nearly twenty years to see Lily and James again..."_

_To this, Severus merely shook his head, trying to get out of his head the picture of him and Potter 'tag-teaming' Lily. He may have gotten a ninety-eight, but the man was clearly a nutcase...although he seemed to be very happy._

_Obviously, Severus hated him._

_End Flashback_

In hindsight, Severus thought that he understood Ninety-eight a bit better; without having to deal with his father, or his worry that Petunia would 'steal' Lily, he hadn't had the same urge to make something of himself. Instead, he had been perfectly content as he was, just like one of those sodding, bleeding-heart Hufflepuffs. 'Still, I would have had to be positively DESPERATE to share Lily with someone like Potter! He was completely, barking mad! Of course, given how much some of my counterparts changed...it's probably best that I don't compare myself to them...'

Shrugging, Severus' thoughts then turned to the tale of Seventy-five, who he both envied and felt some measure of disgust towards... Perhaps it was because their time-lines had been identical but with Lily and her husband surviving, thanks to choosing Sirius Black as their Secret-Keeper and not changing it...

_Flashback:_

_Seventy-five then spoke, "Well, that was an...interesting time-line. Mine was quite similar to Seventy's, however Lily and her family survived, as Peter Pettigrew didn't become their Secret-Keeper... He still betrayed them though, kidnapping the young Harry and trying to bring him to Voldemort, but I managed to catch him and kill him..._

_He frowned at Severus, who felt a sudden surge of anger. Although the man didn't deserve it, he felt a great deal of dislike and envy toward him, as he had gotten what Severus would have done anything for out of mere chance... Finally, the man said simply, still frowning sadly at him, "Unfortunately, while I regained my friendship with Lily, I eventually realized that I had little choice but to move on. I had missed my chance due to my foolishness, and there was no second chances in the 'game of love'. Still, I always loved her, and I think that she grew to think of me in the same way..."_

_Seventy-five paused for a moment, shaking his head in mild regret, then continued, "After a while, I got back onto the 'dating scene', although I can't say that I was too impressed with the 'women' who were there. They...they reminded me of scum like Petter Pettigrew, most of them, only interested in me because I was famous for what I had done... Still, although I never really got close to any of them, they sure made good shags some of the time..."_

_"And you took advantage of them like that? Just for their bodies? That's awful!" Severus rolled his eyes as Ninety-eight glared at Seventy-five, clearly quite the goody-goody when he wasn't completely shocked, like he had been during One's tale. The man's eyes blazed with righteous fury, and Severus began to see why he was able to get along with James Potter... Like him, he was clearly a complete moron..._

_Meanwhile, Seventy-five responded coolly, "They wanted the fame that came from sleeping with a famous guy, I wanted shagging; it worked out just fine... Besides, I think that I had this slight hope that Lily would become raving jealous or something. I dunno... That phase didn't last for more than a few years before I started dating in the hopes of finding someone I could actually like...which unfortunately didn't happen for a good fifteen years..."_

_Ninety-eight seemed mollified, but he still had a frown on his lips as he watched Seventy-five tell his tale..._

_Trailing off for a moment, he then shrugged. "In any case, I spent my years travelling between Hogwarts and the Potter home; apparently, my saving his son's life was enough for James to decide to let bygones be bygones, as long as I didn't try anything with his wife...or at least not anything that he noticed... It didn't matter much, as I eventually realized that the only way of getting Lily back would be to get James to cheat on her or trick her somehow...and I had never wanted to win that way." Severus nodded at this; he had always taken pride in his sense of honor, even when he was a Death Eater. Winning Lily back like that...just wasn't him, although he would certainly have been tempted._

_Unfortunately, One butted in, saying with a smirk, "That was pretty stupid of you; if you wanted her, then why give up before there's nothing left that you can do? If it were me, I would have just used Amortentia, then let it taper off."_

_Twenty replied for Seventy-five, saying coldly, "There is a difference between what someone can do, and what they should do, worm. I may not be one to talk, but I would never have done anything like what you would pull..."_

_Ignoring them both, Seventy-five continued with a smirk, "Well, Harry came to school, quickly making a bunch of friends. The first ones were good ones...the later ones not so much; still, I will always thank my lucky stars for the day he made friends with a certain Miss Hermione Granger... The two of us became good friends, staying as such even when Harry got caught up with Ron Weasley's little pigheaded group of Slytherin-hating Quidditch players. She actually started to come to me as if I were her mentor, something which flattered me greatly. I had never been someone who people really wanted to talk to or learn from..."_

_Smiling as he looked down slightly, fingering a golden band with a single emerald on his finger, the man's eyes seemed alight with merriment for a moment. "I taught her just about everything I knew, taking her from a brilliant student to a brilliant Potions Mistress. As I'm sure Seventy noticed in his time-line, she didn't have much of a flair for the topic, but she created her own genius in the end. Hermione ended up memorizing just about everything that could affect a potion and in what way, by the time I was through with her. This allowed her to become truly brilliant at modifying potions for easier usage... Lily adored her, and was thrilled for the help, as was I..." _

_His voice turned wistful, then he smirked as he said,__"I didn't realize it at the time, but I was falling for her, and she was doing the same. Of course, nothing happened while she was a student... Dumbledore would have been furious with me if I had; he was already angered about how I had given up my usefulness as a spy for Harry's sake after all..." _

_Severus had to smirk at that; after being jerked around like a puppet for half of his life by Dumbledore, he couldn't say he minded the thought of him getting a little peeved. It would have almost been worth dating the bushy-haired chit to see Dumbledore tearing out his beard like he surely would have... 'That would teach him to have me spend my entire bloody life guarding a boy he just planned to feed to an Avada Kedavra! He can do his own dirty work next time, instead of making me the scapegoat for his sordid schemes!'_

_Meanwhile, Seventy-five said slowly, "However...Hermione started making her moves long before I decided to pursue her, although I didn't realize it at the time. It wasn't until the Fall after her seventh year that I realized that she would always wait to tell me her most clever ideas in our little Potions sessions until right before I was about to go out on a date...and then I would be so caught up on talking to her that I would almost have to be dragged out the door! Really, it was quite masterful..."_

_Although most of his counterparts seemed not to care much about the romance between Seventy-five and the girl, Severus frowned darkly, hating the very idea of being attracted to Granger; the little chit pushed all of his buttons, infuriating him constantly. If it weren't for her, he was sure that he would have gotten the chance to expel Potter years ago...well, if Dumbledore had the slightest bit of fairness when it involved the boy that is. She might have been reasonably clever and quick-witted, but there was no way that there could have been anything between them, that he was certain!_

_'Still...perhaps my counterpart did have a point... No, best not to think about it; besides, he seems like a very different man. It's unlikely that even Granger would have fallen for a wreck of a man like me...' Mused Severus._

_Returning his attention to the story, he quickly realized that Seventy-five must have moved on with his story, as it sounded as if he were near the end of it. "...Unfortunately, a few years after Hermione had our first and only child, who she named Keila for whatever reason, she passed away. Of course, just like Seventy, I didn't follow her into the void; I had a daughter to take care of, and friends who needed me...even if I still am not quite sure how Potter and I grew to consider ourselves friends... Perhaps acquaintances would have been a better term..."_

_Frowning for a moment, Seventy-five then said simply, "Well, the rest of my life wasn't all that interesting; I taught, I raised my daughter and I spent time with my friends. I think I had a pretty good life, but I can't deny that I've been looking forward to seeing Hermione again for a very long time... I love Lily, but I've promised myself to Hermione, now and forever..._

_End Flashback:_

He still wasn't quite sure what to say about that time-line, although that might have been because he had gotten the chance to punch that blasted One in his hooked beak of a nose. A wanker like him deserved every bit of hell that this strange afterlife had cooked up for him... Besides, it helped him avoid thoughts about how his life hadn't amounted to all that much, even if he had been a hero...

Shrugging, Severus did his best to blend in as he was guided into a small, roundish room, with a red stone in the center. The stone then started to speak, "Processing...Severus 18275048, finished in the Seventieth Percentile. Individual results: pain to others: 6, pain to self: 10, pleasure to others: 4, pleasure to self: 1. Overall Result: 2.5... A positive balance means that you can avoid purgatory completel-"

Suddenly, it stopped speaking, interrupted by a voice that Severus hadn't heard in more than twenty years, save for in a pensieve or his mind. Turning in shock, Severus saw Lily Evans leaning against the greyish stone wall behind him, a sad smile on her face. Her voice was quiet, but with a maturity that Severus couldn't remember it having, "So...you're here too now, Severus. It...it's been a while."

Severus swallowed, opened his mouth to speak, then closed it without saying anything. He had spent so long wondering what he would say to her if he got the chance to speak to her again...yet he didn't know what to say, now that he had received the opportunity. Instead, he merely drank in her eyes, the last thing that he remembered from his life. They still shone with kindness and peace, but now they possessed a hard-earned understanding and maturity that he couldn't remember seeing on them in life... He also noticed that she bore a set of greyish-white robes, similar to his own but somewhat darker, bearing a golden 'forty-four' emblazoned on the front.

Swallowing one last time, Severus croaked out hoarsely, "It...it has been a while, Lily..." He couldn't stop himself from caressing her name reverently when he spoke it, savoring how he had finally gotten the chance to say it while speaking to her... "I've...missed you very much..."

"I've missed you too, S-Severus..." Her voice was muffled slightly, and Severus could see that her eyes were wet as she gazed at him searchingly. Choking up slightly, he opened his mouth once more, then closed it soundlessly. A silence descended upon the former best friends as they each looked at one another sadly, Severus knowing what he should say, but unable to say it with how uncomfortable he was. It was a feeling that was far too familiar to him...far too painful...

Mustering his courage, Severus then spoke, forcing out the words from his mouth much like he had done in the past...although he hoped for a better outcome this time, "Lily, I'm really sor-"

However, Lily cut him off, saying quickly, "No, Severus, please let me apologize first this time." She took a deep breath, causing her chest to inflate slightly, then seemed to be suddenly paralyzed as he looked into her eyes. Her face took on a slightly reddish hue as she tried again, finally saying, "I...I never meant for things to get so out of hand towards the end of our friendship, especially after Sirius tried to kill you, and I'm very sorry about that. I mean, I knew that things were going badly, but I just...didn't want to confront them. I was scared and worried, and I-I'm sorry that I didn't believe in you the way I should have... You weren't half as bad as I made it sound when you spent that night by the portrait hole, but things were so complicated..."

She halted herself suddenly, then shook her head, then continued with a muttered "Come on Lily, you've spent years thinking this over...".

"Actually, no it wasn't complicated; it was me being stupid and pigheaded and listening to other people who were equally stupid and pigheaded. When I should have been thinking about you, and at least considered how humiliated you had been and how desperate for friends you were, I was thinking all about myself and how hurt 'I' was and how 'I' had been betrayed after years of standing up for you. You were...you were horrified by what you had done, and clearly regretted it completely... Had I realized this...then it wouldn't have been too late, not really... I-I had already decided that you were guilty, and didn't even give you a fair chance...and for that, I'm more sorry than you can possibly imagine..."

Lily then paused, before giggling slightly, much to Severus' confusion. "Actually, you are probably the only one who COULD imagine how sorry I was." Sobering quickly, the red-headed woman then continued, bowing her head so that Severus could no longer see her eyes, "I'm sorry that I didn't listen to you, and I'm sorry I didn't give you the chance that you deserved. You deserved better than you got from everyone, and I'm no exception..."

She then lifted her head slightly, to the point where Severus could just barely see her face, cloaked in the shadows as it was. Lily then asked quietly, worry creeping into her tone, "Will you forgive me, Severus?"

Severus could only stare at her dumbly; he had spent years mourning the end of their friendship, wondering how he might have done something different to change how it would have gone. He had never really focused on what Lily had or had not done, as it wasn't her fault that he hadn't been worthy of for-

Cutting that thought off before it could begin once again, Severus nodded and said hoarsely, "Yes...I'll forgive you, Lily..." As she beamed at him though, clearly about to speak, Severus then held up his hand. Speaking slowly, he then continued, "...but only if you promise to listen to my apology for what I've done... I've done things that are worse than you can possibly imagi-"

"You're wrong." Lily interrupted, eyes flashing with...something, something Severus couldn't identify as she shook her head furiously. "I've been watching over you, you and Harry, for years. I've seen you at your worst, when you were bullying my son mercilessly out of a hatred for a man long-dead, but I've also seen you at your best: charging into the Shrieking Shack to protect Harry and capture the man you thought was his killer, knowing that you were outnumbered and facing the same werewolf which nearly killed you once before...but you did it anyway, and no-one even thought to thank you for that..."

As Severus remembered the incident, although without the silly heroics that Lily seemed determined to inject into it, she continued forcefully, "Severus, I've had years to get to understand my husband, and he is a very good man. He risked his life for the entire wizarding world, and for the sake of those he loved... However...however, you risked your life for those who hated you, sacrificing everything for the sake of a boy who you thought was nothing more than a copy of his hated father and a reminder of your mistakes besides..." Lily's tone then changed to a quiet, admiring one, "Severus, I'll forgive you of the mistakes you have made, but you'll have to admit that there was far more to your life than those..."

Not sure if he could do what she was asking, Severus still nodded nonetheless, as it behooved him to accept her terms in return for what was really quite minor indeed. Lily then lifted her head, and Severus caught his breath, seeing her watery smile.

Stiff as a board, he watched helplessly as she walked over to him, then wrapped her arms around him in a hug. Her voice muffled by his white robes as she buried her face in his chest, he heard her say, "Thank you, Severus, thank you so very much..."

"Um...thank you?" Severus asked hesitantly, mind racing as he was unsure how to deal with this... Although he wasn't afraid anymore of her knowing how he felt about her, especially since she just told him that she had been peeping on him for more than a decade and probably knew already, that didn't mean that he knew how to deal with a hug... "Err, could you let me go?"

In response to his uncomfortable inquiry, Lily merely let out a laugh, which tickled his chest as she stubbornly said, "No."

Forced to submit to her embrace, Severus allowed himself to grow mildly comfortable, although he was starting to wonder just when something would occur to make things go all pear-shaped. Finally, he heard Lily clear her throat; looking down, he noticed that she had backed up slightly, although she was still hugging him. She had a disappointed look on her face, and Severus felt a stabbing sensation pass through him once again, knowing that he had messed things up again...

"Severus...I wish that you hadn't died like that...hours before you would have gotten the chance to show the world what a hero you were...perhaps finding someone...someone else that you loved." And that was it, verbal confirmation that Lily knew how he had felt about her, and that she didn't feel the same way... Surprisingly, he felt better knowing for sure, as if a giant weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. However, his thoughts were short-circuited by her continuing,

"Early on, I'll admit that I was flattered by how you sacrificed everything for my sake...but I didn't want you to spend the rest of your life miserable, not for the sake of a woman long-dead... Dumbledore was wrong when he claimed that I would have wanted you to spend your life keeping my son sake; mind you, I wanted Harry safe very much, but not at the cost of watching you living your life like a rat in a cage... I wanted you to be happy, not miserable..."

Severus swallowed at this, then looked away, before saying hoarsely, "I...I would never have forgiven myself, had I not done everything I could to atone for what went wrong. Besides, I needed to remember you to keep me sane, to keep me from taking the easy route out... I came so close several times to joining them for real; they were the only ones who cared about me, especially Lucius, Draco and Narcissa."

He swallowed, hardly able to look down at those saddness-filled green eyes. "It was incredibly tempting to just...stop pretending that I was a Death Eater and actually do it for real, especially after Dumbledore's death... I could have fallen so easily... Maybe if I had survived, then perhaps I would have moved on, but I needed to remember you... I needed to keep my torch for you burning or I would have had nothing to protect me from the darkness again... "

"I still wish that you had had the chance, Severus. I'll say it once, and I'll say it again: You deserved far more than what you got out of your life..." Lily said fervently, before lapsing into silence, making Severus want to smile once more; even if she didn't love him in the way he wanted...he would be more than fine enough with her friendship... After so long and with so little, it would be worth its weight in gold to him...

Lily then backed away, letting go of Severus , making him feel rather...cold. She then said awkwardly, fidgetting slightly as she spoke, "Well, anyway, I've come here to help you decide what you want to do with your afterlife."

She coughed, then spoke in a more formal tone, "Ahem, in any case, you have four options thanks to your high percentile. You can move on, bringing along anyone who you want to bring and who wants to come with you. you can be reincarnated alone, forgetting just about everything, but receiving a very good life thanks to your high percentile, or you can move on to a 'perfect world'..." She paused for a moment, then continued, "Well, not a completely perfect world, but one which is ideally suited for you... I'm still not quite sure what that means... Stupid subtle distinctions..."

Severus had to chuckle, amused at how Lily found difficulty with 'subtlety' even after so long...much like her son did...an odd thought.

"In any case, Severus, there is a fourth option for you. You can do what...a friend of mine called a 'linked reincarnation'. You, me and anyone that either of us want to who is willing to come along can choose to be reincarnated together. We wouldn't remember anything, but..." Lily trailed off, then said quietly, but in such a way that Severus knew that she had changed the subject, "Things wouldn't happen in the same way, although we would certainly meet again, even if we didn't recognize each other as the same person..."

Cutting herself off, Lily then shrugged slightly, before placing her hands on his and grasping them lightly. "It's all up to you; whichever choice you prefer, it's all fine with me... Bear in mind, I asked James if he wanted to come along, but still...I don't think he will; he keeps saying that he wouldn't abandon the rest of his Marauders... Besides, twenty years including the afterlife is a lot of time, you know?"

Severus thought it over, but he knew from the beginning which one he would choose. A perfect world sounded nice, but...he didn't think that it would be worth it without the one he loved... "I choose the fourth option..."

Lily smiled, eyes alight with joy...

_Epilogue:_

_Severus scowled as he stomped through the Hogwarts train, having had to suffer the antics of his...over-affectionate mother; although nice in private, it was incredibly embarrassing in public. She had even kissed him on the cheek as he prepared to leave for Hogwarts for his second year, KISSED him! How on earth would he survive the jeers of his housemates after that!?_

_As if that weren't bad enough, he had been so late in getting on the train that it was unlikely that he could have a compartment to himself, family name or no. So far the first six compartments had been filled to the brim already, with Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs no less. 'A particularly loathesome combination; either they're arrogant fools or bleeding-heart idiots! At least the Ravenclaws have brains to go with their bluster!' He knew from his father that Gryffindor sometimes got some intelligent students, albeit a rare thing, but he had seen no evidence of that in the entire past YEAR._

_Spying an empty compartment, he rushed inside and closed the door behind him, before groaning as he tried to lift his luggage and place it in the overhead compartments. Although he had persuaded his mother that he did NOT need ten pairs of shoes, and his father had placed a multitude of lightening and shrinking charms upon the bags, it was still heavy to lift his personal laboratory. Still, after a few minutes of struggling, he managed to place it in the compartment without trouble._

_Smirking, he turned around, only to see a girl sitting across from him, staring at him with a rather pink face. She was rather...pretty, short, but with long red hair and bright brown eyes. However, what was far more impressive was how the had slipped in without him noticing...he could have sworn that he had locked the door behind him... _

_Suddenly, she smiled and let out a giggle, causing Severus to realize that he had been caught staring...and at a girl, no less! __His face heating up, he then hissed out, "What the hell are you doing here, you nosy little chit! This is my compartment, not yours!"_

_No longer laughing, the girl gave him a dark look, one which caused Severus to unintentionally gulp in fear... She then got up, placing her hands on her hips, before saying peevishly, "In case you didn't notice, I was the one who was here first, you moronic knucklehead! I was sitting right here, by the window, when you barged right in! If you want to leave, then go ahead! I'm staying right here!"_

_Realizing that he must have missed her thanks to how short she was, Severus quickly changed the subject, saying coolly, "Well, just make sure that you keep it down then. I'm trying to study!" He saw her roll her eyes in annoyance, but was quickly distracted by his book, on advanced animal transfigurations; there was so much he didn't know, in spite of what lessons Grandpa Lucius would give him when they came over to his house._

_However, he was suddenly interrupted by the silly girl's crouching by him and looking over his shoulder and asking curiously, "What are you studying? I don't recall any mention of spells like that in our curriculum..." _

_Although his first instinct was to be annoyed, Severus had to admit that the girl was far more intelligent than she had seemed at first glance, if she had actually taken the time to look up the entire first-year's curriculum. As such, he nodded and said in a more genial tone of voice, "Well, this sort of stuff is the basis of Animagus training, the very basics. What with my name and all, I've got quite a bit to live up to. Becoming an Animagus is something that is really cool-sounding, don't you think?"_

_The girl frowned, then pointed out, "Err, I don't think that you told me your name."_

_His face heating up once more as he realized that the girl was right again, Severus nonetheless drew himself up and said proudly, "My name's Severus, Severus Lucius Malfoy. My dad named me after his godfather, THE Severus Tobias Snape! Dad said that it had to be an omen when I was born, as he had been thinking about how to honor the man, and out I popped with a shock of dark hair just like him!"_

_The girl certainly seemed impressed, as her mouth gaped open in an 'o', eyes flashing with interest. "Wow, that's really cool! I mean, Severus Snape was a genius, or so my dad told me." She then offered Severus her hand, saying with a grin, "I'm Lily, Lily Potter. It's really nice to meet you."_

_Accepting her hand, Severus kissed it lightly, chuckling as he saw the girl blush. She was certainly interesting, Miss Lily Potter... The red-head seemed rather smart, and it was fun to talk with her, even if she was a girl... He hoped that she would be in Slytherin too..._

_His musings were interrupted when Lily asked curiously, "Wouldn't it be hard, trying to become an animagus? I mean, I know that my dad tried and failed, and he's supposed to be a really powerful wizard; everyone says so..."_

_Severus smirked, before continuing the conversation. This girl was smart, funny and seemed nice without being stupid; it was a shame that she was a Potter...but he couldn't wait until he could introduce it to his dad. Draco Malfoy would have a thestral at the thought of his son being friends with a Potter!_

_

* * *

'Stupid brothers!' Lily growled mentally, incensed at how both of her brothers had chosen to abandon her as soon as they had gotten on the train, meeting with their friends. 'They promise to keep an eye on me, and they forget about it before they even choose a compartment! I mean, I didn't really want to spend all my time with their dirty, Quidditch-loving friends, but still!'_

_Regardless, this left Lily all alone, as everyone seemed to pass by her compartment. It wasn't surprising really, as she had always been rather quiet, not having many friends other than her family. Still, she still remembered her father's tales of meeting Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione on his first trip to Hogwarts, and had privately hoped for such a meeting in HER first train ride..._

_As if to answer her thoughts, a boy suddenly barged into the room, slamming the door behind him. He had long, dark hair, which stretched nearly to the top of his shoulders and pale skin. He was clearly a pureblood wizard, as Lily doubted that anyone of another blood status would be wearing a pink blouse with dark brown trousers. Grunting heavily, he groaned as he lifted a couple of bags up to the overhead compartments, acting as if he were lifting a good few stones with each one. _

_Smirking proudly, the boy then turned around and looked right at her, causing Lily to blush as she realized that she had been caught staring. He didn't seem to mind though, appearing more confused than anything else. Nearly a minute passed with the two looking at each other in silence, her being primarily interested in his rather warm grey eyes. Lily wondering what was bothering him so much..._

_Suddenly, Lily giggled as she realized why he was looking so confused: he must not have noticed that she was in the compartment with how short she was. The boy seemed to take offence though, clenching his hands into fists at his sides as he hissed out, flushing slightly,"__What the hell are you doing here, you nosy little chit! This is my compartment, not yours!"_

_Hurt at the boys rudeness, Lily glared at him. If he didn't want to share a compartment with her, just like everybody else, then that was fine by her! She then got up, placing her hands on her hips, before saying peevishly, "In case you didn't notice, I was the one who was here first, you moronic knucklehead! I was sitting right here, by the window, when you barged right in! If you want to leave, then go ahead! I'm staying right here!"_

_However, instead of leaving like her brothers would have when she was in a temper, the boy merely frowned slightly at her. He then said "Well, just make sure that you keep it down then. I'm trying to study!" in a cool voice, causing her to roll her eyes in annoyance as he turned his face toward the suddenly-opened book. Still, it could have gone worse, she supposed._

_A bit of time passed, during which Lily quickly grew restless; she had been a little foolish now that she thought about it, packing all of her books into her trunk. Now what was she supposed to do? She had nothing to read, and this boy didn't seem to be interested in doing anything other than reading HIS book._

_Sighing, she turned to look at the boy, as there was nothing else to do really. She wondered what house he was in, or if he was a first-year like her. He lacked a tie, but that didn't mean much as they had yet to change into their robes, although maybe the book would give a clue. Taking a good look at him, Lily noticed that he seemed very well organized and not horribly groomed, unlike most of the boys she knew. Albus had once been a clean boy, but then James and Hugo had gotten him into Quidditch, and he had never looked back..._

_Noticing the title to his book after she walked over to him to get a better look: Animal Transfiguration for The Teenage Witch or Wizard, Lily felt compelled to ask,__ "What are you studying? I don't recall any mention of spells like that in our curriculum..." She felt a sudden surge of sadness at the thought they wouldn't be in the same grade-level, although she wasn't sure why._

_The boy frowned again, but didn't seem to be bothered much, instead just watching her curiously. Lily felt as if he were giving her a test of some sort, and gazed back unflinchingly, determined to pass whatever test it was. Finally, he nodded and said in a rather nice-sounding voice,__ "Well, this sort of stuff is the basis of Animagus training, the very basics. What with my name and all, I've got quite a bit to live up to. Becoming an Animagus is something that is really cool-sounding, don't you think?"_

_Lily frowned, trying to recall if the boy had said anything, only to come up with a blank. "Err, I don't think that you told me your name."_

_The boy blushed slightly, then drew up, pointing to himself with a smirk as he said grandly, "My name's Severus, Severus Lucius Malfoy. My dad named me after his godfather, THE Severus Tobias Snape! Dad said that it had to be an omen when I was born, as he had been thinking about how to honor the man, and out I popped with a shock of dark hair just like him!"_

_That was certainly impressive, Lily had to admit, although she doubted that anyone other than her family or the Malfoys would have thought that a good referrence. Still, Severus Snape was somewhat of a family hero for the Potters, what with how he had saved both Mum and Dad in the years before he died. __"Wow, that's really cool! I mean, Severus Snape was a genius, or so my dad told me." She then offered the boy her hand as Mum had advised that she do when making friends. Grinning, she then said, "I'm Lily, Lily Potter. It's really nice to meet you."_

_Instead of simply shaking her hand, Severus pulled it up and pressed his lips to it lightly, causing her to blush. Although it was on the hand, this was the first time that she had had any boy's lips on her, apart from her family of course. She felt incredibly embarrassed as her mind whirred frantically, her thoughts firing all over the place; what if he wanted to ask her out on a date or something? That's what James did whenever he kissed a girl! She wasn't ready for dating, and boys were icky...although this one seemed fine... __Glancing at him, Lily realized that he was lost in thought; apparently she didn't have to worry about anymore kisses or dating for now, which was a very good thing, especially because he was a Malfoy!_

_Suddenly remembering what he had been saying, Lily asked aloud before she could stop herself, "Wouldn't it be hard, trying to become an animagus? I mean, I know that my dad tried and failed, and he's supposed to be a really powerful wizard; everyone says so..."_

_Severus smirked lightly at her, before explaining just how long the process was; apparently it took most wizards YEARS to become an Animagus. Even if one was very skilled, it wasn't something that one could do in just a few weeks or anything. He had barely even started learning how, after all._

_'Well, for a Malfoy, he doesn't seem so bad. Besides, anyone named after Severus Snape can't be ALL bad! I mean, look at Albus! Besides, this boy seems to be SOO much smarter than the rest of the boys I know, so maybe it will be fun to be friends with him. I hope that we're in the same houses! It seems like I've known him forever...' _

_Grinning, Lily continued the conversation with Severus Malfoy..._

**Author's Note: **Well, it's been a long, hard road, but we've finally made it to the end of the tale...at least, this part of it. I've decided to keep it open-ended for now, and I hope that I did a good job with the reincarnated duo; Severus is still clearly a bit of a geek, but this time he has a loving family, and no bullies to speak of.

I'm sure that some of you might be curious what happened between last chapter and this one, but that is a secret for now (I might include those scenes in What if? Missing Moments though!).

Although this is marked as complete, I plan on having one more chapter, acting as sort of a preview for upcoming fics... Let's just say that Lily isn't the only one to get an interesting Purgatory=)...

Until next time!

Escoger


	11. Future Harry Potter Stories and Snippets

_**Future Harry Potter Stories and Snippets**_

**AN: This is just a little bit to tease and tantalize you with what is to come. Some of these probably won't be written, but I hope they act as inspiration in a good way.**

**_Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series._**

**Cursed to Relive:  
**

I slammed the door to my room, willing, wishing that no one would come. 'Like I had done that on purpose...'

No. no, with my rotten luck, my freakishness would make the door disappear altogether, or become stuck. Perhaps it would turn into a granite wall. Something nasty, something that would force my father to spend money they didn't have in order to repair the damage her demonic powers created, again...

After all, it wouldn't be the first time something like that happened.

I bit my lip, trembling. 'Do not think about it. Don't jinx yourself girl...'

It was inevitable that the Taint would manifest again. I tried to think happy thoughts. Sappy unicorns, rainbows, that ridiculous batman series, anything to keep my mind from her parents downstairs. I rarely spent time with them anymore, the awkwardness suffocating the atmosphere. It was just too strange...

It hadn't been the same since that bloody charlatan, that swine that would swindle mum and dad, in order to 'cure their tainted child'. Arghh! It had been one of the worst days of my life...

After examining me, Father Bronson had stated that red hair was the mark of Satan. I nearly cut into the conversation then and there, but there had been no point. Seeing mother and Petunia nod at the priest's words stung. Of course Petunia agreed that was a given. But then mum had begged Bronson to save her baby...

That, that nearly reduced me to tears. I wanted to strike the man, I really did. But then, wouldn't that have proven Petunia and my parents right? That I was demonically influenced, like the man claimed? I restrained her words, I really did. After all, it WAS possible, although I didn't actually feel like doing evil acts. At least, not all the time, no matter about appearances and what Petunia thought.

Did my desire to kick the bald priest for agreeing with the whole demonic thing nonsense that my parents thought it was count? I hope not.

Then Father Bronson said he had a method to check for sure. He pulled a carefully wrapped, golden cross from his suitcase and handed it to me, commanding me to take it.

I still don't know how the man did it. I wanted to believe that the priest had heated the cross previously, after entering their house. When I screamed in agony though, and smoke escaped from my hand, even I doubted. Where did my freakishness come from after all? The priest urged me to bare the pain, to endure, that Christ would help me drive out the devil...

It hurt, it hurt so much, but I held it in spite of the burning pain...in spite of the seemingly-endless agony. After all, I didn't want to disappoint my family, even when I knew that at the end; it would fail to 'cure me', like all other methods before...

I held it, enduring the excruciating pain, a burnt smell coming from my hand...until I saw a small, nearly imperceptible smirk from the man. Then I realized the truth: the man was playing my worried parents for fools, that burning cross being a nasty trick. I was furious at that...

Even now, I couldn't help but clench my fists at the memory. Why, oh WHY did I shout "THIS IS A LIE!", throwing the cross across the room? Almost as soon as it left my burnt hands, it somehow melted, before turning into a bat as it flew out...

The silence had been deafening, the priest looked horrified, making some rather lame excuse. Eyes widened at the evidence of magic he clearly hadn't been expecting, the man claimed he needed to do more research, then promptly left.

I had been shocked speechless for the rest of the session. Even now, I wanted to kick myself for my reaction. If I could have somehow defused the situation, if I comfronted the priest, exposing him as a fraud...

It felt like my eyes had ran out of tears... It had been nearly a month, and they hadn't heard anything from Father Bronson. My parents were still tiptoeing around me. They tried to act normal, but I knew...oh, I knew that they were scared of my, just like all of her so-called 'friends'. My mother didn't even dare look at my face anymore, terrified that she would be next to suffer the 'taint'... Petunia flinched even from something as small as when I entered the room she was, practically begging dad to allow her to move to the smaller bedroom.

To move out of the room they had always shared... I didn't want to cry, but even then my heart did not always agree with my mind.

Idiotic powers. Idiotic priest. Idiotic Petunia… And of course, Idiotic Lily. Because, after all, it was my fault... It was always my fault...

* * *

The letter arrived. Everyone was silent when mother read it aloud. An uncomfortable pause reigned for a moment until Mum stated, voice trembling,

"There are more of them. And they want her back into a school. "

My father sighed, expression strained.

"Maybe it's for the best. If we can't cure Lily, Perhaps it's the next best thing; they could teach Lily to control her taint around people"

Something cracked inside me...

**The Law of Unintended Consequences:**

Remus felt awful, truly awful as Lily left the room, not even looking at him. He couldn't blame her; he had promised to try to help her with her housemates, and he had tried...only to fail miserably. They had ignored his asking them to back off, continuing to hex Lily. He had drawn his wand to help...but was unable to bring himself to hex anyone, doing nothing.

Lily had had tears in her eyes as they continued their humiliating attacks, not stopping until she was stripped down to her undergarments, the rest of her clothes having been burnt into a crisp. Laughing uproariously while Remus stood there and watched, they had shouted insults, insults the werewolf-boy couldn't hear while staring into the red-head's emerald-green eyes...

They had soon left, leaving Remus no longer able to look at Lily in his shame; he would have preferred if she would have shouted at him, instead she had ignored him completely, treating him as if he were lower than dirt, lower than a Death Eater...

He couldn't blame her.

Nor could he blame how Severus and Mary were walking toward him, apparently having found out about what had just happened, wands drawn and matching looks of hatred and rage on their respective faces. He had made a promise to Severus as well, the same one he had made to Lily. Just by the look of malice on Severus' face he knew that the boy wasn't going to let him off the hook...

Lily's response to breaking his promise had been to ignore him, at least for now, making him miserable.

Remus knew that Severus' would be to make him suffer, suffer like he had never suffered before...

**Ex Intempestivo Pax:**

"So Severus, let's get started. What memory would you like to show me?"

Severus nodded, settling down on the floor gracefully. "OK, put your memo-" Suddenly blinking, he shouted in surprise, "What did you say!?"

Lily grinned, stretching back as she tried to wiggle into a slightly more comfortable position. The grey stone floor of his basement was quite uncomfortable indeed, causing her to wish she hadn't accepted Severus' offer to do the memory-viewing here. Perhaps that was why he had the bed down here, in case he needed to sit down.

"Well, Severus, I've been thinking; I've been showing you my memories so far, but you haven't had the chance yet to show me any of yours. We may have agreed to it, but it just doesn't seem right..." Chuckling slightly as Severus seemed to weigh her words carefully, Lily couldn't resist throwing in something that was a little teasing, "Besides, surprises are good for dealing with those 'evil, Slytherin plans you like to cook up!"

Severus rolled his eyes at this, but Lily noticed his lips quirk slightly. Several minutes went by, during which he gazed at her unblinkingly, a hand placed delicately on his chin. There was an odd light in his eyes, and he seemed...nervous.

Finally, the former Slytherin spoke quietly, a small frown on his face, "I...I am unprepared to reveal too much at the moment; some of my knowledge could...obstruct the war-effort if revealed prematurely. However, I can show you this memory." He tapped his wand to his forehead, removing a single silvery strand of hair from it, dropping it swiftly into the stone basin. "You should recognize it easily enough, fifth year, two weeks after the...incident. It was the day that James Potter received his award for 'saving my life'..."

Lily wasn't surprised at the bitterness on his face as he said this; the depression there was certainly new though...or so she thought.

**Penance, The Purgatory of James:**

_"...Your task is to create one time-line where Severus Tobias Snape is Happy, Mr. Potter, while following the rules and guidelines..."_

James would have thought that such a thing would be relatively easy, given how much he knew about the man, but apparently that was not the case. It seemed simple enough, but given the limitations, he was having quite a few issues.

Also, it appeared that Severus Snape didn't enjoy being a Dark wizard nearly as much as James had thought. Becoming the second Dark Lord hadn't been a time-line that Snape had seemed to enjoy very much, although James was pretty sure that the man had enjoyed throwing Sirius into a pack of werewolves-unable to transform but otherwise normal- a LOT. Still, overall Severus had turned out to be rather miserable...AGAIN.

A particularly irksome fact was that the so-called 'prime' time-line where Severus had apparently died to some bloody snake at the age of 38 was BETTER than even James' best efforts so far.

'Well, at least I've managed to discover some 'forks in the road' thanks to my efforts so far...but this is PATHETIC! I mean, this guy's a Death Eater for Merlin's sake! How is it that he can't manage to be happy when he gets to kill whoever he wants, bed any girl he can get at the other end of his wand, and rules all of BLOODY BRITAIN!?'

James didn't know what Snape's problem was, but he would have to keep trying until he got it right; his afterlife LITERALLY depended on his results here...

It was a shame that he didn't know where to begin.

**Defiled**

Lily hated him, her former best friend, the boy she would have once given everything she possessed for. Severus had changed so much from what he had been that Lily couldn't see anything left of him, just mocking images of what he had once been, and what Lily had always hoped for him to be; instead of being that quiet, hopeful boy she had known and loved very much, he had chosen to become something...something awful, choosing to fight against everything she stood for.

She had told him once, before the end of fifth year, that she hoped to join the Order of the Phoenix as soon as they left Hogwarts and hoped that he would too. Severus had only rolled his eyes and said in a quiet, almost pitying voice that he hoped that she changed her mind before her foolishness got her killed, as he'd hate to lose his best friend fighting for a useless cause. The boy that she had once known would never have called something like that 'useless', but would have been there...a few feet behind her to be sure, but he would have fought with her.

He had once tried as hard as she did at everything, from schoolwork to simply having fun playing outside, his grin almost as bright as her own. That had changed; he never smiled anymore, and soon she couldn't remember the last time he had spoken in class. By fourth year, while Lily knew that Severus was just as bright as he had always been, his grades had fallen from 'O's' to low 'E's' and high 'A's'. He no longer bothered with school, claiming that he didn't care about it anymore.

Maybe he didn't.

A part of her died inside everytime she saw him with those boys, HIS friends, as it was a living reminder of how far he had fallen. They would laugh about how they had had so much fun with the Muggle-baiting they had done over Christmas, something about casting a spell and making a Muggle think that a five-foot drop was actually a flight of stairs, and Severus would chuckle right along with them.

It was almost more painful though when she remembered what he had done earlier that year, when his friends had broken Mary's legs 'just for a laugh'. He had mocked Mary, mocked her pain as the rest of the gang scattered to avoid their punishment, but he had also carried her up to the Hospital Wing before anyone else got the chance to.

It was more painful because in those few moments, Lily saw a glimpse of the Severus she had known, the one who she had loved and still loved. It made it far more painful than it would have been if he were just like the rest of his friends, black holes which sucked the light and goodness out of everyone around them, as she could see the shards of the boy there along with the twisted man he had become. She hated him even more for reminding her that he had once been different from them, and now mocked what he was with every word he could.

Lily would have done anything to save him, and had done everything in her power to do so...but he refused to leave his hellish darkness, in spite of his love for her, and she had given up in the end. It was all the more painful because she couldn't help but wonder...wonder if there was something that she might have said that could have stopped him.

She hated him most of all because she could see both what was, what is...and what might have been.

What hurt most of all was she sometimes got the feeling that she could have gotten the right answer from him, gotten him to leave those monsters who had defiled him, making him a monster in the process...but she had forgotten to ask the right question.

**Author's Note: **All of these snippets are from possible upcoming fics, or fics that are already in progress. All of them have at least a reasonable chance of ending SSLE, although I won't say for certain. I'd like to know which you would like to see me focus on.

Here's a brief summary of each of the fics that I haven't already posted. The last one of these is a fair bit darker and grungier than what I usually write, but it might have a happy ending:

**Penance, The Purgatory of James**: Lily wasn't the only one sent into purgatory, and James' purgatory was far worse; he has been given the task of creating a happy, healthy Severus for one reality, in recompense for the life of the one he harmed so much.

However, although he tries to finish quickly, he soon realizes that things aren't so simple even when one has the abilities he does. Severus is the same, but he soon is forced to confront the fact that his perception of the man is quite flawed indeed...

**Cursed to Relive: **After his death, Severus finds himself reborn into the body of his seven-year old self, in the bushes by the playground watching Lily. Remembering his life and knowing what he now knows, he decides to try to avoid Lily in order to protect himself from watching his life repeat itself...and protect her from him.

However, in the process of trying to fix the mistakes of his past life...he ends up making whole new ones, in spite of the best of intentions. Avoiding the problem doesn't mean solving it...

**Defiled**: Lily and James started dating in seventh year, after James got his head 'deflated', but in this universe a twist occured; after an accident with James, resulting in 'a nine-month miracle', Lily finds her position as Head Girl stripped away and most of the school hating her. Things grow more complex as Lily is forced to find out what true friends she has left in the midst of a hellish variation of what should be a happy dream.

With enemies surrounding her, she discovers that good and evil can be more complicated than merely enemy and ally...and that some friendships refuse to die even when filled with hatred...

It will be a seventh year to remember...


End file.
